QuackingShoe Wrote:One should be very careful about taking advice about romance from popular culture - especially considering the love lives (and otherwise personal lives) of the people who create it. Popular culture prints out signs that say "Love is wanting you to want me." Popular culture tells you that the solution to all relationship woes is to make a broad romantic gesture that somehow covers up your deep, underlying issues - as long as you're meant to be.
Popular culture's views on romance are, well, romantic. But they're anything but realistic. A lot of people enter into relationships with ideals built around that. A lot of people leave with broken hearts.

Yeah I know, I mostly brought that up because all the breakfast diners around here play a lite music station every morning and Fleetwood Mac is on pretty often. Along with Billy Joel. But absolutely, they are unrealistic, they are works of art, not manuals to live by.

QuackingShoe Wrote:In some kind of symmetry, I find this to be one of the most disconcerting thing you've written so far :/
Haven't you already got all of those things? How can you share the founding of them if you already have them? Do you mean you want to give what you have to her, who has nothing?

Hmm, in one sense I would, because I do plan to permanently move to Japan, not stay in the U.S. I don't have family there anymore, but I do have friends. And if I feel homesick for relatives I can always take a quick trip to the mainland.

QuackingShoe Wrote:Sharing your life doesn't mean living the same life. It almost seems that you want her to share your life,

I want her to be in my life.

QuackingShoe Wrote:or that you want to have a hand in every aspect of her life

I would like to hope that people in love with one another can open up and depend on one another for anything. But I don't want a brainless trophy wife to be master puppeteer over, those kinds of persons can be found most anywhere.

QuackingShoe Wrote:, and not that you want to share your lives. And that's the thing: people have lives, friends, goals and ambitions that have nothing to do with you. They can't latch onto you and then just follow you 'til your climax - not if they're healthy.

Nothing to do with you until you become their significant other perhaps. But if nothing else one can support or talk to them about their goals and amibitions, help make party arrangements or time-share rentals if she wants to go camping with her friends, etc.

QuackingShoe Wrote:And this isn't the same as 'a shared vision for the future,' as it was very well put. Many of your goals need to be similar.

Yes, having similar goals is very important.

QuackingShoe Wrote:It can't be only one of you who wants children.

Ahh, that would be incredibly bad. I would definitely like to have kids someday.

QuackingShoe Wrote:It can't be only one of you who wants to travel. It can't be only one of you that wants to be involved in a small business.

Well, certainly before anything serious emotional wise, we'd talk about what we want to do in life. And any discrepancies can be discussed. I don't value travelling enough to discount her because she can't stand it, and I'm planning to eventually stop grinding at the small business soon, and let the cashflow come in under different management.

QuackingShoe Wrote:It might be harder to be a starving artist if your potential partner would like to have the finer things in life.
Those things are important. This isn't about that.
This is about being your own people. Your lives may coincide, but they are not one] and they can't be.

Of course not, two people can live their lives together, but there may some things between even the most enduring and loving couple that they won't share with one another. They aren't "one", but they are together.

QuackingShoe Wrote:You clearly already have your own life, that you want to assimilate her in to. Why can't she?

I want to bring her into my life and I also want to know about hers. Her friends, experiences, goals, and dreams. The things I listed as criteria didn't include career goals or life values because those things can be extremely diverse and situational. She can have her own life. I believe it'd be much less exciting and rewarding if she didn't.

QuackingShoe Wrote:All of that in mind, I wasn't even meaning to speak of before you meet, before. I was actually largely focused on how you would both grow in separate directions during the relationship - the way individuals do.

A possibility in relationships is increasing distance. It is indeed something many couples will have to work at.

You know I do wish you the best TheTrueBlue, it's just I was once very naive also and got hurt pretty bad, that's probably why I come off as so harsh. What ever you do don't set your expectations too high, part of a successful relationship is the willingness to accept someone despite their faults and despite their past. I think it would be sad if you did find the perfect woman but passed her by because she wasn't a virgin, or didn't meet one of your other requirements.

You just said, in the part I quoted, that you weren't at all interested in someone with friends, a life, a career, or things established. Now you're saying otherwise? Did I read something incorrectly?

