1) I understand the parents (and friends and relatives) thing.  It really does suck.  If you spend any reasonable amount of time over 20 minutes daily doing one thing (like Japanese) they think you've "become obsessed" or it's "not healthy" or they just plain start forcing you (or blackmailing you, in a weird way) to do other stuff.  I get it.  I do several things to deal with this: a) ignore them and do it anyway, b) since what they're doing isn't really fair, I don't think it's wrong to lay a guilt trip back on them and be like "Dude, I'm actually *learning* something.  Any other normal parents would be proud of me, but here you are acting like a bunch of--" you get the idea, c) explain the process to them and see if they'll sympathize, and d) give a set date as to when you're going to finish Kanji (this really works--they'll root for you and stuff, and you'll have a set date when you should finish so you'll have something to push for).  A part of this may include getting a kanjiposter.  My parents kind of let up once I put it up and starting marking kanji off. 

BTW, if you study at the computer at home, explain that you're not just randomly surfing the web and goofing around the computer.  Some parents think the computer is an evil thing that sucks your time and life away; you should explain to them that there's nothing inherently wrong with computers--computers are tools that you use to accomplish things.  It's what you do at them and what you're trying to accomplish that counts.  I told my parents that you wouldn't call a carpenter a "hammer-freak" because he uses a hammer all the time.  It's a tool.  Even if there was a serial killer going around killing people with hammers, you wouldn't blame the hammer.  (this is kind of ironic because language, in turn, is the same way.  Languages aren't bad.  You use them to accomplish/communicate other things.  They're a tool)

2)  I started over at like 300 because I didn't like the way I was going about the whole thing.  No matter how far you are, it shouldn't be a big deal.  The time it takes to catch back up goes pretty quick.  Relearning is A LOT easier than just plain learning.  I mean, if you keep all your cards in your stack/deck, it'll work the same way.  You'll just end up failing cards over and over for a few days until they stick; you'd just have to suck it up and deal with the failure rates for a while.  Whatever you do, don't debate about it.  Just do it.

3)  Well I don't know if you're in college or high school or what, so take this advice with a grain of salt.  Just remember that whenever you have extended periods of spare time is always the best time.  For me, this happens typically at school a lot since I'm in college and have several hours free sometimes.  I also have after school at home or before dinner.  And then there's after dinner and late into the night.  I find that as long as I eat with my family, they back off a bit for these times.  On the weekends I work, and since I'm tired I typically don't get much studying done.  I have really no motivation for new kanji those days after work, so I just try to keep up with reviews.  If you ever have days off from school but no work, these days are golden.  Treasure them.  Right now I have off of school until the 26th so I'm planning on doing A LOT of kanji. 

As far as studying, it helps to space it out.  For example, review all you're old kanji.  Then, learn new kanji and make stories.  Then wait a few hours, come back and review those new kanji that you just learned (or officially put them in the system depending on whether you're using this site or Anki).  Repeat the process.  This way you can do new Kanji in chunks.  That's the only way that I can ever get 50 kanji (or more if I'm REALLY motivated,<----this rarely happens).

Either way, がんばってね！

lol, don't get me wrong.  I'm not advocating disobeying your parents and getting carried away with it.  It's just that, yeah, sometimes they're wrong (or way wrong), and, since it's learning, just do it.  Lol.

Thank you for all your comments!
皆さんのコメントが有り難う御座います！

igordesu,

Thanks for the advice, this is exactly what I was looking for. My parents and siblings think I am going through an "anime\Japanese\FREAK phrase". They still think I will just snap out of it. (My older brother said he wanted to learn Japanese and draw anime and gave up after 4 months)

I think I will buy the poster to show them I am actually serious about learning. My parents aren't too big on Asian culture (they think it's too weird and bad for an American teen ect.) so they are bugging me about computer time. They ask me to read a book.  I pick up Genki II or Heisig and they say, "Thats not a real book. Why don't you learn something". >.>；Do they think I "pretend" to learn and speak Japanese?

The encouragement helps a lot!

kaoskastle,

You gave a handful of ideas that I am going to steal and call mine.
(sucks for you jk)
I agree with you that:  reviewing old kanji + reading book = back on track

Thanks for your ideas and comments~
　

sutebun,

I am a sucker for favors. I easily get distracted and realize half-way that what I am doing they can do themselves and I can get my own work done. I have a hard time sticking to a plan and putting my foot down.

