3 different ways to say "You". I notice all 3 used in anime, with おまえ seeming to be the most common, and　"あなた？" being used to say like "what about you?"

Which ones are correct to use in different situations? I've heard that あなた is considered rude.

Just call everyone きさま(貴様). ^^

Edit: Err, JK.

All of them are rude, you call people by name in Japan. Kimi is used by guys to their girlfriends or bosses to their subordinates. Anata is as neutral as it gets, but still rude. It's often used by old couples. Omae can be used between friends I guess, but it's more rude than anata.

General advice: Never use a pronomen when speaking to someone. Always use their name and put the correct suffix on (when in doubt, use san).

You rarely use "you" in Japanese. People tend to be referred to by either their name or their position. It's actually kind of considered rude, and hopefully you'll soon understand why.

あなた -- is the most polite form of 'you" but sometimes has a connotation of familiarity. I've heard it translated as "Darling" in some places. If you absolutely have to use the pronoun "you", this would be your safest bet.

きみ (君） is typically used when talking to children and among men, who tend to speak more roughly (the whole 私　vs. 僕　vs. 俺 thing). It definitely places the speaker in a "higher" position than the listener. I'm not sure if you'd hear this in the workplace with a boss talking to a subordinate. Perhaps. A point of interest, the kanji for きみ is the same for くん, as in 田中君（たなかーくん）, which is used in place of さん.

お前 is a really rough you and I'd be very surprised if you heard it in polite conversation. It's typically used by those rough young men when speaking casually among themselves. I'd really try to refrain from using this, as it could get you in trouble.

手前/てめえ is an even rougher form of "you," and one you should probably not try to use.

Tzadeck Wrote:Just call everyone きさま(貴様). ^^

I prefer to call everyone うぬ myself.

Tobberoth Wrote:Kimi is used by guys to their girlfriends

Probably this is what you meant, but *some* guys use it to their girlfriends; it really depends on the girl. There was a discussion about this between 4 or 5 Japanese native females who all said they would not like to be called kimi by their boyfriends. 2 of them said that "omae" was fine (but kimi was not); the other three said omae was bad as well.

yudantaiteki Wrote:

Tobberoth Wrote:Kimi is used by guys to their girlfriends

Probably this is what you meant, but *some* guys use it to their girlfriends; it really depends on the girl. There was a discussion about this between 4 or 5 Japanese native females who all said they would not like to be called kimi by their boyfriends. 2 of them said that "omae" was fine (but kimi was not); the other three said omae was bad as well.

I'd say it depends more on the guy than the girl, however I guess a guy can't call a girl kimi if she won't date him because of it. According to Kinsui Satoshi, kimi comes from the same background as boku, a group of Japanese guys many years ago who were sort of similar to modern daigakusei, 書生. These were well-educated (or rather in the process of becoming well-educated) and that's sort of why they were the models for early heroes. (This is why male heroes always used boku before, astro boy being one example).

yudantaiteki Wrote:who all said they would not like to be called kimi by their boyfriends.

Yeah, as if anyone cared..

Yeah, I had a kind of awful misunderstanding with the usage of きみ. After dating my girlfriend for a while, I started using "きみ" in conversation quite often. I thought it was a term of endearment more than anything.

Anyway, I used it for a few weeks and then my girlfriend kinda got really upset about it one day. I guess it was really, really grating on her nerves. She said it felt really cold when I referred to her like that, like I was talking to a stranger or something. I was really surprised, as I thought there was quite a bit of warmth in it (just knowing that it was used by boyfriends to their girlfriends sometimes, I guess I assumed this). I didn't really pick up on the nuance. She was pretty upset about it. Looking back on it, I guess she calls me by name - every time. And of course, in awesome Japanese fashion, she held it in until she about exploded over what could've been solved by just saying "Um, don't call me that" the first time I said it.

Usage of the "you" pronoun in Japanese bothers me like crazy. Today I got my hair cut and I didn't know the guy's name, but we were having a decent conversation. But everytime I had to ask him about himself, I'd run into the problem of how to address him. Just surprisingly awkward, seeing as how simplistic it should be. heh... Every time I say "あなたは" it is like grating fingernails on chalkboard. I guess I should get into the habit of asking people's names more...and actually remembering it when they tell me.

One last note, I hear お前 constantly in high schools in conversation between students.

This in interesting. I'm glad I asked. I had the order of politeness backwards. I assumed おまえ was the most polite one because of the honorific "お". Say I saw someone in the street and their shoelace was untied. Granted I wouldn't know their name so if I referred to them as あなた that would be ok?

I imagine you'd either not mention it, or say "your honorable shoelace" 「お靴紐」thus avoiding the need for a pronoun at all. Like how you can casually ask for someone's name without using a pronoun:「お名前は？」「ごめん、お名前を忘れちゃったんだ。」

I'm terrible at culture questions like this, though, so don't take my word.

