Here's how to turn negative thoughts into positive, but realistic thoughts:

* I just don't know what to do, which direction to go in my life.
-> i'm not sure what i want to do with my life yet, so i'm going to go out and try a bunch of different things until i do know what i want to do.

*I've studied economics, finance and accountancy, but I've forgotten a lot
-> i have a good, useful degree, so i always have that to fall back on if i need a job. I just need to brush up on some stuff i can't remember right now.

*I wanted to be an astronomist / cosmologist, but I'm not good enough in maths / physics
-> i wanted to be an astronomist, but i haven't learned maths and physics well enough yet. So, i'm going to start off learning these right from the basics, and make sure i have those solidly down. Then i can pursue this in the future.

*I'm also interested in IT, with which I might actually be able to make a living, but right now I'm at home with my parents...
-> I'm interested in IT too though, so if astronomy doesn't work out it's no big deal. I'll research what skills i'll need to get an IT job, then start applying. Luckily, I'm at home with my parents right now, so I have all the time I need to do that kind of research.

* I have to come up with a plan and real soon, because I have to move.
-> I'm really lucky to have parents who care about me and want me to be happy, and give me the time I need to decide what I want to do in the world. But I also want to live independantly, so i'll do my research as quickly as I can.

*Being a physicist is too far fetched (I'm 27 already) besides I don't want to study full-time again - it just doesn't feel right (and I also cannot afford it).
-> I know i can achieve whatever I want to, but I have to be prepared to work hard for it. Right now my priority is to get a job though, so i'll continue studying those things I love in my spare time. That way, I can get to the level I need to be at, while saving some money. Being able to afford study can be difficult, but i'll just have to try my best to get a scholarship. If I can't get one now, I'll find out what would improve my chances and try again later. etc.

*I'm attracted to big cities, and big things in general (macroeconomics, cosmology, ect) but also interested in programming. But I feel lost.
-> i have a general idea of where my interests lie, and it's quite a wide area, so there's probably tons of jobs i'd be interested in! I'll have to try more things in real life before I can really decide.

* I just feel it doesn't matter what I choose it WILL be the wrong decision, so I'm afraid to chose, to move out...
-> it doesn't really matter what I do, or what happens, as long as I try my best, try to make the most out of every opportunity and learn from things that go wrong, or that i end up not enjoying.

* in my past all my decisions since the university were mistakes....basically all of them. No, come to think of it since choosing what to stuy, all my choices were mistakes.
-> well, i haven't been too happy with some of my previous decisions, but there's no real point in regretting the past, because everyone can only make decisions based on the information they have at the time. Anyway, I always learn from whatever i do in the world, good or bad, so it's no big deal.

* i'm such a loser, i missed an opportunity to cheat today.
-> hey, cool, i'm not some scummy mf who wants to win by cheating. If that's what they expected of me, that company is clearly going to suck to work for anyway, so, whatever. Other, better opportunities'll come along.

*Hahahahaaha riiiiight. I've been bouncing my head into the wall for the last 20 minutes, pretty sure the bitch has to do something with me getting to psychiatria. Seems like I have some god damned emotional turmoil, when I saw her relationship status, my heart was bouncing.
-> damn, the girl i liked is in love with someone else. I feel a bit rubbish right now. But i spent a lot of time with her, and liked her a lot, so it's pretty normal that i don't feel so good about it. Just gotta ride it out. It's not her fault, really.

* Seems like I have a bad habit of not being able to get over things. How do you do that? Yes I can forget, but sometimes it reoccurs, just for a second / minute, and then fades away.
-> This hurts a bit cos i really liked her. That's actually normal though. Just gotta ride it out.

* Damn, I'm sorting my files and I came over an email (saved in doc format) I sent to that.....person. Damn....If only I could go back one year before....if only......just one year....
-> ah man, sorting my files and reading stuff i sent her a year ago probably isn't going to help right now. I'm gonna go outside and take a walk for a bit. Ah well, there's no point in regretting the past. Sometimes things just don't work out, and people you fall in love with don't love you back. It hurts, but it's the way it is. I'll probably find someone who i get on better with and who really loves me in the future sometime.

etcetcetc.

Do you see? It IS possible. Every negative thought you have, you need to think about it, try to put it in some perspective, and then you can learn to think about it differently.

IceCream Wrote:Here's how to turn negative thoughts into positive, but realistic thoughts:

* I just don't know what to do, which direction to go in my life.
-> i'm not sure what i want to do with my life yet, so i'm going to go out and try a bunch of different things until i do know what i want to do.

