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Higher-level usage of Anki: can you change you personality?

#1
I've been thinking about using Anki in a different way, or  rather, for a different prupose. 
What if I were to create a deck, or decks, from let's say, personal diaries? Morals, conclusions of social situations in my life, and what would have been the right behaviour, or right train of thought, or something like that. Create a deck, and start doing it day by day. I would think sooner or later, should I find myself in a situation like that again, I would automatically remember how to behave / think / act differently, instead of the normal routine, thus changing my behaviour at that moment. On the long run, this will become automatic, become natural, thus changing my personality. 
This is just one angle, I wonder if I could use Anki, to change my general thoughts about things, ect.
Has anyone ever tried something like this? Any thoughts?
Edited: 2017-07-03, 5:13 am
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#2
Some parts of this might work but I guess it really comes down to what things you are looking to change. If you want to change your response to something, for example, when someone says "Thank you" you train to say "You're very welcome" instead of "No Prob!" that might be doable. Things that are more action based though probably won't do well without actually doing them. Changing thought patterns, such as being more optimistic instead of pessimistic is probably way harder and isn't something you can drill on a card. Changing personality (introvert -> extrovert, or becoming more empathic) is probably impossible since we barely have an understanding on how personality arises in the first place.
Edited: 2017-07-03, 6:47 am
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#3
(2017-07-03, 5:12 am)Raschaverak Wrote: This is just one angle, I wonder if I could use Anki, to change my general thoughts about things, ect.
Has anyone ever tried something like this? Any thoughts?

This sounds like cognitive behavioral therapy.
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#4
Anki isn't a magic bullet in language learning (you can do a billion reps, and at the end of them, you still won't "automatically" be fluent), and it wouldn't be one here either.

You can't hope to replace the real world with a piece of software. It's fine to try and use Anki to help you memorize certain ideas and reactions, but, in the end, it will still come down to whether you're able to practice them in the real world.

Just to be clear: I'm not suggesting that you must completely leave your comfort zone (the fear of which is why one might seek to use Anki instead of actual social situations): in fact, because personality is just the sum of our habits, you can stay in, or relatively close to, your comfort zone, and still slowly start developing good habits in real world situations: by paying attention to the smallest of interactions, that you might not think even matter, like being nice to a clerk in a store, or paying attention when one of the unpopular kids at school has something to say to you), instead of hoping to magically figure it out in the most important spots (i.e. when you meet a hot girl).

I would also add that behavior is dependent not just on having the right belief system, and knowing what the right thing to do is, but also in having the self esteem to assert your beliefs in a social situation. And you can't really fake self esteem (well, you can fake it, but it won't work in changing your behavior). You have to build a foundation for it (build friendships, good relationships, and a positive reputation, socially, become good at your job, professionally, etc.).

But, contrary to what it might seem like in high school (if you're in high school, or fresh out of high school), it's not that important WHO you develop these relationships with. It doesn't have to be that one person everyone wants to be friends with. It can be anybody. What matters is to develop them consistently, get into a habit of being kind and attentive to your friends, expect the same back, etc. Again: personality is just a collection of habits. It's not some supernatural thing entirely outside your control. You can change your social habits, and with them, your personality...through practice...can't just do it with Anki.

I suppose Anki would be a decent starting point though...at worst, creating the cards would force you to think about WHAT you need to change, in a systematic way. Even if that's all this exercise does, it's still a great start, and it would kinda act like one of those cognitive behavioral therapists someone mentioned above. (just like with Anki, therapy by itself doesn't change bad habits ...the patient still needs to practice what they learn, on their own, for the therapy to have any effect).
Edited: 2017-07-03, 1:06 pm
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#5
(2017-07-03, 12:59 pm)Stansfield123 Wrote: Anki isn't a magic bullet in language learning (you can do a billion reps, and at the end of them, you still won't "automatically" be fluent)

999 more rounds to go I'll show all of you!
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#6
(2017-07-03, 12:59 pm)Stansfield123 Wrote:  in fact, because personality is just the sum of our habits, 

I haven't read your entire post (yet, I will get around to it), but I just had to point out, how wrong you are about this. Personality is so much MORE than just a sum of habits. No way.
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#7
(2017-07-03, 3:19 pm)Raschaverak Wrote:
(2017-07-03, 12:59 pm)Stansfield123 Wrote:  in fact, because personality is just the sum of our habits, 

I haven't read your entire post (yet, I will get around to it), but I just had to point out, how wrong you are about this. Personality is so much MORE than just a sum of habits. No way.

What are some things that make personality more than a sum of habits?
Edited: 2017-07-04, 3:02 am
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#8
who am i....where am i....mommy? is that you?  Confused
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#9
(2017-07-04, 3:01 am)datrukup Wrote: What are some things that make personality more than a sum of habits?
Your habits are the result of your personality, not the other way around. There are some things that will simply be nearly impossible to change. The extrovert vs introvert is the classic 'go to' when talking about personality because it's easy to grasp. If you are someone that thrives on being surrounded by people and gains energy from it, you probably aren't going to be able to change your self to be able to gain energy from being alone. As a result, your habits are to go to parties, hang out with your friends whenever you can, go to events with lots of people, etc.
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#10
(2017-07-04, 8:19 am)vix86 Wrote:
(2017-07-04, 3:01 am)datrukup Wrote: What are some things that make personality more than a sum of habits?
Your habits are the result of your personality, not the other way around. There are some things that will simply be nearly impossible to change. The extrovert vs introvert is the classic 'go to' when talking about personality because it's easy to grasp. If you are someone that thrives on being surrounded by people and gains energy from it, you probably aren't going to be able to change your self to be able to gain energy from being alone. As a result, your habits are to go to parties, hang out with your friends whenever you can, go to events with lots of people, etc.

