Zgarbas wrote:

The only time when I was intimidated by someone asking me out was that one guy who started crying, begging me to love him and to take his virginity away.

No, make that two times. I don't know if this counts as someone hitting on me(I mean he clearly tried), but this guy once sat next to me in a bar and started making out with my cheek. I'm fairly sure he didn't realize that he missed. Creeped me out completely.

Ah wait, there was also that one guy who followed me around town after I said I wasn't interested, asking passerbys to help me change my mind... maybe I have a knack for finding these guys?

please don't be like these guys

I think the worst part is that it probably wasnt the first or last time those guys tried that and it probably worked on at least one for them to even try.

@Donald I am sorry that happened to you. Similar things happened  to me when I was slightly younger and I think the lack of sympathy I received led me to become the unhappy, socially awkward, unbalanced and deeply flawed individual I am today.

I have no idea how to approach girls and  know I have inadvertently terrified several.

I am actually against the idea of nampa from what I understand of it.

she's in an ethical dilemma, not you.

nadiatims wrote:

she's in an ethical dilemma, not you.

She's already made it clear she's willing to cheat (pretty vividly :p), so it's up to me really.

dizmox wrote:

No girl who moves in with a guy then acts like that can be awesome in any sense of the word.

good call.

dizmox wrote:

No girl who moves in with a guy then acts like that can be awesome in any sense of the word.

I was thinking the same thing (she's a pretty awful girlfriend), but she *is* a joy to be around.

Anyway, I don't want to do anything rash, I think I'll just friend zone her for a while.

Last edited by thecite (2012 May 21, 6:38 pm)

I would take a slightly different route and say that if she is willing to do that then A) the guy must be a loser for being so mushy with this girl who obviously doesn't like him that much. B) if she doesn't cheat on him with you she will probably cheat on him with someone else, soon, and C) she may very well be fantastic, if only on a physical level...

All of that comes together to tell me that you should sleep with her and not regret it at all, but simply feel a little pity for that loser that is dating this awful woman. It's not your fault that she's an awful human being inside a beautiful casing.

Tzadeck wrote:

I would do what I always do in this situation:
1)Decide that the right thing to do is take the high ground and keep it on a friendship level.
2)Get drunk and sleep with her by mistake.
3)Realize that it's always a bad idea to sleep with someone who has a boyfriend.
4)Regret it.

クソワロタwwww

I've heard of this type of situation (being invited on a date with someone who is brazenly willing to cheat) a lot since I've come to Japan.  Compared to America, it seems like there are a lot of Japanese people who are willing to cheat on their significant other.  There also seem to be a lot of people dating who don't actually like each other or want to be around each other (I'm thinking mostly of rich guys dating ギャルズ).  Has anyone else noticed this?

I really hope I don't end up dating a girl that would cheat on me, especially so readily :-\

Last edited by partner55083777 (2012 May 22, 2:33 am)

poor man.

dtcamero wrote:

I would take a slightly different route and say that if she is willing to do that then A) the guy must be a loser for being so mushy with this girl who obviously doesn't like him that much. B) if she doesn't cheat on him with you she will probably cheat on him with someone else, soon, and C) she may very well be fantastic, if only on a physical level...

All of that comes together to tell me that you should sleep with her and not regret it at all, but simply feel a little pity for that loser that is dating this awful woman. It's not your fault that she's an awful human being inside a beautiful casing.

He's actually quite handsome, and from what I've heard sounds like a pretty nice guy.
I don't think she cheats very often, if at all, we just got along really well.

Anyway, I think I'll keep on looking; I wouldn't mind just finding a steady girlfriend and focussing on study for a while.

@HonyakuJosh
That's quite an extreme example. If anything physical is nonconsentual, then it's sexual harassment or worse. Likewise, there's a huge difference if it's happening right before your eyes. I didn't elaborate on my position because I just don't have the time to deal with every possible scenario.

However, let me emphasize that do not I think everyone needs to choose to have open relationships (although, I still stand by my claim that possessiveness is usually motivated by jealousy and feelings of inadequacy). In fact, my own relationship is strictly monogamous, and has been for over three years. However, I have no justification to accuse people of immorality if they're okay with physical contact outside of their relationships, especially since it seems like a much more sensible position given human sexuality and my reasons above.

Last edited by vileru (2012 May 22, 4:27 am)

Erm, just my two cents on this but...
Look, if you're in an open relationship, poly or monogamous then that's fine. My problem is when people fail to communicate this to their partners. Kissing another man when you're in an established monogamous relationship is a breach of trust, regardless of how "open" society is to this. It's cheating, and it's wrong, plain and simple. Be it lack of communication or of morality (not that polyamory is a morality issue, but cheating a partner's trust is one), there's something very wrong with that.

When you're talking about the difference between fooling around and true feelings, you're talking an open relationship. If your partner is unaware that your relationship is open then there's a problem and covering it with BS excuses like "oh my god I'm so open because I separate sex from love" is just sleazy and dumb.

V I got the link, but amazon.jp is a no-go