*I've studied economics, finance and accountancy, but I've forgotten a lot
-> i have a good, useful degree, so i always have that to fall back on if i need a job. I just need to brush up on some stuff i can't remember right now.

*I wanted to be an astronomist / cosmologist, but I'm not good enough in maths / physics
-> i wanted to be an astronomist, but i haven't learned maths and physics well enough yet. So, i'm going to start off learning these right from the basics, and make sure i have those solidly down. Then i can pursue this in the future.

*I'm also interested in IT, with which I might actually be able to make a living, but right now I'm at home with my parents...
-> I'm interested in IT too though, so if astronomy doesn't work out it's no big deal. I'll research what skills i'll need to get an IT job, then start applying. Luckily, I'm at home with my parents right now, so I have all the time I need to do that kind of research.

* I have to come up with a plan and real soon, because I have to move.
-> I'm really lucky to have parents who care about me and want me to be happy, and give me the time I need to decide what I want to do in the world. But I also want to live independantly, so i'll do my research as quickly as I can.

*Being a physicist is too far fetched (I'm 27 already) besides I don't want to study full-time again - it just doesn't feel right (and I also cannot afford it).
-> I know i can achieve whatever I want to, but I have to be prepared to work hard for it. Right now my priority is to get a job though, so i'll continue studying those things I love in my spare time. That way, I can get to the level I need to be at, while saving some money. Being able to afford study can be difficult, but i'll just have to try my best to get a scholarship. If I can't get one now, I'll find out what would improve my chances and try again later. etc.

*I'm attracted to big cities, and big things in general (macroeconomics, cosmology, ect) but also interested in programming. But I feel lost.
-> i have a general idea of where my interests lie, and it's quite a wide area, so there's probably tons of jobs i'd be interested in! I'll have to try more things in real life before I can really decide.

* I just feel it doesn't matter what I choose it WILL be the wrong decision, so I'm afraid to chose, to move out...
-> it doesn't really matter what I do, or what happens, as long as I try my best, try to make the most out of every opportunity and learn from things that go wrong, or that i end up not enjoying.

* in my past all my decisions since the university were mistakes....basically all of them. No, come to think of it since choosing what to stuy, all my choices were mistakes.
-> well, i haven't been too happy with some of my previous decisions, but there's no real point in regretting the past, because everyone can only make decisions based on the information they have at the time. Anyway, I always learn from whatever i do in the world, good or bad, so it's no big deal.

* i'm such a loser, i missed an opportunity to cheat today.
-> hey, cool, i'm not some scummy mf who wants to win by cheating. If that's what they expected of me, that company is clearly going to suck to work for anyway, so, whatever. Other, better opportunities'll come along.

*Hahahahaaha riiiiight. I've been bouncing my head into the wall for the last 20 minutes, pretty sure the bitch has to do something with me getting to psychiatria. Seems like I have some god damned emotional turmoil, when I saw her relationship status, my heart was bouncing.
-> damn, the girl i liked is in love with someone else. I feel a bit rubbish right now. But i spent a lot of time with her, and liked her a lot, so it's pretty normal that i don't feel so good about it. Just gotta ride it out. It's not her fault, really.

* Seems like I have a bad habit of not being able to get over things. How do you do that? Yes I can forget, but sometimes it reoccurs, just for a second / minute, and then fades away.
-> This hurts a bit cos i really liked her. That's actually normal though. Just gotta ride it out.

* Damn, I'm sorting my files and I came over an email (saved in doc format) I sent to that.....person. Damn....If only I could go back one year before....if only......just one year....
-> ah man, sorting my files and reading stuff i sent her a year ago probably isn't going to help right now. I'm gonna go outside and take a walk for a bit. Ah well, there's no point in regretting the past. Sometimes things just don't work out, and people you fall in love with don't love you back. It hurts, but it's the way it is. I'll probably find someone who i get on better with and who really loves me in the future sometime.

etcetcetc.

Do you see? It IS possible. Every negative thought you have, you need to think about it, try to put it in some perspective, and then you can learn to think about it differently.

Haha, you actually made me laugh..it does sound ridiculous when I think about it....those statements. Thank you for showing me a way! Ok, ok, so I was probably in a one-sided love, I just don't want to admit it....or rather can't believe it, well that's life.
My mood right now:

Something like this.

llolol. that's better!!!

hahah that video is great

IceCream Wrote: llolol. that's better!!!

hahah that video is great

Actually that is a sad song.....for me. But wait there's more: check this out:

it's hungarian!
And I think I'm too nice as a person - typical for somebody who is alone. I will try to get out of this circle, I will start tomorrow.

