Hey Raschaverak, I feel like I'm in pretty much the same boat as you are, only I'm even older (29). I forgot everything I learned for my major in school (accounting) and have no experience in the field, and I honestly don't really even have any desire to work in that field. Right now just working at a lame customer service job, which doesn't pay much but gets me by. But I am planning to go back to school soon, I just have no idea what to do.

But, if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be to just DO SOMETHING. It doesn't matter what you do, just don't stop and get caught in a cycle where you are doing nothing. As long as you do something, more opportunities can open up for you, and you can still keep thinking about what you want to do in your life. And if you happen to end up doing something you hate, it will still build character and even give you a lot more incentive to figure out what you really want to do.
Just my 2 cents.

People "grow up" when they learn to take responsibility for themselves.

The most well adjusted people I have met are usually those that found a job, moved away from home at a young age, moved countries etc. On the flip-side, I know people that are perpetual children; they seem to constantly rely on family, friends , partners for emotional and financial support, and let others sort out bad situations rather than deal with it themselves.

Get a job. Then move out. Feel responsible for your own life. Once you've achieved stability, then start thinking about your career. You're still young, so don't have to decide exactly what to do with your life just yet!

I've found this thread quite encouraging. I'm 27 in the summer and I've got some serious work to do to get my career on track. I've got to overcome some health issues first, which could take some time, and I was worrying I'd be too old to get an entry level job by the time I'm ready, but it does seem like there's a good number of people who start late.

I have a rough plan laid out in my head, and I'm pretty determined to carry it through. This is why I don't think Raschaverak should rush too much. Setting out some goals is really important, and they have to be things you really want to achieve. You're going to have a lot of setbacks in achieving short-term goals, but knowing you're working towards something in the long-term will give you what you need to stay positive and motivated.

As for the depression, I still think there's so much more you could be doing for it than taking drugs. You only have to type the word into a science site to see the kind of things it's linked to. If you wear depression blinkers you'll be blind to all the other things your body is trying to tell you. Whatever happened to the idea of a cure anyway? Why are we all so content with indefinite symptomatic treatments that tax our livers and give us the shits?

Yesterday, I've met a lot of people who are in my shoes, basically, closer to 30 than me, and still no normal jobs, girlfriends, still living with their parents ect. If I add up after 18 I've lived 2 years with my parents, the rest alone, so it's not that bad, it's just the bad economic situation and such that I'm stuck here. And also the lack of a plan. But I guess I've figured it out now: I want to study something ITis, so I want to be an IT guy. My next step is to go to Vienna, find a job, and study on the side for a few years. The education is free of charge there for everybody, and the university is pretty much well known, and it's not far away, if anything I can come back not to mention the cost of travelling is low. So this is what I'm gonna do. Now I'm off learning french and applying for jobs.
By the way, anyone knows what happened to Nest0r and Bodishayama?

[ファブリス]

OP Wrote:By the way, anyone knows what happened to Nest0r and Bodishayama?

nestOr was arguing in a ridiculously long thread about some other website's business model. He didn't like one my comments, which was largely aimed at him and Bodhisamaya, both frequent posters whom I was hoping would lead by example and quit arguing.

nestOr decided to leave. Obviously it wasn't just this incident, and I am certainly not innocent as I had made a few irritated comments in his general direction in the past. The sort of things everyone does once in a while, but I'm the admin, and that didn't go down well. Personally, I think based on some of his posts, that he might have felt a little bit like the admin's "protégé". That's understandable if you post a lot, and you see participation from the admin in your thread... But I do not favour people with a huge post count. Hence his indignation.

After nestOr self-immolated, Bodhisamaya sent me a polite, brief email asking to be removed as well.

They were an interesting pair. I'm not surprised they both left as they were both participating with a similar dynamic.

ファブリス Wrote:nestOr decided to leave. Obviously it wasn't just this incident, and I am certainly not innocent as I had made a few irritated comments in his general direction in the past. The sort of things everyone does once in a while, but I'm the admin, and that didn't go down well. Personally, I think based on some of his posts, that he might have felt a little bit like the admin's "protégé". That's understandable if you post a lot, and you see participation from the admin in your thread... But I do not favour people with a huge post count. Hence his indignation.

