I was wondering how long it would take until it would get ugly in here... every thread about dating in Japan I've seen has ended in flames because someone posts stuff like what chorismos did. XD;

I can really only reinforce what I've said before: in my opinion, you should be comfortable with yourself first before attempting to become one half of a couple. There's a quote I once read that I liked that went, "Love is about farting and morning breath." Nonsensical, yes? What it means, IMO, is that love isn't always going to be about hot sex, romantic dinners, soulful talks, and running through a field of sunflowers together; you also have to learn how to arrange yourself with another person, how to make the best decisions for yourself and that other person, and how to make compromises. There are going to be things about the other person you won't like, and you're going to have to have the emotional maturity to either solve these things through long and honest talks, or learn to live with them. Likewise, there are going to be things about you your partner is going to hate -- it's unavoidable, really.

Being secure in who you are as a person BEFORE jumping into a relationship is vital, because you can't expect a relationship to fix everything for you. You can't solve your insecurities by living only for your partner, or that will come back to slap you fast. Your partner is not responsible for solving your issues for you, and neither are you for solving theirs.

Love is nice, but it's still not the melting of two souls: it's two souls doing their hardest to arrange themselves with each other, and to share for life. It seems obvious for me that for that to be successful, both partners should have a well-developed sense of self.

danieldesu Wrote:Theoretically speaking, a woman would be happier to share 1/10 of a REALLY REALLY great guy than to have a whole REALLY REALLY mediocre guy.

Um. What? Personally I'd rather be single than take either of those options, and I have a feeling I'm not the only one.

Kaede Wrote:

danieldesu Wrote:Theoretically speaking, a woman would be happier to share 1/10 of a REALLY REALLY great guy than to have a whole REALLY REALLY mediocre guy.

Um. What? Personally I'd rather be single than take either of those options, and I have a feeling I'm not the only one.

I'm a woman also, and personally I also wouldn't (I really don't care about my partner's wealth because I'm dead-set on staying financially independent forever), but there's some proof for this. I've done a little reading on book on evolution in my spare time, and while I'm not an expert, many of these have reinforced the following: that anti-polygamy laws exist mainly to protect men, because, if given the choice, a lot of women prefer to be the second wife of a CEO than the first wife of a woodcutter. Apparently that has been the natural development in all cultures that have had polygamy laws.

Are all women like that? No, but there's a tendency. It makes biologic sense, too: with a gestation period of 9 months and a relatively limited number of possible children in a lifetime, women are a lot pickier when it comes to choosing a mate, and financial security/dominant genes are of the highest concern, whereas men can have a nearly unlimited number of children and thus gravitate more toward keeping harems (as can be seen by the huge number of harems/multiple wives that leaders and emperors of all cultures have had throughout history).

But this is just biology, and as sentient beings, we're still given a choice, so these things don't necessarily have to mean much.

chorismos Wrote:I don’t like generalisations but statistical/empirical patterns can be difficult to ignore; the observations below (aimed at anyone contemplating a longer-term, committed relationship to a Japanese Woman) are based on what I’ve read/heard and in some cases observed (in Tokyo) and would apply equally to mixed (Caucasian/ Japanese) and Japanese-only relationships:

i. Japanese Women (JW) have a lower sexual drive than women from other cultures (especially Caucasian) and will usually expect the man to initiate the act; over time Japanese partners will commonly cease having sex altogether

ii. JW expect men to know implicitly when their partners want sex and regard it as affrontery if their partner in any way initiates sex without this tacit 'understanding'; this is also used as a defence mechanism (excuse) over time to stop advances

iii. JW will avoid talking about emotions or sexual matters in a relationship at all costs; if the subject is raised they will have flight or fight responses or 'seize up' (physically and verbally)

iv. JW prefer to ignore issues in a relationship or pretend they are not there, rather than discuss them - a 'grin and bear it' response; if discussed they will either resort to one of two responses (a) it is due to ‘character’ etc therefore ‘cannot be changed’ (b) it is their fault completely and they don't know how to change

v. JW will tend to use sex (and very skilfully) as a ploy to lure men into marriage after which there is no perceived strategic advantage; sex at that point becomes at best procreation only (ie not enjoyment)

vi. once procreation is not longer a valid motivation JW see no obligation towards their husbands to perform sexually

vii. JW have a strong tendency to view husbands as brotherly figures and family and can for this reason find the mere thought of sexual engagement abhorrent; it is common for this tendency to arise over time

viii. JW will see nothing unusual in a relationship or marriage that is 'loveless' or devoid of sex and the topic becomes an anathema to them

ix. JW will not express openly their love or discuss it and will avoid public affection at any cost (even simple gestures such as holding hands)