For all of you who have negative thoughts once in a while, remember:

♪ You can always turn everything the other way round ♪

I want to be in loooooove

But I probably was not long ago....

Actually Reschaverak it sounds like you're not doing too badly for someone of 27. I'm 26, and just finishing my batchelors degree in a few months. Until I was 23, I basically had done nothing positive with my life and was on a very dark path. I had a big wake-up call, and that coupled with meeting my gf helped me start putting my life on the right track. You at least have your accounting/financial education behind you.

I think there are several key reasons why you're in a good position to do something very fulfilling and satisfying with your life from here on. Firstly, you have some interests, which is an important thing many people lack. Without curiosity, and without a hobby, life lacks structure and that so often leads to depression. So it's actually a pretty good start that you're interested in big physics and programming. Those aren't just any interests either - they happen to be things very well aligned with what's important to society in general. You can harness that to turn them into a career.

There's another reason programming is a great thing to be interested in: you don't need a formal education to make a career out of programming. You can teach yourself, and experience is the key thing. You have access to the internet, so you've got access to all the best resources. If you're able to provide for your basic needs, plus a computer and the internet, you can become a very good programmer. You can make money from it with a bit of creativity.

Next, I wonder whether your interest in 'big' things is limited to big things in physics, or whether it extends to the rest of science? Because although physics is not struggling for programmers, the life sciences really are. Some of the biggest and most exciting research areas are stalling for lack of programming skills in the biological research community. You could very realistically turn your interest in programming and 'big things' to a career in bioinformatics for example. It doesn't have to be biology, but if you're not particularly fixated on cosmology etc., you could teach yourself programming and apply it in another field, which will make your skills more valuable: programming plus another (scientific) specialisation is extremely valuable in the job marketplace. If you're interested in pursuing the scientific programming thing, let's talk.

Finally, I think you need to give yourself a break about the girl situation. It's cliché, but there are 3.5 billion women in the world, and you'll meet many thousands of them in your life. Don't get hung up over one - just get on with experiencing life and you'll pretty soon find someone even better.

Also, don't forget to get regular exercise. I find long walks in particular always help straighten out my head when I get stuck in any extreme emotional rut.

Blahah Wrote:Actually Reschaverak it sounds like you're not doing too badly for someone of 27. I'm 26, and just finishing my batchelors degree in a few months. Until I was 23, I basically had done nothing positive with my life and was on a very dark path. I had a big wake-up call, and that coupled with meeting my gf helped me start putting my life on the right track. You at least have your accounting/financial education behind you.

I think there are several key reasons why you're in a good position to do something very fulfilling and satisfying with your life from here on. Firstly, you have some interests, which is an important thing many people lack. Without curiosity, and without a hobby, life lacks structure and that so often leads to depression. So it's actually a pretty good start that you're interested in big physics and programming. Those aren't just any interests either - they happen to be things very well aligned with what's important to society in general. You can harness that to turn them into a career.

There's another reason programming is a great thing to be interested in: you don't need a formal education to make a career out of programming. You can teach yourself, and experience is the key thing. You have access to the internet, so you've got access to all the best resources. If you're able to provide for your basic needs, plus a computer and the internet, you can become a very good programmer. You can make money from it with a bit of creativity.

Next, I wonder whether your interest in 'big' things is limited to big things in physics, or whether it extends to the rest of science? Because although physics is not struggling for programmers, the life sciences really are. Some of the biggest and most exciting research areas are stalling for lack of programming skills in the biological research community. You could very realistically turn your interest in programming and 'big things' to a career in bioinformatics for example. It doesn't have to be biology, but if you're not particularly fixated on cosmology etc., you could teach yourself programming and apply it in another field, which will make your skills more valuable: programming plus another (scientific) specialisation is extremely valuable in the job marketplace. If you're interested in pursuing the scientific programming thing, let's talk.

Finally, I think you need to give yourself a break about the girl situation. It's cliché, but there are 3.5 billion women in the world, and you'll meet many thousands of them in your life. Don't get hung up over one - just get on with experiencing life and you'll pretty soon find someone even better.

Also, don't forget to get regular exercise. I find long walks in particular always help straighten out my head when I get stuck in any extreme emotional rut.

