I really couldn't think of a better title, sorry

I'm just curious as to know how common it is to shake your head when answering a question in Japan, I'm sure a japanese person would know I'm answering yes if I nodded my head, but do Japanese people do this among themselves?

Also if anyone knows since mandarin has no specific word for yes and no is it possible to nod your head in china and get yes across?

I have no idea why I've started wondering about this recently.

Head nod seem to be okay, but I've noticed that I've gotten into the habit of saying ん along with the head nod. That little grunt goes a long way.

erlog Wrote:That little grunt goes a long way.

It sure does. In fact, I can't shed the habit years after returning from Japan. Sometimes my friends here give me weird looks :-p

erlog Wrote:Head nod seem to be okay, but I've noticed that I've gotten into the habit of saying ん along with the head nod. That little grunt goes a long way.

LOL. I do both now, and I don't even live in Japan!

We were told in class, 30-40 nods a minute is the average of a Japanese. It's part of what they call 相槌 【あいづち】 and these are verbal/non-verbal cues to show that you are listening. I really don't know how serious they actually are about it, but they showed a telephone call where a Japanese girl was talking to a foreigner, the foreigner wasn't saying 'unn', 'hai' etc etc, and hte Japanese girl thought she wasnt listening, and asked for 相槌!!!

Likewise physical nods/unn and whatever in a real life conversation are needed. After all the drama i've seen this trait clung on to me, and i use it everywhere :| It annoys me because i cant help it now, listening to my professor or someone explaining to me something i reply as if they were a Japanese person.

Be very careful when using　はい, though. I've had Japanese people, like guys in suits, make fun of me for saying はい too much. Try to use mostly ん and nodding feverishly.

The thing I can't understand is why they made fun of me for it. When I see my Japanese friend talk to my teacher, they say はい after absolutely everything.

Probably because they're talking to your teacher.

~J

I think it's just a politeness level thing. So just like someone might get made fun of for using ーます forms when casual would be ok, I'm guessing they thought はい instead of ん was similarly funny

I hear はい a lot when teachers at school talk on the phone. Though one time a teacher was on the phone...I'm guessing with either a friend or maybe a student...and was very excitedly saying ん　and うん and nothing else for like 5 minutes. She sounded like she was...how can I politely say...like she was 至ing.

So anyways, I asked a friend about it, and was told she always says はい　on the phone in the office. But when I hear her talk to friends or family on the phone, it is always ん

I had my host mom in Japan TOTALLY chew me out for saying hai too much, and I got a big tongue lashing.
It was completely unconscious on my part, and I didn't even realize I was doing it.

My host mom always said I did it on the phone when she called me or whenever she gave me instructions to do something. Looking back, I think my brain was trying to "compartmentalize" in sections what she was telling me, so I could pick up on her instructions. (Ok, you're picking me up? Not dad? Hai. The parking lot? Hai At 7 o'clock? Hai) Phone conversations are hard without having visual cues, you know?

I didn't mean to, but she took offense at my constant hai-ing because " in Japan, children say　ん to adults!" Saying "hai" to her felt like I was trying to "hurry her up", and maybe she inadvertently took it as a sign I was impatient with her? (^_^) And all this time, I was just trying to practice being polite!!!


PS- I toned my "hai-ing" and relations much improved. I was still VERY curious about where I had gotten into the habit of unconscious "hai-ing" so I observed carefully how my host family interacted, and noticed her other daughter CONSTANTLY said "hai" to her mom, in a gruff tone of voice, too. Haha, talk about a double standard for the gaijin, huh?

Moral of the story: Be careful guys!!!

woodwojr Wrote:Probably because they're talking to your teacher.

~J

This isn't the case because I've been in similar politeness settings, and done the same thing, and gotten strange responses. I think there's something I'm missing. It is definitely not a politeness level thing.

The Japanese guidebooks say this all the time, but it's true.
Nodding and even saying うん or はい does not always mean that they agree with what you're saying or that they think what you're saying is correct. It's often just a sign that they're listening to you and have processed what you said (as preposterous as they may think it is).

Be sure to try and recognize the difference.

If you are getting funny looks, it might be because of timing. If you overuse either はい or うん or interrupt the person a lot, it might seem like you are trying to hurry them up. However, if you read their non-verbal/verbal cues and say はい or grunt approppriately when they want confirmation you are listening, maybe it will get a better response.

It's fascinating how much can be communicated through those two tiny sounds. Very interesting subject.

You might want to mix up/add はい with 分かりました,　そうですね, そうです, ええ、そうですか, なるほど. 100% はい 's are gonna grate on your ears! Plenty of variety to be had.

frychiko Wrote:You might want to mix up/add はい with 分かりました,　そうですね, そうです, ええ、そうですか, なるほど. 100% はい 's are gonna grate on your ears! Plenty of variety to be had.

Yeah, now that I think of it on the radio shows I listen to people seem to rotate a lot between these expressions. They rarely say one of those more than 2 times on a row.

Or you could just use 了解 all the time to make people really give you weird looks

~J

woodwojr Wrote:Or you could just use 了解 all the time to make people really give you weird looks

~J

了解！