A couple of other practical points:

(a) Contemporary JW do not appear to ‘have’ the concept of ‘love’ other than what is borrowed from Western romance novels/films etc; their interest in it is sparked mainly by curiosity (this may have been different in prior history as much early Japanese literature seems to attest)

(b) JW are of two types, those who want to stay (in Japan) and those who want to go; of those who want to go many will want to return

© Foreigners lack any access rights to children in Japan following divorce there (btw there are many documented ‘child abduction’ cases where JW return to Japan from abroad with their children and vanish, but I don’t know whether this is exclusive to Japan)

(d) JW think in ways which can appear incomprehensible (presumably from a deep cultural and society-gendered basis) to ‘Western males’; I’ve heard this expressed more simply many times as ‘JW are mad’ but many Western men I've met say the same of women in general

(e) It is usually highly recommended to engage a good lawyer to draft a pre-nuptial agreement that is signed by both parties (this may not be legally binding but will have persuasive value in court should the need arise)

(f) I’ve not seen any documentary evidence that divorce rates between mixed race marriages in Japan are any higher than the standard divorce rate

(g) Many Japanese women are extremely bitter about perceived/actual injustices and sexual discrimination in Japanese society but repress this through society constraints or sublimate it into their work patterns (overtime/stress/death); this (especially the work patterns, whatever their cause) can build tension in relationships.

Finally, in the words of the immortal Frank Zappa, ‘broken hearts are for arseholes’; if you’re looking for happiness in love or marriage, best of luck and pick up a copy of Proust’s ‘The Captive’ from 'In Search of Lost Time'.

most of what he says is extreme, but there is some truth in it. however, most of the problems he mentions stem from language issues and not issues with woman. after all, if you can talk to the person, you can figure out whether or not you actually want to be with them and work things out. if you can't bring up any of these issues in japanese, than obviously that's the problem (not the woman).

one issue he raised, and one nobody seems to have caught on to, is the very serious problem that japan doesn't respect a foreign person when it comes to children. i've known at least 2 couples that have gotten divorced and split the father and son up permanantly. because this is a "uchi" problem as opposed to a "soto" problem," the police really don't care. it's really quite terrible.

as far as dating japanese woman goes, the biggest problem i've had has been language. it's hard enough to communicate in one's native language. doing it in a foreign language adds even more twists and turns. i would argue that around 90% of chorismos' issues stem from language issues.

of course he highlighted the bad and ignored the good. but i don't want to go on and on about the good... we don't want it to turn into "that" thread =/.

one final point: nothing in his post was racist. careful how you use that term. he spoke about culture, but i didn't get the sense that race really entered the picture... unless of course you view japanese people as a race. which i don't.

TGWeaver Wrote:

chorismos Wrote:I don’t like generalisations ......


(g) Many Japanese women are extremely bitter about perceived/actual injustices and sexual discrimination in Japanese society but repress this through society constraints or sublimate it into their work patterns (overtime/stress/death); this (especially the work patterns, whatever their cause) can build tension in relationships.

Finally, in the words of the immortal Frank Zappa, ‘broken hearts are for arseholes’; if you’re looking for happiness in love or marriage, best of luck and pick up a copy of Proust’s ‘The Captive’ from 'In Search of Lost Time'.

most of what he says is extreme, but there is some truth in it.

So you mean there was no satire within at all? It's not a nihilistic perspective of women in general, intentionally plastered on to the image of a Japanese woman? This individual actually believes what he/she typed?

Damn!? That's fuktup.