Alright, I'm out. My hands are washed. I'm going back to nothing but snarky remarks about IceCream's avatar and snapping g-strings.

@kanjiwarrior
Yes that would be most unfortunate. But as was written about eariler, I also believe that most anyone can love anyone in the right cirucumstances. So I have firm doubts that there's this "right girl" out there with a red string attached to me or something. Lack of virginity isn't a fault, just a distinction, like smoking. I really can't see myself ever dating a smoker seriously, and I don't think it may a good sign. But who knows what tomorrow brings.

QuackingShoe Wrote:You just said, in the part I quoted, that you weren't at all interested in someone with friends, a life, a career, or things established. Now you're saying otherwise? Did I read something incorrectly?

There's a difference between having a career and finding your place in life and already being there.

TheTrueBlue, your response to QuakingShoe is a good example of what I meant. You respond one by one to every point he makes, but you do one of two things for ever point: Either you act like you already understand the information he's telling you, or you point out that what he thinks you meant is a little off--and what you really meant is different and avoids the criticism.

And you've just been doing this with each post coming your way. This is what, frankly, makes it seem like you think you have it all have it figured out, when in fact it looks to the rest of us like you don't have it figured out at all. Just because you respond to a point doesn't really mean you're taking it in. It's enough for the people talking to you to get fed up and give up, since you'll just keep doing these senseless responses for anything posted.

TheTrueBlue Wrote:@kanjiwarrior
Yes that would be most unfortunate. But as was written about eariler, I also believe that most anyone can love anyone in the right cirucumstances. So I have firm doubts that there's this "right girl" out there with a red string attached to me or something.

QuackingShoe Wrote:You just said, in the part I quoted, that you weren't at all interested in someone with friends, a life, a career, or things established. Now you're saying otherwise? Did I read something incorrectly?

There's a difference between having a career and finding your place in life and already being there.

All that I meant by "perfect" was a really good woman that you could have a great relationship with.

forgot I was on the internet where all statements are taken literal

Tzadeck Wrote:TheTrueBlue, your response to QuakingShoe is a good example of what I meant. You respond one by one to every point he makes, but you do one of two things for ever point: Either you act like you already understand the information he's telling you, or you point out that what he thinks you meant is a little off--and what you really meant is different and avoids the criticism.

I do understand what he's said insofar that I can read the English he's written. And most often what people think I meant is indeed a little off. Especially if they assign a paradigm that exists in their mind to who I really am. Sometimes what I meant was not what I wrote, I'm no best-selling author.

But if someone says: "Looking for a virgin is a bad idea. Here why."
I acknowledge the support they give for their idea, and respond with my own beliefs. If only because it would very difficult for anyone to drastically change my goals or plans. But I do take warnings and advice seriously and incorporate them as they come in.

Tzadeck Wrote:But
And you've just been doing this with each post coming your way. This is what, frankly, makes it seem like you think you have it all have it figured out, when in fact it looks to the rest of us like you don't have it figured out at all.

The rest of us? I have lots of folks who've agreed with me or agreed to disagree with me on certain points and wished me luck. There isn't any angry mob here trying to slam a message into my head. There's kind people willing to share their experiences and advice though.

I don't have it all figured out, but I've thought through my plans and goals carefully and have strong reasons for them being as they are. If someone believes what I wrote isn't correct, then I cite evidence for why I do believe it is correct, to support my own case, while acknowleding and thanking them for the points they've made. If they can further refute my own evidence, then great, bring it on and let the discussion continue.

Tzadeck Wrote:Just because you respond to a point doesn't really mean you're taking it in. It's enough for the people talking to you to get fed up and give up, since you'll just keep doing these senseless responses for anything posted.

They aren't senseless responses. You should be more respectful when you write to people. If anyone wants to get fed up and leave, go ahead. I've taken their warnings and advice to heart and no one is forcing anyone to stay here until they cause decisive changes in who I am or what I believe.

