@TheTrueBlue,
You, ah, may have missed the humorous nature of my post.
The joke was also on how silly an indirect anything is, not that it's gross to reuse water.

(Meanwhile: breastfeeding, past a certain age, is, in fact, creepy as hell.)

Last night, I had a 液

Thora wrote:

OK... can I bump Mr TrueBlue off the group therapy couch for a moment and give you my criteria for a man?

-6'2
-black
-former body builder
-pianist (ah piano player)
-interested in Japan
-artist
-can type with his toes
-will worship me and call me his 'superior'.

Do you think I'm mad?

Not sure about the typing with toes, but everything else seems doable, if rare and difficult to find (all of them at once that is). Good luck.

Thora wrote:

OK... can I bump Mr TrueBlue off the group therapy couch for a moment and give you my criteria for a man?

-6'2
-black
-former body builder

need to specify weather he still keeps in shape, a lot of former body builders I've known let themselves go quite a bit... at least for a while.

Thora wrote:

-pianist (ah piano player)

Classical, Jazz, etc?

Thora wrote:

-interested in Japan
-artist

What kind of art?

Thora wrote:

-can type with his toes

Word speed? 40, 60, 90, 120? does it matter?

Thora wrote:

-will worship me and call me his 'superior'.

Do you think I'm mad?

No, where to start your search though... I'm not sure. Does he also have to be a virgin?

Thora wrote:

OK... can I bump Mr TrueBlue off the group therapy couch for a moment and give you my criteria for a man?

-6'2
-black
-former body builder
-pianist (ah piano player)
-interested in Japan
-artist
-can type with his toes
-will worship me and call me his 'superior'.

Do you think I'm mad?

Perhaps kazelee can draft you a decapitated eyeless zombie prototype.

Thora wrote:

OK... can I bump Mr TrueBlue off the group therapy couch for a moment and give you my criteria for a man?

-6'2
-black
-former body builder
-pianist (ah piano player)
-interested in Japan
-artist
-can type with his toes
-will worship me and call me his 'superior'.

Do you think I'm mad?

Aren't you male? Is this yet another gender-discovery moment in this thread or am I just crazy?

Also, don't you think a worthier ability would be typing with his nostril hairs? Presuming you find nostril hairs sexy, of course (but doesn't everyone?!)

QuackingShoe wrote:

blackmacros wrote:

Aren't you male? Is this yet another gender-discovery moment in this thread or am I just crazy?

I... I don't want to fall into a trap. But I.. I genuinely can't tell if you're joking or not.

I mean, Thora?

(Now you have no hope of telling if this is all just an elaborate mindfuck)

Thora wrote:

OK... can I bump Mr TrueBlue off the group therapy couch for a moment and give you my criteria for a man?

-6'2
-black
-former body builder
-pianist (ah piano player)
-interested in Japan
-artist
-can type with his toes
-will worship me and call me his 'superior'.

Do you think I'm mad?

もう我慢できなく

優しくてちょっと狂くて頭のいい先輩、好きだぁぁぁぁ。凄く好きだぁぁぁぁぁ。最も好きだぁぁぁ。

KWarrior wrote:

No, where to start your search though... I'm not sure. Does he also have to be a virgin?

でも。あの、実は、これは、初めてです。　ｆ（＾＾；）

恥ずかしいけど、これ、どこ、こんなもの、いや、すべて、教えてくれ。

QS wrote:

She's looking your way, Kazelee. Move move move!

何何々

J7 wrote:

Perhaps kazelee can draft you a decapitated eyeless zombie prototype.

With freckles

KW wrote:

need to specify weather he still keeps in shape, a lot of former body builders I've known let themselves go quite a bit... at least for a while.

She wouldn't hold the stretch marks on my ass against me, would she?

*retreats to deep corner of mind*

歌が聞こえる。こんな物です「trip trot trip trot」

Last edited by kazelee (2009 July 19, 10:24 pm)

IceCream wrote:

True Blue, rrrrrrrrr i really didn't want to continue this conversation, which is why i said you shouldn't feel the need to reply, but, i'd like you to at least understand the things i'm saying to you, before i give up, because your reply shows me that you don't.

Very well, I will read what you wrote with great interest. And thank you very much, for being patient with me. If indeed there's something I really need to change, then I should like to know what it is and why. But I can't guarantee that anything will happen.

