日本での生活は楽しいです。 [Japanese Core 2000 Step 3 - 046]

Core 2000 says it, so it must be true

julianjalapeno Wrote:But I meant its depressing for these women who are so kind and intelligent and warm but have such low self-esteem that they've resigned themselves to doing anything men ask of them.

It is more of an unconscious temporary trade-off for the opportunity to mate with a member of the opposite sex from a vastly different gene pool.

Men don't resign themselves to doing anything women ask in the West? I have dinned at crappy French restaurants wearing uncomfortable clothing listening to stupefying office gossip for hours on end, then paid for the whole miserable experience afterwards. I have also suffered ballet performances, operas, ballroom dancing lessons, on and on... all to satisfy a form of temporary hormonal insanity.

anywhere in the world can be fun as long as you are connected to the internet. (at least that is my point of view)

bodhisamaya Wrote:

julianjalapeno Wrote:But I meant its depressing for these women who are so kind and intelligent and warm but have such low self-esteem that they've resigned themselves to doing anything men ask of them.

It is more of an unconscious temporary trade-off for the opportunity to mate with a member of the opposite sex from a vastly different gene pool.

Men don't resign themselves to doing anything women ask in the West? I have dinned at crappy French restaurants wearing uncomfortable clothing listening to stupefying office gossip for hours on end, then paid for the whole miserable experience afterwards. I have also suffered ballet performances, operas, ballroom dancing lessons, on and on... all to satisfy a form of temporary hormonal insanity.

I see what your saying, but you don't put up with going to some boring BS your girlfriend wants to do out of low self-esteem. You wanna get laid.

Women here are clingy and desperate for male affection, so they put up with some stupid shit (not to say that there aren't such women the world over, but ask a random Japanese girl on the street for sex and she'll walk away briskly, hurt but not wanting to make a scene...do the same to an American girl and she'll slap you).

I think your average-looking Japanese guy would do just as well as some gaijin do if he was more open and showed interest, but showing affection and all that isn't a traditional Japanese value. Kissing in public, for example, isn't half as common as it is back home. One of my friends was out with his wife once when he tried to kiss her and she stops him and goes "kissing in public is what ugly people do."

I'd also like to note that there are plenty of women here who aren't into the foreigner thing. Androgynous Japanese pretty boys all the way.

these threads always are about screwing Japanese girls I swear >_< For the record, my wife never has had a problem kissing in public. Everybody is different despite what the Japanese people say about themselves. If every white person was like me, this world would be screwed.

But generalisations are so much more fun...

I'm starting to get the idea most of you only learned Japanese and moved there in order to get girls, which apparently was much harder for you in your native country. I'd chalk it up to the 'exotic' factor, which seems silly because it's hard for me to think of anyone of Western-European descent as exotic. After reading this thread though I'm sort of surprised, well I knew Japanese men were more traditional in some areas, but I assumed the position of modern women in Japan was much the same as in the West. Although it's slowly becoming less about equality and more about postive discrimination here, which is equally undesirable. Anyway I'm wondering if anyone can tell me if it's really true that in Japan your job is the center of your life, and that you're expected to fullfill a lot more company related social obligations than in the West.

Kuma01 Wrote:I'm starting to get the idea most of you only learned Japanese and moved there in order to get girls, which apparently was much harder for you in your native country.

What a boring overused and untrue sentiment.

Hashiriya Wrote:these threads always are about screwing Japanese girls I swear >_< For the record, my wife never has had a problem kissing in public. Everybody is different despite what the Japanese people say about themselves. If every white person was like me, this world would be screwed.

Don't worry, its called acting cool on the internet. I don't think life in Japan is all about girls,and dare I say if you can't get a girl in your own country you wont get one anywhere else. Unless of course you move to a poor country where girls are offered in prostitution. Besides, you can't live there unless you have a degree/marry a local. And you wan't to choose option 2 because? You learn a hard language to pick up a girl? Or are you planning to sway the girl into taking her out of the country with you. Then whats the point of learning Japanese?

Its for party's isn't it?Have fun ruining your life in Japan with party's you as a "gaijin" shouldn't be attending in the first place. Cause just a little bit of trouble,and get removed from the country,years of learning down the drain. But it won't happen right? You'll make friends real quickly as soon as you step foot there. Perhaps through language exchange--no wait,those are other foreigners who don't make it all the way through,not Japanese.

hmmm

Quote:Before coming here, I was a "fun addict" that makes crazy parties twice a week and would never hesitate to do stupid things in public if asked to do!

From my experience on the internet, there seems to be quite a lot of exhibitionism and other lewd behaviour in Japan. I'm sure you'll fit right in.

Tzadeck Wrote:

Kuma01 Wrote:I'm starting to get the idea most of you only learned Japanese and moved there in order to get girls, which apparently was much harder for you in your native country.