Quote:one final point: nothing in his post was racist. careful how you use that term. he spoke about culture, but i didn't get the sense that race really entered the picture... unless of course you view japanese people as a race. which i don't.

Good luck convincing people on that one. You could provide all the scientific fact in the universe and still, this would be called racist. Not prejudiced, over generalized, or ignorant. It's RACIST. I do look forward to the day where people can make the distinction without any ulterior motives, though.

Wait, in light of my new conclusion that females are a different race, his post is indeed racist.

aijin Wrote:I would never go to a Japanese messageboard and start saying that all American guys I met were fat, acne-ridden idiots with complete gauche, and I would expect you not to make such wide generalizations either.

And yet, you just did. Whether as an example or not you just posted this. Don't let these sort of things bring you down. BTW the arguments in that post were so overgeneralized they didn't warrant a rebuttal.

yinake Wrote:Are all women like that? No, but there's a tendency.

All women are like that, save for natural born lesbians. The desire for independence is a socially influenced/enforce aspect of the individual. Were you born into a less "normal" environment these sort of tendency would manifest within you as well, no?

Quote:But this is just biology, and as sentient beings, we're still given a choice, so these things don't necessarily have to mean much.

Let's not forget choice is a luxury afforded by the few. The more well off you are the more "choice" you have.

IceCream Wrote:

danieldesu Wrote:Theoretically speaking, a woman would be happier to share 1/10 of a REALLY REALLY great guy than to have a whole REALLY REALLY mediocre guy.

The reality of this is actually thought to be the reason that the "psychopath" gene has never been evolved out of society...

Chances are that as long as stability is distributed unevenly, I think, these sort of genes will continue to flourish.

Tzadeck Wrote:Likewise, other animals rape each other, and some do it quite often. Of course, this is called 'coercive sex' (largely because nobody wants to imply that rape can have biological causes). You can read a bit about it on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexu...ercive_sex

Should we judge whether or not to rape based on whether there is a biological tendency to do so? Seems like a no.

There are some places where a woman can be killed for admitting to being raped. Indirectly, rape is acceptable within these sort of societies. Food for thought.

vosmiura Wrote:I went to college tree times and flunked out, and now I think what's the point of college anyway? There are no animals that go on to higher education the animal world.

Sorry, I couldn't resist, and j/k

That's true. But animals are doing whatever it takes to survive. College within the human hierarchy is one of those things. If you decide not to do it you must pursue other means of survival. But by doing this, unless you're a hardcore, punch a chick in the face, alpha type, you're putting your bright feathers through a warm wash and thus dulling them out.

dat5h Wrote:*edit
just so ya know, you were indeed talking about the Osprey in your past post. HOWEVER, the study described in your documentary showed a "rare" occurrence of polyandry (females with multiple male mates) under conditions where every nest was having a mean of less than one baby bird. In essence, the species is dying and are fighting to survive. If this is the case, you might expect a species to adopt a new sexual habit to survive.

Interesting. So they did what it took given their circumstances?

Just a little clarification:
Cheating by definition is being dishonest and is not a positive thing for any relationship. If you take a sincere vow not to have relations outside of that marriage, then that vow should be honored. If the rules of a relationship do not include exclusivity in relations and both parties are always honest, there is no cheating occurring.

As a side note, my former Lama in Maui (deceased now) warned me 12 years ago to stay away from romantic relationships. The impermanent nature and intense attachment invariably lead to eventual intense suffering. Besides that, the continuous drama distracts from the more important focus on researching the nature of self. This, along with his many other wise recommendations, I obviously have not followed.

bodhisamaya Wrote:As a side note, my former Lama in Maui (deceased now) warned me 12 years ago to stay away from romantic relationships. The impermanent nature and intense attachment invariably lead to eventual intense suffering. Besides that, the continuous drama distracts from the more important focus on researching the nature of self. This, along with his many other wise recommendations, I obviously have not followed.

I've attempted that philosophy multiple times, and I fail miserably every time If you ever find a trick to it, let me know (short of castration).

