So here's my situation: (for those who don't like reading about other people's problems then stop here)

I've lived in Kyoto since April. I am attending a Japanese language school and will be until this March. I find out in 8 days whether I am going to be accepted into Ritsumeikan's 映像学部 ("College of Image Arts and Sciences) or not. It's been my goal forever to get into Japanese college as an undergraduate, and now that it's finally here, I really don't feel that great.

When I first got here in April, I was really pumped and was studying at the "grueling pace" mode from "Oregon Trail". Of course, I burned out. The school has gone from a place of learning and excitements, to a miserable, tiring (8km to school everyday! X_X) awful experience. I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with my reviews, and all I want to do when I get home is play (DUN DUN DUN) video games...

I have a beautiful Japanese girlfriend who holds a high paying job, and she works 13 hour shifts 6 days a week. She comes home and see my fatass playing SC2 and she just goes crazy. I don't blame her. But I just can't find the energy to do ANYTHING anymore.

I have a translation job, which ranges from translating manga to anime porn, to sushi guidebooks. The pay is nice but the amount work really varies.

-----THE MAIN POINT HERE-----

I consider myself lucky; I am in Japan, have a Japanese girlfriend, my future looks good here in Japan.

But I'm so lazy I can't even wake up some days. The school really drains me. Life online is more interesting than my real one. The only days I feel truly happy is on weekends when my girlfriend isn't working.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Thanks for reading.

well, from your post you at least acknowledge that you are a pathetic loser. so I guess we have identified the problem.


but in all seriousness. you know that you are lazy, you just have to have the willpower to stop playing games and get to work. They way I motivate myself is to think "what would happen if everyone I loved died" "what would happen if I went blind" "what would happen if I went deaf?" and "if I died in 3 hours would I feel happy about my life?"

Usually if these questions don't get me to appreciate my life and encourage me to spend time with my loved ones and get me into the study mood, then I am already doing these things.


if all else fails, at least there's courage wolf:

You've taken on too much. Stop and smell the roses. Realize that relaxation time is essential for a healthy mind and life. You can't spend every waking minute being productive, except on a short-term basis. You've hit your limit.

How long are you in class? If it's one of those 8 hours a day, 5 days a week time things, then I would say cut yourself a littleslack. I don't know many people who would be able to go home and keep studying after a full day of studying at school.

Pray that your girlfriend gets pregnant so you can be a full-time house husband.

I have to do things every day.

The reason I have to do them is to get to the next level (when I won't have to do those things, and things like that will be easier anyway).

Push away the things that you don't want, keep close the things that make you happy. Then look for more.

When you burn out, you need a rest. Sometimes it's good to do absolutely nothing at all. I don't think video games are really a rest. But one real rest in a day, even of three minutes, might be a nice idea.

PS I'm not going to punch you

I think you're a tiny bit depressed...I find the more I can create things, the better I feel. I create an increase in my "good/easy" Kanji review pile (finding it hard to do many at the moment but I feel good that I do some, and I feel great when it is more than "some" and I when I remember one easily). I create corrections for people on Lang-8 (in English). Makes me feel good if I do it well.

Create flowers for your girlfriend when she comes home. We will all feel good, even me

I haven't achieved what I want to in life yet, but I want to make every day count towards getting to the next level, and to the finish line! As long as I do more than nothing each day, I will get closer.

PPS Eat fruit. This will make a surprising difference too.

Thanks for the quick replies.

This is embarrassing to say but the school is only 3 MEASLY HOURS A DAY! 9 until 12:30. Some days it is until 3:30.

I think my problem is that I've never had it hard. I've never had to work 13 hour shifts, never been on thin ice. I'll always just "done enough" to get by.

I agree relaxation time is essential, but not every damn day. I've tried uninstalling and deleting all the game data I have. But thanks to the Japanese internet, it takes about 1 minute to download a game.

I've listened to personal development tapes, I stuck with some for about 2 weeks. Then it always fades.

I hate routine. I like things that always change. When routine start to kick in, that's when I lose my ambition. The school at first was a breath of fresh air compared to my life back in the states.

I was working for Coca-Cola, it was one of the most depressing jobs of my life. Not because of the job itself, because of all the people that I was was surrounded by. High school dropouts, college graduates that couldn't find anything else. I looked down upon them, saying to myself, "I'm going to Japan! I'm gonna be somebody!". But now when I look back, I realize I'm no better, in fact I'm even worse, if I can't get the lead out.

House husband sounds great, but after 10 years I'd probably kill myself.

Hmmm, your in japan, your have a japanese gf, you have greater chances of learning japanese but you've burned yourself out. I'd say, you just gotta get yourself some good motivation. I definitely know burnout does happen from time to time.

13 hour shifts? man that's pretty much the whole day.

