purpose

Javizy Wrote:The word "ideal" is interesting as well. It's easy to become absorbed in your thoughts and beliefs, even if they're toxic or self-defeating. "I'm ugly," "People don't like me," "I need a better job." If you can learn to separate yourself from your thoughts and simply observe them and take a critical stance with your beliefs, you might begin to realise that a lot of them are complete BS and are actually pretty counter-productive.

Yes, things like clothes- I was so mislead imo.

If my younger years were concentrated on clothes that are 'cool' and expensive, then now that I have graduated from an art school and have also realized how important the looks of things is, I have a totally different, more mature way of thinking about clothing.

I value clothes that symbolize/mean something to me, it adds value. I also value how colorful something is (colorful clothes make me feel good and add some spice of 'color' to my life).

When talking about color, I think that the right amount of color is an essential need in life. I personally cannot feel good when living in a grey environment similar to this.


Developing your own sense in the appearance of things is important. That way you can't be mislead by commercials etc.

Also, rather than buying 'cool' clothes, the whole point of choosing clothes in a shop is about how good they look on you. So buying the clothes that fit your posture is smart.

"I'm ugly,"
Almost any person can make oneself more attractive, and that's what important. Also, a person with mediocre looks but right clothes, confidence and passionate interests that stand out can become attractive imo.

To live ninety seconds a minute.

The time to be happy is now.

jettyke Wrote:

IceCream Wrote:to live a happy life, you need a healthy brain that is capable of feeling happiness. That's all there is to it.

The brain receives and organizes impulses, right? For the brain to feel happy it takes lots of really complicated impulses which are caused by even more complex situations?

IceCream Wrote:Apart from that, everything else is down to you. You can be happy in any situation, i think. it's just a matter of learning how...

Well I don't think that in 'any' situation.
For example, if you saw your best friends (who hadn't even done anything which would justify the violence being used on them) being violently brute forced by several policemen in front of your eyes, which I have witnessed.

Or in case you're tortured, you're tortured.
But there is always a degree, and extent to which you're tortured. Life has small tortures. When a kid can't get his candy, he will definitely feel a mild torture.

Sorry for the example, but the only way I could see a person being happy in a violent situation would be if that person were to do use chemical substances (maybe shooting heroin?) that would allow that person to be temporarily happy in just about every situation. And I'm still not convinced that there are such powerful substances.

yeah, of course. Watching someone else being in pain, or being in any direct pain yourself, you'll have a hard time being happy. But i guess i meant sort of, any none extreme situation really.

Living a happy life isn't incompatible with having unhappy elements in it, or being unhappy from time to time, that's just being human. and, sort of, if you consider your life as a canvas, you could still paint the most beautiful picture with ugly elements in it.

But most of the things people think they want or need for happiness aren't really necessary i think. Sleep well, eat well, & live healthily to have the most healthy brain you can. Actually, i think your point about colour in your living environment is probably also important for a healthy brain too.

After that, it's like Aodeur and Javizy said, it's really a matter of attitude. If you value the things and people around you, have a calm mind, treat others kindly, and are comfortable in yourself, that kind of thing, you'll be happy in situations you never realised you could be...

i think things like "goals" "purpose" etc are nice if you have them, but they're not really a necessary condition for happiness, either.

@jubei: no, i haven't seen "life is beautiful" but it sounds great!!! i'll try & watch it sometime!!!

Family, your own home, food, drink, clothing and money. Being healthy is equally important.

It needs little in life to make me happy. A day without pain makes me happy. If i can immerse myself into something i like doing, makes me happy. Pursuing my goals, making new discoveries, learning something new, watch my cat play, or having her sitting on my lap == happiness. Or if i lye in my bath, reading a good book, makes me happy. Looking outside my window, this calm feeling, in the middle of summer, is making me happy. As i said it's the little things.

The only one thing i would wish for, which is outside my power, is that this world would turn into a better place. That all people have equal opportunities in life, meaning not to live under the poverty line, while others have everything, but are unwilling to share. The upper 10.000 with more money on their accounts, than people living on this planet, but who can eat money? I ask you. And who can take it with him, once the end of his days comes? I hope for the young to strive for this higher goal, looking after others, who have no good lives, making others happy - and ultimately changing this planet, that's corrupted and polluted by people who look only after their own well being. This, i hope to see come true, one day. And if this day should come, i would be happy for the rest of my lifetime.