No matter how much "evidence" a Christian presents to advocate Christianity, he won't convince me what he believes isn't just another set of superstitions. Some things are not fixed facts that are determinable, but rather only opinions that can only be swayed or tuned.

kanjiwarrior Wrote:

TheTrueBlue Wrote:@kanjiwarrior
Yes that would be most unfortunate. But as was written about eariler, I also believe that most anyone can love anyone in the right cirucumstances. So I have firm doubts that there's this "right girl" out there with a red string attached to me or something.

QuackingShoe Wrote:You just said, in the part I quoted, that you weren't at all interested in someone with friends, a life, a career, or things established. Now you're saying otherwise? Did I read something incorrectly?

There's a difference between having a career and finding your place in life and already being there.

All that I meant by "perfect" was a really good woman that you could have a great relationship with.

forgot I was on the internet where all statements are taken literal

Yeah, that would be pretty bad. But there's great women who are virgins and great women who aren't. That there's less of one kind of person doesn't make them impossible to find. Inadvisable, sure, a drain on time and resources, ok, maybe not worth it because of one's own valuation of what's important, roger that. But I'll take those risks.

This isn't a forever kind of deal, if I can't find love in Japan, I could go to the mainland, or other places. But I've already listed reasons for why I think Japan would be best. Thanks for your admonishment though. But I don't think I'm looking for life on Mars, it's not so impossible as to truly be an unworthy endeavor.

TheTrueBlue Wrote:If anyone wants to get fed up and leave, go ahead.

Okay.

Tzadeck Wrote:

TheTrueBlue Wrote:If anyone wants to get fed up and leave, go ahead.

Okay.

Thanks for leaving.

Is there any rationale to why you want a virgin, though...? Is it because you want your first time to be someone whose first time it is also, so that it's something only you two share together? Why don't you mind if she shared her body with other men in other ways? It wouldn't bother you that her first orgasms, her first sexual pleasures, were with other men, and she'll always remember those as her first experiences of sexuality?

Aijin Wrote:Is there any rationale to why you want a virgin, though...? Is it because you want your first time to be someone whose first time it is also, so that it's something only you two share together? Why don't you mind if she shared her body with other men in other ways? It wouldn't bother you that her first orgasms, her first sexual pleasures, were with other men, and she'll always remember those as her first experiences of sexuality?

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-Oscar Wilde

Welcome back to the table Aijin. I couldn't help but notice the interesting English grammar discussion going on in the Japanese accent thread.

Aijin Wrote:Is there any rationale to why you want a virgin, though...? Is it because you want your first time to be someone whose first time it is also, so that it's something only you two share together?

Precisely. As you and yours were with one another in the past. I'm trying to trace my own path to a place similar to that experience you related. Hopefully without too many of the kind of unpleasant and unforeseen events that were also related.

Aijin Wrote:Why don't you mind if she shared her body with other men in other ways? It wouldn't bother you that her first orgasms, her first sexual pleasures, were with other men, and she'll always remember those as her first experiences of sexuality?

It would bother me, but for the most part they aren't of enough concern to be a serious hindrance. But (taking this to the extreme case) if she's someone (as I've heard from friends who went to Catholic High School) who had crazy anal sex for years and still call themselves virgins, I may not consider them for a LTR. Not because of whether they are virgins physiologically or biologically, but because they've already had what I consider quite a share of sexual experience already.

I and her may not have the exact same track record, but I want to be her first serious boyfriend and I want her to be my first serious girlfriend, and hopefully more. Take that to mean what it means to you.

@magamo - so true. so true. Some women would like to be a man's first as well though. And some men also want to find the woman they can spend the rest of their life with. I suppose I'm both at the moment.

Well, all of that certainly makes sense, and I understand where you're coming from. Of course it's very possible not to be bothered by your partner's past sexual experiences and romances, etc, but it is a treasurable feeling when you've only been close to each other.

Why draw the line at sex though? If you're going to go for your fantasy girl and romance, wouldn't you prefer if your first kiss was together, your first handhold, your first girlfriend, first love, first everything? Surely you think that that's even more significant of a bond based on what you're looking for, right?

Of course, finding a girl who is all of that would be ridiculously difficult, so I can understand why you'd draw the line at penetration.

