"ありがとうごます"

I dunno about the rest, but I think you'd definitely wanna fix that :p

Also 残 should presumably be 残念 and you shouldn't have です　after ありがたい, but mostly it seems pretty good. I don't think it reads like native writing though. The sentences feel a little disjointed and there's some odd phrasing, but writing like a native is well beyond my level so I can't really help you with that.

Edit: Seems I might be wrong about ありがたい　＋　です. I need to google some more. ^^

Last edited by Splatted (2013 September 11, 10:29 am)

>>OP
Maybe you should include an English version with what you're trying to say as well. Cause honestly you got me lost with the last 2 sentences (the ones before the お願いします part).

Some tips:
-> Write important stuff such as the reason why you can't scan the said certificate cause such things usually don't take that much time.
-> Don't write irrelevant information like the name and occupation of your shogi woman professional friend. I'm pretty sure nobody cares about it.
-> 何か問題があれば~ sounds as if you're superior compared to the addressee. Try not to be rude.
-> Write the name of the certificate.
-> Use keigo.

Anyway, you probably won't be needing the last 2 sentences (before the お願いします part) cause you're asking for a favor. If you want to make a request, it's wiser to do it the second time.

And finally a revised version:
==================
ABC様

お忙しい中お返事ありがとうございます。

残念ながら現段階では、~(の)ため、XYZ認定証をスキャンできそうにありませんので、他に何か方法があれば教えていただけると幸いです。

ご迷惑をお掛けして申し訳ございません。

よろしくお願いいたします。

(自分の氏名)

EDIT:
Added the (write your name here) part.

Last edited by Arupan (2013 September 11, 6:26 pm)

Yeah, I'm sure. You read it as なか and not ちゅう right?

Arupan wrote:

Yeah, I'm sure. You read it as なか and not ちゅう right?

Either way it's not something I'm familiar with -- not a big surprise since I don't have lots of experience with formal e-mails.  I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a mistake on your part.

Ceras wrote:

mm i have one question about keigo, it is really "compulsory" to use it in a kind of official or "for asking a favor" mail? or it can't be okay to use only normal polite forms? i don't know very much of keigo...:p

If you want to sound like a native speaker, yes it is compulsory.  Letters or e-mails requesting favors, especially from people you don't know or superiors/teachers, tend to use the maximum possible keigo you can.  They tend to use a lot of forms that you never use in speech or see that much outside of this　(like ～していただければありがたく存じます instead of てください).  If the favor is very small or the person isn't someone you are going to ever meet or know in real life you can bend the rules a bit, but even there basic keigo would be expected.  You haven't made it entirely clear who you're contacting and what the favor is, so I can't be more specific.

If you don't know keigo then you'll either have to learn it or just accept that your mail won't sound like a native speaker.

Last edited by yudantaiteki (2013 September 13, 12:23 pm)

actually to say the facts, i was writing this for asking for a favor on a game server (game of go) which would normally be not possible, because normally reserved to professionnal go players (but i wanted to ask for it to see if there was exceptions). i got a response from a japanese administrator of the site asking me to join a copy of a professionnal go player certification, which (not being a pro player) i couldn't provide...so basically i tried something to see if there was no over ways...:p

my interlocutor responded me in japanese, not considering i could not have been a native speaker at first.But  Anyway after i sended this mail, his response implied that the japanese in the mail was not one of a native... so that was the reason why i asked about the content of my mail...

(sorry about the double post)

Last edited by Ceras (2013 September 13, 1:25 pm)