あなた is fine if you don't know the person's name, you know they're not above you in station, and you absolutely need to use one. For instance, if someone seems to forget their umbrella, you can say すみません、これはあなたのかさですか？

domokun1134 Wrote:This in interesting. I'm glad I asked. I had the order of politeness backwards. I assumed おまえ was the most polite one because of the honorific "お".

Well, actually it used to be polite, just like 貴様.

About お前, my wife did not react well to being referred to it by me. Luckily she was a bit drunk so was more forthcoming on her opinion. Yes, I used "luckily" with "drunk" in relation to being pseudo castigated. Only in Japan I guess.

And yes, I thought it was ok to use it solely because of the way it was used in "Last Christmas" between the two leads after their relationship developed.

Moral of the story: no ***** clue. Depends on the person and hope they tell you it's annoying them before they get really upset.

I hear a lot of students messing this up, and referring to me quite rudely without even meaning to. Usually when I ask, they say it's just what they hear in anime...

Moral of the story: anime isn't real life.

Aijin Wrote:Moral of the story: anime isn't real life.

　Wait, you mean I can't refer to everyone as てめえ?!

Aijin Wrote:I hear a lot of students messing this up, and referring to me quite rudely without even meaning to. Usually when I ask, they say it's just what they hear in anime...

Moral of the story: anime isn't real life.

Real life isn't real life

I call my girlfriend by her name, but actually I'm a little unsure if I need to add something after it like さん or ちゃん. Sometimes I use both of them, and sometimes just her name. She hasn't said anything about it, haha. I feel like さん sounds distant, but nothing might sound rude. And ちゃん seems too cutesy for me.

I've read that both きみ and あなた are used with guys to their girlfriends. People already mentioned about きみ. I hear that あなた sounds feminine coming from a guy, but it makes the girl feel equal and hopefully comfortable. Anybody know anything about this?

With friends, people in Kansai seem to use お前 a lot more than Kanto-ites (but this might just be because I'm around high school kids all day). Especially if they're joking arund in a ぼけ　つっこみ　type-a way.

I refer to my girlfriend by name, or egi-ya, which means baby in Korean. When I call her by name, I don't use any suffix, but if I was dating a Japanese girl, I would possibly use chan, at least if she was younger.

As for the situations where you HAVE to use "you": 90% of the time, you don't. Pretty much every sentence which needs "you" in English can be rephrased in Japanese to exclude it, and this is a skill well worth training.

An extra thing: One of my Japanese teachers often refers to us students as あんた. I'm annoyed by it, but she's Japanese so I'm guessing she doesn't feel it's all that bad, but I think it sounds horrible.

君を君を愛してる
心で見つめている
君を君を信じてる
寒い夜も

I've heard high school girls on the train in Osaka use お前

Tobberoth Wrote:An extra thing: One of my Japanese teachers often refers to us students as あんた. I'm annoyed by it, but she's Japanese so I'm guessing she doesn't feel it's all that bad, but I think it sounds horrible.

I think there's a tendency for us to be so inundated with "DON't USE SECOND PERSON PRONOUNS!!!!" (in an attempt to prevent foreigners from using them too often), that even the natural uses by native speakers start sounding wrong. I've had the same feeling when people used anata with me, but I think it's generally OK if the person you're speaking to is lower rank, or same rank in casual speech.

yudantaiteki Wrote:I've had the same feeling when people used anata with me, but I think it's generally OK if the person you're speaking to is lower rank, or same rank in casual speech.

I've always thought あなた　was mostly used by wives as an affectionate way of addressing their husbands. Since the Japanese husband slaves at the office 12 hours a day while the wife enjoys time with her child or plays with her friends during those hours, lower rank kind of makes sense.

brandon7s Wrote:

Aijin Wrote:Moral of the story: anime isn't real life.

　Wait, you mean I can't refer to everyone as てめえ?!

Well, on the other hand you might, uh, make conversations more interesting if you started putting だってばよ after every sentence I actually heard someone doing that once, haha!

bodhisamaya Wrote:君を君を愛してる
心で見つめている
君を君を信じてる
寒い夜も

I've heard high school girls on the train in Osaka use お前

Can you imagine this? 田中さんを田中さんを愛してる ... well, probably アレンさん　in this case.




In the light novel I'm reading, I'm pretty sure there's no pronouns in the narration. It always uses names or nothing at all. But in another light novel I've read, it uses pronouns quite a bit, and it sounds strange to me... I wonder why they're so different.

I call my GF by "kimi" sometimes and she doesn't mind at all. I think she likes it actually. She hates "omae" although I've heard it used in many different situations, between friends, from teacher to student in a joking fashion etc. "anata" is too old fashioned for young couples and I've never heard "teme' used outside of TV.