This thread is a giant facepalm...

Zon70, I think you need to rethink your life. A lot of people who find this thread amusing are laughing at your expense.

You come off as being misguided and as having silly goals.

Zon70 Wrote:in the end a girl from Taiwan isnt going to get me a Japanese visa, so its a no go(unfortunately) for them.

I'll just repeat what has been said before (though differently). Marrying a woman for a means to and end (get Japanese visa), is only a recipe for disaster in my opinion. I'm not going to say its impossible to find a woman that would marry you but here are your criteria since you aren't in Japan.

1) Have no problem with a woman aged 30-40.
2) If you are younger than the age range above, you will also need to be lucky, sauve, or rich.

At that age range above women start to become desperate to get married. This is why arranged marriages are still pretty common in Japan. However, I still doubt a person will agree to up and marry someone they have only met online if they don't have a career they can bring over or are stinking rich.

And just a small hypocrisy check, but I'm going to assume the idea of a woman from Russia/China digging for an American green card is a'ok in your books then?

thistime Wrote:*Japanese men*

Maybe its because I'm a guy and I only ever heard guys talking about how hot American women are. But it has always seemed to me that its a combination of the things you mentioned, plus the fact that I think many men are tired of Japanese women (in appearance). It probably doesn't help that much of their entertainment industry is inundated with western/american content so many of these men/boys grow up seeing these big titted (compared to Jp girls) skinny actresses. I often wonder if you were to do the reverse with the US media; tons of Japanese actresses, would you end up with a similar effect where men lust after asian women (not saying they don't already)? Its really bad too in Japan because many of the girls feel a strong need to "look" Western as well. I've mentioned this in another thread, but if you look at the celebrity base in Japan, most celebrities have well defined nose bridges (vs flat/concave bridges). Japanese think this is very western and say "鼻が高い." There is also a focus on increasing breast size as well, though that's present in the states as well.

I think the most amusing thing though is if you could take Japanese guys to the states and take them to a Walmart; they'd reconsider their opinion about "all american women" FAST. Unfortunately I can't say the same about Japanese women really unless you want to talk about teeth.

IceCream Wrote:

Zon70 Wrote:despite the hottness of taiwanese girls, in the end a girl from Taiwan isnt going to get me a Japanese visa, so its a no go(unfortunately) for them.

gosh, i think they'll be slitting their wrists over this loss.

You know, Zon70, girls are smart. I have no idea if it's the only reason, but the fact that you're both desperate and only out to use them is going to drive them away. They pick up on that sort of stuff.

[Zgarbas]

Not all of them.

But the ones that do not pick up on that sort of stuff aren't going to be the beautiful, exotic good lookers...

zigmonty Wrote:

IceCream Wrote:

Zon70 Wrote:despite the hottness of taiwanese girls, in the end a girl from Taiwan isnt going to get me a Japanese visa, so its a no go(unfortunately) for them.

gosh, i think they'll be slitting their wrists over this loss.

You know, Zon70, girls are smart. I have no idea if it's the only reason, but the fact that you're both desperate and only out to use them is going to drive them away. They pick up on that sort of stuff.

Also, he has no permission to be in the country long term and may never have it (spousal visa applications CAN be denied, especially if they suspect it is a marriage-for-visa situation), does not have a job in Japan and is perhaps unemployable (at least beyond eikaiwa drone), thus the focus on a spousal visa as a work visa appears out of reach.

Financial security is a big deal for many Japanese women, even if they aren't gold digging.

Get into the country on your own merits, get settled, and then worry about finding a woman for the right reasons.

Zon70 Wrote:

dizmox Wrote:

Zon70 Wrote:I was in Japan for a month and a half and couldnt even find a women there, so maybe I can have better chances on the internet.

What gave you that idea? If you struggle finding a Japanese girl in Japan (every other person I see is a woman) then you must be doing something wrong.

[...]most of it is because most japanese women are just simply not into gaijin nowadays, not western gaijin anyways, korean men are the new flavor now, to get with women who like that type of man I would have to put on eyeliner and make up and go to hair stylist....and well I just simply am not going to do that.

Do you actually believe this?

Really I have no idea how you came up with this idea. :/

vix86 Wrote:

Zon70 Wrote:in the end a girl from Taiwan isnt going to get me a Japanese visa, so its a no go(unfortunately) for them.

