I usually say something like

いやいや　(this might me a local thing), 全然違うよ！<informal> or 違いますね <polite>. And make flustered hand and face gestures. Its totally fine/expected to go against someone like this even if its their opinion. You'd be amazed at how Japanese people will beat themselves/their family/group up in situations like this.

The only problem I have in Japan is when its something very trivial like chopstick abilty, cos its stupid/patronising to deny this if Im sitting there eating.

IceCream Wrote:mm, whats the normal response for the kind of compliment where someone says they like something about you, rather than that you're good at something? do you accept it because it's their subjective opinion rather than stating something objectively good about you? or should you still say some kind of いいえ？

If it's a stranger or acquaintance, one of typical replies you can use in many cases is お世辞が上手ですね. Its literal translation is "You're good at complimenting/flattering." You say this with a smile. The person who said they liked something about you would say something along the line of "いえ、本当ですよ," whose literal translation is "I'm serious." Then you go ありがとう.

If the speaker is your friend, you can say, for example, そんな、照れちゃうな。(If you're a guy, 照れるなぁ。might be better depending on your character.) You can say ありがとう too.

Well, I just realized I don't know how to say 照れる in English... How do I say the emotion shy people often have when they're complimented? It's similar to "embarrassed" but also happy at the same time. It's slightly uncomfortable but is not as strong as the "I-have-to-live-up-to-their-expectation" nervousness. I think "shy" is a similar concept, but 照れる has no negative connotation unless you're talking about an excessively effeminate guy.

magamo Wrote:How do I say the emotion shy people often have when they're complimented? It's similar to "embarrassed" but also happy at the same time. It's slightly uncomfortable but is not as strong as the "I-have-to-live-up-to-their-expectation" nervousness.

"squirm happily"?

IceCream Wrote:hmm. im not really sure either. probably the closest word i can think of for that is self-conscious, though i think this has more of a negative connotation than shyness. i dont think shyness is particularly negative though. maybe modesty?

Hmm. Shyness may not be particularly negative, but usually shy people aren't outgoing or talkative. Their shyness also often comes from lack of confidence. But everyone feels 照れ unless you're too arrogant. Extroverts can often feel 照れ too. 恥ずかしがる is close to "feel/be shy" in a sense, and shy guys are called 恥ずかしがり, which means a person who feels shy in the presence of other people. But 照れ is an emotion everyone including confident people can have when they're complimented. It's a combination of happiness and the slightly uncomfortable feeling that your natural modesty gives.

照れ屋 is a person who always feels 照れ when some says/does something good to him or her, and this is regarded as being too modest. 照れ屋 is easy to blush when complimented.

恥ずかしがり屋 is kind of synonymous, but it's more like being diffident and timid, and implies lack of confidence rather than modesty.

Argh! I can't explain this!

welldone101 Wrote:"squirm happily"?

I think this describes 照れる well. How do I say the 照れ emotion I have when I squirm happily when someone compliments me? 照れ is this happy and slightly uncomfortable emotion.

This reminds me of あきれる. I tried to explain its meaning to IceCream on irc, and I failed miserably. Well, translation is an art, isn't it? I think I have a better grasp of "squirm," "shy," and similar words in English now. Thank you guys!

Lately, I use 「いや、まだへたくそです〜」

I'm not sure how "natural" it sounds though...

Before that was 「いや、まだ小学一年生みたいです〜」

I stumbled onto a site, CARLA, which has a series of exercises on Giving and Receiving Compliments, so I'd thought I'd post it here. There's 10 exercises, brief commentary and sample expressions. The exercise I looked at:
-asked you come up with 2 sentences for 2 situations: casual & polite
-audio of a 4 line dialogue which you type in as dictation
-transcript of dialogue

It's part of a series, Strategies for Learning Speech Acts in Japanese based on teaching language for practical situations: apologies, refusals, requests, thanks.

It has this advice for folks reluctant to "become Japanese": Communication Strategies for Resisting Nativelike Behavior :-) Something oddly earnest about this project - but hopefully someone will find its content useful.

Wow Thora - That looks like some great information. I checked it out briefly, but I will look at it more when I have time.

So I used the "まだまだ" - And got a reaction of surprise that I did not expect. "Oh - that's how Japanese people speak! Etc., etc......" and she enthusiastically said it was a good way to respond, and gave me more compliments to which I was still unprepared to respond to (I only memorized the one simple one). At that point I had to come clean - "Uh...yeah I went and learned about that so I could make a good response to your compliment (more flustered awkwardness)." - So we kind of had a laugh about the whole thing.

I definitely think the social/cultural "become Japanese" factor is one of the most interesting aspects of the whole process.

皆さん　Thanks for all the posts　ー　With time I'll be developing more from the suggestions here. From where I'm at (2 months into my very first chance to speak Japanese, with a LIMITED vocabulary at my disposal) the most simple things are still super challenging. I sound like a brain damaged four year old! But I'm having fun, and seeing some improvements. Right now I get to meet with her for about 5 hours, once a week. But I will be seeking more forums to practice speaking as I go. I want to speak as much as is possible.