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Love in Japan...
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bodhisamaya wrote:
kazelee wrote:
bodhisamaya wrote:
From my superficial observation of Japanese media, it seems the most popular female heart-throbs are cute and feminine looking. The same appears to be true for the guys. Johnny Depp is a thousand times more popular in Japan than in the US. If I were to stumble into a male Host Club drunk at night, I might easily fall in love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EURNpbsdw1cThink I may be falling in love with Issei too :-*
You are doing it sober clearly seeing they are guys
They're guys!? Wait, the video was blurry. The voices were distorted. They had had chick hair! That's gotta count for something right!? RIGHT!!?
Shit, what does this mean!? Dear god help me!
*goes to dark corner and ponders sexuality*
aijin wrote:
people always tend to be more attracted to their own ethnicity in general.
More attracted to or more comfortable with due to social pressures?
Which means, the vast majority of Japanese women are mostly comfortable with Japanese men, and feel more relationship-prone to these men. That is not to say that they wouldn't date a westerner, or that they don't think westerners are attractive. It's just that in Japan we're constantly surrounded by people of our own ethnicity, and naturally we feel much more comfortable dating fellow Japanese than dating westerners. There isn't the wide variety of races like you have in America, where people are much more comfortable dating outside their race (and why shouldn't they be!)
Nice save. 
Girls who actively seek only foreigners to date though...I don't know, I haven't met many of them, but they're definitely out there. I think it's absolutely silly to only want to date a certain ethnicity, but that's just me.
Right with you on that one.
I have to take offense at the remark that Japanese girls are more disloyal than American women...
You could see it as being more honest with themselves. 
There are many girls everywhere who are going to be extremely loyal and devotedly in love with the right guy.
I'm gonna stop here.
bodhisamaya wrote:
I always wondered...
Why do Japanese women always get their picture taken eating food (usually お菓子)? Is it just to kind of say, "Look at me eating all this food, yet only 3% body fat. Eat your heart out all you girls working out to Billy`s BootCamp !!!" ?
It's a subconscious trigger. You unknowingly associate whatever food being eaten with with wide eyes and puffy cheeks.
Jarvik7 wrote:
This reminds me of a story my (Japanese) gf told me earlier today.
One of her friends had 3 boyfriends going at once, until she decided that she didn't love any of them so she dumped them all and got 2 more boyfriends.
o_O
That's fukt.
captal wrote:
I met a girl for an English lesson a couple years ago and she told me she had cheated on her boyfriend. "Do you think that means I didn't really love him," she asked me.
I wasn't sure how to respond to that one...
"Why don't we have a go to make sure?" I'd say were I a smooth talking ladies man. "Of course" What I'd probably say in an ideal reality. "You cunt" What I'd surely be thinking.
bodhisamaya wrote:
All men/women of every culture (if given the chance) cheat at some point. Except for the gf/wife/bf/husband of the people reading this thread of course. It is not immoral. It is just the way we have evolved and flourished.
I watched a documentary on this type of bird scientists thought was the only example in nature of animals being monogamous with one partner their whole lives. Upon further observation, they noticed the female birds would listen to the neighboring male birds sing the night before. Then early the next morning before their male partner awoke, they would fly away and mate with the male with the nicest song. They found a life partner that built the best nest and then mated with the bird with the nicest song to produce strong offspring. Sound familiar サラリーマン?
There are no examples of monogamy in the animal world. It would hinder evolution. Thinking humans are somehow different is not realistic.
No excuses!
Seriously though, If I knew you were gonna post this, I would not have bothered censoring my more than somewhat cynical remarks. LOL. That whore!
dat5h wrote:
I remember reading that studies show an inverse relationship between cheating and gene sharing. In other words, they saw a trend that cheating (including just thinking about it) was less likely if a couple were genetically dissimilar or far apart genetically. Anybody have a copy of this, I couldn't find it again. I think it was on Scientific American
Makes sense actually.
Long post composed of small pieces of longer posts that aren't as long as this post combined!
Last edited by kazelee (2009 July 15, 1:03 am)
bodhisamaya wrote:
It is not immoral. It is just the way we have evolved and flourished.
...
There are no examples of monogamy in the animal world. It would hinder evolution. Thinking humans are somehow different is not realistic.