What a boring overused and untrue sentiment.

Yea I moved here for manga and video games.

julianjalapeno Wrote:But I meant its depressing for these women who are so kind and intelligent and warm but have such low self-esteem that they've resigned themselves to doing anything men ask of them.

Out of everything in this entire thread this was the only thing that stood out to me and made me go "uh, what?" I suppose it may come down to how you define "intelligent," but I found women in Japan to be fairly intellectually shallow. It seemed like few actually had anything they were really interested in outside school or their clubs (read: No hobbies). None showed interest in the daily going-on's in the world or Japan. I mean, when someone says someone is intelligent I think of someone that likes to talk about any of these things: politics, current news locally/globally, economy, science, technology, philosophy, history, novels/literature, just to name stuff that came to mind immediately. I suppose you could include pop culture as well but so long as it isn't "OMG!!!1 Did U C that DRESS she was wearing on the show last night!?!?!?!" "Did you see X and Y get into that fight on <recycled reality tv show> last night?!?!?!" "

I am not saying girls that like to converse in such topics do not exist in Japan. I am just considerably skeptical of anyone that insinuates that a large portion of the women in Japan are intelligent based on the above definition.

vix86 Wrote:...I think of someone that likes to talk about any of these things: politics, current news locally/globally, economy, science, technology, philosophy, history, novels/literature, just to name stuff that came to mind immediately...

"...and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''

Oniichan Wrote:

vix86 Wrote:...I think of someone that likes to talk about any of these things: politics, current news locally/globally, economy, science, technology, philosophy, history, novels/literature, just to name stuff that came to mind immediately...

"...and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''

Hahahaha. I have never read Pride and Prejudice but when I read the context of that excerpt its funny to see how well what I said fits with Darcy's feelings. I merely 'modernized' the breadth of topics one might know to be 'accomplished.' That gave me a good chuckle, thanks for that.

I've met plenty of intelligent women in Japan. The one I mentioned that said the self-deprecating line about Japanese women being easy was a published author and she was only 22 at the time.

There are plenty of vain and shallow women in Japan, but limiting intelligence to nerdy textbook subjects is ridiculous, IMO.

But then again, I don't give a damn about politics so maybe I'm just a retard.

aphasiac Wrote:

fifo_thekid Wrote:not because Japan is the land of opportunities, but, let's say, that I have my ways ).

fifo_thekid Wrote:although our relationship is not supposed to last for more than a couple of year due to our "special circumstances".

From these posts it sounds like you're training to be secret agents or military assassins or something, lol

fifo_thekid Wrote:and a fair amount of permanent, dear friends

This thread i found quite enlightening on that topic - have a read from this post onwards:

http://forum.koohii.com/showthread.php?p...7#pid53047

now that was horrible!
and to make it worse, i've experienced all those things!!
however, i wish that when i live in a big city i can have many good options to choose from (close friends, the woman i like,...etc)

thecite Wrote:So you're on the undergrad scholarship?
Not knowing much Japanese would certainly be an obstacle to having a good time in Japan, but I'm sure you'll manage. You've only been there a few months and already have a girlfriend. 手が早いじゃん（笑）

I'm on a 1year researcher scholarship, then 2 years Master's scholarship
After that I'm planning to extend to Phd

julianjalapeno Wrote:I`ve lived in Japan for four years total now (come next week), and let me tell you, its a bit of a nightmare. On the way to work everyday I have to bat off waves of comely lasses that want just a taste of my gaijin flavor, and if I survive this daily onslaught, I have to deal with more of the same at work. My Japanese male co-workers are far too busy with working 20-hour shifts to notice me bogarting all of the fresh trim, so theyre of little help.

Seriously though, the infamous attraction Japanese women seem to have for foreigners thats been mentioned in this thread has less to do with how great we are and more to do with the emotional unavailability of Japanese men. Combine that distance with low self-esteem, a culture that doesnt think much of women being independent and single past their 20s, and a desire to please male figures, and you get a bunch of Japanese women desperate for affection. I feel bad for these women because they have a hard time saying no which leads to them getting their hearts broken when they sleep with a guy on the first date and he moves on to the next.

I went out with a girl here once who told me `We have a saying in Japan. Korean girls in two weeks. Chinese girls in a week. Japanese girls in a day.` I had no idea how to reply to that, but it was depressing to hear.

So if youre having a hard time in your home country, know that there is a Japanese woman somewhere who will have you.

Back to the topic, living in Japan is fun, I think I`ll stay.

Are all the jobs like that?
What if I'm very good in the research field?
Do I still have to work more than 8 hours a day?

julianjalapeno Wrote:Well, as a matter of fact, you can guess what happened.

