SC2? That game is AWESOME....

I can relate to your situation, although not as extreme. I'm on my final year in HS and I'm feeling WAY to distracted in school and I can't focus. I lack the motivation to be the good student I know I could be. But the hardest part is just starting the day right. Once you write the first paragraph to the essay, the rest comes naturally. Try to brake the cycle, get more sleep. Sleep and a good diet is actually the easiest way to counter depression. (And lots of sunshine.) I have a dietitian and a docter for parents so I guess I take that for granted.

I would reccomend walking to school. Yeh it's quite the walk but its a good way to relax and it actually releases endorphins. (Happy hormones.)

You have a girlfriend, tell her you are having a hard time adjusting to your current life. I'm sure she has infinitely more support than I.

Also, I would totally cream you in SC2! >

Take it easy!
-gyuujuice

Get your Vitamin D levels tested. If you have a lack of Vitamin D, that might be the reason for your depression. Back in stone age, we were outside all day and got enough sun, which is required to produce Vitamin D. Today we are inside more than ever before and our skin is covered almost completely. It's a typical disease of civilization, just like your weight problem.

The most expensive part is the testing, about $30 in Germany. You can get olive oil capsules with Vitamin D for a whole year for about $10 from ebay (make sure the seller is legit).

Vitamin D is also required for killing cancer cells (all of us have a few from time to time) so they don't become tumors, and for a strong immune system and calcium reception for your bones.

I'll come to Kyoto sometime next year and would be glad to do some jogging and training with you, though I don't know exactly when. Training is very good for learning and remembering. Also, the bacteria in the woods have shown to be benefitial for brain work, too. So go jogging or at least quick-walking in the woods as much as possible, no matter what the weather is. Most people are surprised how little the weather matters once you are sweating.

It's important to realize how bizarre and unhealthy this lifestyle is for you and how it's no wonder you have problems.

Vitamin D

Bacteria from forrest for brain (German only sorry)
http://www.focus.de/wissen/wissenschaft/...11652.html

I wish you much success!

Get off the brain rot !
Throw away all your video games, and your TV. Throw away your computer and buy one that has no games on in.

I get addicted to games too, so I don't keep them. You'll forget about the games in less than a day, and then you'll probably get bored and start taking walks, or studying, or starting a garden. Trust me, just throw them out.

Yeah, robnonstop brought up a good point. I was pretty depressed several months ago, and started taking Vitamin A B C D E and and Calcium Magnecium and Zinc (Careful not to take too much Vitamin A and D). I think it made palpable difference for me.

Oh yeah, and I would have to second the "try to exercise" proposition too, it really works, makes you feel powerful. I use a self-taught workout method (without any machines, it's all about using the weight of your own body) so you can do it at home, but to my knowledge, it hasn't been translated in English yet (sorry), but something equivalent might exist in your language. Anyway the only thing you will have to purchase is a (cheap) removeable bar to do pull-ups (in a doorway for example).

I know you get a lot of advices, but give it a try. Trying, that's the important part.

EDIT: yup, found it, it's called YOU ARE YOUR OWN GYM (sorry for the ad). And this method is geek approved, so don't worry about the military aspect. Don't hesitate to download it (on the quick stream from the mountain) and have a look. It could change your life.

I think healthy life style changes would be a big help and second the suggestions about a good diet, exercise, and creativity. I understand exactly how you feel, and sometimes struggle in a similar way.

Some idea's (kind of haphazard ごめん）-

Be open to finding a new hobby(s) or passion(s) in life - go do something you thought you might like to do, or have always wanted to do - or if you don't have one, try something. From my own experience, I discovered new things that I became very active in and gave me a great amount of enjoyment, and connected me to new friends too. For me it was dancing, playing guitar and harmonica at open mic's, snowboarding, DJing with turn tables, doing a community radio program, working with kids, creating art shows, playing basketball and ultimate frisbee, frisbee golf, weightlifting, yoga and now Japanese (not in that order). As years passed I discovered new things, and undoubtedly will continue to. Like snowboarding - I always thought it was cool, and looked fun, but one year I met people who were into it, and after watching some great videos I just knew I had to learn to do it. That really changed my life, and dreary winter became my favourite season! Learning a new skill is challenging, but immensely rewarding (as you must know having learned Japanese) and fun.

