For the past year, I have enjoyed J-Doramas on the UTB network here in Los Angeles on Sunday nights. After a while, I noticed something. No one ever dispays any PDA of any kind. I have yet to see a screen kiss. Even amoung couples whos characters are married.
Now, I know you cannot believe everything you see on TV, but why dont they?

My background is Mexican and I grew up watching Spanish soap operas. There is alway kissing involved at some point. Especially if there is a love interest. Even Disney animated movies have the characters kiss at the end and those are "G" rated.

Is this non kissing on TV a cultural thing or is it regulated by their version of the FCC?
I know that the Japanese are certainly NOT prudes when it comes to all things sex. Just look at the internet. So why arent the J-doramas more reflective of that?

Wisher

It's not okey to kiss in public in Japan. During my whole year in Tokyo, I saw a couple kissing in public... once? twice? Certainly not more than that, it's very uncommon.

It's purely cultural. I don't know if it's considered rude, I guess it's considered embaressing.

Dude, the Mexican telenovelas are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to on-screen stuff. I think that's just the asian culture in general. I never once saw my (Chinese) parents kiss growing up.

I've seen a few kisses in j-dramas...
first episode of sora kara furu ichioku hoshi for example

I do believe that PDA's are less acceptable in Japan.

Kissing, holding hands or generally showing public affection is not the norm in Japan. In fact, you probably see that holding someone's hand is made a dramatic moment in the JDramas.

Granted, what you see in JDramas are not always the best or accurate example of what goes on in society. Still, there's correlation. So, good observation and noticing something without being told about it first.

OK, I could understand PDA in real life. I hear it is considered rude to blow your nose in public. But I am speaking in the context of the characters interacting, when they are "alone" with each other and there is a clear love interest. Dont the Japanese kiss each other good night? And if they do, my question is why they do not show it on TV.

On the otherhand, it is kind of refreshing to have a good story line with a de-emphasis on sex. Here, in the US, its overplayed.

Wisher

Wisher Wrote:But I am speaking in the context of the characters interacting, when they are "alone" with each other and there is a clear love interest.

This is just a guess, but in all probability, Japanese people look down on people who show affection in public. You know, just like most of us westerners would look down on someone eating snot in public. It's embaressing and should be done in private. Since they want the audience to like the main characters, they don't show them doing such "embaressing" acts.

It's clear that showing sex oriented stuff on TV isn't a problem in Japan, everyone who has seen a gameshow can vouche for that. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the image of the characters in the drama.

Why?

Because kissing can make you deaf!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7772902.stm

I wonder what kind of dramas you've been watching then.
I've started to watch jdramas in 2002. By now I've watched around 100ish series and hell yes they do kiss - maybe not as often as we would expect, but they definitely do.
One thing I realized, though, is that they really hold back. The kisses are never passionate or anything and sometimes even look quite weird to us Westeners. You can clearly see that the actors don't want to kiss each other in public / in front of a camera.

I heard that you shouldn't show your affection towards your partner in public, but I've never ever seen it in Japan. Today's teenagers don't seem to care at all. They hold hands, kiss each other like crazy and whatnot without hesitation.

rich_f Wrote:Why?

Because kissing can make you deaf!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7772902.stm

Musta been one hell of a kiss.

嫁 Since the Nihonjin man is hardly ever home, the woman feels more like she's married into the house than into a relationship
-story by vosmiura

I hate to quote Penthouse but the Japanese rank last in the world for all categories related to sex or affection.

chochajin Wrote:I wonder what kind of dramas you've been watching then.

I have seen:
3/4 of Hana Yori Dango (I just discovered them and missed the first few episodes)
Haken no Hinkaku
Joshi Deka
Edison no Haha (probably my favorite)
and I am into the 4th episode of Around 40.

In Around 40, there is a scene where the couple is getting back together after a 5 year absence from her estranged lover who just got back from being a photographer in Afghnaistan. They are on the beach, alone, and they are rekinding old romantic feelings for one another. The most they do is hug and the scene cuts away.

In any other movie, there would have been a passionate kiss. I just find it weird that they didnt. And at the last scene in the episode, he asks her to marry him. They went from hug to marriage proposal. I am just not used to that and I believe they would of at least kissed in real life.

Learning a language is also understanding the culture. Help me understand all of this.
Wisher

Eh, I'm happy for it. Watching people kiss always makes me feel awkward. Especially actors who are clearly enjoying it about as much as I am.
Although their attitude toward kissing resulting in all this emphasis on the first kiss, and the obsession with the '間接' kiss, is something I could live without...
The freak outs about sharing a straw in a culture that shares the same bath water has always sortof amused me. Like, you do realize what that water was touching before you got in, right? And what it's touching now? I think a kiss is the least of the 間接 you need to be worried about. Your dad was just in there! :o
(Though I'm pretty sure this particular depiction doesn't represent real life beyond 13 year olds. It's still funny.)