You might just need to take a break. I know it's a waste of money, but it may be a nice idea if you stopped going to class and just completely avoided Japanese as much as possible for a week. I do this every once in a while and always come back to it with a more refreshed mind and the joy I had from studying the language that I had lost.

Also, rewarding yourself is important too. I have a little piggy bank and I put money in it if I do the things I need to do. Seeing the money add up helps me to see how much I actually have done.

You've made an interesting point here. Alot of people on this board dream of going to Japan, to make a new exciting life. But once you're there and the novelty has worn off, I guess it's no different to being at home. Cept everything's in Japanese. Hmm..

to the OP: Do you play games in Japanese? If so, consider it part of studying. Honestly though, does sound like you have an easy life, and that's obviously building up resentment in your gf - be careful how you proceeed, one wrong move and she will will dump your ass.

p.p.s. Do you have friends and a social life out there? Do you go out regularly with your girlfriend or buddies?? Just wondering..cos that could be an issue.

Hey man.
Yup, looks like a pre-depressed state to me. So you have 2 options: stop giving a ***** about anything, become homeless or join a zen sect.
If you want to get better, here are a few easy-to-follow advices.

First, the gf thing. Try not to be at home when she comes, even if it's for a stroll or buying groceries. It's all about psychological impact. My favorites are going to a park (nature is important to calm down), and go to the library (you can even play there, but you'll start to want to study sometimes).

Then, yes, in a way you're worse than the regular slobs, but you're also better, since you're in Japan. All slobs are looking for a breakdown that will disresponsabilize them for good. But that tend not to happen with the clever ones. So, yes, creativity is a good, less self-centered activity, and you usually go to classes, so you see different people from the ordinary, and that breaks the routine. There's poetry, painting, calligraphy, clay molding is nice to, drawing (you get to make funny comments on nude). Even starting your memoirs can be good (don't forget the crime/sex anecdotes), but you would still have to do it in a coffee shop or something. I even used to read books on train station quays (good parka recommended). The point is, get out of the house. Even for slobbing, just get out. It will give you balance. Avoiding Japanese for awhile might be a good idea too (maybe, going to Australia for a few days?).

Another slob.

There's nothing I can really suggest, I'll just make some observations though of how you can go about thinking about your routine.

Point 1:
8km to school everyday? What's wrong with that, that's about an hours walk right? 30 minutes bike?. Everyone at my work rides the bike or makes whatever use they can of their travel route to exercise, so they don't waste their time at the gym.

Point 2:
At least you have a girlfriend. *Tell* her that you're happy on the weekends when shes' not at work, that'll really make her feel great. And it tells me that you game to kill time to see her come home. In the time that you're gaming, do something or make something like others have suggested to de-stress that 13 hour bullshit overworked day.

Point 3:
SC2, I can't say much about games these days. I used to game about 2 hours a week at the start of the year, to about 1 game every 2 months now. I'm just over it, don't see the point or need, it's a complete waste of time and the only use that I've gotten out of gaming was just.. really fast alt tabbing windows skills... :S



and rofl @ courage wolf

Hey Cheesemaster64,

I think you need to consider the possibility that you are suffering from culture shock.

Try to eat better, exercise more, and talk to your family more often.

Really great stuff here guys, thanks.

The 8 km is actually the most enjoyable part about the schooling experience. It's kind of odd, as the ride to school is uphill, with the school being at the base of a mountain. The ride home is much easier. Maybe my brain links this pain/pleasure thing to the school? (lol)

I know games are a complete and utter waste of time. I've been playing games since I can remember, and I like I am addicted to them. Even when playing games in Japanese, you get about 10 percent using Japanese and then 90 percent just mindless thought.

I think getting out is the most important thing. I need to stop going straight to home after school. The only problem with that is, I have NO extra cash. This could be solved by making a bento and bringing it to school with me.

Depression runs in my family and I've always felt a bit bi-polar, but then again, who doesn't? I've read most of AJATT, and it makes me want to be like Khatz. Then I lose steam after 2 days.

My social life could be a big issue too. I have friends at school yes. But one the bell rings, I go home, as with almost all my friends. I have yet to make any Japanese GUY friends. I think this makes me want to go home and play with my "virtual friends". I skype some of my buds from home, but that doesn't help me with life here.

I keep telling myself that once college start up I will be fine. In order to do well in college though, I need a much stronger Japanese ability than I already have. Sure, I may have passed (hopefully) the interview and did OK on the EJU (a general exam for foreigns wanting to go to college in Japan), but I still have a long way to go.

What Khatz fails to write on his blog is how to get good at life before you can get good at Japanese.

EDIT: Culture shock. Hmm... Do you mean, for instance, that my GF may expect more of me, because that how the Japanese are? I'd defiantly say that Japanese people try WAY harder than Americans, on average anyways.