I feel it's rather unnecessary and unfair to speculate about what nest0r was thinking or feeling. Especially since they are not here to respond. Nestor (and a couple others) stated their reasonable and specific objections to the manner in which you ended those discussions (not your right to end them). I don't see why we can't simply accept those reasons at face value.

I can't speak on Nest0r's behalf of course, but I feel compelled to at least respond. (Pls don't let this trigger another debate.)

I didn't get the impression that Nestor felt entitled to special treatment for having a high post count. (If that were their objective, they probably wouldn't have spread their post counts among multiple account/personas.) Like any other active member, I'm sure nest0r had reasons for participating in this community. One obvious one was an interest in research and sharing knowledge.

Before leaving, nest0r made a reference to their contributions to the wiki, etc. I didn't take this as suggesting they were beyond reproach. I took it as as hinting that perhaps you were not being entirely balanced in your assessment of their value here.

The source of their indignation was stated to be your apparent bias in singling them out for blame and an involuntary "time out" even though others were engaging in similar behaviour.

You've remarked in the past that it annoys you that certain people act like they own this place. You've also commented that this forum is largely self-regulating. I suppose some active members play a role in keeping the quality of discussion from deteriorating into the nonsense and offensiveness that can be found elsewhere on the net. And when active members go too far, people let them know. We may not always like everyone's style of communication, but we can at least try to balance that against their generous contributions. Self-regulation involves some trade-offs.

Quote:nestOr was arguing in a ridiculously long thread about some other website's business model. He didn't like one my comments, which was largely aimed at him and Bodhisamaya, both frequent posters whom I was hoping would lead by example and quit arguing.

I understand that you felt they ought to set a better example by ignoring provocations, but your comments were not limited to that. You chose instead to sarcastically criticize what one side was trying to say before closing a topic. (My comments, in particular, were snidely and grossly misrepresented. But maybe you were attempting to bookend the thread...?)

I also appreciate that you want to avoid topics which create animosity and to remind people not to make comments which would unfairly damage someone's reputation. But the way you terminated the threads went beyond that. As mentioned by others, aggressively participating on "one side" before reprimanding and threatening to ban only those on "the other side" created some bad optics. (Yes, I realize you're only human.)

(Incidentally, one point several people tried to make was that there needn't be "sides". Much of nest0r's arguing was about defending the ability to criticize specifics without facing personal attacks. Threads about that topic seem to trigger heated participation and strange trolling from some folks who otherwise do not participate here much or at all.)

Quote:After nestOr self-immolated, Bodhisamaya sent me a polite, brief email asking to be removed as well.

Hmm, I'm also not sure this contrasting characterization is warranted. If by "self-immolated" you assume that Nest0r left on principle to make a statement about what they perceived as biased or unfair treatment, that would apply to Bodhisayama as well. But "self-immolation" conveys a sense of irrational, obsessive, extreme self-harm which strikes me as rather unfortunate and unfair editorializing. Bodhisamaya (and people trying to silence criticism) were no less heated in that and subsequent related threads which were closed.

Quote:They were an interesting pair. I'm not surprised they both left as they were both participating with a similar dynamic.

I was actually very surprised, and disappointed, that they left as a result of that thread. As the person who started the thread, I feel some guilt. The forum lost 2 contributors and 2 people quit something they enjoyed. What a shame.

Not sure I'd consider them a pair. nest0r and bodhisayama were very different personalities who often didn't see eye to eye on issues. [They had different priorities and styles of communication in that thread.] Again, others participating "with a similar dynamic" [if I'm understanding you correctly] did not feel the need to leave.

[I can understand if you want people to know they weren't banned. I just think it's possible to make that point more objectively.]

[Edits]
Excuse the interruption. I'll let you get back to helping the OP get back on his feet. :-)

彼(彼女？)はもっと前におかしかったけどそれだけはいいだろう。でもあの有名なスレの中に大変おかしくなっちゃった…そして消えちゃった。　それだけじゃ…

追伸　彼はこの文章を読めないだろう…

[ファブリス]

Thora Wrote:(Pls don't let this trigger another debate.)