Yes....you're right, it could be worse. I've been going through some of my old books from university...and it occured to me: since 18, I've been living between the 4 walls.
For instance I've found my vocabulary, in english I did on the paper, at least 1500 words written out, with the hungarian meanings (at least 2 of them). Now why did I do that for? I would never do i now, it's a waste of time. I remember I used to do things like this on Saturdays, or Sundays. when everybody was with their girlfriend / boyfriend, having fun socializing...ect. So when I look back I see...emptiness....endless emptiness....or sadness...and the sadness of the past has a little affect on me I guess (at least in my subconscious). Haha, but it's gonna be different soon even though I've been sitting here all day once again..

Haha come to think of it, I'm gonna be home totally alone tomorrow, and after tomorrow (my parents are going away to visit some acquaintances) I haven't been alone since a few months, will see what's gonna happen.

Raschaverk, here's my solution to your dilemma:

Did they ever tell you that you should take a picture of it?

No?

THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW?????

Now, that aside, that seemed like a gracious opportunity they offered you and sure you didn't think of taking the picture, but the fact you didn't consider it says you're someone who wants to be honest. That's not a bad trait

And so what if you missed that opportunity? There are plenty of others passing by every day! The trick is to not try so hard in finding them. Once you stop putting effort in trying to find them, you'll just start "noticing them." Make sense?

Raschaverak Wrote:I want to be in loooooove

But I probably was not long ago....

Ok. Now I know what to do. I've realized my plan, now it's time to take action.
Happy easter everyone!

Blahah Wrote:Also, don't forget to get regular exercise.

I can't believe that this thread reached the fourth page without mentioning this. Exercise is essential. Even if you think you have other higher priorities, put regular exercise first. If you're not convinced, Google the connection between exercise and psychological well-being.

vileru Wrote:

Blahah Wrote:Also, don't forget to get regular exercise.

I can't believe that this thread reached the fourth page without mentioning this. Exercise is essential. Even if you think you have other higher priorities, put regular exercise first. If you're not convinced, Google the connection between exercise and psychological well-being.

YES YES YES!

Just got a new job, startig 2 weeks from now on. It's a big IT company so we'll see...
On the other hand I need to get regular exercise

Raschaverak Wrote:Just got a new job, startig 2 weeks from now on. It's a big IT company so we'll see...
On the other hand I need to get regular exercise

That's awesome, well done Raschaverak What does the new job entail? Programming?

Thanks for closing my thread Zgarbas. As you have so much ***** time on your hands, you might want to delete all of them while you`re at it. Thanks

I hope I'm not banned for this, but I think one thing really dragging down this forum has been the horrible moderation over the years. Users who didn't really do anything wrong have been banned, threads like these are closed. I guess that's why the traffic is so low and the recent posts thing is almost empty at times. Why clamp down on interesting discussions? IMO, the best moderation is to have almost no moderation, except to restrict hateful speech, insults, flame wars, memes and spam.

To review Physics/math/finance, go to khanacademy.org
Review them in your spare time.

Eikyu Wrote:I hope I'm not banned for this, but I think one thing really dragging down this forum has been the horrible moderation over the years. Users who didn't really do anything wrong have been banned, threads like these are closed. I guess that's why the traffic is so low and the recent posts thing is almost empty at times. Why clamp down on interesting discussions? IMO, the best moderation is to have almost no moderation, except to restrict hateful speech, insults, flame wars, memes and spam.

Oh please~

There hasn't been "moderation" up till about a year ago, prior to that it was just the admin of the board moderating. Most bans have been troll accounts and spammers. And threads have been getting closed because they turn into hotbeds of mostly unconstructive arguing. The only reason the other thread was closed as far as I can tell, is because THE SAME POSTER made practically the SAME thread on the SAME THING, except they did it a year later. He could have just bumped this thread and asked "Its been a year, I still want to be a physicist and make bank, what should i do?!1??111!"

Were I moderator you'd see even more threads closed because I think redundant threads are a waste of space. General forum etiquette usually states that if there's already a current thread on the matter, don't make another. Of course forum etiquette also looks poorly on thread necroing but when you're the original thread creator its a bit different.

People just need to learn to be a little less butt-hurt on the internet instead of "He closed my thread!!? T_T How could he!? T_T That bastard!!" = "He shot my dog!! T_T How could he?! That bastard! T_T"

boooo Zgarbas boooooooooooo
The former thread wasn't a "what should I do with my life" question.
It was a "How to get a job in astronomy / cosmology / astrophysics" question.
booooo Zgarbas boooooooo

jk jk.

