How old is the woman I wonder. I had visions of my friend's psycho ex at first, but if she accepted the breakup then I can feel for her slightly. I don't think the OP did anything wrong though. Who's to say he wouldn't have been happy continuing the relationship and whatever else that may have involved in years to come? She's the one who blew it.

After a few dates, you barely get to know someone well enough to decide if you want to see them again, let alone spend the rest of your life with them. Saying you want kids with someone you barely know stinks of desperation to me.

Finding someone you truly connect with and see a bright future with takes a back seat to forcing rings on each other's fingers. After you're married and unable to separate because of your children, you can find out whether or not you're actually suited for each other. It's a solid plan. I don't see why divorce rates are forever on the rise...

Let's start a lengthy thread discussing the detailed logistics of how to become fluent in Japanese in 18 months next, mixing in plenty of anecdotes based around other anecdotes. That way you can waste time without turning the forum into one of those trashy talk shows you clearly enjoy watching.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

nest0r Wrote:Let's start a lengthy thread discussing the detailed logistics of how to become fluent in Japanese in 18 months next, mixing in plenty of anecdotes based around other anecdotes. That way you can waste time without turning the forum into one of those trashy talk shows you clearly enjoy watching.

Wasn't reading and responding to my post in a thread you'd already condemned a waste of time? But then how do I judge what's a waste of yours or anyone else's time? I read an article earlier about rising divorce rates in Japan after speaking to my unhappily married Japanese friend about her unhappily married friends, so I found some level of interest in the topics in this thread. Maybe I was a bit late responding, but it's easy enough to ignore.

The title gives away the contents, so I say avoid similar threads in future if you find them so offensive. No need to throw around unnecessary hostility. Surely that's more unpleasant than unsubstantiated views on women and relationships in an off-topic section of the forum.

Jarvik7 Wrote:Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Haha, thank goodness it took me a while to get that. I feel good about my personal associations... "Seinfeld, huh? Tom and Jerry, what? ... Ohhh, right."

@Javizy - Sounds like you're just writing a defensive and shallowly rhetorical excuse. I think if you're really interested in Japanese marriage trends and memes, you should start a new thread with interesting links we can discuss, rather than gossiping about anecdotal strangers in some douchy thread long past its expiration date.

nest0r Wrote:@Javizy - Sounds like you're just writing a defensive and shallowly rhetorical excuse. I think if you're really interested in Japanese marriage trends and memes, you should start a new thread with interesting links we can discuss, rather than gossiping about anecdotal strangers in some douchy thread long past its expiration date.

I see what you're saying, but it just didn't seem like that big of a deal to voice my thoughts somewhere they'd probably be ignored anyway. Rather than marriage trends, I'm interested in this "I want to get married" mentality that prioritises the institution over the relationship itself. Well, it's a topic that's come up a few times in the past fortnight. Not something that would make a particularly great thread.

If we can take anything away from this, it should be to avoid watching ビューティー・コロシアム. ブサイク・コロシアム is better anyway.

Thora Wrote:

Smackle Wrote:This is a horrible thread.

...and since it has nothing to do with Japanese and the big 'crisis' is over, maybe it'd be good if the entire thread could just disappear? I somehow doubt the OP or anyone else would mind in this case.

There's still one question left unanswered.

@nest0r

見つけた

kazelee Wrote:

Thora Wrote:

Smackle Wrote:This is a horrible thread.

...and since it has nothing to do with Japanese and the big 'crisis' is over, maybe it'd be good if the entire thread could just disappear? I somehow doubt the OP or anyone else would mind in this case.

There's still one question left unanswered.

@nest0r

見つけた

heh heh, s-stop messin' around, kazelee. Yer talkin' crazy. *tuneless whistle*

@Javizy - Technically I was responding to the comments in general, but yes, my main problem was this idea where we take the anecdote of the OP, which in my opinion was just plain creepy, and treat the person as if they're a)real and b)we have some accurate idea of them in order to c)make some personal point ... It just gives me an icky feeling to see those kinds of pretexts. They reek of the kinds of gossip and mundane social games that I feel we RevTKers are above.

But yes, the whole idea of marriage baffles me. Though I am now curious about marriage in Japan and will proceed to research it. I'm sure there's a paper for that.

kazelee Wrote:There's still one question left unanswered.

oh yeah...sorry mate. Carry on then.

kazalee Wrote:Was she worth it?

Pics or it didn't happen.

Several years ago a friend of mine tried to break up with a crazy girlfriend. One night she calls up and asks if she can come over. She does, works herself into a frenzy and attacks him with a kitchen knife. Didn't kill him or anything but he did have to get some stitches in his hand from warding off the knife at one point. A few months after that, when he thought she was well out of his life, she called the cops to inform them that she knew where they could find an apartment with a certain kind of smokable in it and guess whose apartment it was. He was arrested and got off light in that he was deported and can never come back to Japan. The really sad part about it all was that he was a really decent, sweet guy who had just gotten mixed up with the wrong girl. He wasn't an English teacher, for the record. Just thought I would share that little story for what it's worth.

It's pretty dumb to have illegal drugs in Japan though, even if it's relatively harmless stuff like pot. You're not just going to get a slap on the wrist like in your home country, you're getting fired, deported, and blacklisted at minimum.

markal Wrote:The really sad part about it all was that he was a really decent, sweet guy who had just gotten mixed up with the wrong girl.

...and possessed narcotics in a country where the typical penalty for doing so is to share a tiny cell with a yakuza member .

You left out that part.

That was a really lousy thing for the girl to do, but I don't feel any sympathy for your friend.

markal Wrote:Several years ago a friend of mine tried to break up with a crazy girlfriend. One night she calls up and asks if she can come over. She does, works herself into a frenzy and attacks him with a kitchen knife. Didn't kill him or anything but he did have to get some stitches in his hand from warding off the knife at one point. A few months after that, when he thought she was well out of his life, she called the cops to inform them that she knew where they could find an apartment with a certain kind of smokable in it and guess whose apartment it was. He was arrested and got off light in that he was deported and can never come back to Japan. The really sad part about it all was that he was a really decent, sweet guy who had just gotten mixed up with the wrong girl. He wasn't an English teacher, for the record. Just thought I would share that little story for what it's worth.

ouch that's rough. Although it is kinda his felt for the pot. Having any thing in that sort of thing while in another country spells out trouble.

I think if I ever made it to Japan one day, and got deported because of having pot in my crib, I'd go insane... lol. Getting baked or making some spare cash (whichever you desire I guess) isn't even worth that kind of trouble. Like others said, yeah, not too bad in some countries where you're just given a slap on the wrist for the most part, but if almost guaranteed deportation is gonna happen, why bother unless you really want a reason to get out of the country... lol

PS: Yeah what the girl did was low, but I don't really feel bad for the guy at all. If you're dabbling in illegal drugs (even more so in Japan), you'd better be completely ready for the consequences if you get caught.

NEXTing is an art that takes time to be perfected.
Date her for some time, without showing interest for her and she'll naturally dump you soon enough.

Good advice

@Thora

Kazaって誰？

*Takes notice of OP reluctance to answer the question.*

*Reluctance to answer the question gives the answer.*