Get out in nature if you can. Take up a meditation practice. Maybe take fun a class - martial arts, dance, tai chi/chi gong, ect. My point is there are plenty of wonderful things to engage in that you have yet to discover for yourself, but if your willing to try new things, then your whole world can change. And you will probably never be bored (or rarely).

I also like video games, but as I became more involved in other things, they mostly fell to the wayside. They are really addicting, and while fun, don't help much in the happiness department.

I think Womacks23's points about culture shock may also apply - learn more about that for sure.

ファブリス makes a nice post as well. It makes me think of mindfulness practice - Also something I would strongly suggest. It's easy to "disconnect" from our lives, and it takes effort to be more conscious - but well worth it!

I just had a Psychology conference at my school about positive psychology. This is were they study happiness - it's very interesting and worth looking into. Maybe take some time off of gaming and use the computer to learn about psychology? One thing they talked about was keeping a gratitude journal. Even as little as 10 minuets writing a week can give you benefits.

Icecream's suggestions about community service and doing something nice for your girl are also really good. And the tip about not being home when she gets there sometimes I would also second.

I guess I'm kind of all over the place, but I have one more suggestion. I find for myself, using a steam room once or twice a week really gives me a mental and physical "cleanse". I haven't been to Japan, but when I go I will definitely seek out a nice 温泉 or 風呂屋 to clear my mind in.

It sounds like you're just in a rut, and culture shock is playing a part too. It also sounds like you have a pretty nice life too - finding a way to reconnect yourself and appreciating it all would be great - Get off the games!

EDIT: Oh great posts above about vitamins and SLEEP! Sleep and sleep hygiene is a huge factor! Just blacking out my windows and cutting down on the light sources at night are really a big help. Check out Flux too (changes the light on your computer at night).

Nothing is wrong with you - you just seem to be going from one extreme to the other:

From being overly active, until you burn out, to the point where there is no other activity, except playing games, doing the duties you can't avoid doing, until you bore out.

You are perfectly normal! What i would suggest you could do is - find a better work / life balance. By that i mean, dont let routine dictate your every step. If it is new things you need to keep you going, then, step out the front door, and explore your neighborhood. Once you have really settled down in Japan, surround yourself with the environment as much as possible, and fun will come back to your life no time!

If, on the other hand, you decide to keep up with going to the language school, after which you desperately wait for your girlfriends shift to end - she coming home, finding you playing video games, you will sooner or later come to the conclusion: This is the life i could live in my home country as well. Where there are no Japanese people, no excitement, nothing new.

There are so many things in the country you now live in that you could do, so many new things to experience, so many excitements - for free - just do it!

Cheer up, you are there, my friend! You are, where some of us wish to be right now, and sooner or later will be! Give yourself a kick in the butt, and try not to wait that something changes for you - you have to change it the way you want it to be.

And, if it helps, a rough schedule could not be wrong. Just so you have something to do in those times of the day where you usually have not. Distracting yourself from thoughts that would inevitably lead you to feeling more depressed / burned / bored out.

頑張ってね！ :-)

Drink more water. Seriously that has always been the solution to the problem whenever I had it.

It's nice seeing how people here are so supportive.

To the OP: if you know that your GF feels upset when she's home after a long shift only to find you playing videogames and wasting your precious time, then just don't do it. It isn't about doing whatever pleases her, but about both of you having a nice moment in your day each time you see each other after work and school.

Instead, try to do something like cleaning the house, making the dishes or something. You'll get a gazillion of bonus points for either buying or preparing something to eat for her.

Finally, wait for her one of this days with some flowers. Really, just do it.

Just uninstall Starcraft, you big baby.

And 13 hours a day, 6 days a week?! 彼女の爪の垢を煎じて飲んだらいいんだろ

buy a gaming laptop... play on the train back and forth... I recommend the one I have (Alienware m11x) or just wait a few more months and get a 3DS... school and Japanese knowledge is more important than anything outside of a train ride... I'm a huge gamer as well but my gaming is near non-existant at the moment thanks to college. You'll have time later... just chill out on it now.