Wooow I'm beginning to think I need to just stay away from this thread. So many things being said are making me angry, and making me lose respect for several forum members..... Unfortunately my own morbid curiousity will probably make me keep reading

Yinake Wrote:I've done a little reading on book on evolution in my spare time, and while I'm not an expert, many of these have reinforced the following: that anti-polygamy laws exist mainly to protect men, because, if given the choice, a lot of women prefer to be the second wife of a CEO than the first wife of a woodcutter. Apparently that has been the natural development in all cultures that have had polygamy laws.

I have done no reading on the subject, but speaking just from my own ideas about people and relationships (and from the point of view of someone born and raised in America) I think it's more that "a lot of women think they would prefer to be the second wife of a CEO than the first wife of a woodcutter." It's one thing to say you're fine with sharing a husband as long as he provides for you, it's another thing entirely to actually go through with it happily. I think, at least here in the US, making a polygamous relationship actually work would be impossible for most people, and would require a lot of work regardless. (...Not that all relationships don't require a lot of work, of course. But I think polygamy would present all sorts of special challenges.)

Aijin Wrote:

bodhisamaya Wrote:As a side note, my former Lama in Maui (deceased now) warned me 12 years ago to stay away from romantic relationships. The impermanent nature and intense attachment invariably lead to eventual intense suffering. Besides that, the continuous drama distracts from the more important focus on researching the nature of self. This, along with his many other wise recommendations, I obviously have not followed.

I've attempted that philosophy multiple times, and I fail miserably every time If you ever find a trick to it, let me know (short of castration).

Eight years ago I took a vow of celibacy for 18 months to see who was in control, me or my libido. Going without sex is actually easier than one might think if the decision is made with a definite purpose. It is amazing how much free time magically appears when not trying to impress the opposite sex. That being said... The sexual energy one feels when beginning a new relationship is incredibly wonderful. I can't imagine only feeling that once in my life. If I am in love with someone, I want her to feel that as many times as possible as well. It is not just about the physical act. Time stands still with each new love.

こんにちわ
Sorry to instigate my own tangent into these fascinating and passionate discussions, but I'd like to respond to some of the kind folks who obliged me. I should like, if possible, to get a second opinion from 先輩達 given that:

- I don't believe I have confidence or self-esteem issues, in fact I fear that some other people may get the "arrogant a-hole" vibe from me IRL from time to time. I really have a high opinion of myself.... ごめん。。。

@danieldesu - if I may be terse and blunt, I don't have problems approaching and talking to any girl, I don't try to convince anyone of anything, as it doesn't matter to me what girls think of me anyway. Unless its a business associate or an accomplished individual (scholar, professional, nobel laureate), I don't care what they think, I'm me, not a list of accomplishments.

@IceCream - If I sound desperate, it's because I'm desperate for advice from the experienced forum-goers here. I truly really want to find the girl for me in Japan, but I don't expect to find her right away and I won't be bending over backwards for any girl.

@thermal -

thermal Wrote:I think IceCream is right in that if you are needing this relationship then you will not come off as independent (and attractive). And if you do find the girl of your dreams you will struggle with the relationship due to a lack of self-esteem + lack of relationship experience and it will probably fail.

Fortunately I don't have any of these problems.

Thank you 先輩達 for your advice and admonishments, but I hope to get a revised prospectus if possible， now that I've hopefully cleared up the miscommunication on my part. 済みませんでした。

[[[ I'm assuming a humble position as best I can because of my respect for and appreciation for the life experiences of the forum members here, and the conventions of Japanese culture regarding humility. Those are the only reasons why I'm trying very hard to be modest. ]]]

- 童貞 kamo, but I've had experience bringing girls to orgasm in bed, getting their numbers in a few minutes, and leading them on etc. I've been in relationships, but I don't want sex with someone I don't really love, physical attraction doesn't do it for me, high priced great looking escorts are a dime a dozen in most cities, I don't want to waste my first time or (as naive as it may [[mistakenly]] sound) my first kiss (on the lips) and create a worthless memory in such a way.

- I know that moving to Japan won't solve all my problems, I'm going there to find the significant other in my life, I'll still have other baggage as with anyone else.

- I'm sorry, but girls in New York in general just repulse me to no end. The way they look, the way they talk... from college girls from NYU and Columbia to Italian girls from Long Island... *shudder... God save me. This eccentric aesthestic may be pathological, and I have met my kind of girl, but only on trips to visit family in China.

