Oh man. Alright, a couple of things. First, high five to Jarvik. We need to get together for a beer sometime. Hahah.
As for TheTrueBlue, I want to just beam things into your brain because you've spent so much time building this fantasy up in your mind that you've missed the forest for the trees. You're not a knight in shining armor. You're not here to save a beautiful maiden from the poverty and shame of a lesser man. Girls don't want that. If anything, the current generation is sort of departing from traditional gender roles. A lot of girls are trying out this "parasite single" thing where they live with their parents and shun relationships so that they can buy clothes and vacation with their girlfriends. Why? They don't need a knight in shining armor to save them from the pitfalls of modernity. They have credit cards and vibrators. In this day and age, relationships are pretty much optional unless you want to have children. Go there, and well, children don't really jibe with this eternal honeymoon thing you've got going on here, so let's talk.
So let's see here... I've already said this, but let me reiterate it: the first time you have sex is nothing special. No matter how many mannequins you've practiced on, Kinsey Institute research papers you've read-- despite the knowledge you may or may not have gained from browsing Wikipedia and the Kama Sutra, the first time you have sex, it's going to be a humbling experience. It may be good, it may be bad, but the point is, it's not going to be this prefect construction you've laid out in your mind. You're not going to remember it forever, or write about how perfect it was in your journal that you keep in a locked steel box.
Tell me, have you ever taken a really, really good nap? Eaten shaved ice so thin it looks like folded silk on a hot summer day? Been snowboarding? Taken an amazing picture at sunset? Won a contest that you were sure you had no chance of winning? In doing any one of these things, or anything like it, did you put it off and put it off because you wanted the first time to be "special"? No, of course not. Snowboarding is fun as hell the first time, but you're going to fall on your ass over and over; at the end of it all, you're going to be so sore you can hardly move in the morning. The more often you do it, the more fun it gets, because you're not falling over every time you get off the lift. And shaved ice? Of course you're not going to wait and wait and wait-- it's a snow cone, what's the big deal? The sunset landscape? You go out there every day and shoot and shoot and shoot and eventually you come back home with a winner. I take naps all the time, and they are GREAT, every time. But I don't obsess over them, staying awake so that I can one day take the perfect nap! My point is that sex (for the first time) only seems special and different and important because you've placed so much artificial importance on it.
Sex, however, isn't about you. It's not about fulfilling your prefect fantasy that you are projecting onto your future mates. It requires a partner who is another person, who probably has a completely different thing they want. You can put off snowboarding for the first time as long as you like, because the only thing that matters is that it's your first time. With sex, you don't get the luxury. I say girls here, but really, people in general do things on their own. What if I told you that there was a girl in Japan who was involved in her own business, looking to come to America and sweep a man off his feet so that she could provide and care for him for the rest of his life. The whole concept is absurd, and somewhat silly, don't you think? Are you going to go to Japan and ask girls you meet if they've ever had sex before? Is that really what matters to you? Not to be snide, but your posts sounds like you want your life to end the way Japanese dating sims end-- meeting the perfect girl randomly, gaining her acceptance with gifts and sweet nothings, proceeding through a series of dates that start innocent and eventually get more intimate, and then sex for the first time together where both of you cum at once under a shower of rose petals. The challenge and narrative can be fun in a game, but that's not life, man. There's no infinite honeymoon because real people with real feelings don't want to dote around in love 24/7. They have goals. They want to get things done. They want the latest iPod and that cute new dress they saw. Or that promotion at work. I mean look at us. Here, we want the kanji.
If someone came into your life, right now, and said, "TheTrueBlue? I love you. I have money and a future. I'm going to take care of you. You can sell off your assets and the business you're involved in and forget about Japan because you don't need all that with me." Would you take them up on their offer?
It's actually kind of funny, though, really-- comical! Imagine if someone told you that they wanted to, say, eat mayonasie, mutually for the first time, together. That they'd been saving their tastebuds for that one, perfect first taste. Isn't that a little odd? How is sex any different? (If your argument is something like "Oh, well sex is this religious thing between..." well, I can't help you, other than to say that sex is no more religious than taking a piss-- your privates are exposed and you have to clean up afterward, in both cases.)
