This reminds me of a Vietnamese joke I heard once. I always chuckle when I read this. Something that makes perfect sense in one language can make absolutely no sense in another. The below is pretty much a direct translation.

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A vietnamese woman called 911 and said that her husband physically abused her. A police officer came to her apartment and wrote the report. She does not speak much English therefore, word by word, the Policeman carefully wrote down every single thing the Vietnamese woman told him. Later a Vietnamese guy translated the report to Vietnamese.

- My husband threats hit see my mother so many times
- Ông chồng tôi hâm đánh thấy mẹ tôi đã nhiều lần

- But today he out hand hit me see my grandmother 
- Nhưng hôm nay ổng ra tay đánh tôi thấy mụ nội tôi luôn

- Everyday, I make cow cakes, pig skin cakes for him 
- Ngày nào, tôi cũng làm bánh bò, bánh da lợn cho ổng ăn

- But he told me that I don't know how to make any handicapped pants 
- Nhưng ông bảo rằng tôi không biết làm cái quần què gì hết

- Day and night, I only know how to watch ship movies 
- Ngày và đêm, tôi chỉ biết coi phim tàu mà thôi

- He said "I am sky horse"
- Ông ấy bảo "tôi là đồ thứ ngựa trời"

- Everyday, I bring I disagree go hit cards eat money with a bunch of female horses in the neighborhood
- Ngày nào, tôi cũng xách đít đi đánh bài ăn tiền với mấy con ngựa cái ở xóm

- He forbids me to bring those female ghosts home no more
- Ổng cấm tôi mang mấy con quỹ cái đó đến nhà nữa

- Because they have too many stories and like say ugly people different
- Vì họ nhiều chuyện và thích nói xấu người khác

- My husband thinks he is delicious!
- Ông chồng tôi tưởng ổng ngon lắm!

- His friends are a bunch of buffalo heads and horse faces
- Bạn của ổng toàn là bọn đầu trâu mặt ngựa

- Everyday they bring their empty asses to my house eat, drink, play guitar and fart everywhere
- Ngày nào họ cũng xách đít không đến nhà tôi ăn, nhậu, đàn địt um xùm

- I testicle him go out the street and the truck run over break his head roll to the walk side with the eyes still blinking
- Tối dái cho ổng có ngày ra đường bị xe cam nhông cán đứt đầu lăng vô lề mà hai con mắt còn chớp chớp.

- He angry and hit me
- Ổng giận giữ và đánh tôi

A backup police calls the policeman and asks if everything is ok.

The policeman said, "Man, you should have heard this crazy woman. If I were her husband I would beat the hell out of her too"

Hahaha! I had trouble breathing from laughing

In general I try to avoid sex-slang as though it were the ebola virus, personally. I remember when I was still unpracticed in figuring out which English phrases were literal, etc: the first time I heard a phrase like "donkey punch" I just got this mental image of a donkey with boxing gloves on its hooves, kicking the crap out of some innocent bystander.

as far as I know the corresponding term to マグロ女  in english is referred to as someone just laying there "starfish".

Whats with all these marine related terms? lollll... tuna woman. Stilllll soooooo funny.

http://trueslant.com/hivemind/files/200 … n-tuna.jpg

hhahahahahahahahah. Just picture it.

Last edited by mezbup (2009 October 14, 12:52 am)

mezbup wrote:

as far as I know the corresponding term to マグロ女  in english is referred to as someone just laying there "starfish".

Whats with all these marine related terms? lollll... tuna woman. Stilllll soooooo funny.

http://trueslant.com/hivemind/files/200 … n-tuna.jpg

hhahahahahahahahah. Just picture it.

Me and my german friend in Tokyo would always refer to women who just lie in bed and do nothing as dead fish.

マグロ女 haha, beautiful.

The VN's one is a total joke, but still funny.  IMO, the funniest Vietnamese jokes involve spoonerism and can't be translated at all. One I told the other day:

B: bạn có tên VN không?
S: có chớ, tên là Nam Phong.
B: biết Nam Phong nghĩa là gì kô?
S: biết chớ, Nam là miền nam, phong là gió.. gió từ miền nam là gió nóng phài kô?
B: khkhkh, hay quá
S: mà có tên khác luôn.. là Phong Nhỉ
B: Phong là gió... Nhỉ là... tai ? gió tai ?? tên kỳ quá.
S: Hehe, gió tai là giái to ! khkhk Nam Phong Nhỉ đây

jacf29 wrote:

Ryuujin27 wrote:

This term is actually used quite frequently. I had one of my friends point out a girl at a party and call her a マグロ, and the definition here is exactly what he told me when I politely asked what the hell he was talking about.

It was a "lol" worthy moment.

I think thats because most of the women in Japan are indeed dead fish (at least as far as Tokyo goes).  I am hoping for more alive women in Osaka.

Well then it's time they learned.

jacf29 wrote:

Ryuujin27 wrote:

This term is actually used quite frequently. I had one of my friends point out a girl at a party and call her a マグロ, and the definition here is exactly what he told me when I politely asked what the hell he was talking about.

It was a "lol" worthy moment.

I think thats because most of the women in Japan are indeed dead fish (at least as far as Tokyo goes).  I am hoping for more alive women in Osaka.

5 Million women in Tokyo. How many did you have sex with to reach a statistical reasonable conclusion?

Wait, wait. There's always the peeping tom route to remove oneself as a variable.

mezbup wrote:

Too bad cos there's some really cute ones. Everytime maguro comes up in reviews or new cards I instantly think of its other connotation. Haha.

There are normal ones.  I have been with good ones before.