Really, thank you guys for your counsel, and especially the info about how dating works in Japan. Please let me know if I'm still

danieldesu Wrote:everything you are doing is wrong

真面目にお願いします

chorismos Wrote:I don’t like generalisations but statistical/empirical patterns can be difficult to ignore; the observations below (aimed at anyone contemplating a longer-term, committed relationship to a Japanese Woman) are based on what I’ve read/heard and in some cases observed (in Tokyo) and would apply equally to mixed (Caucasian/ Japanese) and Japanese-only relationships:

i. Japanese Women (JW) have a lower sexual drive than women from other cultures (especially Caucasian) and will usually expect the man to initiate the act; over time Japanese partners will commonly cease having sex altogether

ii. JW expect men to know implicitly when their partners want sex and regard it as affrontery if their partner in any way initiates sex without this tacit 'understanding'; this is also used as a defence mechanism (excuse) over time to stop advances

iii. JW will avoid talking about emotions or sexual matters in a relationship at all costs; if the subject is raised they will have flight or fight responses or 'seize up' (physically and verbally)

iv. JW prefer to ignore issues in a relationship or pretend they are not there, rather than discuss them - a 'grin and bear it' response; if discussed they will either resort to one of two responses (a) it is due to ‘character’ etc therefore ‘cannot be changed’ (b) it is their fault completely and they don't know how to change

v. JW will tend to use sex (and very skilfully) as a ploy to lure men into marriage after which there is no perceived strategic advantage; sex at that point becomes at best procreation only (ie not enjoyment)

vi. once procreation is not longer a valid motivation JW see no obligation towards their husbands to perform sexually

vii. JW have a strong tendency to view husbands as brotherly figures and family and can for this reason find the mere thought of sexual engagement abhorrent; it is common for this tendency to arise over time

viii. JW will see nothing unusual in a relationship or marriage that is 'loveless' or devoid of sex and the topic becomes an anathema to them

ix. JW will not express openly their love or discuss it and will avoid public affection at any cost (even simple gestures such as holding hands)

A couple of other practical points:

(a) Contemporary JW do not appear to ‘have’ the concept of ‘love’ other than what is borrowed from Western romance novels/films etc; their interest in it is sparked mainly by curiosity (this may have been different in prior history as much early Japanese literature seems to attest)

(b) JW are of two types, those who want to stay (in Japan) and those who want to go; of those who want to go many will want to return

© Foreigners lack any access rights to children in Japan following divorce there (btw there are many documented ‘child abduction’ cases where JW return to Japan from abroad with their children and vanish, but I don’t know whether this is exclusive to Japan)

(d) JW think in ways which can appear incomprehensible (presumably from a deep cultural and society-gendered basis) to ‘Western males’; I’ve heard this expressed more simply many times as ‘JW are mad’ but many Western men I've met say the same of women in general

(e) It is usually highly recommended to engage a good lawyer to draft a pre-nuptial agreement that is signed by both parties (this may not be legally binding but will have persuasive value in court should the need arise)

(f) I’ve not seen any documentary evidence that divorce rates between mixed race marriages in Japan are any higher than the standard divorce rate

(g) Many Japanese women are extremely bitter about perceived/actual injustices and sexual discrimination in Japanese society but repress this through society constraints or sublimate it into their work patterns (overtime/stress/death); this (especially the work patterns, whatever their cause) can build tension in relationships.

Finally, in the words of the immortal Frank Zappa, ‘broken hearts are for arseholes’; if you’re looking for happiness in love or marriage, best of luck and pick up a copy of Proust’s ‘The Captive’ from 'In Search of Lost Time'.

I found this false, and debatable, but mostly stereotypical, but my girlfriend was studying in the states for 3 years before I met her, but we kiss and hug in public all the time here, anyways, if I go to Japan with her I wouldn't expect it, I mean it's just a cultural folkway in Japan, we have man folkways here as well. Also, my woman tends to be outspoken and wishing to discuss topics, and the first time we got together was initiated by her and not under the influence of alcohol. Who, knows though, I do see some quirks in her that I haven't seen in western women whom I've been with.

