dath Wrote:I think you both should talk about what you want for the future and why going to your home country is more important or easy or whatever than you both staying here. So what benefit is it for you guys to go to your country rather than Japan? Career etc?

Well, I'm not in Japan to begin with, so one of us will have to move (both in universities in our own countries now). It seems like I'm the one who's going to have any real 経済力 so I can't really depend on her to be the breadwinner. I'll apply to Japanese companies when I get the experience (IT/finance stuff, so should be something out there) but can't put a date on that.

aphasiac Wrote:

dizmox Wrote:Has anyone else discussed moving in together with someone from Japan? (to your home country)

My current girlfriend seems quite worried about leaving Japan so I'm not sure how that's going to pan out. :/

You got back together? That's good

Anyway your query really should be separated into 2 issues:

1) Her leaving Japan to come live in the UK (what's she going to do here?)
2) Moving in together.

For first part, assuming she's moving to London, then plenty of Japanese people to hang with and places to go. She's just got to decide what to do here - study or work. If latter, visa issues; is she going find a place with Japanese company here, or are you going to get married? Her English skills come into play here.

Moving in together - no tips there, it just works or it doesn't. Guess you already tried it out when you visited her in Japan, but long term it's a bit more trying. Just make sure you live in a place you both like, and have separate lives/hobbies, otherwise you'll go mental within a month or two.

I'm doing the same remember - moving to Taiwan to live with my girlfriend later this year. But we already live together, so 2) is solved (and we have fully discussed 1)). You need to talk about this properly, communication is key..

We get along fine living together (we've probably spent about 1.5 months doing that before with no arguments), but yeah, I have no idea about 1). I don't see her in any proper company position over here, but then again, she seems to have given up on that in her home country anyway... I'm sure she'll find something here eventually to keep her busy though.

We talked about getting married from the start of the relationship really (it didn't seem wise to enter a relationship that wouldn't go anywhere), but she said she might study here for a bit if her parents can afford it. Convincing her parents about marriage is probably the most daunting trial according to her. :/

If it doesn't work out hopefully someone will come cook Japanese food for me here.

Step 1: find a Japanese lady (fairly easy step in Japan as they're almost always walking out of a coffee shop or store)

Step 2: approach Japanese lady (this is the part most guys chicken out on)

Step 3: TALK to the Japanese lady, maintaining eye contact, having a good attitude and generally being comfortable around her and yourself (this part most guys get wrong as they assume there must be some sort of game to play).

Step 4: exchange contact information

Step 5: next evening, ask for a date

Step 6: have the date, have sex, set up the relationship

Really, you don't need to find a girlfriend. What you need to do first is set up a relationship that can lead to becoming a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. After that, it's easier to guide the relationship that's really clicking to become more serious if that's what you're after.

Really though, if you JUST TALK TO HER (and she can be anyone) then eventually the rest will follow.

Hear, hear. Sound advice.

Dear lord, this thread just smells like sweaty weeaboo. You might want to change to topic to "getting a girlfriend" since it's not like nationality or ethnicity changes a lot about a the process, especially not in a country like Japan that mainly imports western culture. Having said that, being white or western looking doesn't automatically turn you into a chick magnet when you go to Japan, maybe if you're good looking but that defeats the purpose of going to Japan just because you suspect chicks will dig you for being western.

Money, a strong jaw, a witty personality, a nice singing voice, intelligence, height, biceps, power, confidence... these are all strengths men rely on to find partners. They are all things you are mostly just born with or given the potential for at birth. Why is getting a hot Japanese girl due to simply being a Westerner reason for shame any more than the other examples? Being non-Asian in the most homogeneous society on Earth improves the gene pool as much as anything else.

The main drawback to the ease of dating girls in Japan is the reverse culture shock when you return home. Even average looking girls give you attitude for thinking you are in their league because you don't drive a BMW. A lot of false confidence can be gained here.

bodhisamaya Wrote:The main drawback to the ease of dating girls in Japan is the reverse culture shock when you return home. Even average looking girls give you attitude for thinking you are in their league because you don't drive a BMW. A lot of false confidence can be gained here.

There's no such thing as false confidence. Confidence is more important than that BMW. Those girls are just stuck up and delusional about what "league" they are in.

dizmox Wrote:There's no such thing as false confidence. Confidence is more important than that BMW.

Btw what is confidence?

Confidence = knowing what is the right thing to do

That's what my mind invented anyway

Whisking away random women off the street into love hotels, that's confidence

[ファブリス]

You don't get a Japanese girlfriend. She gets you.

jettyke Wrote:

dizmox Wrote:There's no such thing as false confidence. Confidence is more important than that BMW.

Btw what is confidence?

Confidence = knowing what is the right thing to do

That's what my mind invented anyway

Ehh, part of it is not buying into that "league" rubbish.

bodhisamaya Wrote:The main drawback to the ease of dating girls in Japan is the reverse culture shock when you return home. Even average looking girls give you attitude for thinking you are in their league because you don't drive a BMW. A lot of false confidence can be gained here.

Ha! So true! Bodhisamaya is on to something here...

Call us weeaboos all you want, but once with a 日本ガールフレンド, there is simply no coming back!

気持ち悪い。

nest0r Wrote:気持ち悪い。

lol

超やばいよね～　(ﾉ´∀｀*)

I was waiting for that to get linked

Re: western women, I believe the difference is exaggerated. I find no real difference in meeting western women, in the west. Most western women in Japan seem to have major attitudes unless they are FOB, which I'm guessing stems from being largely ignored by men here. Vicious cycle.

Re: never going back
I'd actually prefer a western gf right now as a change of pace after being exclusively with Japanese for the last five years. There are slim pickings in Japan though, unless you speak Russian.

nest0r Wrote:気持ち悪い。

What men discuss openly on forums is much more tame compared to what women gossip about in private. Having worked in industries dominated by women most of my life and overhearing what is said about men over lunch breaks, it is indeed frightening.

Jarvik7 Wrote:There are slim pickings in Japan though, unless you speak Russian.

What are you referring to? Russian models living in Tokyo? They say nyet nyet to decadent capitalists?

This is entire thread has been quite amusing...and should I say...enlightening?

louischa Wrote:

Jarvik7 Wrote:There are slim pickings in Japan though, unless you speak Russian.

What are you referring to? Russian models living in Tokyo? They say nyet nyet to decadent capitalists?

I'd say it's the opposite: our women, especially those who are living abroad, LOVE decadent capitalists, the more decadent the better. They want none of y'all's moralizing touchy-feely social democratic drivel

bodhisamaya Wrote:

nest0r Wrote:気持ち悪い。

What men discuss openly on forums is much more tame compared to what women gossip about in private. Having worked in industries dominated by women most of my life and overhearing what is said about men over lunch breaks, it is indeed frightening.

I'm currently working with only men (I'm the only girl), I've seen that gossip level between the two sexs is very equal. ^^

caivano Wrote:http://www.charismaman.com/CMweb_2.98.jpg

that's hilarious

I don't think this thread has been that bad, as far as threads about picking up Japanese chicks go.

Amusing thread indeed. Actually I learned many things, among them that if I ever set foot in Japan, I'd be Charisma Man (since I am Canadian) - which is good news, but then if I don't have any Russian, everything is going to crumble down miserably. You sometimes just can't win. Natasha, please don't say nyet nyet nyet!

Oh my. Go back to study. #2406 now. I find plant kanji actually fun to study, I made up funky stories.

I also hail from Planet Canada.