Joined: Nov 2005
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As an organizer for a big study group(peaked around 160 members) for the last few years, I would say that have a Japanese boyfriend/girlfriend does little to improve your
ability to learn Japanese.
I've seen many couples with native Japanese and foreigners. The only gaijins that ever had good Japanese were those who lived in Japan. For those who never lived in Japan, there wasn't a single person who ever learned Japanese much from their native Japanese boyfriend/girlfriend.
Teaching Japanese is the last thing any Japanese native wants to do with their significant other. In fact, I'd say that not speaking any Japanese is a plus and will get you more Japanese boyfriends/girlfriends. If they wanted a Japan-o-phile, they'd stay in Japan.
In the end, it's your determination and persistence that is the biggest factor in your progress. I read manga (thanks to Heisig), watch Japanese TV and dramas, and read books on Japanese grammar. That has gotten me a lot farther than anyone I've ever met with a Japanese girlfriend or boyfriend.
In fact, I'd even say that getting a Japanese boyfriend/girlfriend outside of Japan will often end up becoming an obstacle, especially if they are really determined to learn English.
IMHO, the 2 best language partners are:
a)those that don't speak your native language at all
b)a non-native speaker (with a similar background as you) that has become
fluent through their own studies
As for detailed explanations and answers to any questions, just leave it to
books and internet forums. Afterwards, form your own opinions, experiment with
your theories, and adjust them accordingly.
Anyway, sorry for the rant.
Hope this helps.
Joined: Mar 2007
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Well, my assumption is if you are dating an average Japanese man/woman (IN JAPAN), they will be unable to speak English functionally, which is true in my experience.
If you are in a relationship which falls under a), it WILL improve your Japanese drastically at a fast rate. You must either speak (and listen) to your partner about any number of subjects and get your meaning across, or you'll be breaking up pretty quickly (or devolve into sefure). You do need a certain level of ability to start with just to begin the relationship ofcourse.
The ones who don't make any progress are those who simply speak english to their Japanese partner all the time. You won't pick up language ability just through proximity to a Japanese person. Even when I've been with Japanese people with good English ability, I continued to speak Japanese to them, even if they started using English.
You shouldn't expect your partner to be a language teacher. What they are (other than a partner obviously) is a sounding board for your Japanese. If they don't understand what you mean, obviously you're doing something wrong. The advantage you get with being their partner is conversations about topics you wouldn't get with talking to a friend, and the much larger amount of time you'll likely be spending with them. Of course if they say something you don't understand, you can ask them to explain or reword it, but thats not being a teacher.
I don't think this really needs a mention, but not everyone studying Japanese is a Japan-o-phile, even those studying for purely cultural interest. (aka not everyone is wearing Naruto underoos)
Joined: Sep 2006
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Jarvik,
>Getting a native girlfriend/boyfriend is the best way to learn the language big_smile
Well, I would like to remind you that I am talking about a married Japanese woman who wants a conversation partner to improve her English. So while I would agree in general that an English-speaking boyfriend could be a wonderful conversation partner, as she is already married, I don't think she is going to go for this....