As for TheTrueBlue, I want to just beam things into your brain because you've spent so much time building this fantasy up in your mind that you've missed the forest for the trees. You're not a knight in shining armor. You're not here to save a beautiful maiden from the poverty and shame of a lesser man. Girls don't want that. If anything, the current generation is sort of departing from traditional gender roles. A lot of girls are trying out this "parasite single" thing where they live with their parents and shun relationships so that they can buy clothes and vacation with their girlfriends. Why? They don't need a knight in shining armor to save them from the pitfalls of modernity. They have credit cards and vibrators. In this day and age, relationships are pretty much optional unless you want to have children. Go there, and well, children don't really jibe with this eternal honeymoon thing you've got going on here, so let's talk.
So let's see here... I've already said this, but let me reiterate it: the first time you have sex is nothing special. No matter how many mannequins you've practiced on, Kinsey Institute research papers you've read-- despite the knowledge you may or may not have gained from browsing Wikipedia and the Kama Sutra, the first time you have sex, it's going to be a humbling experience. It may be good, it may be bad, but the point is, it's not going to be this prefect construction you've laid out in your mind. You're not going to remember it forever, or write about how perfect it was in your journal that you keep in a locked steel box.
Tell me, have you ever taken a really, really good nap? Eaten shaved ice so thin it looks like folded silk on a hot summer day? Been snowboarding? Taken an amazing picture at sunset? Won a contest that you were sure you had no chance of winning? In doing any one of these things, or anything like it, did you put it off and put it off because you wanted the first time to be "special"? No, of course not. Snowboarding is fun as hell the first time, but you're going to fall on your ass over and over; at the end of it all, you're going to be so sore you can hardly move in the morning. The more often you do it, the more fun it gets, because you're not falling over every time you get off the lift. And shaved ice? Of course you're not going to wait and wait and wait-- it's a snow cone, what's the big deal? The sunset landscape? You go out there every day and shoot and shoot and shoot and eventually you come back home with a winner. I take naps all the time, and they are GREAT, every time. But I don't obsess over them, staying awake so that I can one day take the perfect nap! My point is that sex (for the first time) only seems special and different and important because you've placed so much artificial importance on it.
Sex, however, isn't about you. It's not about fulfilling your prefect fantasy that you are projecting onto your future mates. It requires a partner who is another person, who probably has a completely different thing they want. You can put off snowboarding for the first time as long as you like, because the only thing that matters is that it's your first time. With sex, you don't get the luxury. I say girls here, but really, people in general do things on their own. What if I told you that there was a girl in Japan who was involved in her own business, looking to come to America and sweep a man off his feet so that she could provide and care for him for the rest of his life. The whole concept is absurd, and somewhat silly, don't you think? Are you going to go to Japan and ask girls you meet if they've ever had sex before? Is that really what matters to you? Not to be snide, but your posts sounds like you want your life to end the way Japanese dating sims end-- meeting the perfect girl randomly, gaining her acceptance with gifts and sweet nothings, proceeding through a series of dates that start innocent and eventually get more intimate, and then sex for the first time together where both of you cum at once under a shower of rose petals. The challenge and narrative can be fun in a game, but that's not life, man. There's no infinite honeymoon because real people with real feelings don't want to dote around in love 24/7. They have goals. They want to get things done. They want the latest iPod and that cute new dress they saw. Or that promotion at work. I mean look at us. Here, we want the kanji.
If someone came into your life, right now, and said, "TheTrueBlue? I love you. I have money and a future. I'm going to take care of you. You can sell off your assets and the business you're involved in and forget about Japan because you don't need all that with me." Would you take them up on their offer?
It's actually kind of funny, though, really-- comical! Imagine if someone told you that they wanted to, say, eat mayonasie, mutually for the first time, together. That they'd been saving their tastebuds for that one, perfect first taste. Isn't that a little odd? How is sex any different? (If your argument is something like "Oh, well sex is this religious thing between..." well, I can't help you, other than to say that sex is no more religious than taking a piss-- your privates are exposed and you have to clean up afterward, in both cases.)
Edited: 2009-07-16, 1:11 am
women being available in Japan. I will endeavor to moderate my expectations as you've advised, and as I've written all along that I try to do. Also your spouse's experience with your culture is a fascinating point to consider. You sound like a truly good person, and I wish you and yours the best.
However, smart, empowered women who know what they want and work towards their goals are pretty sexy, as far as I'm concerned.