TGWeaver Wrote:one final point: nothing in his post was racist. careful how you use that term. he spoke about culture, but i didn't get the sense that race really entered the picture... unless of course you view japanese people as a race. which i don't.

Not RACIST?! FYI! In case you missed the 'JW' written at the beginning of every point he wrote. U blind or sumting??

Yonosa Wrote:my woman...

Not to pry in your relationship, but you seem to use that phrase quite often, almost as if you see her as an object and don't respect her.

*btw, it's getting quite ugly in here...

Background: 20 Year old englishman, spent a totalk of 5 weeks in japan so far in my life, and have had 2 japanese girlfriends whilst in the UK, and whilst in japan have lain with my fair share of lovely ladies! and I`m Currently with a polish woman who i`ve been with for a while (therefore, yes i have the slang "yellow fever" (love of asian women) but i also love all other casts and creeds of women!

Not that it`ll make much of an impact but from my experience of japanese women, i`ll address what i think of the very interesting post (thats doesn`t mean i support some of the extreme points made...) from Chorismos.

chorismos Wrote:i. Japanese Women (JW) have a lower sexual drive than women from other cultures (especially Caucasian) and will usually expect the man to initiate the act; over time Japanese partners will commonly cease having sex altogether

Yes and no, This is a sort of "how many words are in a book" question, 十人十色!
One of my ex-girlfriends refused to have sex with me on a frequent basis, but.. she still DID have some sex drive atleast.

However, another woman i`ve been with was the horniest woman i`ve ever met, sexdrive? sky was the limit. she was the first girl to openly talk dirty to me (in japanese! that was special!) without months of confidence and trust building.
And no she wasn`t a slag, about 5 ish men at 25years old.. can`t knock that!

chorismos Wrote:ii. JW expect men to know implicitly when their partners want sex and regard it as affrontery if their partner in any way initiates sex without this tacit 'understanding'; this is also used as a defence mechanism (excuse) over time to stop advances

Erm, yeh some do, but at the same time, some of the gals have openly just grabbed my crotch but ofcourse. only behind closed doors.

chorismos Wrote:iii. JW will avoid talking about emotions or sexual matters in a relationship at all costs; if the subject is raised they will have flight or fight responses or 'seize up' (physically and verbally)

erm, not really. they will not let you know that you matter to them, so no "i miss you" or any talk of the nice things like example "i love the way you used to tickly my belly gently when you say ohayou!"

But i have in the past got emotions like "あなたが　大好きです!" fired at me at random/in adoring e-mails and letters.

I think the basis is, japanese women will only tell you nice things and free up their emotions when they feel comfortable that it`s private/meaningful circumstances.

chorismos Wrote:iv. JW prefer to ignore issues in a relationship or pretend they are not there, rather than discuss them - a 'grin and bear it' response; if discussed they will either resort to one of two responses (a) it is due to ‘character’ etc therefore ‘cannot be changed’ (b) it is their fault completely and they don't know how to change

Erm, Yeh.. i`m afraid i have to agree to this one, i still ahven`t found an exception to the rule.. but i have plenty of time to try and find said exception to the rule!

chorismos Wrote:v. JW will tend to use sex (and very skilfully) as a ploy to lure men into marriage after which there is no perceived strategic advantage; sex at that point becomes at best procreation only (ie not enjoyment)

No, japanese women will not use sex skillfully to lure men into marriage.

they will use it to ploy men into babies.. which from what i gather.. you have about 2 weeks of "fun sex" in an entire marriage.. called honeymoon.

after that, they`re prime objective in life is to make babies.

once your married.. you have about 1 month until your wife wants to breed.

I had an ex girlfriend cry at me once, because i said that i don`t want a child until i was atleast what... 28?!.. i was 17 at the time, she was 19 and she wanted to get married and have kids the following year (needless to say, we broke up)... my child would now be one and a half if i`d stuck with that!

chorismos Wrote:ix. JW will not express openly their love or discuss it and will avoid public affection at any cost (even simple gestures such as holding hands)

Erm, Public effection i agree with, never ever try and kiss a woman in public in japan, your fixin` for a slap.. or worse..

but, as i said above, they will tell you they adore you when they`re comfortable!