This feeling of depression when everything is seemingly perfect is common, and a rare opportunity for self-development if you can recognize it.

In my mid-20s I found myself in a position where everything was perfect and I knew my life could not get any better. I had a bi-sexual live-in girlfriend who looked just like a Barbie doll. We were earning six figures working together as casino dealers at the Mirage in Las Vegas. I had a membership at an exclusive gym and was playing pick-up basketball games with celebrities and famous athletes. I had a pilot's license so my gf and I would rent a Cessna on weekends and fly all over the SW part of America. Only an idiot would not appreciate this life that I just lucked into.

It actually sent me into major depression.
This is it? This is the best life has to offer, and I am still not happy? Why? It took a vacation in Mexico witnessing extreme poverty for the first time to snap me out of it. I turned my focus away from myself and I began doing volunteer work and sponsoring various charitable causes. Finally I gave everything up (including the gf) in a search for life's meaning with a move to Hawaii and lived in a temple, and then homeless on the beaches for a few years.

That depression you are feeling is actually a rare opportunity. You have reached a point where everything is perfect and realize it didn't make you happy. How do you use this insight?

bodhisamaya -- if you were on Stargate SG-1, you would definitely be Daniel Jackson, and at the end of season 5, you would definitely have ascended.

Well I'm not sure I want to offer advice after such a wise post from bodhi, but I'll offer my experience.

I was feeling pretty bummed about being in Japan when I was last there- and it hit me hardest at the 9 month mark. I didn't want to be there, I had few friends, I had no money. Luckily summer was just around the corner and I'm a big beach volleyball player- I went to the beach in Fukuoka three times and just watched people play until I worked up the courage to ask a group of Japanese players around my age if I could play with them. It was one of the best things I ever did- I would play volleyball with them most Saturdays and Sundays and they became good friends of mine. Friends who were friends not just because I spoke English or was a foreigner, but because we shared a common passion. They threw me a party when I left and it was really touching, because I'd given up on finding friends like that in Japan.

Think about what you're passionate about that you share in common with others- one thing it sounds like you have going for you is that you have relatively good Japanese, so the language barrier isn't a problem. Seek out those people- they are out there somewhere.

Am I the only one who would NEVER have pictured bodhisamaya has a card dealer in Vegas?

I wonder if it's a coincidence that we all study Japanese now... I guess we'll never know...

I imagine bohisamaya as Liam Neeson in "Taken." Ultimate badass.

if you fly me to kyoto, i'll gladly punch you.

multiple times maybe, but only if requested.

i am also not responsible for any additional kicks or elbows thrown, as it is only a natural reaction when trying to cause injury to another human being.


----

if you play on the US server i can virtually punch you through SC2 as well.

Turn off the internet and games for a week.
Just a week. You can do it
See what happens.

I find that the best way to stay motivated is to just force myself to do what I set out to do. Once I focus on the task at hand, I forget about all my whining and hesitation and I become lost in my work. All of a sudden, the hours pass and I complete more work than I planned to accomplish. The momentum from that seems to keep me moving forward.

What's interesting to note is that idling around seems to have the opposite effect for me. I begin procrastinating because I don't look forward to the work that awaits me, and then the workload and anxiety further increase due to my procrastination, and thus the cycle repeats itself and nothing is accomplished.

Anyway, I agree with the advice to exercise. I especially recommend something highly aerobic but that requires strength as well. Swimming, boxing, and jiu-jitsu come to mind. Likewise, I stand by bodhisamaya's advice to take this opportunity to re-examine what you value in life. Although, I don't think it's necessary to quit your job or travel far and wide in order to do so.