I am a online high-school student. I left out a lot of information because I didn't think it was important. Most people people go through these problems when they learn Japanese. (problems such as: defending your reasons for study and learning Japanese, the teasing, reviewing kanji, and places you study.)

I would like to know where you study and how many times a day? I learned that studying in my room makes me distracted as well as in a room full of people.

Thanks for your comment and your input.

gyuujuice wrote:

Thanks for the advice, this is exactly what I was looking for. My parents and siblings think I am going through an "anime\Japanese\FREAK phrase". They still think I will just snap out of it. (My older brother said he wanted to learn Japanese and draw anime and gave up after 4 months)

I think I will buy the poster to show them I am actually serious about learning. My parents aren't too big on Asian culture (they think it's too weird and bad for an American teen ect.) so they are bugging me about computer time. They ask me to read a book.  I pick up Genki II or Heisig and they say, "Thats not a real book. Why don't you learn something". >.>；Do they think I "pretend" to learn and speak Japanese?
...
I would like to know where you study and how many times a day? I learned that studying in my room makes me distracted as well as in a room full of people.

Thanks for your comment and your input.

Tell them to leave you alone and that you want a DNA test to prove they're your parents. I don't know, when I was your age I didn't take shit from my parents. Usually I'd respond with something sarcastic like "Oh yeah, learning another language doesn't count as 'learning'..." or "Well, there is this book I want, it's about Satan's uprising. While we're out, can we stop at hot topic and get some piercings? Or how about you be the good parent and support my hobby?"

In my kanji learning I would study kanji in the morning and review in the evening/night. The trick is to find your most optimal working hours. For me, I'm dead weight between about noon and four, I can't do anything and get distracted easy during that time. So I scheduled my learning around when I knew I would be most productive.

amthomas wrote:

I tend to study on my lunch break at work because it's a regular time each day where I know I can study uninterrupted for a period of time.

I have been having similar issues lately, as coworkers keep asking me to go to lunch with them. For me, though, I feel that it is worth taking the time away from my studies in order to build and strengthen relationships with people that I assume I will be working with for many years to come. So, if I don't study at lunch, I make for darn sure that I get it done before I leave work that day.

I think that setting aside a regular time each day to study is a good way to help sort out your issues. Make a sign, as was suggested above, and put a finished time on it (Studying until Blah Blah o'clock). Let people in your life know that this is something that is important to you and that you're only asking to not be disturbed during the set time period that you decide on, and if they don't respect your sign maybe try reminding them how important it is, and how you'll gladly help them if they come back at blah blah o'clock... *shrug*

I also find that shutting off my email / IM client is helpful, since you can't get distracted by "Oooh! look who's online!!!!" syndrome...

Note, though, that I'm by no means rushing through RTK... I've restarted twice with big gaps in between tries, but I've found that having posters up with completed kanji crossed off or highlighted makes it *way* easier to justify your alone time to others.

Yeah, that is a really important point, of course learning something new is going to take up a fair bit of your free time, but don't let it aversely effect your day to day life or your relationships with your family and friends. If I have set a goal for a particular day and my girlfriend wants to see me, or one of my friends wants to go for a beer then that is more important, and the kanji can wait for a day.

On the opposite hand, so long as they're not forcing you to not study such as taking away computer, internet connection, iPod with Japanese, books, etc., then you can look at parents as useful obstacles. The obstacles are not there to stop those that really want to reach a destination, they're there to stop those that don't really want it.

If all it takes is someone to say "let's do something else" to distract you from Japanese, how much do you REALLY want to learn it? If all it takes is someone to call you a "Japanese freak" to discourage you from learning, how much do you really want it? However, if you push despite that, then you have a drive that cannot reasonably be stopped.

Someone posted a link to it here before, but that video "The Last Lecture" is really motivating in this regard. It's worth it to find time to watch it in my opinion.

Japanese is hard. It's going to take you 1000 to 2000 hours of active studying to be reasonably fluent AT LEAST. In addition, you're going to have watch and read a lot of Japanese on top of the studying. That's my discouragement (maybe I should post it on the discouragement thread?), now get by it.