Hopes this helps anyone, i just enjoyed writing it really! And no, i don`t support all of the points etc. i`m not racist.. and anything else you want to throw at me for qutoing on this post.

Loren

IceCream Wrote:As my grandparents once wisely said to me, "you can't live only for yourself".

I like this quote Be careful not to get into the trap of expanding the view of self to include just your family unit and only living for that. Caring for the needs of one's family is an improvement over taking care of the individual self, but far from what our potential is.

LorenPaul Wrote:Background: 20 Year old englishman, spent a totalk of 5 weeks in japan so far in my life, and have had 2 japanese girlfriends whilst in the UK, and whilst in japan have lain with my fair share of lovely ladies!

Talk about attention wh* hey-people-look-at-me-and-how-many-chicks-I've-been-with! Whatever, nobody's interested in that unneeded excessive info thank you very much.

LorenPaul Wrote:Not that it`ll make much of an impact but from my experience of japanese women,

One of my ex-girlfriends refused to have sex with me on a frequent basis

However, another woman i`ve been with was the horniest woman i`ve ever met, sexdrive? sky was the limit.

some of the gals have openly just grabbed my crotch but ofcourse.

But i have in the past got emotions like "あなたが　大好きです!" fired at me at random/in adoring e-mails and letters.

Hopes this helps anyone, i just enjoyed writing it really!
Loren

And you can stop your screaming self-advertising right there and there, gawd, so fake(ok put some sugar coating on it here)

Musashi Wrote:

LorenPaul Wrote:Background: 20 Year old englishman, spent a totalk of 5 weeks in japan so far in my life, and have had 2 japanese girlfriends whilst in the UK, and whilst in japan have lain with my fair share of lovely ladies!

Talk about attention wh* hey-people-look-at-me-and-how-many-chicks-I've-been-with! Whatever, nobody's interested in that unneeded excessive info thank you very much.

Lol and talk about "Wh* hey-people-look-at-me-I`m-a-little-mad-at-the-world-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-and-anger-management-issues

Wow.. never thought i`d find such an ignorant and rude person on this forum.

I thought (obviously not what it seems) i was adding my point of view on this topic (which happens to be public and open to adding your points of view)

one little question musashi?

Whats your problem?

Loren

In the interest of not having this thread slapped with some kind of sanction, could we please just chill a little?

Everyone has their own perspectives and experiences, please endeavor to tolerate all manner of expressing these thoughts, even if they are incorrect based on one's own experience or knowledge.

But please draw the line at personal insults of any kind. We are all mature enough to appreciate this reasonable forum rule.

お願いします

ofcouse. i was just wondering what his problem with me was, i`ve never offended him or outwardly gone against him before.

if my post came out at arrogant, or trying to extend my "e-penis" to make me look like a big man on this forum, then i appologise. i wasn`t intending to at all.

Infact if i insult musashi at all by asking him what his problem was.. then i apologise, i`m sorry

at the end of the day i`m here to learn kanji. I just wanted to attempt to join in with the interesting debate :S

Loren

LorenPaul Wrote:

Musashi Wrote:

LorenPaul Wrote:Background: 20 Year old englishman, spent a totalk of 5 weeks in japan so far in my life, and have had 2 japanese girlfriends whilst in the UK, and whilst in japan have lain with my fair share of lovely ladies!

Talk about attention wh* hey-people-look-at-me-and-how-many-chicks-I've-been-with! Whatever, nobody's interested in that unneeded excessive info thank you very much.

Lol and talk about "Wh* hey-people-look-at-me-I`m-a-little-mad-at-the-world-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-and-anger-management-issues

Wow.. never thought i`d find such an ignorant and rude person on this forum.

I thought (obviously not what it seems) i was adding my point of view on this topic (which happens to be public and open to adding your points of view)

one little question musashi?

Whats your problem?