That's a good one.

Thora Wrote:I didn't get the impression that (...)

Oh you didn't? Intead you got another impression? Well I just stated mine.

Thora Wrote:(...) you were not being entirely balanced in your assessment of their value here.

I don't really assess the "value" of someone's contributions, when solving flame threads and otherwise divisive posts/topics. I'm not even sure what you're trying to say. Either way nestOr's account was not deleted. He left.

Thora Wrote:The source of their indignation was stated to be your apparent bias in singling them out for blame and an involuntary "time out" even though others were engaging in similar behaviour.

Yes and I just (again) commented on that.

Thora Wrote:You've remarked in the past that it annoys you that certain people act like they own this place.

I may have said something like that but it's not so much about owning the place. I was just annoyed by their numerous posts which were more often than not a way of establishing their identity and self-worth. That's my intepretation, or opinion.

I'm not perfect. It's called ego. In any case, I never banned them did I ? They left.

Thora Wrote:You've also commented that this forum is largely self-regulating. I suppose some active members play a role in keeping the quality of discussion from deteriorating into the nonsense and offensiveness that can be found elsewhere on the net. And when active members go too far, people let them know. We may not always like everyone's style of communication, but we can at least try to balance that against their generous contributions. Self-regulation involves some trade-offs.

Sorry, you lost me. I get dumber and dumber lately. Plain english please.

Thora Wrote:My comments, in particular, were snidely and grossly misrepresented. But maybe you were attempting to bookend the thread...?)

Ah ha. So this is what this reply is all about. Do we need to go over these again so you can find deep peace and happiness or shall we just move on? Or shall we continue to suppose that the admin ought to be perfectly balanced in his posts at all times, and assume that there is a right and correct way to solve this?

Thora Wrote:Hmm, I'm also not sure this contrasting characterization is warranted. If by "self-immolated" you assume that Nest0r left on principle to make a statement about what they perceived as biased or unfair treatment, that would apply to Bodhisayama as well. But "self-immolation" conveys a sense of irrational, obsessive, extreme self-harm which strikes me as rather unfortunate and unfair editorializing. Bodhisamaya (and people trying to silence criticism) were no less heated in that and subsequent related threads which were closed.

So... much... words.... meaning.... literal truth.... I don't know.... braiiiiin... hurtsssssss....

I'm really sorry, but like I said to IceCream in a private email, I am on a sorta epiphany. If I had better times here, it was because I was trying so hard not to be rejected you see. I was so afraid of having my poor little ego teared to shreds. I will still answer in some way as I do here, but I also don't really give a damn all that much anymore.

So while I question the meaning of words and the nature of thought itself, please forgive me for my lack of prose.

I sense there may be tension here, and I deplore that. And I hope not to create much more tension, it's also plainly evident that this post is really only you and me. Therefore I'm not that all concerned about the liveliness and general mood of the forum. If other members do find my post disturbing, then by all means please PM me (to not derail further and I will take your message with consideration, for real :p).

Thora Wrote:I was actually very surprised, and disappointed, that they left as a result of that thread. As the person who started the thread, I feel some guilt. The forum lost 2 contributors and 2 people quit something they enjoyed. What a shame.

Yes and since they left many new people have registered. Some have participated here. How are we to judge these new members' participation any less relevant than that of a 5000+ post count member?

I'll tell you my real, deep gut feeling about nestOr: he wasn't authentic. Very little came through behind his wall of words. That's what personally annoyed me. It wasn't specifically that he joked in my ufo/alternative topics, really. And why did he post scientific papers on meditation? Was he really interested in it? I doubt it. He seemed more interested in maintaining his "nestOr" profile.

Did he and Bodhi make valuable contributions? Of course they did.

One thing I don't do on this forum, is make "public" recognition of people's contributions.

You see, of course all that would end up doing is create more division.

Just the same way as I can't "moderate" perfectly all the time, I wouldn't be able to recognize people's contribution in a completely balanced way either.

