domokun1134
Member
From: Staten Island NY
Registered: 2009-11-10
Posts: 70
3 different ways to say "You". I notice all 3 used in anime, with おまえ seeming to be the most common, and "あなた？" being used to say like "what about you?"
Which ones are correct to use in different situations? I've heard that あなた is considered rude.
You rarely use "you" in Japanese. People tend to be referred to by either their name or their position. It's actually kind of considered rude, and hopefully you'll soon understand why.
あなた -- is the most polite form of 'you" but sometimes has a connotation of familiarity. I've heard it translated as "Darling" in some places. If you absolutely have to use the pronoun "you", this would be your safest bet.
きみ (君） is typically used when talking to children and among men, who tend to speak more roughly (the whole 私 vs. 僕 vs. 俺 thing). It definitely places the speaker in a "higher" position than the listener. I'm not sure if you'd hear this in the workplace with a boss talking to a subordinate. Perhaps. A point of interest, the kanji for きみ is the same for くん, as in 田中君（たなかーくん）, which is used in place of さん.
お前 is a really rough you and I'd be very surprised if you heard it in polite conversation. It's typically used by those rough young men when speaking casually among themselves. I'd really try to refrain from using this, as it could get you in trouble.
手前/てめえ is an even rougher form of "you," and one you should probably not try to use.
Last edited by bluemarigolds (2009 December 21, 9:50 am)
Ben_Nielson
Member
From: Japan
Registered: 2008-12-19
Posts: 164
Yeah, I had a kind of awful misunderstanding with the usage of きみ. After dating my girlfriend for a while, I started using "きみ" in conversation quite often. I thought it was a term of endearment more than anything.
Anyway, I used it for a few weeks and then my girlfriend kinda got really upset about it one day. I guess it was really, really grating on her nerves. She said it felt really cold when I referred to her like that, like I was talking to a stranger or something. I was really surprised, as I thought there was quite a bit of warmth in it (just knowing that it was used by boyfriends to their girlfriends sometimes, I guess I assumed this). I didn't really pick up on the nuance. She was pretty upset about it. Looking back on it, I guess she calls me by name - every time. And of course, in awesome Japanese fashion, she held it in until she about exploded over what could've been solved by just saying "Um, don't call me that" the first time I said it. 
Usage of the "you" pronoun in Japanese bothers me like crazy. Today I got my hair cut and I didn't know the guy's name, but we were having a decent conversation. But everytime I had to ask him about himself, I'd run into the problem of how to address him. Just surprisingly awkward, seeing as how simplistic it should be. heh... Every time I say "あなたは" it is like grating fingernails on chalkboard. I guess I should get into the habit of asking people's names more...and actually remembering it when they tell me. 
One last note, I hear お前 constantly in high schools in conversation between students.
Last edited by Ben_Nielson (2009 December 21, 12:07 pm)
Tzadeck
Member
From: Kinki
Registered: 2009-02-21
Posts: 2484
I call my girlfriend by her name, but actually I'm a little unsure if I need to add something after it like さん or ちゃん. Sometimes I use both of them, and sometimes just her name. She hasn't said anything about it, haha. I feel like さん sounds distant, but nothing might sound rude. And ちゃん seems too cutesy for me.
I've read that both きみ and あなた are used with guys to their girlfriends. People already mentioned about きみ. I hear that あなた sounds feminine coming from a guy, but it makes the girl feel equal and hopefully comfortable. Anybody know anything about this?
With friends, people in Kansai seem to use お前 a lot more than Kanto-ites (but this might just be because I'm around high school kids all day). Especially if they're joking arund in a ぼけ つっこみ type-a way.
Last edited by Tzadeck (2009 December 22, 7:02 am)
Tobberoth
Member
From: Sweden
Registered: 2008-08-25
Posts: 3364
I refer to my girlfriend by name, or egi-ya, which means baby in Korean. When I call her by name, I don't use any suffix, but if I was dating a Japanese girl, I would possibly use chan, at least if she was younger.
As for the situations where you HAVE to use "you": 90% of the time, you don't. Pretty much every sentence which needs "you" in English can be rephrased in Japanese to exclude it, and this is a skill well worth training.
An extra thing: One of my Japanese teachers often refers to us students as あんた. I'm annoyed by it, but she's Japanese so I'm guessing she doesn't feel it's all that bad, but I think it sounds horrible.