All I'm saying is, don't be only set on the virgin thing. Like I said, I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's a great emotional feeling knowing you're the only person that your significant other has loved or been intimate with. You may not get that exact feeling with other people, but that doesn't mean they'll make you less happy, that your romance with them will be less significant. People rarely marry their first, after all, and I wouldn't say that they're worse off for it by any means. In most cases the experiences are what lead to better experiences, and ultimately to the person they really want to spend their life with.

Just keep an open mind, that's all.

Aijin Wrote:Well, all of that certainly makes sense, and I understand where you're coming from. Of course it's very possible not to be bothered by your partner's past sexual experiences and romances, etc, but it is a treasurable feeling when you've only been close to each other.

Vivia l'バカップル！

Aijin Wrote:Why draw the line at sex though? If you're going to go for your fantasy girl and romance, wouldn't you prefer if your first kiss was together, your first handhold, your first girlfriend, first love, first everything? Surely you think that that's even more significant of a bond based on what you're looking for, right?

That would be awesome. I pray for it, truly. Even at 10,000,000 to one odds, I pray for it, although it won't kill me if it doesn't happen. Just like I pray to win the lottery, but it doesn't kill me if I don't get a ton of money and can change my lifestyle completely.

After all, every school or workplace has their share of anti-social outcasts, both male and female. And some of those people lessen in their anipathy or awkwardness as they grow and adjust into adults. Hopefully I can meet someone who's decided to give social interactions a second chance, that maybe people aren't as awful as those bullies who 苛め’ｄ her back in high school.

And she's now prepared to have the same experiences that maybe she missed out on compared to her peers with someone. It'll be for the first time though, when it happens.

Aijin Wrote:Of course, finding a girl who is all of that would be ridiculously difficult, so I can understand why you'd draw the line at penetration.

Thank you for understanding.

Aijin Wrote:All I'm saying is, don't be only set on the virgin thing. Like I said, I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's a great emotional feeling knowing you're the only person that your significant other has loved or been intimate with. You may not get that exact feeling with other people,

Yes. That exact feeling. I want that, and I'll work towards it and struggle for it. It's not impossible and I intend to be one of the lucky ones who, like yourself, were with someone with whom you felt such treasured feelings.

Are you still with this person you wrote about eariler? It would be wonderful and commendable if so, but understandable and not uncommon if it weren't.

Aijin Wrote:but that doesn't mean they'll make you less happy, that your romance with them will be less significant.

But it might leave out an element that I want in my relationship with the woman I want to be with.

Aijin Wrote:People rarely marry their first, after all, and I wouldn't say that they're worse off for it by any means. In most cases the experiences are what lead to better experiences, and ultimately to the person they really want to spend their life with.

There are many who don't believe the casual sexuality that's infected young people today is a good thing. cf. "The Sun Also Rises" by Hemingway

My mom married my dad and they were each other's firsts (in so far as is know), coming from conservative families. Certainly my mother, who ascribes to filial piety, humility, and traditional gender roles for girls seems an unlikely case for pre-marital affairs.

My heart goes to those couples and their efforts to build and sustain loving relationships.

Aijin Wrote:Just keep an open mind, that's all.

Yes ma'am. I consider that a core value of who I am and endeavor to be.

Don't you think it is a bit hypocritical that you are searching for an innocent girl with no sexual experience, preferably no relationship experience and yet you possess none of these attributes yourself?

You've specifically stated you have gone out on dates and sought out sexual experiences to 'practice' and gain experience. If you perfect girl was out there right now, searching for an innocent man to share her first love with, using the exact same guidelines you are using, you would already be disqualified from consideration.

TheTrueBlue Wrote:Are you still with this person you wrote about eariler? It would be wonderful and commendable if so, but understandable and not uncommon if it weren't.

Nope, I was disillusioned about love and relationships in many ways from that experience. Someone else posted about what happens when someone is very needy etc in this situations, and how they move right on to someone else to balm their own insecurities and self-loathings, etc. It's very true. My first love dated another girl within 24 hours of our break up...which is very crushing, let me assure you, especially when you had wanted to work through things *stops writing before I go into a bitter and depressed rant *

Well, if you want everything to be with just that one person, why did you engage in kissing, foreplay, etc, with girls you didn't want to be in a serious relationship with? Why not save that 'purity' for the girl you planned on being with forever?

