Please correct my Japanese

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Reply #1 - 2013 June 02, 6:00 am
pauro02 Member
Registered: 2013-04-08 Posts: 126

心が痛いんだ, ばかばか何だぜ ... その出来事はぼくにつけるのでした。 ... 恋水を流す。 でも、 この恋水は心痛につけをできないでしょう。 ... でも, しかたないな .. 恋水をできるのそれだけだ。 ... それだけだ。 ... (T ^ T)　＜ーーー　Please try to correct this for me if I have had said this right.. please teach me as well about this... Thanks!　

Reply #2 - 2013 June 02, 6:34 am
Shinichirou Member
Registered: 2011-03-13 Posts: 98

I'd like to help you, but as Japanese is not my L1 language (native tongue), there's no way I could.


My advice is to post this on Lang-8. They'll help you in no time!

Reply #3 - 2013 June 02, 6:59 am
drdunlap Member
From: 水の都 Registered: 2009-06-01 Posts: 364 Website

Nnnnn.. this Japanese doesn't make enough sense to be easily corrected... not sure how to help. neutral

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Reply #4 - 2013 June 02, 7:00 am
EratiK Member
From: Paris Registered: 2010-07-15 Posts: 874

I commend your enthusiasm, but I have to agree, this isn't Lang-8.

Last edited by EratiK (2013 June 02, 7:02 am)

Reply #5 - 2013 June 02, 7:07 am
Zgarbas Watchman
From: 名古屋 Registered: 2011-10-09 Posts: 1210 Website

Exactly. Please see lang-8 for corrections, or the what's this phrase? thread when you're confused about certain words smile.

Also, for the record, providing an English version of what you wanted to say makes things a looot easier for the people wanting to help you smile.

Reply #6 - 2013 June 02, 7:25 am
pauro02 Member
Registered: 2013-04-08 Posts: 126

Reading your comments made me think that my japanese still sucks.. eerrr.. okay2.. better do some more practice and studies... By the way, I intended it and I was thinking if what I've composed were already be understandable.. So it's not.. xD better luck next time...

Reply #7 - 2013 June 02, 9:47 am
Tori-kun このやろう
Registered: 2010-08-27 Posts: 1193 Website

@pauro02: Seconding EratiK, but to be quite frank your Japanese is just not comprehendible and I think Lang-8 is also the wrong place.

Just take this criticism constructively and go through Tae Kim and Genki or any other book on grammar that suits you and introduces you to the very basics you seem to be lacking. It's after that when you can express complex things like emotions in Japanese, I'm sure.

There are many excellent Japanese learners on this board who have gone the same way you will have to go in order to reach proficiency and I am convicted those will be gratefully helping you out with your difficulties later at some point.

Reply #8 - 2013 June 02, 10:08 am
yudantaiteki Member
Registered: 2009-10-03 Posts: 3619

I was surprised to see that 恋水 is actually a real word meaning "tears of love" and that's it's even in the Koujien.  I've never seen or heard of it before.

One other word of advice is that it's probably better, when you're trying to write your own Japanese, to try to write things that you might actually say in a real situation.  It's difficult to compose and correct things that don't really sound like actual situations.

Reply #9 - 2013 June 02, 11:17 am
pauro02 Member
Registered: 2013-04-08 Posts: 126

Tori-kun wrote:

@pauro02: Seconding EratiK, but to be quite frank your Japanese is just not comprehendible and I think Lang-8 is also the wrong place.

Just take this criticism constructively and go through Tae Kim and Genki or any other book on grammar that suits you and introduces you to the very basics you seem to be lacking. It's after that when you can express complex things like emotions in Japanese, I'm sure.

There are many excellent Japanese learners on this board who have gone the same way you will have to go in order to reach proficiency and I am convicted those will be gratefully helping you out with your difficulties later at some point.

Thanks for the advice! I'm studying right now, self study though....　I was just doing a sort of test drive.. Well, I guess there's so much more to learn...

Reply #10 - 2013 June 02, 11:19 am
pauro02 Member
Registered: 2013-04-08 Posts: 126

yudantaiteki wrote:

I was surprised to see that 恋水 is actually a real word meaning "tears of love" and that's it's even in the Koujien.  I've never seen or heard of it before.

One other word of advice is that it's probably better, when you're trying to write your own Japanese, to try to write things that you might actually say in a real situation.  It's difficult to compose and correct things that don't really sound like actual situations.

I still didn't know much about actual situations stuffs, my japanese are all book based.. I pretty need some more basic lessons though, I guess I can't jump just yet on some more difficult than N5 level..

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