When I was in Tokyo the past few weeks restaurant people asked me this over and over and I never really understood what they said, I just got better at knowing when they would say it or rather, if they blurted something incomprehensible, then this was probably the question they were asking. I'm pretty positive there's many ways to say it. If I heard a こちらへ in the sentence then I knew that meant here. But sometimes they definitively did not say it. I asked my Japanese teachers but they never thought about it and couldn't just come up with a list of ways to say this so I'm guessing native Japanese people are of no help and I'm hoping someone here who went through the learning process could shed some light.

I'm convinced that in Japanese style the management makes the employees to say the equivalent of: Would you care to do us the honor of eating your fine meal that we have prepared for you in our humble establishment?

Ya if its a business to a customer, expect there to be a certain amount of humble/keigo speech being used. If you think its bad just hearing it on the street, wait till you call up a place or go into more defined establishments like banks. If you haven't had any exposure to the various alternative verbs and constructs that get used in keigo, you'll be completely lost. Its probably one of more painful parts of learning Japanese because the use case for it is so limited if you aren't going to be in situations where you will be using it or encountering it. Most classes and textbooks breeze by it in a day/chapter and that's it.

Its pretty unfortunate too because it may be difficult to get companies/shops to switch to a more informal style. Having dealt with Japanese on the phone (ie: calling the power/water/NTC company, etc), there's always a reluctance on the other party side to bring the level down to conversation level. I figure this is probably because phone conversations are heard one sided and if their boss walks by and hears them talking to someone in an "impolite" format they probably get in trouble.

So thats what was going on. As to what they were saying, no clue.

It's best to think of asking a Japanese customer service rep to use plain language is about the same as asking a US service rep to use sh*t p*ss f*ck, and c*m when talking in English to customers. (I think all of those should be blanked out, but Pee-pee, fornicate, poop, and semen if you are curious. They weren't I self blanked them.)

こちらで召し上がり or some version of it is the main verb of the sentence for eating in, as opposed to take-out.

(I stilll cannot say the British "take-away" without immediately getting hungry for all the great ethnic takeaway places in London. Or just some chips with vinegar and salt.)

The form that they should always use is 店内で召し上がりますか。Anything with こちら in it is technically off-book but if no one important is in earshot and they think that keigo might confuse you then you might hear it instead. Also sometimes they will do the whole "finger pointing down a that counter" move while saying them.

In any case your response is one of two answers: 店内(で) or 持ち帰り. Of course you could just say ここ but it doesn't take a whole lot of effort to learn the proper term.

I think I am going to record them when I go back. I heard 店内 at McDonalds at the airport and こちらへ in Tokyo a lot... and a lot where I just couldn't catch what they were saying. I've studied keigo grammar per se but I had never heard こちらへ before at all and that caught me off guard. I suppose it is possible it was in the textbook but never found it's way into my anki deck. 店内 makes sense but I wasn't looking for it. I guess I was looking for ここ as a nice easy translation from English and getting them to say that seems the equivalent of asking them to swear at me haha. If these are really the only two keywords to look for I suppose it isn't all that hard.. I wouldn't go so far as to ask them to use plain form but ます形 doesn't seem too unprofessional to me. Granted I'm biased lol.

That has to be こちらで, not へ, right?

I think you really have to rethink the emotional impact of using the incorrect forms, though.

If you called up the cable company, and they asked when you wanted the fscking installer to come, you would rightly be offended. In the same way a Japanese customer who gets desu masu 'd at would similarly be offended.

It's so out of place that it real impact.

We have a word in American English for words that are inherently offensive, and can be used to justify physical violence, and if they are used the hearer can be found not guilty of assault: "fighting words". And if they, or other words are said on broadcasts there are huge fines etc. And this is all in a country with, (heh, heh,) "freedom of speech"

Now imagine a language where that roles is played by using inappropriate forms rather than inappropriate words.

Now know that that is Japanese.

You can piss off people and lose friends by being too "polite" as well.

@kapalama
Rather than being particularly vulgar, it's just improper. It'd be like talking to customers as if they were friends in English ("'sup", "Whatcha lookin' for", etc. (I've heard people at the lower rungs of a company talk like this too... and they wonder why they can't get promoted)); not using keigo or kenjougo isn't vulgar, but it's rude in that you're speaking as equals when you shouldn't be; servers and shop employees are supposed to speak up to you, and you speak level to them; why? Because kissing the customer's ass is always a good thing (rather, it's 'being polite to the costumer', but it's pretty much the same thing).

In other words, while it's inappropriate, it's hardly to the level of swearing at your customers in English.

Because we only think in terms of proper and polite, and get emotional about only certain words, we tend to think that's how other people use their languages.

But that is not the case in Japanese. The C-word simply does not exist, and the emotional impact and devastation is done with 'improper' language. Calling a female a "cunt" in American English is emotionally impactful, and likely ends a relationship. Even though the sum total of all it is, for all that, is 'improper' language. It's made emotionally laden by native speakers' usage, and thus has a real emotional value. The word itself is nothing special, and is essentially used for casually playing the dozens in the British influenced world.

This is no different than the emotional baggage attached to words in Japanese. The baggage is there by convention. There is no word equivalent for 'cunt' in Japanese. There are plenty of emotionally equivalent ways of speaking.

And your example is interesting in itself. Americans swear at each other in front of service personnel, and even at the service personnel. The restriction is not on the language itself, it is on the direction of travel of the profanity.

In other words, profanity (in American English), and Son-Keigo (in Japanese) have pretty much the same rules in customer service.