Therefore I try to be neutral towards people's contribution. Therefore I obviously can't "regret" that nestOr or Bodhi are gone when they are plenty of new members who can also make valuable contributions.

This stuff is funny you know. It's exactly like Alan Watts explains. nestOr had to leave precisely because of how he pictured himself. And I "singled him" out precisely because of how I picture him...

Thora Wrote:Not sure I'd consider them a pair. nest0r and bodhisayama were very different personalities who often didn't see eye to eye on issues. [They had different priorities and styles of communication in that thread.] Again, others participating "with a similar dynamic" [if I'm understanding you correctly] did not feel the need to leave.

Haha well that's the big show that Buddhists call "maya". Bodhi and nestOr were essentially both maintaining an identity. Somewhat like experts. What yo ucall "different personalities" are just decorations. The underlying dynamic is the same. But that's probably beyond this topic.

I expressed my gut feeling about nestOr about. I feel that Bodhisamaya was also in a way, maintaining some kind of profile. He had sometimes a good joke, and I really enjoyed his sense of humour, but more often than not it seemed to me his comments were passive aggressive.

This "pair" was constantly making quips and little jokes and passive aggressive comments that were more about themselves than about the subject topic. That's what was getting to my nerves, I think more than anything it's why I "singled them" out in whatever topic it was.

Thora Wrote:[I can understand if you want people to know they weren't banned. I just think it's possible to make that point more objectively.]

Alrighty then. Let's have the literal truth. Let's have the perfect, correct way of doing this. Because the mind assumes there is of course a perfect, correct way of doing things. Let's have it! (no need to argue here, I'm obviously teasing you).

[ファブリス]

Please please please quote me. I really need this sort of exercise you see. Then maybe I'll eventually pop a brain cell somewhere and realize the futility of all this. Let's wrestle with words once more Thora! Plz?

I mean I'm really not hard to argue with. First off, I'm really lame at philosophy so you can draw me in a corner pretty quick. I think your best line of attack would be to draw my ego out so that I can post something really nasty.

You know when nestOr joked in my "crop circle" thread eons ago, I owe him a lot!!

I felt really hurt not so much by his words; but by the internal turmoil of trying to prop up my image as someone "open minded" who was into these fringe topics. Haha. It led to a period of silence, and then I did several weeks of meditation. He really put me back on track.

So bring it on!!

[ファブリス]

This is all a big game you see.

Bring it!!

[ファブリス]

Ok, lol I need to calm down.

Haha, sorry, you don't really need to argue with me.

Obviously no bad feelings involved.

I'm feel like Truman Burbank when he finds the wall with the sky painted on it, except I can't find the frickin' door!!

Frickin words. They are the bricks that hold the wall together.

OP: When I was 18 I got into university despite a very disadvantaged background which earnt me a letter from the Prime Minister. I then worked hard to get a degree and was sickened by the way other students got better marks, were allowed to redo work, go on holiday, had spent 6 years in Japan, the scum in charge of the course passing people who know way deserved it, people using electronic dictionaries in exams etc, etc

I was exhausted and livid by the time my degree and realised that I had wasted six years of my life (two at college plus four at university) to get a degree people who put no effort in also received (I am not saying it was just me in this boat). I took time out, got a job and get a new hobby.

Eventually I volunteered in a public school, worked as a translator in Japan (It is my cover picture on Facebook which you can see on my site) and started playing chess which I am really enjoying

My advise to you would be:

1 Accept that the education system screws a lot of people over and a lot of people worldwide are (rightfully) livid
2 Take up a hobby and pursue goals that are meaningful to YOU (kanji gold in my case)
3 Don't self destruct and be consciously aware how easy it is to self destruct when you are depressed.
4 Take up a good hobby that doesn't involve drugs or Alcohol.

Raschaverak, it seems you've been trapped in a negative loop. Lately I've been reading some articles that could be of help for people with that kind of problem. If people don't mind, I would like to share my view on them, in hope they are useful.

Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that, instead of dealing with mental illness (as most people probably think when they hear about psychology), it deals with mental wellness, how it works and how to get there.

