I was earlier than your stage when I started a lot of this stuff, so don't put it off. It will continue to be how you described it in your original post for a while, but through the quantity of this method, you will be able to pick out more and more words over time. What I do:
1) Watch Anime at breakfast (25 mins is a good time to spend eating breakfast, that why) and dramas at teatime (I'm British

), al WITHOUT ENGLISH SUBS. Watch anime on
http://crunchyroll.com, older dramas on
http://youtube.com and download newer dramas at
http://doramax264.com/
2) Find loads of music I like on youtube and download audio from the videos using Freemake Video Converter (yes it's not entirely honest but since I'm limited to the ones with music videos, I have bought several albums after sampling music this way - but at this stage we want as much as possible as soon as possible)
http://www.freemake.com/free_video_converter/
3) Convert the dramas into audio files using Free make Video converter (online videos) or Free Video to MP3 Converter (downloaded video files)
http://www.dvdvideosoft.com/products/dvd...verter.htm . Cut these files into 15 minute peices or smaller using Mp3 Direct Cut (or Audacity)
http://mpesch3.de1.cc/mp3dc.html (you don't want to be listening to huge chunks of drama audio).
4) Wipe all English material from one iPod (or you could buy a cheap seperate player for this) and fill it completely up (mine is 8gb) with music, drama audio and random podcasts (should also be in 15 min chunks or less)
5) Listen to this iPod on constant shuffle whenever you can possibly wear headphones without making someone angry or endangering your life. Even when you think you need to concentrate too much, just listen to it more quietly and don't pay attention. When your not paying attention, it's just activating Japanese in your brain rather than testing comprehension. This is still valuable, because it simulates how you would feel in Japan; constantly surrounded but not always listening, which has a surprising effect of making you more receptive when you are listening. The shuffle will expertly guide you between bits of music, which are fun and motivating to listen to , and require no comprehension to enjoy, and chunks of speech which are mainly what's going to aid comprehension, but can get dull to listen to.
6) If you can, find transcripts for dramas at
http://dramanote.com and extract vocab from there by copying and pasting the transcripts into text files and creating anki cards while reading through it using the yomichan add on for anki
https://ankiweb.net/shared/info/934748696 There will be huge amounts of unknown words, so try to decide based on how useful the word is and how frequently it appears in the transcript whether to make a card from it.
7) Study the cards while listening to your iPod (you do everything in your life while listening to your ipod now). Once you've studied all the cards from one episode, break your shuffle and listen to the whole episode straight through to solidify the words aurally.
8) Rinse and repeat. (you'll find that after studying vocab from the dramas, you will instantly gain comprehension in all of what your listening to)
You shouldn't really be considering trying to bring up your speaking much yet if your listening is weak enough to be bothering you; you can't have a conversation if you can't understand what the other person is saying. When you are feeling a more confident with listening, then to improve speaking you just need to speak to people. You will bad at the speaking part but at least if you understand what's going on, you can choose to reply in the simplest way possible, whereas you can't control what the other person is going to say. In the mean time, just to get your tongue used to it and your mind used to producing phrases, there are a few things you should get used to doing:
1) Spend some time singing along to japanese songs loudly in your house. Trying to sound like the singer is something you'l do sort of naturally and so it will improve your pronounciation through mimicary.
2) Shadow the speech of characters in dramas (must be the same gender as you) and celebrities in interviews etc. When they say something repeat it. It's not about understanding or forming speech yourself it's pure copying. You're copying their prounciation, intonation, response noises etc. Even try a bit of the body language.
3) Read everything aloud. Especially if you read any manga, read it like an actor acting out all the characters and give them voices.
4) Talk to yourself in Japanese. Just the normal sort of stuff you'd talk to yourself about like "i need to get my bag. OMG I'm gonna be late!!", not some weird contrived conversation with your inner second personality, but perhaps more often than you'd usually do it.
5) Try to think a little in Japanese. Try stuff like describing your surroundings or planning what you're going to do this evening etc.
Edited: 2015-02-11, 4:47 pm