I'm not a professional psychologist, but personality is still more than that. Your habits are just the tip of the iceberg. Your general thinking patterns, how you perceive things, what you like / don't like, how you think about stuff, problem solving, social interactions, how you react in danger, in situations where you need to make very quick decisions, ect. Saying that your habits determine your persoanlity is just wrong. I don't even need to provide a link, or anything, this should be so trivial, if you really thought about it for 2 minutes...
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#11
(2017-07-04, 12:27 pm)Raschaverak Wrote: Saying that your habits determine your persoanlity is just wrong. I don't even need to provide a link, or anything, this should be so trivial, if you really thought about it for 2 minutes...
. . . .

(2017-07-04, 8:19 am)vix86 Wrote: Your habits are the result of your personality, not the other way around.
Let me rephrase that in case in case English isn't your first language.

Quote:Your habits come from your personality. Personality does not come from habits.
It was the first freaking sentence in my post... *annoyed*
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#12
(2017-07-04, 3:19 pm)vix86 Wrote:
(2017-07-04, 12:27 pm)Raschaverak Wrote: Saying that your habits determine your persoanlity is just wrong. I don't even need to provide a link, or anything, this should be so trivial, if you really thought about it for 2 minutes...
. . . .

(2017-07-04, 8:19 am)vix86 Wrote: Your habits are the result of your personality, not the other way around.
Let me rephrase that in case in case English isn't your first language.

Quote:Your habits come from your personality. Personality does not come from habits.
It was the first freaking sentence in my post... *annoyed*

Sorry, let me rephrase what I said, in case... well just in case Tongue
You started talking about introvert-extrovert, I believe personality is still more than that, meaning it's ultimately wrong...
Edited: 2017-07-04, 3:39 pm
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#13
I don't understand what your contention with what vix86 said is, Raschaverak. The two of you seem to be overall agreeing. And I don't think vix86 ever implied that being an introvert, extrovert or anything between in any way would be the sum of someone's personality. He was just bringing it up as an illustrative example of how one personality trait would shape your habits.
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#14
@ Raschaverak:
(2017-07-03, 11:41 am)fkb9g Wrote:
(2017-07-03, 5:12 am)Raschaverak Wrote: This is just one angle, I wonder if I could use Anki, to change my general thoughts about things, ect.
Has anyone ever tried something like this? Any thoughts?

This sounds like cognitive behavioral therapy.

Quoting this to draw attention. Putting aside any philosophical questions about what constitutes personality. If what you are looking for is tested methods for making changes to aspects of yourself then you should be looking in to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
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#15
(2017-07-04, 4:55 pm)Jackdaw Wrote: I don't understand what your contention with what vix86 said is, Raschaverak. The two of you seem to be overall agreeing. And I don't think vix86 ever implied that being an introvert, extrovert or anything between in any way would be the sum of someone's personality. He was just bringing it up as an illustrative example of how one personality trait would shape your habits.

Thanks, at least you get it. *sigh*
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#16
Even aside from the question of how much habits constitute personality, I don't believe anki can effectively modify habits. You need to go deeper than simply reading a sentence and pressing a button to change a habit. To effectively change you habits, you'd need to put yourself in certain situations and practice acting in the desired manner. In other words, you'd need a VR anki srs that loads situations and you answer with actions rather then clicking again, or easy, etc...
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#17
It really depends on the definition of persoanlity.

We have seen children of migrant parents (like army brats) develop a unique king of extroversion, we know that most people confuse shyness with introversion and need for approval with extroversion. All three are a product of habits (moving often thus being forced to reacquaint yourself repeatedly; shyness is often a result of lack of active interaction; neediness is again kind of habitual as others' approval is not equally rewarding to all of us...)

I think that most of what we think of personality is a result of repeated and reinforced habits. There is so little in the individual that cannot be attributed to nurture, though of course the cues and habits that shape our personality tend to be constant and are repeated for years/decades. I've seen plently of people change themselves sinply after being forced or forcing thmselves to change their lifestyle - there's little that you can't adapt to, imo.

That being said, I think anki would just feed your anxiety about other people by making you overthink past interactions instead of rewiring your personality Smile if anything, it's a rather amusing idea to think up! There's a reason why CBT needs a partner to help you think things through though; so long as you are the only member in the equation, I doubt you'll get very far with it.

They have CBT apps these days, so maybe give those a shot?
Edited: 2017-07-11, 8:09 am
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#18
I think doing such a thing in anki is so artificial and removed that it would not have great effect. If you think you have acted incorresctly in certain situations, you need to sit down, consider deeply what you did wrong, how it could've gone better, what you'd do next time etc. Consider what your flaw is - how are you seeing other people and how is this affecting how you're interacting with them? Are you too self-centred so you're not noticing people's feelings or reaching out? Are you too clingy and don't appreciate that people have so many other things on their plate other than you? Once you think deeply and realise how you are viewing situations incorrectly, that can start a paradigm shift that allows you to act better. Things like this are much deeper than something you can drill in anki. You can't drill a personality. You come from your experiences and what you take from them an how you evolve. Even as you try to reflect it won't happen all at once and it may not happen how you have expected.

A tool for long term reflection and holding yourself accountable is a journal. If something happens that you're not totally happy with how you dealed with it, write about it and consider it from a few angles and consider how you could be better. Also write about when you're doing well, acting in alignment with your values. That can help. If you truly have problems in social situations that you want to hand responsibility for "programming" you over to someone else, I would suggest a CBT therapist, a people have said, not anki. I don't really recomend online therapy and apps though because they have been pretty useless to me. Too removed and not professional enough. My self reflection is usually better than apps. Get off your phone.
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