I'm not going to dissect your whole post but let me point out a few errors.

the way you're connected sentences with と is incorrect. と cannot be used like english "and" to connect sentences. This is the big take-away point I think. Read up on connecting sentences in Japanese.

設定 means setting(s) (like computer settings, setup etc). The word you want is 環境.

There are many other errors. It's clear you're attempting to write way above your level with the use of a dictionary. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you will learn something. But in general, you'll write better if you stick to language which you're more confident is correct (based on your experience of how natives use them).

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume this is for a class.

My suggestion would be to stick with the words and expressions you learned in class.  If it is a test, then the test will only cover that which your teacher expects you to know: i.e. what you covered in class.  There is no need to try and get fancy and start pulling words you don't know from a dictionary.

Last edited by amtrack (2013 May 20, 7:21 pm)

I'm still not really sure exactly what we're supposed to be commenting on.  What does the teacher want you to do?  Is it supposed to be funny?  Are you supposed to be using structures and words that you learned in class, or does she want you looking up a lot of words and sticking them in there?

At some point it becomes more our work than yours.  You will learn much more from writing something that uses things you know, and that you might actually use some day, than you will from something like what you wrote in the last post.  If this isn't an option because of the way the teacher is doing things I guess you don't have a choice, but you're not going to learn anything useful from writing something that no Japanese teacher would ever say, using words you will never use in real Japanese conversation, and using lots of words and structures that you're getting from an English-Japanese dictionary (and misusing).

I apologize if this sounds harsh, but I really am trying to help you.

Last edited by yudantaiteki (2013 May 20, 10:27 pm)

Hmm, I've taught in Japan for a while so I have some idea how discipline works.  I've heard teachers say うるさい to students, as well as 静かに(しなさい) and 座りなさい.  I've never heard 黙る in any form or 聞きなさい used (*except in particular situations).  And of course, the more ridiculous things you said are not used.  In general, Japanese students find it funny if a teacher gets really mad or over the top (adults in Japanese society are expected to keep their cool and not get openly angry), so angry phrases aimed at students are kept at a minimum.  If a teacher gets angry or says something mean students will laugh and feel like they've won. 

Some teachers are good at really intimidating the students, but this is usually done through manner of speaking and physical proximity rather than word choice.  Most schools have a discipline department and the teacher in charge of it usually is picked based on how intimidating he is--students end up having to talk to him if they get in really big trouble.

I know you weren't going for anything realistic, but the reality of the situation might be illuminating.

Last edited by Tzadeck (2013 May 21, 5:24 am)

Hank_Hill wrote:

I have many skills that would be useful in an office setting. I am very socially competent and I have good interpersonal office skills. I work rather quickly and I always get my work in ahead of time. In addition, I can speak fluent Finnish and Norwegian. I also, I am skilled with computers and I have a vast knowledge of programming.

I don't think saying "I am very socially competent" is a usual thing to say in any language... consider using コミュニケーション能力 or チームワーク.

Really you'd have to completely rewrite it to sound natural, compare with:

私はオフィスの仕事に適したスキルが複数あります。まず、自分のコミュニケーション能力が高くて、チェームワークも得意です。そして、常にハイペースで物事に取り組んで、必ず与えられた仕事を締切より早めに完成します。その上、フィンランド語もノールウェイ語も流暢に話せます。最後に、パソコンも得意で、プログラッミングの知識もたくさんあります。

Last edited by dizmox (2013 May 22, 10:27 pm)

yudantaiteki wrote:

I'm not familiar with 手に負えない so I can't say whether it sounds right there or not.

To me 手に負えない means something like a kid "difficult to manage", not really the meaning of spoiled. It wouldn't be used in front of the said children, it's like saying "I will punish children that are too much for me to handle", lol. You'd use the word with another person concerned with childcare, for example one mother saying to another mother : 手に負えない子供を頼んですみません！

By the way Hank_Hill, you say kanji knowledge will be valued in your test and that you want to display your freshly acquired RtK skills. But the thing is, if you looked carefully at the kanjis used in the expression 手に負えない, you would have realized what the precise meaning is ("that cannot be borned with (one's) hand", literally), and that it didn't fit the context. And those kanjis were really simple. That kind of precise understanding and reflexion about kanjis is what you should aim for, instead of randomly cramming more unusual kanjis like 懲戒処分. That's exactly what I was referring to in this other post about what really is "understanding kanji" (know the meaning nuances and the word usage, whether it be in Japanese or Chinese).
How about 悪い子には罰を与えるぞ！(check actual usage here : 罰を与える). 黙りなさい seems natural, I know I've heard/seen it in classroom settings (not IRL though, just in native medias).

If I may give you a huge advice (or even a warning), it would be : you must stop translating from English, absolutely. It was really obvious in the job interview sentences. You said you wanted answers from advanced learners, so I assume the English translation wasn't intended for them, and that's what you wrote for yourself before making the Japanese sentences? Don't do that. That's precisely what lead you to misuse と, to put 私 just about everywhere when it shouldn't appear more than once (or even not at all), and to use (wrongly) one-to-one word correspondences between English and Japanese. Such dictionary usage will always fail, because an English word will have different meanings that will correspond to multiple Japanese words, and you will only be able to pick up the good one if (i) you knew most (all) of them previously and have a general sense of their usage (ii) you have an idea of the usage frequency of these Japanese words (iii) you know how to take advantage of kanjis to differentiate their respective meanings. Shocking news : a bilingual dictionary alone can't be used properly by a beginner or lower intermediate learner. It needs to come with detailed explanations of contextual usage, and/or with examples sentences. Whenever you want to use a word, please do look for bilingual sentences and use good judgment to pick the good ones ([1], [2], [3] and [4] should do the job).

Second advice, which is a direct follow-up of the first : rely more (or even only) on the words you know well, those you have seen in class (if any) and those you have seen used in native materials. If you are thinking that you will lack vocabulary doing this, that's good, because this is the truth you need to face early on : you need more exposure to real Japanese to know how words are used and which ones are the most common. Relying on a dictionary will obstruct this fact. When producing Japanese, golden rule : keep it simple. Use only words and grammar you are sure are completely accurate. This will immediately result in more natural speech, and the only thing you will need to do is increase the breadth of your grammar/vocab. Trust me, better make simple and idiomatic/natural Japanese than complicated and artifical/wrong Japanese. Look at dizmox's rewriting of your job interview sentences, this is what you should aim for.

I'm a little harsh here, but I want to help you. You are on the wrong road right now, if you keep doing written or mental word per word translation from English, you'll encounter even more trouble later on, and you will never reach an advanced level.

Last edited by Warp2243 (2013 May 23, 10:03 am)