IceCream wrote:

Lots of people have tried to give you advice, theres been loads of sound things said by lots of people. I have never tried to convince you that you're goals aren't worth pursuing - that's not even what i think! i'm pretty sure i've said many things along those lines to you. What i am trying to do, is to help you look at yourself and your reasons for wanting the specific things you want in a logical way, which might help you gain perspective that will make your overall goal easier to sustain.

Ok. That certainly sounds appealing. Thank you very much.

IceCream wrote:

If I asked you "why do you like the taste of your favorite food" If science was really good enough, you might be able to give a different answer. But, lets assume it can't.

It could, but ok, I'll pretend that it can't.  (Not saying it supplies the right answer, but that it has a reasonable one)

IceCream wrote:

Then the only answer you could give would turn out to be something like "because it tastes good". You could say, "because it has just the right amount of salt", but really, all that means is that you like how that amount of salt tastes. Hence, self referential.

Ok. Roger that. Self-referential.

IceCream wrote:

IceCream wrote:

* So then lets see if we could take this further. Why do I prefer it to feel like my life has meaning, or that i'm fulfilled in some way? Well, i really can't think of an answer to this that isn't in some sense self-referential.

TheTrueBlue wrote:

Not sure what you mean here. Human beings and social behaviors are communal for many possible reasons. Many theories of which, collectivism, tribalism, etc. have been published.

I literally have no idea what you are talking about here, or why it would be relevent.

I'm saying that I prefer my life to have meaning, but that science has a reason for that. I'm not just doing whatever my gut tells because of tastes or preferences, it may be biologically coded or something of that.

But if you mean that because I like my life to have meaning, then I know what my life having meaning feels like = self-referential, then yes, I'm following.

IceCream wrote:

Well, if life didn't feel meaningful it would suck right? If nothing that you did in the world felt like it had meaning, then you simply wouldn't want to live. There would be no point in living at all. So the preference that your life is meaningful is based on the preference that you live. But, the preference that you live is based on the preference that your life has meaning.

Not completely, but certainly having substanial meaning in one's life is terribly important. I'm following.

IceCream wrote:

So, we've finally come to the end of the chain, and can start analysing from there.
Meaning and the sense of fulfillment is what it's all about.

Ok.

IceCream wrote:

At this point, you totally gloss over the most important passage in the whole thing I wrote.

Well if I did, I'm sorry and I didn't mean to do it on purpose.

IceCream wrote:

Your response:

TheTrueBlue wrote:

I agree, looking for love in Japan is far from my only goal in life, just one of the most important ones right now. (And don't say this is a straw man argument, I acknowledge and agree with your point, and then give some other information, not to deny your point, because FFS I AGREE WITH IT. But just, if nothing else, to say I live by but I believe, which is what I agreed with you on here.

Well, 1stly, i'm not really sure what your last sentence means. I'm not sure this is a straw man argument, but it's strongly clear to me that you haven't understood what I said at all, and therefore cannot agree, or disagree, with what I said. And if i'm wrong and you do understand, then, unfortunately, you disagree with me.
The following quote, which you make later on, further reconfirms it.

I'm saying that I agree having many goals are important, and that I further believe myself to be an example of this trait.

IceCream wrote:

Here's my original passage:
So, if all that's true, why do I think the preference for someone else needing you is a bad thing?

Ok. I'll read it again.

IceCream wrote:

Well, to tell the truth, i think its a naive misconception of what, in real life, actually gives life meaning. After a long hard process of thinking waaaaay too much, i've come to the conclusion that most people seem to know within them and act on all the time.

Most people seem to know what gives life meaning within them and act on it. Ok.

IceCream wrote:

It's that meaning comes, not from anyone else, or from attaining your goals, but the constant process of trying to attain them - the experience itself. It comes through actually DOING things in the world, and not thinking about them. Meaning is not a "thing" to be attained, through any material things at all. It's a way of feeling that exists only when you're not observing it. As soon as you try to observe it, the meaning drops out of the world, and you're left cold.

Ok, your assertion is that meaning is coming from the process and is not an object to be sought. That trying to "observe" it, which I will take to mean "purposely seeking to acquire it while presuming that it is an acquirable object" will result in loss and emotional distress.

IceCream wrote:

Can you see, there's some very obvious incongruities between what you are saying, and what I am saying? Im at a total loss to see what you are possibly agreeing to.
If you can't, let me know, and we can discuss it further.

I was agreeing that many goals and the pursuit of those goals are important in life, and that fixating on any one goal is unhealthy. Further that one shouldn't invest all of one's hope for a meaningful life into one specific goal.