But I meant its depressing for these women who are so kind and intelligent and warm but have such low self-esteem that they've resigned themselves to doing anything men ask of them.

I think I'm derailing this thread again, but I am kind of confused as to what the OP is asking. Being "satisfied here forever" is impossible to know since we change so much through our lives. What is fun to you now will probably be not as fun 20 years from now. If you like to go out to bars and clubs, the big cities in Japan will probably be alright for a while.

I'm a nerd and a hermit, so I do nothing of the sort. Tokyo fills my needs just fine with ample arcades and used book stores. I'll be moving in with my girlfriend of a few years now in the spring of next year and don't plan on leaving Japan any time soon. So for me, Japan is plenty fun.

I could do without the constant earthquakes tho.

Is she Japanese?
Do you thank that it is easy and fun to live with a Japanese woman?

julianjalapeno Wrote:I've met plenty of intelligent women in Japan. The one I mentioned that said the self-deprecating line about Japanese women being easy was a published author and she was only 22 at the time.

There are plenty of vain and shallow women in Japan, but limiting intelligence to nerdy textbook subjects is ridiculous, IMO.

But then again, I don't give a damn about politics so maybe I'm just a retard.

It would seem that really what I was aiming at in my last post wasn't "intelligence" in women but simply women that are knowledgeable/learned/educated.

I decided to check the dictionary definition on "intelligence":
From American Heritage dictionary:

Quote:in·tel·li·gence
–noun
1.
capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.
2.
manifestation of a high mental capacity: He writes with intelligence and wit.
3.
the faculty of understanding.

Going on number 1. I could see there being many women with the capacity to be intelligent, yet I still found many that seemed to lack any desire to do so. Maybe this blooms after they graduate college and become 社会人, who knows.

Regardless, you can be knowledgeable and intelligent on numerous subjects and they need not pertain to textbook material necessarily. You said you like games and manga, does your g/f like the same stuff? If so, then I imagine you can have long conversations about potentially the most minute things on the matter. And so you might place a lot of value in this and are attracted to her because of it as it gives you something to talk besides 'small talk.'

Kuma01 Wrote:I'm starting to get the idea most of you only learned Japanese and moved there in order to get girls, which apparently was much harder for you in your native country. I'd chalk it up to the 'exotic' factor, which seems silly because it's hard for me to think of anyone of Western-European descent as exotic. After reading this thread though I'm sort of surprised, well I knew Japanese men were more traditional in some areas, but I assumed the position of modern women in Japan was much the same as in the West. Although it's slowly becoming less about equality and more about postive discrimination here, which is equally undesirable. Anyway I'm wondering if anyone can tell me if it's really true that in Japan your job is the center of your life, and that you're expected to fullfill a lot more company related social obligations than in the West.

Not for me, as I was practically living in a "porn movie" back home!!!!
For me, I'm in the stage of being transformed from a "young man" to a "responsible man"
I hope at this stage, that I can have constant fun that's not dangerous!

fifo_thekid Wrote:

thecite Wrote:So you're on the undergrad scholarship?
Not knowing much Japanese would certainly be an obstacle to having a good time in Japan, but I'm sure you'll manage. You've only been there a few months and already have a girlfriend. 手が早いじゃん（笑）

I'm on a 1year researcher scholarship, then 2 years Master's scholarship
After that I'm planning to extend to Phd

I'm actually very curious since you are there on the Monbusho (the graduate one too), did you go via university recommendation or did you do the whole "apply to consulate/embassy->test->interview." I had been seriously considering trying to get it but after posting around I considered against it as I think I would of had a difficult time convincing them to give me it. What is your field of study?

fifo_thekid Wrote:What if I'm very good in the research field?
Do I still have to work more than 8 hours a day?

You have to stay and pretend to "work" until your boss leaves the office / lab. There's no choice, leaving before them would be committing a great dishonour.

The number of hours you stay depends on them.

I generally hear from friends living or have lived in Tokyo that they love living in Tokyo, but they don't like the work life. Like aphasiac said, you have to stay and pretend to work late all the time. This eats into how much time you get to enjoy living in Japan, and being with your family. Also generally you have to accept that you have almost no career growth opportunity.

Japan's economy is in poor shape and faces difficult problems in the future due to aging population (though, economy is bad almost everywhere now).

vosmiura Wrote:I generally hear from friends living or have lived in Tokyo that they love living in Tokyo, but they don't like the work life. Like aphasiac said, you have to stay and pretend to work late all the time. This eats into how much time you get to enjoy living in Japan, and being with your family. Also generally you have to accept that you have almost no career growth opportunity.

How well does this translate over to western companies though, especially in the IT field. Because companies like microsoft, google, oracle, yahoo, apple, etc. all have branches and positions in Japan. Do they lean more toward having a western environment or are they infected with the Japanese work culture.