Again, thanks for your comments!

I reached my 360 kanji last month and then found some other Japanese websites such as iKnow and Lang-8 and went all googly-eye on them for the last month. I perfer to study in blocks of hours which is bad for me because languages have to be spread out.

Nukemarine, I was't complaining about my parents or even stating I was discouraged. I was asked for more information so I described the situation in detail. In fact I sold some of my English possesions, cover English in my room with paper and tape and try to listen to Japanese radio\music constantly so I'm serious about learning. I'm just haven't found my corner yet. Thanks for the video by the way.

I asked a Japanese teacher if she could set me up with a friend but I haven't recieved a response. But I have some friends online.     

I am using Genki, Heisig, iKnow, Lang-8, Youtube (music\ Japanese shows ect.) and soon an online teacher. I have all the resources I need. I just tend to stick to one for 9 hours then skip the other nine. (big exaggeration)

Thanks for all your help~

gyuujuice wrote:

My parents and siblings think I am going through an "anime\Japanese\FREAK phrase". They still think I will just snap out of it.

And maybe they're right. Time will tell. That you're so easily distracted makes me think they might be on to something. Almost every young person is into anime these days, so it's not an unreasonable suspicion on their part. Are your grades good in general? Are you good about doing chores given to you? Ace the things you're supposed to do, and you'll have much more freedom for the things you want to do.

gyuujuice wrote:

(My older brother said he wanted to learn Japanese and draw anime and gave up after 4 months)

Well, there you go. You're not your brother, perhaps you will be serious. But given this, you can't really blame your parents for wanting to keep you from "wasting" 4 months like your brother when you could've been doing other things. I might still disagree with the characterization that those 4 months were wasted, but I can easily see where some would think a task begun and abandoned was a waste.

Is the computer in the family room or in your own room? Offer to move it to the family room so they can see that nothing weird is going on. Parents are only suspicious of computers when they don't see/understand what's being done on them. Many kids pressure parents to let them have computers in their rooms, then go and lock themselves in their rooms while their parents have nightmares of their kids having pr0n addiction--not an entirely unreasonable nightmare, it turns out. If you don't do stuff like that, ask to move the computer into the family room so they can see you're being productive.

If it's already in a communal space where it can be monitored, limit your study to predictable hours that they are aware of, and stick to them. Tell them you are doing it so they understand you're not being obsessive. Yes, I said limit. You can sneak in extra hours when they aren't around. After 6 months or a year, if you're still at it and your grades are still up, then try extending that period an extra half-hour or something. I know patience is not a virtue of the young, but try.

Placate them. From time to time, read a "real" book where they can see you. On the one hand, this is a good thing to do anyway, as not enough young folk read for pleasure. Ask them for a favorite book of theirs and read it--they'll get a kick out of you valuing something they recommend. It'll also show that you're not being imbalanced.

Parents are neither evil nor dumb. They have a limited range of experience and try to do what's best based on it, and while juggling a mountain of responsibilities you really have no real understanding of. One day, your own children will have strange interests you don't understand, and though you may say, "Yeah, but I'll make sure to have a good relationship with them so they're open with me," you can't guarantee they'll WANT a good relationship with you because your attempts at being good to them may be interpreted as you being a jackass. It happens. However, you can still work within the system to accomplish your goals and grow their trust of you. Being disrespectful or sarcastic or overly argumentative will NOT help matters. Everything I've recommended involves you showing an extra level of respect to them. Which do you think will honestly help make the peace?

My grades are above average. (A's and B's) I do more chores normally and I can clearly see their point of view and their reasons for it. The real issue is convincing them.

Our computers are in a computer room next to the living room so they aren't "hidden" but I really like your ideas about stating a time which I will be using for studying. I, in no way, want to be disrespectful to my parents. I'm not upset at them. Patience is something I have to find because learning a language is 30% patience and 70% diligence.

"And maybe they're right. Time will tell. That you're so easily distracted makes me think they might be on to something. Almost every young person is into anime these days, so it's not an unreasonable suspicion on their part."

I have been learning for over a year. My grades and my hobbies are kept at a fair distance. I am not known for giving up. (Thats not what we are discussing anyways.)

I found everything I need to get started, thank you for your time.