louischa wrote:
... What I find interesting is that at some point, her superior (the stunningly beautiful Kaori Tsuji) told her that she definitely had a "mental problem" because she was speaking her mind. So, take heart, Tori-kun, you are not the first person to be on the receiving end of such a statement.
About this, it too seemed to me that Tori-kun ended up more aggravated by his friend calling him "mentally disordered", as if it were a suggestion for him to treat himself (or, as he interprets it in his comment, to change his personality), than by anything else:
Tori-kun wrote:
Long story short, ultimately a)-c) and the recent discussion lead towards one of my best friends so far telling me I was mentally disordered （精神は病む とか 健康な状態じゃない）.
...
I got offended by personal insulsts like "you are a mental retard for the way you think"
...
I feel like Japanese demands my personality to change at this very point ...
The thing is, that's also very common in English – if you do or say anything slightly different from the norm, many people, especially friends, will say you're "insane / mad / deranged / crazy / nuts / mentally ill", which actually mean the same thing concerning mental health but are so commonly used in so many contexts that they've lost most of their seriousness. "You're insane for not wanting a [societal want: car, TV, real job, big house, lots of money, etc.] like everyone else!" Or, in this case, "you're crazy (for not doing things our way!)" Perhaps that's a better idiomatic translation to that statement. If that happens often enough to annoy you, you can either conform (boring) or find other people to hang out with — in Japan there are a lot of dissidents too, just like in any other country, but maybe you won't find them in Lang-8.
About the whole situation, I suggest reading the book How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne and applying what he says, which includes observing what triggers unpleasant reactions from others and accepting the consequences if you do something that causes them – that's the real deal for nonconformists, not just doing things your way and wanting others to behave against their nature, which is, more often than not, being reactive, defensive, and even attacking you when you don't conform to their will.
Last edited by gdaxeman (2012 July 28, 2:52 pm)
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