The bottom line I guess is that I wish you the best on your quest. You already know all the risks, already, and of course you'll be devastated if things turn out wrong, but it is possible to fulfill your dream. I have met one couple in my life who were each other's first relationship, first handhold, everything. They were one of those romances you think only exist in cheesy chick flicks, fell in love at the age of 12 or so, got engaged a week after meeting they were so in love, and stayed married and insanely in love until the age of 80.

The flipside to this story is that the husband died before the wife, and she's been living out her remaining years in a nursing home, so depressed and heartbroken that all she can do is mutter his name and say that she is just waiting to die and be with him again. Her pillow has his name on it, so she can hug it at night and pretend it's him...you can actually see all the tear stains on it.

So yes, that blissful happiness is possible. But I for one dunno if I'd be willing to become that attached to the person to the point where once they died, I was basically a walking corpse without them.

*on that cheerful note I walk away *

blackmacros Wrote:Don't you think it is a bit hypocritical that you are searching for an innocent girl with no sexual experience, preferably no relationship experience and yet you possess none of these attributes yourself?

You've specifically stated you have gone out on dates and sought out sexual experiences to 'practice' and gain experience. If there was an innocent girl out there right now, searching for an innocent man to share her first love with, using the exact same guidelines you are using, you would already be disqualified from consideration.

The same argument again?

I don't have relationship experience because I've never had a serious long term relationship.

I don't have sexual experience and you don't acknowledge my refutation of what you already posted. And your neglience doesn't obligate me to find it for you. But in the interest of defending myself from pre-conceived notions of who I am, I haven't slept with any women, not sex or fallen asleep next to. I haven't climax'd with any woman. I haven't gotten completely naked with any woman. Etc. Etc.

blackmacros Wrote:You've specifically stated you have gone out on dates and sought out sexual experiences to 'practice' and gain experience.

No I have not sought out sexual experiences for practice. Yes if I was on a date with a girl that I really truly didn't think it would turn into something serious, I still let it escalate to intimacy. There's no way to know if she's just so awesome that I'll give in and fall for her or if she'll reveal some part of herself that I can't resist, but either way, I can practice, log some hours flying as a metaphor if preferred. And unlike many guys, I don't sleep with her even if I'm not serious.

If you want to disagree to the end of time that I'm not a virgin, go ahead. I'm not interested if all you will contribute is that you believe that my goals are unfair or inconsistent. I've refuted your arguments and your voice of dissent is tempered by the voices of support and encouragement that I've gotten from so many.

It doesn't matter whether you consider yourself a virgin a not - thats not the argument I'm making.

Quote:I don't have sexual experience

Quote:but either way, I can practice, log some hours flying as a metaphor if preferred.

Sexual experience is not the same as penetrative experience. You have had sexual experience. You claimed to have brought a woman to orgasm somewhere in this thread. That is a sexual experience. I hope we can both agree that this is the case...

When I say relationship experience I don't mean experience from a long term relationship. That was bad wording on my behalf. I meant that you have gone on 'dates' with girls - many girls if we are to believe you. You just don't sleep with them or kiss them on the lips.

I stand by the fact that if your perfect girl were out there right now, using your guidelines to search for her man, she would breeze right past you.

Aijin Wrote:

TheTrueBlue Wrote:Are you still with this person you wrote about eariler? It would be wonderful and commendable if so, but understandable and not uncommon if it weren't.

Nope, I was disillusioned about love and relationships in many ways from that experience. Someone else posted about what happens when someone is very needy etc in this situations, and how they move right on to someone else to balm their own insecurities and self-loathings, etc. It's very true. My first love dated another girl within 24 hours of our break up...which is very crushing, let me assure you, especially when you had wanted to work through things *stops writing before I go into a bitter and depressed rant *

Oh my God in heaven, I am so so sorry. There's special pain in store for those who commit such horrors, enough pain to make them realize and regret what they've done and then some. When he doesn't have anyone new to latch onto, he'll be in his own pit of needfulness, as he almost certainly deserves to be. Well it was his loss, and you seem a resilient, intelligent, and thoughtful girl, so if nothing else you've done more than wonderfully to get to this point in time.