@Nestor

Yes, the burakumin are real. They are the people who have been historically assigned to the most "dirty" jobs of Japan (for example public executioners).

I think the biggest reason for lack of public affection is religion. Shinto believers often associate cleanliness and hygiene with spiritual purification; this seems to have translated to a heightened cultural awareness of bacteria in modern Japan.
Also, the Buddhist religion holds that relationships are borne out of attachment, and therefore they are actually not conducive to spiritual growth (for the more advanced adherents.) There is nothing really shameful about being in a relationship, but they don't feel like it is right to flaunt it publically. Contrast this with Western religions in which the first woman (Eve) was actually created from the rib of the first man. This gives Westerners a sense of entitlement, and they feel that they are just reuniting with their "missing half." Therefore, they are often quite proud.

Whether you are personally religious or not, these concepts are so ingrained into culture over thousands of years that they have a way of influencing our psyche.

Because characters innocently holding back and then climaxing at a kiss on a show is corny as hell and people dig that. I mean in real life, compared to those Jdramas, the characters would have had sex already, be drinking, maybe doing drugs, etc. Not take months of back and forth confessions and awkward lovey moments that end with a small kiss to show their true love.


They're shows people.

@Nestor

Ah. I would also be interested as to whether or not they have ever been represented in popular media. I am also very interested in the Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan (who until recently were believed by many to be Caucasian.)

Both of these groups have been heavily oppressed over the years, and the unofficial public policy seems to be, "let's forget about all that."

Erubey Wrote:Because characters innocently holding back and then climaxing at a kiss on a show is corny as hell and people dig that. I mean in real life, compared to those Jdramas, the characters would have had sex already, be drinking, maybe doing drugs, etc. Not take months of back and forth confessions and awkward lovey moments that end with a small kiss to show their true love.


They're shows people.

Well dang, that brings up other topics.

Culturally speaking, do the Japanese have the same stigma about having sex as we do in the USA. Is religion an issue for not having sex like it is here or they have other reasons, either way?

Wisher

Huh? I'm saying its a television show and the dramas people here talk about are mainly aimed at teen girls. Who like that stuff.

In other words, its not a good indicator of cultural norms. I've never met someone who told me what Mexico is like based off Telenovelas (spanish soap operas). Japan isn't any different.

Wisher, sounds like you need to buy a book on Japanese culture or something!

Just to add to the list of series with kissing, Kimi wa Petto. I think every episode had at least one light kiss

While the popular media is not usually an exact reflection of a society's social norms, I would argue that it IS a reflection of the society's hopes, dreams, fantasies, and sometimes idealized perception of reality.

And that information can be very telling.

nest0r Wrote:Wisher, sounds like you need to buy a book on Japanese culture or something!

Yes, your are right, I do. The "something" is hopefully this forum. Some of you are in Japan or have spent time there and can give me some insight.


[In other words, its not a good indicator of cultural norms. I've never met someone who told me what Mexico is like based off Telenovelas (spanish soap operas). Japan isn't any different.]

Yeah, but I had an African-Amercian roomate in college ask me why the telenovelas have so many hot chicks. He said he liked to watch the shows just to look at the hot chicks. He did not even speak spanish.

Wisher

kissing in public is definitely not the norm in japan... but not all japanese girls are ashamed to kiss in public... i kissed my japanese girlfriend all the time in public when i visited tokyo and she didn't care at all... we saw some japanese guys looking at us in disgust after we were kissing before though haha!!

LoL
I have never liked Spanish soap operas. They feel so over acted! No offense!

Them not kissing has never bothered me in J-dorama. An actually I think they do kiss in them! They might not be licking each other all the time but they do kiss!

Anyway. A cultural thing! The Japanese aren't exactly famous for seeking physical contact so I think a hug can be seen as a sign of much greater affection there than in the western countries.
It is also worth noting that they don't seem to "confess their love" so much in Japan as they do in the states for example. Someone told me or I read somewhere that they are afraid of somehow losing the feeling if they say it out loud.
Has anyone else heard about this?

I can understand it because saying "I love you" out loud isn't so common in my culture either. It even feels awkward to say it in my language and hearing it in some television programs just sounds plain weird. The words are meaningless if you don't show it through your actions and commitment and I believe this is pretty much how the Japanese see it too.

While I was in Japan, with my wife, it funny when a couple of times someone made some weird comments to us of how much much in love we must be, and how much we touch each other!
We didn't touch each other any more that we do here but I can't believe that it seemed to be weird to them that I occasionally touched my wife in public! >.<

Overacted!?

That's not overacting. That's fire, baby! Yeah!