Hello,
I was just reading an article from tofugu:
http://www.tofugu.com/2010/06/18/top-10-...-japanese/

I don't know if I can agree him. Anyone here experienced it?
I've heard stories from girls that learned Japanese from their boyfriends.
What is your story?

My advice? Date someone you like. You shouldn't be dating to further your language studies, that's gonna backfire something fierce. </opinion>

At one point it is very **** frustrating when your Japanese and the other person's English in not enough to talk about more deeper and interesting stuff, so I agree with the reply above.

I don't ever agree with anything he says, and I don't in this case either.

Probably it would be best to find someone you care about and can enjoy spending time with. I don't think language should really be a part of the whole relationship or no relationship decision.

That said, say he or she speaks or knows your target language. Most people I know here who have girlfriends or boyfriends that are Japanese only do have solid Japanese to some extent or another. The reason probably lies in the fact that they have someone to practice on 24/7 and get to talk about a lot of different things plus they have someone to ask questions to as well (language teachers cost money and the internet can't really replace a real person when it comes to speed of response and often depth of as well). Probably this is the advantage of the whole target language spouse thing.

I think if you had quite a close friend you would have a similar experience (obviously missing out on some of the other fun stuff you can learn, but nothing adult videos and a few bars with some rather flirty friends couldn't fix.). Also, if you lived in the country of your language and lived with really close friends and were single there would be only a slight difference, so the whole target language girlfriend/boyfriend isn't the be all end all of language learning (note that if your GF/BF speaks only your native language you subtract time from your potential usage time; hence, I say 'single' is better above.)

Here's my take on his arguments:

1. You are lazy.
Yes, I am. It has nothing to do with me dating a Japanese girl, it has to do with the fact that I get home from school and I'd rather watch Dr. Who and eat Mac and Cheese then break out Asahi and cram some vocab.

2. You will mix English and Japanese.
My girlfriend doesn't speak English.

3. Getting made fun of sucks.
I know I don't speak perfectly. She rarely corrects me, despite my requests for her to do so. She doesn't make fun of my speech; if someone jokes about it, it's usually me. You're learning a different language -- if you're going to be so sensitive about screwing up, then you're never going to progress. She only rarely corrects me, and so -maybe- you could say that it's "hurting" my Japanese, but that's beside the point.

4. あんたの彼女とばかり話してると、かわいい女の子みたいに話しちゃうわよ！笑
I might be guilty of this a little. Not to the extent he makes it sound...I don't do any あたし or わ and such...but I'm sure I probably sound a little more feminine than your average 佐藤太郎

5. Your girlfriend wants to learn English
False. Similar to #2.

6. No keigo or kanji with your girlfriend
True...but on the other side of the coin, who ARE you going to practice keigo/kanji with? His same arguments could be used for -anyone,- not just a Japanese girlfriend.

7. Jesus that’s fast! Can’t you speak slowly?! Oh wait…you are?
I could see this happen with some people. But again, it's not because she's your girlfriend, it's because your Japanese is poor to begin with.

8. Your conversation topics will be limited
True, but it's the same as in English, or with anyone you will ever speak to you for the sole purpose of helping you practice Japanese.

9. Your girlfriend probably doesn’t know Japanese very well
Not quite sure what the point of this one was, but I agree, asking an untrained native how to learn something in their language probably isn't a good idea.

10. Just kidding
Yeah, it definitely can and does help a lot.


I agree with the article, although only from a certain viewpoint. A lot of the arguments can be said about having conversations with --anyone-- Japanese. If you get a Japanese girlfriend for the sole purpose of furthering your Japanese, then it won't necessarily be successful.

Asriel Wrote:9. Your girlfriend probably doesn’t know Japanese very well
Not quite sure what the point of this one was, but I agree, asking an untrained native how to learn something in their language probably isn't a good idea.

SSSHHH!
Don't say this too loud.. all my part time jobs are based on the fact I'm English!

anyway..

Someone told me if I want to improve my Japanese get a Japanese girlfriend... infront of my girlfriend who was already worried about me going to Japan and being surrounded by (what she thought at the time) a country overran with really pretty girls. Needless to say, that took some fixing.

At the end of the day, a relationship is an understanding between the people involved, so there's no saying if Learning Japanese is your primary reason, and they're cool with it, it couldn't work in the long run, but I wouldn't place your bets early.

Relationships in general (not just romantic) are more fun when you're somewhat fluent, language barriers suck.

Quote:4. あんたの彼女とばかり話してると、かわいい女の子みたいに話しちゃうわよ！笑

This one is about as valid as the "watching anime ruins your Japanese" argument. If you know the first thing about learning languages, it's just not going to happen. However, since my conversation practice has been almost exclusively with women, I talk like a man talks to a woman, not like a woman talks. I think it would take some adjusting to freely use the kind of 男同士 structures and vocab (which I already know) that don't really work when you're talking with おばさん.

As for me, I only speak English with my girlfriend because that's just the way it's always been. Switching languages is like switching personalities, and she didn't fall in love with the Japanese me. Hopefully, as I push into more advanced territories, I can close the gap and switch more naturally, but it's not something I worry about.

Javizy Wrote:This one is about as valid as the "watching anime ruins your Japanese" argument. If you know the first thing about learning languages, it's just not going to happen.

Have you ever seen what happens to kids who grow up watching cartoons?!

Yeah, they turn out fine. 'Watching anime ruins your Japanese' debunked.

It's kind of sad breaking with up a Japanese girlfriend if they were there from your first baby steps in the language and helped you improve so much. |:

There's the "oh, you're good at Japanese now, so now that I can see your personality I don't think your my type" thing too in that case.

We need to step this thread up a notch.

How about learning Japanese from someone else's Girlfriend/Boyfriend? ;D

KMDES Wrote:How about learning Japanese from someone else's Girlfriend/Boyfriend? ;D

最高　
上級だ！

dizmox Wrote:It's kind of sad breaking with up a Japanese girlfriend if they were there from your first baby steps in the language and helped you improve so much. |:

There's the "oh, you're good at Japanese now, so now that I can see your personality I don't think your my type" thing too in that case.

Speaking from experience here? :/

;_;

dizmox Wrote:It's kind of sad breaking with up a Japanese girlfriend if they were there from your first baby steps in the language and helped you improve so much. |:

There's the "oh, you're good at Japanese now, so now that I can see your personality I don't think your my type" thing too in that case.

.....ouch

edit: false alarm

<_<