And just a small hypocrisy check, but I'm going to assume the idea of a woman from Russia/China digging for an American green card is a'ok in your books then?

I think that would be quite offensive if they did it JUST for a green card. And on the other hand I would be ashamed of myself if I married JUST so I could be able to work in Japan. Its not for the visa, a visa is just something that comes as an added bonus with marriage, like sex. Its like "im set on living in Japan, and marrying a japanese women, so why dont i just get a visa too while im at it?"

@dizmox
just take a look at who the japanese think is the hottest celeberties, and all of them they think korean men are. then look up those men on google to see what they look like.

I think that what most people are saying is, if you want a visa get one by working for a Japanese company. Marrying just for money or a visa will not make you happy in the long term.

Speaking as a woman (and not even a good looking woman, so my standards are not going to be anywhere near as high as an 'beautiful, elegant' woman) there's a lot of things that you're saying that are a huge turn off.
1. Looking for a woman specifically to marry. It reeks of desperation, and desperation is not an attractive quality. Why not settle on simply dating? Dating is nice, and there's no pressure.
2. The focus on wanting to get married for the ability to live in Japan and receive sexual favours. It just comes across as you wanting to use a woman for your own selfish purposes.
3. Objectifying, and putting these women on a pedestal. All you can talk about is how hot, or elegant, or beautiful women are. Maybe it's just me, but men who can only talk about a woman's physical attributes just come across as creepy and gross.
It sounds simply like you're looking for a way out of your league (not to mention out of your country) Stepford Wife who you'll only keep around to ogle, screw, and use for their ability to keep you in their country. I'm not at all surprised that no one is interested.

As a side note: I actually have a friend who is obsessed with Asian women. He'll wear clothing specific to whatever style restaurant he goes to (ie; Korean jacket to a Korean restaurant) or he will use his iPhone to translate phrases like "You have a beautiful smile" to write down on a napkin to give to the servers. He's a really nice guy, but it just comes off as being creepy. I was telling a Japanese friend that he has one of those "Looking for a Japanese girl-friend" shirts, and she looked utterly disgusted. I think her exact words were "That's shameful!"

Jarvik7 Wrote:This thread is a giant facepalm...

i'm actually surprised people bother to give serious advice!


i dunno about the japanese being elegant and exotic.
maybe it's just me being in tokyo but i found a lot of them have the same style and aren't really distinguishable... the dyed hair, the make up, etc.

it's actually gotten to the point where i thought young women with black hair were rare and unique.

Well... I met my wife on one of those dating-sites awhile back. She was 19 at the time... We were just online pen-pals basically until I finally ended up going to Japan and we hit it off pretty well from there. A few years later we ended up getting married. She's really attractive and has AKB comparable looks. I always feel weird when I tell people how we met though. I'd also like to throw in the fact that I am by most people's standards poor. So, anything is possible.

Zon70 Wrote:@dizmox
just take a look at who the japanese think is the hottest celeberties, and all of them they think korean men are. then look up those men on google to see what they look like.

Kind of like the way the average American woman swoons over the Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber? You need a reality check in so many ways. I'd start by reading quark's post.

Hashiriya Wrote:Well... I met my wife on one of those dating-sites awhile back. She was 19 at the time... We were just online pen-pals basically until I finally ended up going to Japan and we hit it off pretty well from there. A few years later we ended up getting married. She's really attractive and has AKB comparable looks. I always feel weird when I tell people how we met though.

I feel the same awkwardness telling people where I met my girlfriend too. Whenever you mention the word 'online' the average person thinks of some sort of dating site for desperate losers. I first met her through pure coincidence on lang-8 of all places, so it's hardly what people would imagine. She's the only person I've ever actually had non-journal-based contact with on there.

Hashiriya Wrote:Well... I met my wife on one of those dating-sites awhile back. She was 19 at the time... We were just online pen-pals basically until I finally ended up going to Japan and we hit it off pretty well from there. A few years later we ended up getting married. She's really attractive and has AKB comparable looks. I always feel weird when I tell people how we met though. I'd also like to throw in the fact that I am by most people's standards poor. So, anything is possible.

thanks for sharing that story, it has given me a confidence boost. see guys this stuff happens all the time.