If my 2nd run through of your writing is more congruent with what you intended, please let me know.

IceCream wrote:

This shows more maturity than you have previously, and i think thats great.

Thanks, I thought you were going to try and spank me next as a "7 year old kid" or something. o.o

IceCream wrote:

If you suddenly told her she would live for another 100 years, she might feel differently. In the same way as someone's husband who dies young often finds a new husband.

Yes, a definite possibility.

IceCream wrote:

In a young couple, you are not necessary for each other's existence.

You mean in a "healthy young couple" right? Presuming that being overly-needy is still being recognized as "unhealthy." Still, as danieldesu, Aijin, and others have written and I also do believe, almost anyone can love anyone given the right cirucmstances.

If time can "mend the heart" of almost all young widows/widowers as I do believe and agree that it can, then it is what it is.

IceCream wrote:

IceCream wrote:

She will remain distant from you in so many ways.

TheTrueBlue wrote:

You don't know that. Sure spouses keep things from each other, but I disagree that you or anyone else, based on experience or know-how have some prognosticative ability to determine my future in this regard. Sorry.

This is a straw man. I wasn't talking about her purposely concealing anything from you. Just that she will remain an individual person, who doesn't really honestly need you. I'm not trying to be telepathic here, it's just fairly obvious. You won't be able to see in her mind. You won't know who she really is, even if you experience every single thing with her for the first time. Another person is always just that - another person. They change, and think and do unexpected things. They always will have a certain distance from you, by nature of the fact that they are not you.

Sorry, I didn't equate her "remain[ing] distant" = being an individual. I misunderstood based on my own intrepretation of the language used. I.e. distant = cold, unconnected, out-of-touch with one-another, uncommunicative, uncaring, etc. すみません。

IceCream wrote:

If i've said irellevent things, please tell me again the reasons why you consider sex with a virgin a "high ideal" or "expecting the best" from yourself.

? This sounds like an unrelated question. But what I don't recall referring specifically to a virgin as a "high ideal" or "expecting the best."

Rather what I meant was that if I could choose, I would rather have someone with a similiar amount of experience. It will take more effort on my part, or I can just slack off and settle for whoever. One ostensibly requires me to apply more of myself than the other, because I'm going for a goal that requires more effort to attain.(Going to Japan, etc.) My best would be applying myself to the fullest of my abilities towards gaining my goals.

If I've understood your point about meaning as a process and not an object to be sought and attained, please let me know.

This is part of the reason why I wrote about my other goals earlier, because I believe I caught on (but didn't think of it as a main point) that the process of living is very important in living a meaningful life. I think that finding this girl will bring meaning into my life. After (Gods willing) that, I have other goals to go for.

But your assertion is that rather than those singular points or events bringing meaning, it's far more likely to be the process of living while getting there.

Furthermore, that if your theory that the process is what gives most of the meaning to living, then my hopes regarding the specific characteristics of this girl are unimportant, because the process of getting there will be far more meaningful.

Is this what you're trying to communicate? If not, I don't want to digest a mis-interpretation any further. Please let me know how on-target I am.

Last edited by TheTrueBlue (2009 July 20, 12:13 am)

This thread is pretty hilarious....


I hope TrueBlue buys his ticket to Japan months in advance and then falls in love with a girl in NY 1 month before he leaves.


Haha, but seriously Blue....you need to relax a little bit.

People have already talked about that "people can fall in love with anyone" type stuff, so I don't want to stress that part exactly, but I think how you're going about this will have a negative impact on your relationships. You seem so concerned about finding that right girl or that the girl has to have all of these qualifications you put forth that you might pass that right one up!

Someone you meet might not seem like your ideal type and it might even go against with a lot of the stuff you said in this thread, but you can still be swept off of your feet. The most important thing will be the connection and bonding you share.

Stop worrying about planning, analyzing, and justifying everything. The human mind is a great thing, but the heart is a wonderful thing that should be used sometimes too~

IceCream wrote:

Don't slack off and settle for whoever!! Finding someone who you can truly love, and who can complement your character and who you can be happy with, and want to share your life with is a really hugely difficult thing to do. Don't underestimate it!

Truly. Which is why I'm putting in lots of thought, resources, and planning into it. To better my odds of success in any ways possible.

IceCream wrote:

Yeah, that's exactly what I mean!

Bwahahah! Behold the power of Internet communications! Magical series of tubes.