The traffic is low because
1. There aren't many "new" students of japanese (according to a google trends search of "learning japanese")
2. Most of the questions people have have been answered before

[Zgarbas]

Eikyu Wrote:I hope I'm not banned for this, but I think one thing really dragging down this forum has been the horrible moderation over the years. Users who didn't really do anything wrong have been banned, threads like these are closed. I guess that's why the traffic is so low and the recent posts thing is almost empty at times. Why clamp down on interesting discussions? IMO, the best moderation is to have almost no moderation, except to restrict hateful speech, insults, flame wars, memes and spam.

IIRC the only people that have been banned since the new moderators started was warakawa and his multis (correct me if I'm wrong). And the occasional spammer, but I don't think that counts.

Threads are closed because they turned into meaningless but heated discussion, if not all out flame war, but generally discussions gone awry, which go against forum policy (piracy, spam, anki threads, what not), and the occasional random time when we want to remind people of some guidelines (e.g. while no one is going to close the occasional thread asking what a phrase is, if someone posts such topics multiple times the thread will be closed with a reminder to stick to the what's this phrase thread). The latter is the least enforced. Actually, most guidelines are not that strictly enforced, because usually they do not need to be. For the most part there is little moderation. Not even all the reported posts get deleted/modified unless the person who sees it really feels it's necessary.

I am not sure where you get the recent posts being empty thing; there's almost always something on my list and I'm online pretty often. Traffic is low because it is a forum dedicated to a pretty niche target.

The thread was closed because the OP makes such a thread every few months or so, and has done so for a while. Feel free to look at his posts and notice that almost all of them are threads where he goes from one potential career to another and asks for advice. I have asked him previously to keep to one thread to prevent forum clutter, without closing the thread. And yet he did not say anything then, and did not hesitate to start yet another thread. Thus I closed it. The problem was not one person making a post about astronomy, the problem was a user which clutters the forum.

I hope this clarifies things a bit; I apologize if I made it seem like we're some dictatorial forum who bans everyone who speaks their mind.

Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Anyone has any ideas about this. What I`m trying to pull off here is: to get a bsc and then maybe an msc degree in physics or at least try it, but I can only do it part time, since I have to work full time. I`m willing to relocate to any country where the circumstances are better (If I could get a grant somehow I would even become a full-time student). What I`m missing is a (or more) comprehensive site(s) where all the info is there. Randomly searching the internet did not bring anything up (eg. keywords like: part-time physics course, student loan, part-time student loan, ect.)

[RawToast]

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

That's just how it is in the UK. Want to retrain because you feel your degree is not relevant? Sorry you must now pay thousands (for conversion MSc, another degree, or professional training).

I had to get a postgraduate loan for my MSc. Nothing special it was 0% (and no payments) whilst I was on the course and then jumped to 13.x% afterwards!

Quote:Traffic is low because it is a forum dedicated to a pretty niche target.

This place is busy compared to other JLPT forums I've lurked on!

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Anyone has any ideas about this. What I`m trying to pull off here is: to get a bsc and then maybe an msc degree in physics or at least try it, but I can only do it part time, since I have to work full time. I`m willing to relocate to any country where the circumstances are better (If I could get a grant somehow I would even become a full-time student). What I`m missing is a (or more) comprehensive site(s) where all the info is there. Randomly searching the internet did not bring anything up (eg. keywords like: part-time physics course, student loan, part-time student loan, ect.)

How old are you?

I started lurking the chinese forums (http://www.chinese-forums.com) and it appears there is some sort of scholarship you can get that basically gives you a full ride to some college in China for 4 years plus 2(?) years of language study, but there are age restrictions. I think there is a similar thing program for Japan, and I wouldn't be surprised if other countries also had this type of thing.

(I've never really looked into it, so forgive me if I am getting some of the facts wrong.)

Yeah, I`m 28. I would be interested in the japanese version of this particular scholarship. Could you provide me with some more details?

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Anyone has any ideas about this. What I`m trying to pull off here is: to get a bsc and then maybe an msc degree in physics or at least try it, but I can only do it part time, since I have to work full time. I`m willing to relocate to any country where the circumstances are better (If I could get a grant somehow I would even become a full-time student). What I`m missing is a (or more) comprehensive site(s) where all the info is there. Randomly searching the internet did not bring anything up (eg. keywords like: part-time physics course, student loan, part-time student loan, ect.)

Aren't universities in mainland Europe free/much cheaper?

If you already have a degree I don't understand why you're going for a BSc. I cannot see any benefit of a further undergraduate qualification, especially not a part time one. Just teach yourself while working and take a year out for a Masters once you've reached the required level if you really want to (if you're really interested in physics this should be no problem).

MEXT undergraduate scholarship cutoff age is 22.