Zon70 Wrote:

Hashiriya Wrote:Well... I met my wife on one of those dating-sites awhile back. She was 19 at the time... We were just online pen-pals basically until I finally ended up going to Japan and we hit it off pretty well from there. A few years later we ended up getting married. She's really attractive and has AKB comparable looks. I always feel weird when I tell people how we met though. I'd also like to throw in the fact that I am by most people's standards poor. So, anything is possible.

thanks for sharing that story, it has given me a confidence boost. see guys this stuff happens all the time.

I don't think anyone was disputing the use of online dating, it was more that the wording of this sentence that seemed a bit off: "I would really like to find a japanese woman so I can marry them later on." It sounds rather business-like.

Zon70 Wrote:thanks for sharing that story, it has given me a confidence boost. see guys this stuff happens all the time.

Yeah, but it happens to people who want an actual relationship, not a fantasy dream woman who will just instantly wed them, bed them, and allow them to live their fantasy life in a different country.
You come across as someone who doesn't actually like or respect women. You just like them for what you can get out of them. Real relationships don't work that way.

Hashiriya Wrote:Well... I met my wife on one of those dating-sites awhile back. She was 19 at the time... We were just online pen-pals basically until I finally ended up going to Japan and we hit it off pretty well from there.

Same situation here, except she was 20 and we're not married yet...

quark Wrote:I was telling a Japanese friend that he has one of those "Looking for a Japanese girl-friend" shirts, and she looked utterly disgusted. I think her exact words were "That's shameful!"

One of my Japanese girlfriends thinks those shirts are funny. So there you go.

There is nothing shameful about looking for a girlfriend, or even looking for a girlfriend from a given country or culture. We are all free to like whatever we want. If a Japanese girl told me she likes white guys... what do I care? What would that or should that bother me?

I agree, there's nothing shameful about looking for someone to be with, and there's nothing wrong with having a specific preference. You're right, we are free to like what we like.
However, unless the person wearing the shirt has a great sense of humour and treats it as a joke, having that plastered on your chest just comes off as being kind of sad and desperate.
And yes, I'm aware that you can't know which category the person falls into, but I wouldn't want to take the risk of talking to a creeper.
But like you said, your girlfriend thinks the shirts are funny, so I guess there are people who don't get the creepy vibe from them. Who knows, maybe the shirts actually work on the right person?

I wrote this post once but then deleted, now I think I will actually post it anyway. The OP reminds of this scene from Amarcord (this old man on top of the tree is yelling: "Voglio una donna!" ("I want a woman!")) - both, the OP and the old man, are desperate and shout so all the world can hear them.

Waiting anxiously for further development of this thread...

Inny Jan Wrote:I wrote this post once but then deleted, now I think I will actually post it anyway. The OP reminds of this scene from Amarcord (this old man on top of the tree is yelling: "Voglio una donna!" ("I want a woman!")) - both, the OP and the old man, are desperate and shout so all the world can hear them.

Waiting anxiously for further development of this thread...

Oh, I got one better - http://sonichu.com/cwcki/File:WantWoman.jpg

http://www.japansubculture.com/2012/01/y...ach-other/

Gaijinme Wrote:http://www.japansubculture.com/2012/01/y...ach-other/

This article looks at people between 35 and 40. I don't know exact stats but I'm pretty sure your chances of getting married significantly decrease after the age of 30 in all of the developped world. And the reasons sited are basically the same; you get set in your ways and become inflexible or your expectations are too unrealistic and you are holding out for a person that doesn't exist or you are too focused on your own interests like career or hobbies. I don't see this as particularly Japanese.

thistime Wrote:

Gaijinme Wrote:http://www.japansubculture.com/2012/01/y...ach-other/

This article looks at people between 35 and 40. I don't know exact stats but I'm pretty sure your chances of getting married significantly decrease after the age of 30 in all of the developped world. And the reasons sited are basically the same; you get set in your ways and become inflexible or your expectations are too unrealistic and you are holding out for a person that doesn't exist or you are too focused on your own interests like career or hobbies. I don't see this as particularly Japanese.

I don't know. I've ran into a lot of people in the US that have married after 30 in the US, The priorities in the relationship are a little different from someone thats in their 20's but I'd say its still fairly common in the US. Whats pretty "Japanese" about the case of marriage in Japan though is the number that are single and don't really care. The media has gotten off calling them the "sexless generation" because you even have teens saying they don't care to date and don't want sex. Toss on the "herbivore men" and I think you have a pretty unique picture.

I would say that marriage before 30s is actually the exception in Canada (unless they got knocked up), probably because few people even graduate university before they are 25 or so.