kendo99 wrote:
Yonosa, I don't really have qualms about the dishonesty so much, although in retro-spect it makes a lousy situation lousier. But, as others have pointed out, you would possibly be breaking laws, damaging her reputation, etc for a situation essentially caused by jumping into bed with someone without finding out first what their expectations for the relationship were. And I'm not ragging on the guy. But he's more in the bad than she is here. Probably more from ignorance/not thinking the situation through than harboring any actual malicious intent.
But, still... He dated a student, let the relationship get intimate, without making his own expectations/intentions known from the start. It's a learning experience. I had a bunch of them in my teens and early twenties. So, I can't really stand by the stuff I typed earlier without giving any serious thought to what I was saying. It's bad advice, plain and simple, and an honest approach with full acceptance of the consequences is going to be in the poster's best self-interest in the long run. Legally, emotionally and ethically.
Oh, no i am not talking in direct support of what that earlier post had suggested. I am jut saying that sometimes dihonesty is better for everyone. But in this situation, unless there was some clause not to date students or you will be fired then I probably would just be like yo, you're a bit too zealous for me so I'm gonna call it quits on this. But if my job depended on it there is a decent chance I would find some dishonest way to keep my job and lose the girl, and I guess that's just me being honest, although I would try to find a way in which noone is shamed by the situation. But likely the woman might try to play revenge games or something, and in that case since I wouldnt qualm too much over just trying to keep my job and get out of the situation even if she would be somewhat hurt over it.
***Most importantly, everyone here seems to suggest that the guy did something wrong here?! Unless there is some clause that states he should not date students at his school than he has not done anything wrond. Also, even if such clause existed the only thing he has done wrong is to break a part of his contract at which point he would have to consider some action to resolve the conflict at work or find new employment. Matters that would only be between him and his employer. But when it comes to just the relationship aspect of it from my opinion I doubt that the woman was talking about marriage and other things until after their night together, and that would likely be when the man became uncomfortable. I highly doubt he had openly suggested such ideas to her before their night together, or in order to have a night together, in most situations talking about such things would guarantee a man to not get the woman imo.
So assuming he did not suggest these ideas or ideas of a long term relationship to her, then up to that point their night together was seen as mutually beneficial, they both enjoyed each others company together and decided to be intimate. To say that the man had malice intentions from the start is incorrect even if his intentions were only to have sex with the girl, if his opinions had been that she had been open to the idea and also saw it as mutually beneficial than he can not be judged wrong from the beginning. ALso from the girl's perspective if the information had not been shared of his intentions for just a short term relationship and she had assumed something else, than both of the individuals were acting in order to satisfy their own needs with the information they had available at that point before they became intimate.
Although afterwards their opinions may have changed and they would have preferred to not have done what they did the night prior, the fact still stands that 2 consenting adults made rational decisions with what they believed to be accurate information. So in my opinions its alright, it's just unfortunate that it turns out that their presumptions were a bit inaccurate haha. But then again if lies were told and one person's thinking was manipulated by falsehoods than I think someone made themselves a bit of a unfair profit, but then again that's how free market capitalism should ideally be instead of how our corrupt corporate government guaranteed monopoly system is... wait, what am I talking about again...
Edited by 風: Added line breaks
Last edited by Yonosa (2010 April 04, 9:24 am)
At any rate, I removed my references to the deleted post. 