IceCream wrote:

No. Because it's not only in the process of getting there that meaning is found, but the process of being there, and the process of being-there-while-being-in-the-process-of-getting-somewhere-else. And so on.

But not so much the objects themselves... but the objects themselves can grant goals as well... Perhaps giving a certain level of "meaningful"ness indirectly as well...

E.g. Tom finally can afford and purchases the Sports Car he's always dreamed of. Expectably, the car doesn't fulfill his wildest dreams. In fact the piece of crap is a gas-guzzler. But it still looks sexy as hell and Tom wants to get it re-modeled so it won't be a constant drain on the wallet. His new goal (for some personal reasons) really fires him up and he's more enthusiatic and gun-ho in life because of it.

E.g. 2 - Suzy, a young actress starting in the business, meets a celebrity she'd always dreamed of. Life with the new guy isn't perfect, and the way he snores makes her want to punch a kitten. But at the same time, she wants to help teach him to dance, to appreciate her own Italian background by learning more, and to be a better cook. Tom the celebrity isn't impressed, he likes her ideas except for the cooking. Suzy gets frustrated, but determines to alternate between wonderful and crappy dinners until Tom understands how important cooking is! Tom is annoyed, but gives in and will read one small cooking book Suzy gave him, if she stops messing with the food. Now Suzy enthusiastically moves on to planning what recipes she can teach him so he can help her make big home-made meals for family get-togethers, etc. Tom understands more the holistic qualities of food and the food-making process rather than just the taste now. He reluctantly agrees to try some more cooking lessons. Suzy hits him in the ass with a frying pan and lets out a long mwahahaha of satisfaction.

IceCream wrote:

And so, if one of your goals is to stay with this girl for a long time, you definately have to hope for someone who will have some of the same goals as you.

I do hope for that.

IceCream wrote:

And, not so many annoying characteristics that you will hate her.

Not sure what you mean by "so many annoying characteristics that you will hate her." Unless you mean a strict and complex criteria adhere'd to dogmatically that will adversely affect the evaluation of any potential mate simply because of it's over-specificity.

IceCream wrote:

cos honestly, which process are you going to enjoy most? Finding a girl in japan, or finding a girl in america?

日本！

IceCream wrote:

Thankyou for taking the time to understand what i was trying to say!

Aw shucks, it's the least I could do for a lady going out of her way to deter me from walking facefirst into a tree. Or many trees, as it may be. And thank you very much for the useful counsel, I will meditate, reflect on it and post about it after I think it over more carefully.

==============================================================

sutebun wrote:

I hope TrueBlue buys his ticket to Japan months in advance and then falls in love with a girl in NY 1 month before he leaves.

I hope you're wrong; and as New Yorker, I must respectfully invoke one of the most long-standing and well-known of New York City traditions, to say to those who make fun of our goals: "Well F**k You too."

@sutebun, you words about "passing up" a wonderful girl, etc. have indeed been already voiced, and your additional voice of contention on similar points is noted.

sutebun wrote:

Stop worrying about planning, analyzing, and justifying everything. The human mind is a great thing, but the heart is a wonderful thing that should be used sometimes too~

It is wonderful. But I hate those idiots who live through life like they were on bumper cars. Not planning anything, just doing their 9 to 5 and pissing their life away, waiting for things to happen to them instead of preparing for or seeking it out themselves; when their true inner dreams that they talk to me about in their more self-honest hours are not nearly as unattainable as they themselves foolishly believe.

To those people, I reccommend a mid-life crisis fund, when they're 35 or 40 and realize how pathetically normal their life was, so they can afford that sports car, leather jacket, and tanning salon bills. All that burst of an effort when it could've worked 20 years earlier. And now that time is down the sh*tter. Time spent living a life that subconsciously and now openingly is acknowledged as simply not what they want in life. Sucks to be them, and I don't plan on it one bit.

Last edited by TheTrueBlue (2009 July 20, 9:24 am)

I never said that you can fall in love with anyone even given the right circumstances.  The reason my (previous) girlfriend and I had a great relationship was that we both thought each other's sense of humor was great, so we always had a lot of fun when we were together, no matter what we were doing.  We later broke up for reasons beyond our control (long story).  I'm more of the opinion that you need to have several serious relationships in order to understand what it truly is you are looking for in a partner.  I know it sounds silly, but the characteristic I want is someone who really understands my sense of humor.  I don't have time to explain why, but if you find someone like this (which is assuming, of course, you have a sense of humor), you will get along with each other well.