I don't need to own a million, and i don't know if that would make me happy, at all. It would not make my life easier as it is. It would not open up new opportunities that i wouldn't have without it. The same holds true for such things as jewelry, cars, and other such things. I can afford everything i think that i need.

If i would be healthy, it would make me happy, too. But this isn't going to happen. If i could leave my house more often, and not every few months, would be the climax of happiness. Meeting other people, new people, no matter who it is, exchanging thoughts, having a fun time, would make me happy. I'm working on that, right now. But I am pretty limited in that respect, as i can't leave the house very often, due to my health condition.

This was not always so, i was healthy once, as well as close to dying at least five times in my life - but i survived. Only to live a miserable life, in constant pain, and often sorrow. But this didn't lead me to give up, but to fight, never to give up, trying to make others happy which makes me happy, as well.

Life, is precious, no matter if you are young or old. And what happiness is, and what you need to be happy, can vary from day to day. If you like to go shopping, and you buy new things every day, this makes you happy for maybe some days. But then you'd need new things, and ever so on and forth. But if you can be happy, watching the rain, or seeing the sun rise, the dew on the grass, or the snow falling, listening to the chirping of birds, or having friends around you, and a supportive family - you are the happiest and luckiest person in the world. If you wish for more, you have a goal, to work on. Sometimes, not the goal but the way to reach it, can make you happy. And if you reach a goal, you can be happy, and turn towards the next one.

It really doesn't take much to be happy, just be happy, and forget about questioning what happiness is. Because it comes down to what makes you happy. Accept life as it is, happy or sad, pain or sorrow, feeling great or singing the blues, but always strife to change, as much as you can change. This is my advice.

I believe how much you do for others increase your happiness toward yourself, but I also believe that it's not possible to be "truly happy" in this life, you can't control bad things, can you? And if you want some happiness you have to work for it, which spoils some it. Anyway, the hardships in this life doesn't mean it's not enjoyable, but prevents true happiness!

The way I see it is: you have to make yourself happy, you have to work on improving yourself(both physically ad personality wise as well).Then once you like what you see, start worrying about helping other people. You can't really happy other people, when you can't help yourself

Plus you have to find something you really love to do. This question still bugs me to this day: What do you really want to do?

ta12121 Wrote:You can't really happy other people, when you can't help yourself

You will eventually become a burden to them...

ta12121 Wrote:Plus you have to find something you really love to do. This question still bugs me to this day: What do you really want to do?

the older i get, the less i believe this is true, actually. in western societies, it's pretty much drilled into many of us that we should find that thing that we love to do, or strive to be something "important" to make something out of our lives. Not only that, but we should search for that one person that suits us perfectly and marry them, have perfect babies, and live happily ever after like a fairy tale.

But more often now, i think that happiness isn't about finding out what you really want to do, but coming to love the things you Are doing.

For lots of us who started learning Japanese, we never somehow figured out first that we would love learning Japanese, and started learning it because of that (how could we?), it just kinda grows on you while you do it, and eventually you do love learning it. i think most of life is probably the same if you go about it with the right attitude...

jettyke Wrote:

ta12121 Wrote:You can't really happy other people, when you can't help yourself

You will eventually become a burden to them...

could happen. I'm just saying, work on yourself and then help other people. I'll admit I need to work on myself more(wait that didn't come right, I think)

IceCream Wrote:

ta12121 Wrote:Plus you have to find something you really love to do. This question still bugs me to this day: What do you really want to do?

the older i get, the less i believe this is true, actually. in western societies, it's pretty much drilled into many of us that we should find that thing that we love to do, or strive to be something "important" to make something out of our lives. Not only that, but we should search for that one person that suits us perfectly and marry them, have perfect babies, and live happily ever after like a fairy tale.

But more often now, i think that happiness isn't about finding out what you really want to do, but coming to love the things you Are doing.

