"Amae (ah-my) is a word of extraordinary importance in Japan’s traditional culture. It subsumes the fundamental principle underlying the traditional, idealized behavior of the Japanese, and although significantly weakened by cultural changes that have been going on in Japan in modern times, especially since the mid-1900s, it is still a vital factor in the overall mindset of the Japanese.
Amae, from the verb amaeru (ah-my-rue), refers to presuming upon the love and indulgence of others when speaking or behaving in a manner that will cause some level of inconvenience, irritation or some other form of friction … and not expecting any negative feedback.
To react properly to expressions or actions of amae requires that individuals repress all of their selfish instincts and behave toward others as mothers do toward beloved children — treating them honestly, generously and kindly, regardless of the circumstances.
In this idealized amae-based world of early Japan, the Golden Rule was that people should be able to depend upon each other without fear of being cheated, disadvantaged or embarrassed in any way. In other words, amae incorporated the concepts of absolute dependence and absolute trust in all human relations.
Of course, this amae morality was never practiced perfectly in Japan at any time, but it was sufficiently powerful to permeate the culture and to raise the standards of behavior of ordinary people in Japan well above the average found in other countries.
The inculcation of the amae principle in Japanese began to wane following the end of World War II in 1945, but its influence is still felt, even in the younger generations. Older people simply cannot feel at ease with others until they have developed an amae-type relationship with them.
This is still true today, especially in business relationships, and is one of the reasons why it generally takes longer to establish business ties in Japan than in Western countries. It is also the reason why many of the actions of Japanese are based on personal factors, rather than the “hard facts” espoused by Western businesspeople.
I introduced the concept of amae to Western businessmen as a vital factor in the attitudes and behavior of the Japanese in my book Japanese Etiquette & Ethics in Business, first published in 1959, and as of this writing still in print (in its 8th edition) at McGraw-Hill.
In that book I wrote that amae can be translated figuratively as “indulgent love,” and that it was the pillar around which the traditional character, personality and aspirations of the Japanese were built.
The principle and practice of amae are certainly not unique to Japan, but the Japanese were apparently the only people (other than perhaps isolated tribes) who made it the primary essence of their social system.
Many Western businesspeople who began visiting Japan from the 1960s on became fascinated by the amae concept but they had extreme difficulty in attempting to conduct themselves in an amae manner when dealing with their Japanese partners and suppliers.
In Western societies growing into adulthood has traditionally been related to repressing the need for amae and its use as a tactic or ploy in dealing with other people. In the Western context, achieving adulthood means leaving most amae thoughts and behavior behind, in one’s childhood.
However, Westerner businesspeople who became familiar with the amae concept from 1960 on were, in fact, able to improve their relationships with their Japanese contacts because they better understood the cultural rationale of their behavior. But this familiarity did not end all of the friction and misunderstandings between Westerners and their Japanese partners.
The power of amae in Japanese culture — both in business and in private relationships — has noticeably diminished but it is still the ideal foundation for all relationships in Japan, and must be understand and dealt with in order to create and maintain the harmony that is required by the society.
In recent years it has become fairly common to see the word amae in Western books, magazines and in the news media in reference to Japanese attitudes and behavior, and remarkably, some of the changes that have occurred in the Western approach to personnel management are based on amae principles.
The adoption of some elements of amae in corporate behavior in the United States in particular — in the 1970s and 80s — was a direct result of the rise of Japan as an economic superpower. These elements, expressed in different terms, included a much more personal and employee-oriented approach to management."
http://knowledgenetwork.thunderbird.edu/...anagement/
your thoughts? Ever felt this by some Japanese person?
I'm quite interested in this subject actually, I bought a book called "the anatomy of dependence", by Takeo Doi, which should arrive sometime around next week. Until then, I'll try to do some more research on this. Any recommendations on this subject please share.
EDIT: Found another link
http://www.sociology.org/content/vol005....-nomi.html
Amae, from the verb amaeru (ah-my-rue), refers to presuming upon the love and indulgence of others when speaking or behaving in a manner that will cause some level of inconvenience, irritation or some other form of friction … and not expecting any negative feedback.
To react properly to expressions or actions of amae requires that individuals repress all of their selfish instincts and behave toward others as mothers do toward beloved children — treating them honestly, generously and kindly, regardless of the circumstances.
In this idealized amae-based world of early Japan, the Golden Rule was that people should be able to depend upon each other without fear of being cheated, disadvantaged or embarrassed in any way. In other words, amae incorporated the concepts of absolute dependence and absolute trust in all human relations.
Of course, this amae morality was never practiced perfectly in Japan at any time, but it was sufficiently powerful to permeate the culture and to raise the standards of behavior of ordinary people in Japan well above the average found in other countries.
The inculcation of the amae principle in Japanese began to wane following the end of World War II in 1945, but its influence is still felt, even in the younger generations. Older people simply cannot feel at ease with others until they have developed an amae-type relationship with them.
This is still true today, especially in business relationships, and is one of the reasons why it generally takes longer to establish business ties in Japan than in Western countries. It is also the reason why many of the actions of Japanese are based on personal factors, rather than the “hard facts” espoused by Western businesspeople.
I introduced the concept of amae to Western businessmen as a vital factor in the attitudes and behavior of the Japanese in my book Japanese Etiquette & Ethics in Business, first published in 1959, and as of this writing still in print (in its 8th edition) at McGraw-Hill.
In that book I wrote that amae can be translated figuratively as “indulgent love,” and that it was the pillar around which the traditional character, personality and aspirations of the Japanese were built.
The principle and practice of amae are certainly not unique to Japan, but the Japanese were apparently the only people (other than perhaps isolated tribes) who made it the primary essence of their social system.
Many Western businesspeople who began visiting Japan from the 1960s on became fascinated by the amae concept but they had extreme difficulty in attempting to conduct themselves in an amae manner when dealing with their Japanese partners and suppliers.
In Western societies growing into adulthood has traditionally been related to repressing the need for amae and its use as a tactic or ploy in dealing with other people. In the Western context, achieving adulthood means leaving most amae thoughts and behavior behind, in one’s childhood.
However, Westerner businesspeople who became familiar with the amae concept from 1960 on were, in fact, able to improve their relationships with their Japanese contacts because they better understood the cultural rationale of their behavior. But this familiarity did not end all of the friction and misunderstandings between Westerners and their Japanese partners.
The power of amae in Japanese culture — both in business and in private relationships — has noticeably diminished but it is still the ideal foundation for all relationships in Japan, and must be understand and dealt with in order to create and maintain the harmony that is required by the society.
In recent years it has become fairly common to see the word amae in Western books, magazines and in the news media in reference to Japanese attitudes and behavior, and remarkably, some of the changes that have occurred in the Western approach to personnel management are based on amae principles.
The adoption of some elements of amae in corporate behavior in the United States in particular — in the 1970s and 80s — was a direct result of the rise of Japan as an economic superpower. These elements, expressed in different terms, included a much more personal and employee-oriented approach to management."
http://knowledgenetwork.thunderbird.edu/...anagement/
your thoughts? Ever felt this by some Japanese person?
I'm quite interested in this subject actually, I bought a book called "the anatomy of dependence", by Takeo Doi, which should arrive sometime around next week. Until then, I'll try to do some more research on this. Any recommendations on this subject please share.
EDIT: Found another link
http://www.sociology.org/content/vol005....-nomi.html