Edit: I used to be a gamer also. At one point, I was playing WoW at least 6 hours a day. One day, my computer suddenly crashed when I was raiding with my elite guild in the newest raiding dungeon at the time (BWL). My guild had practically all the firsts on the server, and I had attained one of the highest pvp ranks on the server. I dedicated hours upon hours, day and night, to my achievements in this game. In short, WoW was my life. And in a mere instant, it was taken away from me. However, the following days were surprisingly refreshing. I was relieved that I didn't have to attend the nightly raid with my guild. I didn't have to struggle for hours in order to maintain my pvp ranking. In a few days, I was already hanging out with my friends and working out. I had already forgotten about the game that I had been so devoted to. I ended up not even fixing my computer. Since that event, I have never been as dedicated to gaming as I once had been. I can count the amount of times that I played video games this year on one hand. Try kicking the habit for a week or two. I was lucky, and everything seemed to come into perspective after I did. Maybe you'll be lucky too.

I definitely second bodhisamaya's advice: get homeless for a few years (or months maybe) on the beach... A new adventure every day (struggling for survival), meeting a lot of new people....and all that in Japan! This is a can't miss opportunity...don't let it go!

Actually I have some real input to add to this. Cheesemaster64, does playing games make you feel good with knowledge of your situation? From January of this year until May, I had no job and wasn't going to school. I was living at my dad's house (still am) doing pretty much nothing while somewhat looking for jobs. During that entire time I actually cut my video game playing to almost nothing BECAUSE it made me feel like I was a bigger loser. Right now I'm going to school again, just got hired last week at a job, and am playing video games again (RB3 / SC2).

You really just have to take action. You said you have a translation job, but that doesn't really get you out of the house, does it? Maybe on top of that job and your school you can search for a part-time job that helps you meet new people. Some retail or hospitality job where you work with people your age and customers. You can become friends with your co-workers and then hang out with them and keep meeting friends.

I don't know, I have a really hard time making friends. It's not that I'm anti-social, just shy and intimidated. You do realize your issues which is why I wonder why you don't take care of it. Go the extra mile for your girlfriend and spend time with her to relieve those horrendous workdays of hers. It's easy for me to say stuff like this because I'm not in this situation, so... I don't think I've ever been in anything similar.

Other than that, listen to what everybody else says. If you want to go really hardcore, let your girlfriend be in control of your gaming activities. I'm really opposite of you because I actually prefer routines and scheduling. I just love knowing what to expect.

How evenly are the duties divided up in your house? How much work/ study/ housework do you each do respectively? If your gf is working considerably more than you then I think you have a duty to keep the house running. Do you do the cleaning, laundry, errands, cooking? Your gf might be coming home pissed, not because you are playing video games, but because she sees a filthy house with no dinner prepared and the laundry still not done, because you've spent the whole day playing video games. If you do take on the household "management" that, along with school, should make for a pretty busy day and I would think your gf wouldn't have any problem with you taking it easy with a video game at the end of the day.

And about the culture shock thing; nine months is nothing. I've been here for four years and still struggle with it from time to time. I have a friend who's been here for 10 and still has to deal with it. Researching the phases and what to expect is really helpful. Just knowing that it happens to everyone and that it will pass can make it more bearable when you go through it. I will also say that finding someone who has lived here for a long time and who likes it (it's important not to find someone who is not just permanently stuck in the bitter/ jaded phase) has been incredibly helpful for me. Just having somone who has been where I am and has come out the other side to talk to has been absolutely vital to my sanity here.

I work two stops away from Kyoto here in Shiga. If you pay me in beer I will gladly come down and punch you. No need to fly me in anywhere. I also do 柔道 so armbars, headlocks, and throws can be administered as well. Contact for details.

Thanks everyone for the replies. I didn't think it would become a two pages.

There is so much to say that I am just going to skip it and say, thanks guys. There is some good sound advice here, just reading it made me feel better already.

I need to time digest / put this stuff into effect, so I'll post back in a week with what I've learned.

Thanks again! I really didn't think I'd find this kind of support on a Kanji forum =D.

C64, did you catch my HTML scrubber link in the Stardict thread: ClipboardFusion? I'm actually finding it really handy for other uses also.

http://forum.koohii.com/showthread.php?p...#pid118274

Also, oh, not just a girlfriend, but a *Japanese* girlfriend? You really need to be punched! But not if she were non-Japanese. ;p