But how do you explain that to someone who doesn't want to share you? And are you ok with your partners being shared as well? What if another guy impregnated your girlfriend or gave her an STD- how would that feel?
If we were animals, we wouldn't care and we'd just deal with it, but we're not- we are sentient, thinking beings. Evolution may have gotten us here, but we've already halted evolution anyway with advances in medicine. The weak no longer die off, and the strong tend to produce only a couple offspring anyway.
You mentioned you are open and honest with your (former?) girlfriend- and if that's the case, and she accepts it, then it's no problem in my opinion. Not sure how many girls really want to accept that kind of situation though. Most want security, loyalty and monogomy.
Believe me, I'd love to have a harem of women just for the variety 
(spice of life and all)
captal wrote:
Jarvik7 wrote:
It's hard to meet people in Japan (unless you already know people in Japan who can introduce you).
+1
Not sure if it has to do with high population density though- it's a problem in all of Japan, not just the big cities.
Japan (and East-Asian cultures in general) make it even worse with the uchi/soto concept yeah.
That's not to say it's impossible to meet people. If you goto a university in Japan you should have some luck. I had girls 告白 me a couple times at jp-uni, but unfortunately I wasn't single I also made a lot of friends there.
Last edited by Jarvik7 (2009 July 15, 1:40 am)
captal wrote:
bodhisamaya wrote:
It is not immoral. It is just the way we have evolved and flourished.
...
There are no examples of monogamy in the animal world. It would hinder evolution. Thinking humans are somehow different is not realistic.But how do you explain that to someone who doesn't want to share you? And are you ok with your partners being shared as well? What if another guy impregnated your girlfriend or gave her an STD- how would that feel?
If we were animals, we wouldn't care and we'd just deal with it, but we're not- we are sentient, thinking beings. Evolution may have gotten us here, but we've already halted evolution anyway with advances in medicine. The weak no longer die off, and the strong tend to produce only a couple offspring anyway.
You mentioned you are open and honest with your (former?) girlfriend- and if that's the case, and she accepts it, then it's no problem in my opinion. Not sure how many girls really want to accept that kind of situation though. Most want security, loyalty and monogomy.
Believe me, I'd love to have a harem of women just for the variety
When I was a University student 20 years ago, my first love was working out at the gym. I would spend 4 hours a day, 7 days a week there.
I came from a very poor family and so had to work while attending school to cover living expenses even though I was on scholarship. On the advise of a friend, I started stripping at parties rather than flipping burgers at a fast-food joint. This led to several sexual encounters with women from those parties. Most of the women I received sexual advances from were married. I was given clear warning this was a one time thing and advised never to contact them. Yet very few of them asked me to wear a condom. This was before DNA testing could prove paternity. Strangely enough, they would talk to me about their husbands in a very positive and loving manner. I kind of felt that all women must cheat if even these women who claimed they loved their husbands were cheating.
Ever since then, I have never asked a gf to be monogamous with me. I only ask for honesty. I never tell a gf I will be monogamous to her. I explain I will be as honest as she is strong enough to accept.
Jarvik7 wrote:
There is of course nanpa, but I don't think I'd want a serious relationship with any girl who would date a stranger based on some nanpa line and nice clothes.
Stop being so close-minded!
「BTW I'm lurking on this thread because I'm bored at school and don't want to study. Someone lend me some motivation... as a side note- I picked up that book you recommended a few weeks back Jarvik- ２級文法- blue cover, 4 languages. Pretty good- easier to go through than the kanzen books.」
captal wrote:
Stop being so close-minded!
I never said no to random-hookups though (Not that I've ever been single while in Japan)
Kanzen Master is mind numbingly boring. Matome covers less material, but it's still more than enough for JLPT2 though.
Jarvik7 wrote:
captal wrote:
Stop being so close-minded!
I never said no to random-hookups though
Random-hookups in Tokyo are like shooting fish in a barrel if you want them. Though I didn't do a very good job when I stayed for two months as I was sticking to nice girls that I met. My favorite quote was about Muse (the club in Roppongi)- "You can't lose at Muse." Haha.
Yeah, sometimes I regret not going after random hookups while I was in jp university. Especially since I'm no longer with the gf I was dating at the time. Even turned down gyaku-nanpa several times. 