Loren

Yea hi, welcome to the forum btw!
I've edited my post as you can see,
quite the self promoter aren't we?
ok maybe the 'wh*' part was a bit too much, yea ur right, in the end we're all here to study kanji,we sometimes get carried away on different subjects, don't take everything personal on this forum btw

Musashi Wrote:

LorenPaul Wrote:Background: 20 Year old englishman, spent a totalk of 5 weeks in japan so far in my life, and have had 2 japanese girlfriends whilst in the UK, and whilst in japan have lain with my fair share of lovely ladies!

Talk about attention wh* hey-people-look-at-me-and-how-many-chicks-I've-been-with! Whatever, nobody's interested in that unneeded excessive info thank you very much.

LorenPaul Wrote:Not that it`ll make much of an impact but from my experience of japanese women,

One of my ex-girlfriends refused to have sex with me on a frequent basis

However, another woman i`ve been with was the horniest woman i`ve ever met, sexdrive? sky was the limit.

some of the gals have openly just grabbed my crotch but ofcourse.

But i have in the past got emotions like "あなたが　大好きです!" fired at me at random/in adoring e-mails and letters.

Hopes this helps anyone, i just enjoyed writing it really!
Loren

And you can stop your screaming self-advertising right there and there, gawd, so fake.

ok ok... happy now? anyting else you want to throw at me? any more insulting remarks or ridicule you want to add to your post.

or do you just want to calm down. leave the forum for a bit. chill have a beer or.. even.. study some kanji..

because I`ve now discovered the true people in this.. what i thought was an "open" forum.

I`ll stick to just using the SRS function.

Musashi Wrote:

LorenPaul Wrote:

Musashi Wrote:Talk about attention wh* hey-people-look-at-me-and-how-many-chicks-I've-been-with! Whatever, nobody's interested in that unneeded excessive info thank you very much.

Lol and talk about "Wh* hey-people-look-at-me-I`m-a-little-mad-at-the-world-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-and-anger-management-issues

Wow.. never thought i`d find such an ignorant and rude person on this forum.

I thought (obviously not what it seems) i was adding my point of view on this topic (which happens to be public and open to adding your points of view)

one little question musashi?

Whats your problem?

Loren

Yea hi, welcome to the forum btw!
I've edited my post as you can see,
quite the self promoter aren't we?
ok maybe the 'wh*' part was a bit too much, yea ur right, in the end we're all here to study kanji,we sometimes get carried away on different subjects, don't take everything personal on this forum btw

ok ok

I`ll end the quote after quote after quote here now.

I won`t take it personally.

but when you call me an attention whore... and are obviously implying to MY posts, no one elses.. i WILL take it personalyl because thats what it is.

See you around. I`ll stick to the SRS thanks.

No one is attacking anyone anymore.

We are returning to a discussion of "Love in Japan..."

Plus helping TheTrueBlue with his planned trip to Japan to find love (pg. 5) ; )

LorenPaul Wrote:

Musashi Wrote:

LorenPaul Wrote:Lol and talk about "Wh* hey-people-look-at-me-I`m-a-little-mad-at-the-world-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-and-anger-management-issues

Wow.. never thought i`d find such an ignorant and rude person on this forum.

I thought (obviously not what it seems) i was adding my point of view on this topic (which happens to be public and open to adding your points of view)

one little question musashi?

Whats your problem?

Loren

Yea hi, welcome to the forum btw!
I've edited my post as you can see,
quite the self promoter aren't we?
ok maybe the 'wh*' part was a bit too much, yea ur right, in the end we're all here to study kanji,we sometimes get carried away on different subjects, don't take everything personal on this forum btw

ok ok

I`ll end the quote after quote after quote here now.

I won`t take it personally.

but when you call me an attention whore... and are obviously implying to MY posts, no one elses.. i WILL take it personalyl because thats what it is.

See you around. I`ll stick to the SRS thanks.

Gosh, so many quotes in quotes, ok ok, I already said attention wh* was a bit too much, I take it back. Let's just focus on kanji learning. Sorry for the negative experience for the new member.
Welcome welcome!
*hands over matcha-ice-cream

I LOVE JAPAN! Oh, was that off topic?

お米が大好き。

実は日本には時々とか何も書きことをだしてできませんでしたがこれを言って