Aijin Wrote:Well, if you want everything to be with just that one person, why did you engage in kissing, foreplay, etc, with girls you didn't want to be in a serious relationship with? Why not save that 'purity' for the girl you planned on being with forever?

There are a few reasons for this.
One is, at what point do you fall for somebody? I don't know, and certainly it depends greatly on the people involved. At what point should I stop a date because I have hopes about who the girl I want to be with will be like, that don't perfectly match to who I'm with at the moment?

Maybe one guy's dream is to marry a swimsuit model with awesome legs, neverminding how many girls he sleeps with beforehand, should he stop a date because she doesn't have awesome legs? He doesn't know who he'll end up with, and neither do I.

Two, I am a young guy, and if a girl I've gone out with wants to become intimate, it would be most unusual (or commendable, if I were a priest, then again if I were, I shouldn't have been on that date in the first place) that I should immediately reject such advances.

Three, I have feelings of tenderness and affection for these girls, it's hard not to get swept up. It's just that my own goals and what I need to do to accomplish them have a stronger influence on me.

For what it's worth, there are parts of me that do regret it, and would take back all those experiences if possible. But we don't get the perfect life, nor do we attain the dreams we dream.

Aijin Wrote:The bottom line I guess is that I wish you the best on your quest. You already know all the risks, already, and of course you'll be devastated if things turn out wrong, but it is possible to fulfill your dream. I have met one couple in my life who were each other's first relationship, first handhold, everything. They were one of those romances you think only exist in cheesy chick flicks, fell in love at the age of 12 or so, got engaged a week after meeting they were so in love, and stayed married and insanely in love until the age of 80.

You see! To the nay-sayers out there! READ THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH WELL. That sounds like the one of the absolute heights of happiness and fulfillment, 有頂天な生活！！！
どうやら，あれを成ってように。。。神々様。。。

Aijin Wrote:The flipside to this story is that the husband died before the wife, and she's been living out her remaining years in a nursing home, so depressed and heartbroken that all she can do is mutter his name and say that she is just waiting to die and be with him again. Her pillow has his name on it, so she can hug it at night and pretend it's him...you can actually see all the tear stains on it.

Yes, I've also read of couples with burning loves who were separated by the boundaries of life. Some of the saddest stories imaginable. My heart truly goes out to her, but I had rather love the greatest love than not. And I think she would agree, despite her sadness.

Aijin Wrote:So yes, that blissful happiness is possible. But I for one dunno if I'd be willing to become that attached to the person to the point where once they died, I was basically a walking corpse without them.

I am willing.
Thank you for your words.

=============================================================

blackmacros Wrote:It doesn't matter whether you consider yourself a virgin a not - thats not the argument I'm making.

Ok.

blackmacros Wrote:

Quote:I don't have sexual experience but either way, I can practice, log some hours flying as a metaphor if preferred.

Sexual experience is not the same as penetrative experience. You have had sexual experience. You claimed to have brought a woman to orgasm somewhere in this thread. That is a sexual experience. I hope we can both agree that this is the case...

Yes, I do agree that this is the case.

blackmacros Wrote:When I say relationship experience I don't mean experience from a long term relationship. That was bad wording on my behalf. I meant that you have gone on 'dates' with girls - many girls if we are to believe you. You just don't sleep with them or kiss them on the lips.

Correct.

blackmacros Wrote:I stand by the fact that if your perfect girl were out there right now, using your guidelines to search for her man, she would breeze right past you.

My guidelines are that I'm looking for a kind, sweet, caring, intelligent girl who's not crossed a particular line who lives in Japan and speaks Japanese. If this hypothetical girl were as equally tolerate of my past experiences as I will be of any of her sexual experiences, then she would stop right in front of me. Just as soon as I further strengthen my language skills, make enough money, and get myself over there.

Mary is a kind, sweet, caring, intelligent girl living in a remote Japanese village. She's given oral and handjobs to most every boy in the village. She's dry humped the rest. Mary is very experienced sexually; she knows how to make a guy cum. But she's never had penetrative sex- she's been saving that for the right guy, and all the experience was so she could please him even better on the big night.