Of particular interest is the concept of learned optimism. The idea put simply is that optimism is a skill, and as any skill, it can be cultivated. You do it by challenging your negative self talk.

People have explanatory styles for rationalizing they own behaviour and what happens around them. These explanatory styles have 3 basic aspects:

- Permanence
- Pervasiveness
- Personalization

Quote:The optimist's outlook on failure can thus be summarized as "What happened was an unlucky situation (not personal), and really just a setback (not permanent) for this one, of many, goals (not pervasive)".

On the other hand, pessimistic people tend to go the opposite way, so they tend to think more like this:

"What happened was my fault, due to a flaw in me (personal), it's been always like this / it'll be always like this (permanent) and it reflects how I see my whole life / the world (pervasive)".

If you learn to catch negative thoughts when they come to you, and learn to counter them, you can learn to be more optimistic, which in turn will make you feel better, which will help you act better, and eventually you can get into a virtuous circle.

I know it's easier said than done, but there's nothing lost in posting.

Good luck!

Sebastian Wrote:Raschaverak, it seems you've been trapped in a negative loop. Lately I've been reading some articles that could be of help for people with that kind of problem. If people don't mind, I would like to share my view on them, in hope they are useful.

Positive psychology is a branch of psychology that, instead of dealing with mental illness (as most people probably think when they hear about psychology), it deals with mental wellness, how it works and how to get there.

Of particular interest is the concept of learned optimism. The idea put simply is that optimism is a skill, and as any skill, it can be cultivated. You do it by challenging your negative self talk.

People have explanatory styles for rationalizing they own behaviour and what happens around them. These explanatory styles have 3 basic aspects:

- Permanence
- Pervasiveness
- Personalization

Quote:The optimist's outlook on failure can thus be summarized as "What happened was an unlucky situation (not personal), and really just a setback (not permanent) for this one, of many, goals (not pervasive)".

On the other hand, pessimistic people tend to go the opposite way, so they tend to think more like this:

"What happened was my fault, due to a flaw in me (personal), it's been always like this / it'll be always like this (permanent) and it reflects how I see my whole life / the world (pervasive)".

If you learn to catch negative thoughts when they come to you, and learn to counter them, you can learn to be more optimistic, which in turn will make you feel better, which will help you act better, and eventually you can get into a virtuous circle.

I know it's easier said than done, but there's nothing lost in posting.

Good luck!

Yes, I know I should be more positive, and I'm trying as well, believe me....
I will find a way to get this negativity out of me, and today I've relaized that actually I'm a positive person, and love living. At my core. But somehow on the surface I act negative all the time (at least more often than not) it's a joke. So there is a tension how I want to behave / think and how I actually do, adn I guess this causes the depression: the missed opportunities, and the negativity. I've been searching a bit on the net and I've found a technique called EFT with which I might be able to get rid of the negativity. If anyone has any ideas, please share! Another technique I've found so far is CBT: cognitive behavioral theraphy. And hypnosis. Both cost a lot of money though...

[Zgarbas]

CBT for depression? That's an odd choice. Aren't there other forms of therapy better suited for it?

(not a specialist, so I may be talking out of my ass here. It's just that I've not met anyone following CBT for this)

Zgarbas Wrote:CBT for depression? That's an odd choice. Aren't there other forms of therapy better suited for it?

(not a specialist, so I may be talking out of my ass here. It's just that I've not met anyone following CBT for this)

No,no not for depression, see I need to get rid of the negativity inside me. I think the depression is a sign of that, it's the negativity in the extreme. Even if we get rid of the extreme negativity, it's not enough, I need to go deeper, to the core. By the way, as I see there are a lot of techniques out there, so it's hard to choose.

I read a bit about CBT before, and it seems to be on the right track, but it's also a little contrived. You draw up diagrams and lists and other stuff that some people might not feel comfortable with. ACT is a similar approach that seems more natural to me. The Happiness Trap gives a good account of this. In either case, I think you'd be fine without a therapist if money is an issue. Just make sure you get a decent book. Both of them are just mindfulness rip-offs that do their best to avoid the "B" word, so you could go straight to the source. Full Catastrophe Living is the book that really turned my bad habits around.