For lots of us who started learning Japanese, we never somehow figured out first that we would love learning Japanese, and started learning it because of that (how could we?), it just kinda grows on you while you do it, and eventually you do love learning it. i think most of life is probably the same if you go about it with the right attitude...

Have to agree with this one. I used to hate Japanese things,animes(kept saying "those crazy Asians".) But now I definitely have grown to love it. Not sure why or how, but it just happened. Guess this happens as you get more used to something and discover more about other culture ad people that aren't related to you any way.

Interesting topic.

I believe a big misconception on happiness is that through the obtainment of our life's goals or having a child, or finding a good mate, good job, steady lifestyle will make us happy.

A lot of that is wrong. through my study of happiness, iI find its important to have obligations, things that are meaningful to you, but important enough that they need to be done. a life of freedom can get dull after awhile.

we need things that we feel apart of, that help us in using our time wisely. The book I'm reading now explains the biggest part of Buddism, meditation, and happiness is acceptance. people who have everything can still be unhappy. Happy is waking up everyday accepting the good, bad, evil, good, confusion, frustration, bliss, and love as being necessary part of not only your life but everyone else's. Knowing that what you go through many others go through everyday can help in finding a sort of sympathy in eachother.

I think we need to wake up everything and make it so we're constantly striving to improve ourselves, like japanese, or relationships, and so forth.

What all old people have in common is they talk about the past. its important to not go too far into the past or future but instead be present now. that's also what mindfulness teaches.

"You live in allusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality, but you do not know this. When you understand this, you will see that you are nothing, and being nothing you are everything. that is all" Tibetan teacher Kalu Rinpoche

I hope I make a little sense >.<

Tolerence91 Wrote:I hope I make a little sense >.<

It does, reminds me of a saying that goes "Happiness is not about having what you want, it's wanting what you have".

Also, slightly on the same subject, many people often suggest, and are trying to "find themselves". I used to think it was a good idea, until I ran across

George Bernard Shaw Wrote:Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

It hit me, we are all capable of many things. Do what you like, go on many journeys, and every step of the way, you're building yourself.

IceCream Wrote:But more often now, i think that happiness isn't about finding out what you really want to do, but coming to love the things you Are doing.

You can do both of these... well maybe not *love*, but you can enjoy what you are doing whilst finding what you love.

There's been a study that the older you get, your happiness levels increase.

According to the study, until you reach 50 stress/happiness fluctuates wildly.
As you get older stress continues to rise until you get to 50, and then stress drops.
So, the key to happiness is to get older. In other words, just live your life. Eventually you'll find happiness.

Also, I'm almost certain that no one can know happiness without experiencing suffering.

Acknowledge life for what it is, and keep on keeping on.

caivano Wrote:

IceCream Wrote:But more often now, i think that happiness isn't about finding out what you really want to do, but coming to love the things you Are doing.

You can do both of these... well maybe not *love*, but you can enjoy what you are doing whilst finding what you love.

good point yeah, the two aren't mutually exclusive!

IceCream Wrote:

caivano Wrote:

IceCream Wrote:But more often now, i think that happiness isn't about finding out what you really want to do, but coming to love the things you Are doing.

You can do both of these... well maybe not *love*, but you can enjoy what you are doing whilst finding what you love.

good point yeah, the two aren't mutually exclusive!

I was trying to think of that term for ages! :$

Philosophy: Guide to Happiness
It is interesting how many Western philosophers seemed to have been so completely miserable.

I suggest fasting alone for a couple days. Really gives me peace of mind. Thus a chance for happiness and knowing one's limits. People and food give me mixed emotions.

bodhisamaya Wrote:Philosophy: Guide to Happiness

No mention to the Stoics? That's awfuly incomplete.
(Stoicism is very similar Zen Buddhism)

bodhisamaya Wrote:It is interesting how many Western philosophers seemed to have been so completely miserable.

Maybe it's the other way around. People with depression spend more time thinking about their lives [citation needed]. Some may even become philosophers.

Why no one mentioned sunshine and fresh air!?
It's actually very important!

(also including that oxygen is successfully transferred to cells. Concentrating on one's breath can help with this).