Is this the type of girl you're interested in? Probably not is my guess. But from the descriptions you've given in this thread, she's the female version of you.

Purity and experience are mutually exclusive. If you wouldn't go for Mary, then you're perfect girl wouldn't go for you.

If you would go for Mary... well, all the best I wish you good luck (seriously). If the distinction of virginity means that much to you, then there is nothing wrong with pursuing that.

blackmacros Wrote:Mary is a kind, sweet, caring, intelligent girl living in a remote Japanese village. She's given oral and handjobs to most every boy in the village. She's dry humped the rest. Mary is very experienced sexually; she knows how to make a guy cum. But she's never had penetrative sex- she's been saving that for the right guy, and all the experience was so she could please him even better on the big night.

Is this the type of girl you're interested in? Probably not is my guess. But from the descriptions you've given in this thread, she's the female version of you.

Purity and experience are mutually exclusive. If you wouldn't go for Mary, then you're perfect girl wouldn't go for you.

If you would go for Mary... well, all the best I wish you good luck (seriously). If the distinction of virginity means that much to you, then there is nothing wrong with pursuing that.

I haven't slept with almost every girl in my area. I haven't dry-humped the rest.

That isn't the girl I'm looking for, and she's not the female version of me.

Hey, don't stop there! I want more. Who is Mary? Why is she living in a Japanese village? She's obviously not from Japan originally. What's her story?

I can't be bothered searching through this thread but you've said a couple of times " I have more experience than the Average Joe". I'm sorry but if that doesn't imply that you had a large number of sexual encounters to 'practice' for your dream girl then I don't know what does. Mary was a logical extension of that to demonstrate my point. Nothing in my description violates your guidelines of kind, sweet, caring, intelligent girl. So if you don't want her, there must be something else you want? Purity perhaps?

Purity and experience are mutually exclusive.

You are experienced.

You are therefore not pure.

You would therefore be disqualified by your own guidelines, and your perfect girl would continue her search.

QuackingShoe Wrote:Hey, don't stop there! I want more. Who is Mary? Why is she living in a Japanese village? She's obviously not from Japan originally. What's her story?

Ah well I'm afraid I can't reveal much more of Mary's identity. If I reveal her location or identity she may be swamped with suitors clamoring for her pure and untainted love.

QuackingShoe Wrote:Hey, don't stop there! I want more. Who is Mary? Why is she living in a Japanese village? She's obviously not from Japan originally. What's her story?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

...Damn, I got lazy, so I'll just end the backstory with the ominous periods.

TrueBlue: That makes sense, but I am just wondering, how will you know that the girl you first have full-on sex with will be the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with? Relationships change tremendously based on circumstances. Casually dating someone is nothing like living with them, which is nothing like being married and having kids with them. People may exist in a relationship happily in one situation, but when transported to the next, their relationship collapses into a cesspool of misery.

I am just saying, it's impossible to ever know. I was 100% convinced I would spend the rest of my life with my first love, yet in retrospect I realize it never would have worked out. Emotions are capricious, while love is capricious and cruel. You just can't ever tell, if you know what I mean.

Of course, if you're okay with that, then there's no problem. Like I said, your goal isn't impossible, I don't think anyone is saying that it is. Relationships like that do happen. I just think most of us want you to be able to find happiness in other relationships if your dream falls short. I mean, will you abandon your quest after a while?

If you search for 6 years for this dream girl, never find anyone close, then find a girl that takes your breath away, but the minor detail is she's had sex before, would you still go for her?

blackmacros Wrote:Ah well I'm afraid I can't reveal much more of Mary's identity. If I reveal her location or identity she may be swamped with suitors clamoring for her pure and untainted love.

Damnit. Now my imagination will simply run wild...

Aijin Wrote:A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

...Damn, I got lazy, so I'll just end the backstory with the ominous periods.

Stop it. You're already someone who's learned English to what appears to be perfect fluency. If you also go quoting Star Wars on a regular basis, I may have to develop an e-crush.

(Like the one I have on Tobberoth)