Rewire Your Brain is another great book that takes a different angle. It's basically an overview of modern neuroscience, but with a focus on using it to overcome stress/anxiety and negative habits. Once you have some idea of what's going on in your brain/mind it's so much easier to control. Simply becoming aware of the fact that you are in control can be pretty enlightening. Your brain will learn to think pretty much whatever you want it to if you get it into the habit of doing so.

The single most important thing you can do is learn exactly what a stress response is and how to sense when you're having one, no matter how subtle. Once you're in control of that, even if you think negative crap all day, at least you won't be suffering the horrific physiological damage that stress brings about (Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers has all you need to know about the physiology of stress). With all the talk about abstract things like positivity and mentality, you forget that you're doing real physical damage to your body with your negativity, worrying, aggression and anything else that triggers a stress response.

The physical aspect is also bi-directional. Don't assume that all your problems are a result of your mind. If your diet is poor and you have any kind of digestive issues, it can really affect your brain and mood. Something like 80% of neurotransmitters are produced in your gut, so if things are a mess down there, all the mindfulness in the world will only get you so far. Excess simple sugars and starches and a lack of essential fatty acids can directly impact your brain as well. Even after being well in control of my thought patterns and stress response for many months, I was struggling to stop myself from being irritable and reacting to the kind of nonsense I used to after eating junk food for three days straight. Lifestyle factors like eating and sleeping patterns, amount of exercise, substance abuse etc need to be accounted for too.

I believe it's possible to get great results with the psychological techniques alone, but you make things so much easier for yourself if your general health is good too. Depression is really just a name for some symptoms, and doesn't describe what's causing your problems, which is no doubt something completely unique to you and your lifestyle. You don't want all the aspirin you're prescribed to make you oblivious of the tack in your ass.

[Zgarbas]

I did CBT, but it's a long and slow process and in the end it's all up to you anyway. Sure, your therapist will give you hints, help you understand your brain's triggers and all that, but you're doing most of the work. Since money seems to be an issue for you, you could just try diet alteration, getting some sunlight and what Javizy said (which really do work for many people), or you could just start working out your negativity on your own. It will be harder than with therapy, of course, but it will be much better than waiting till you can afford it.

Basically, whatever you do, just don't stagnate. Stagnation is the mind-killer.

move out of home. Stop being financially dependent on your parents or state grants (for study or unemployment on whatever else). When your way is paid for you it's easy to be complacent and wait for the possibilities you dream of to be handed to you by the world. And because you don't have to work for anything, you'll never be satisfied. When you work for yourself, and realize further success is dependent on whether or not you can be bothered making it happen or not, you'll be able to decide for yourself at what point you're happy to be complacent because further reward isn't worth the further effort required. When your life requires no effort on your part, you won't be happy. Start living as if you have no money in your bank account and no one to pay your bills.

nadiatims Wrote:move out of home. Stop being financially dependent on your parents or state grants (for study or unemployment on whatever else). When your way is paid for you it's easy to be complacent and wait for the possibilities you dream of to be handed to you by the world. And because you don't have to work for anything, you'll never be satisfied. When you work for yourself, and realize further success is dependent on whether or not you can be bothered making it happen or not, you'll be able to decide for yourself at what point you're happy to be complacent because further reward isn't worth the further effort required. When your life requires no effort on your part, you won't be happy. Start living as if you have no money in your bank account and no one to pay your bills.

It's not that simple. I have been living on my own for a while, from my own salary. I was happy at the begginning then somehow everything fell apart. Besides I've been thinking about this, if I would be more motivated to do things If I had noone to support me. Nope. I'm highly motivated on my own - professionals said that No the problem is deeper than that, as If I would like to suffer, and I want to be negative. At least that's how I work. I'm positive at the very core, but there is some serious negative shit around it which won't let it shine at all. Of course I will move out maybe next week, but at this point I don't know what's gonna happen. But I won't give in

I once had a therapist and she helped me with CBT. It helped clear up whatever issues were bugging me, but it is a slow process. If you decide to do it (which wouldn't hurt, right?) I'd recommend keeping a journal. Even before I started therapy I kept a journal with me, which made the CBT much simpler.
CBT and journaling for the most part put your emotions and thoughts into rational terms, which I've found does two things: 1) rationalizing my thoughts "disconnects" myself emotionally from them, which makes it 2) easier to work though.