Exercise or some other physical activity can help focus the mind. I always advocate CrossFit, but go with what works for you. Running is an easy method to get endorphins flowing. Combined with weight lifting can give your body a jolt that helps re-energize the mind.

In addition, a healthy diet does wonders for your energy levels. I've gone the usually 4 to 5 small meals (400 to 500 calories) made up of 30% protein, 30% fats, and 40% carbs aka the zone diet. Although, I've heard very good things about the paleo diet which is basically only eat foods that would have reasonably been consumed 25,000 years ie lots of meat and vegetables but no processed sugars and starches. Better energy levels help studying, sleeping, exercise, etc.

Good skills to you regardless of choices.

I don't mean cultural differences between you and your girlfriend. I'm talking about actual culture shock. Just from living in Japan.

Is it your first time living here? Since April?

Cheesemaster64 Wrote:My social life could be a big issue too. I have friends at school yes. But one the bell rings, I go home, as with almost all my friends. I have yet to make any Japanese GUY friends. I think this makes me want to go home and play with my "virtual friends". I skype some of my buds from home, but that doesn't help me with life here.

I'd definitely say this is the issue.

You get home from school at 1.30pm, and then have nothing to do do for the next 8-10 hours, till your girlfriend gets home. Just sounds like you're bored - no friends, no hobbies so the void is filled with video games. If you had regular access to weed, you'd probably be a stoner by now.

Basically you need to get out. Money is not an issue; there are tons of things to that don't cost anything! Social meet-ups and evening classes don't cost that much. meetup.com probably has events for your area, if not check your J-forums or Mixi. If you start doing regular activities, you'll probably make new friends doing that anyway.

Thing is, your life will probably be better when you go to college (as it's full of fun exciting people and events), but at the same time it will be hard work, so you might hate it as much as school. so best to try and sort your head out now before first term starts.

Exercise is something I've always lacked. I played little sports in school, and have always been overweight. The one week I did do running, made me feel a lot better, then I quit when school came back up. I used the excuse that the bike to school was "enough".

I've been coming and going to Japan since 2006, my longest stay being 9 months. I'm not quite new to the culture, but I've got a lot to learn also.

It also might be weird talking about culture shock to a bunch of dudes who REALLY, REALLY want to live in Japan but I'm being serious. It's real and it effects everyone in some way or another. Especially this time of year when the weather starts turning cold.

I've been involved in the administration of the JET program in my prefecture for the last two years and this time of year is when people get hit the hardest with culture shock. Even people who speak Japanese, have some understanding of the culture, and have a strong desire to live here long term suffer from it.

Did you have the same trouble in your previous stays here?

Cheesemaster64 Wrote:Even when playing games in Japanese, you get about 10 percent using Japanese and then 90 percent just mindless thought.

What kind of games do you play (apart from SC2)? Personally I found RPGs to be extremely helpful when I was learning English - I feel like I learned around 30% of my English vocabulary just from Knights of the Old Republic and (the English versions of) Pokémon Blue, Silver and Sapphire. Visual Novels could also be beneficial, since you don't really do much apart from conversations. Playing MMORPGs with native speakers of your target language could also give you a lot of vocabulary and conversational practise, but if you are prone to addictions it is probably a bad idea - I stay away from MMORPGs because I am fully aware of the fact that I am a weak-willed addictive sucker who mostly fails at Real Life.

But yeah, aside from all that, video games really are a waste of time, I pretty much gave up on them since the beginning of my sophomore year. The only thing I play now is I Wanna Be The Guy, but I don't waste too much time on it, because whenever I play it I always end up tired and frustrated and give up on it for a week or so

If I were in Japan I'd be taking some cooking classes and maybe some kyudo. Yup.

[ファブリス]

From my experience I don't think anybody is truly lazy. Laziness is just one exit strategy among many others, as well as one of many ways to give oneself some kind of identity (ego). Being unhappy with yourself or your life is yet another exit strategy, it's lowering consciousness. Don't do that, it's pointless.

Try to aim for more consciousness in your life, to face the things that you unconsciously avoid and try to live a meaningful life for you. And those things you can't solve now, to accept them consciously as well and make peace with it, just knowing that you'll solve it or change it in due time.

These days I usually focus on one area of my life, and try to weed out all other "noise". I found that if I set myself too many challenges, the stress pushes me to those "exit strategies".

I'm in the same boat right now. I'm completely burning myself out day in and day out. I work at 6.30 in the morning, and I have classes until about 2.30, then I head home and just don't.do.anything.

A lot of the things you have said really apply to me, and I am grateful for everyone's responses so far.

I guess I don't really have any advice for you, but you're not alone, brother. And I'm not even in Japan!

Maybe home sick? Have you gone back to the US since April?