I've tried EFT and found it to provide quick relief actually. To start out, I recommend tapping.com Tho, I've only used it for a few weeks, so I don't know much else about it. Haven't used it since, but I think there's something to it...

Sorry for necroing a thread, I didn't want to open a new one.
I have a question, which occured to me right now.
How do you know if somebody is "suitable" for life? Wait, I mean sy who knows "how to live" or "use all opportunities for the best".
That's it, the last one: how to learn to use your opportunities? How do you recognize them?
Seems I always miss them, or realize / notice the open door to late, just about when it closes, and it annoyes me to hell, because I know any other normal person would've gone through that door....

I'm curious because I think I do not have that much what it takes. Let me explain it through a short story which happened today: I was at a recruitment company, who called me in for the second round before going to an Assesment Center next week. They explained to me that there's going to be a test (hard one, about logistics) and here it is, take a look at it (cheating, yes). Then the 2 HR personnel told me "take a look at it, on your own we are going to leave for a few minutes" and they left... and here is what I missed: I should've taken a picture of the damned papers with my cellphone. I think this is what they wanted me to do, and I just realized it too late, after 4-5 minutes I thought "hey let's take a picture of it" but then they just came back.
Damn, and it annoyes me to hell to miss something so obvious. I've been like this since 2-3 years, like I can't use my opportunities, can't seize them somehow, or just too late.
How do you fix that? Using your instincts more? Intuition? More real-life experience? Don't know what to do....

ummm... is the fact that it didn't occur to you to cheat something you really want to be bothered about? reallllly?? lololol! gosh, what an awful-abominable-wretch-of-a-loser-not-even-worth-being-classed-a-human-being you must be for not doing that...

Where I come from that would be a good sign to hire you.

Well... I'm 27, broke, job-less, car-less, back home, living with my mother and her husband, and I have less then $500 to my name. I went to school, got a degree in Marketing & Entrepreneurship, pursued the latter, and was on the way to having it all. So ... how did I get here? That's a long story. So let's just say a series of unfortunate events.

Am I lost, confused, and depressed? Hell no! I'm motivated to get back to where I was and much further. I live by the motto that was on the banner of my Saturday detention classroom, "Aim for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

Now I have nothing and have lost what little I had, basically back to when I was 17. However, I have a few friends and family, and that enough. (even if they don't support my outlandish goals)

You say you are 27 at it's too late. Rubbish! I know a bunch of people who are our age or older who are just now getting their bachelors or associates degrees . I had cops, receptionists, exterminators, all over 30 in my marketing classes. So don't feel bad. My collage roomate is working in an airport, checking tickets and helping people before they board planes (a job that does not require a degree, nor pay well). The economy sucks right now, but he doesn't let it get to him, instead he is planning to go back to school to get a graduate degree, and he is 27 as well.

You don't know what to do? Then go try a few things and see what you like. I tried IT, hated it, changed majors (even though I great at it). I have a marketing degree, hated sales (even though I'm really good at it). With my current philosophical/spiritual outlook I will never work for alcohol or banking industries. THat leaves very little for me to do with my skillset. In a sense, my degree is useless, and my experience in nonexistent.

After my set back, I was a bit depressed, but then something snapped and I realized that if I want to achieve anything I need to get my ass moving. So I made a plan and I've tried to stay busy. I made a spreadsheet of all my goals and targets, then put them on a timeline that ends when I turn 30 (only 29 months to go). I also take a notepad and write down all my goal for the week and look at it everyday.

My advice is simple
1) Get busy and stay busy. Get a job, hobby, girlfriend, etc.
2) Make a plan. My plans get more outlandish every-time, but I'm always optimistic, even if I fail miserably.