[Zgarbas]

Ok, so this is embarassing.
I may have mentioned that I stopped studying last year. I just couldn't stand looking at Japanese anymore. It was a particularly stressful time as I was waiting for my results from Monbusho and was generally anxious about not knowing what the nearby future holds. Aside from some weekly kaiwa classes that I had signed up for (which were really fun) I basically didn't see or hear Japanese for about 6 months. At the JLPT I basically had to read each paragraph about 3 times as everything was blurry (still passed it somehow). Cue coming to Japan. It's been almost a year now...

To my chagrin, the problem seems to be persisting. Don't get me wrong, I *can* use Japanese. I speak it on a regular basis, and not just in a conbini (though I do have my bad Japanese days, when I pretty much resort to caveman speech). I can attend classes in Japanese and follow what's being said, and usually I can provide my own input to some extent. But it's all a reflex. I hear what people say, but if you were to ask me that last word they said I wouldn't know. I don't even notice if people are speaking casual or です・ます to me. I space out. I don't even want to think about how the grammar I'm using sounds like. I remember the contents of conversation but not the language (to be fair, this happens in English&Romanian as well, but I'm not good enough to afford to not pay attention to language use in Japanese).

And let's not get into reading. Aside from rustiness from lack of practice, I can barely read. The moment I'm faced with a wall of Japanese my brain automatically loses interest and I get headaches and blurry vision. I read sentences and instant forget them. Even reading simple texts can take quite a bit of effort. And sometimes I get this thing where I know I've read something, I remember bits and pieces of it, but I've forgotten the whole (e.g. I recently read a book for school and then when I looked at the essay that we had to write I realised that I had no idea what a keyword meant, despite having just finished that book). Even reading the menu in restaurant can give me a headache.

Has anyone else had this? I don't really have much to be stressed out about these days, aside from how my being stressed out is interfering with my life. This is really problematic, especially the reading thing.

That is surprising coming from a person who has passed the JLPT1. I believe you might have headaches when reading because you have information overload. Try to cover parts of the text and see if the stress still happens. I've heard the reverse happens to japanese, and they groan whenever they have to read too much english text on a space that seems too short.

[Zgarbas]

I'm really good at the JLPT but that not good at Japanese itself. I managed to pass despite the exam being basically a 3 hour tension headache. I can still manage quite well given the circumstances (unless I state that I'm having trouble no one seems to notice), but I'd rather it not happen =P.

I get it regardless of the text size. Basically as soon as I see Japanese I just blur it out, and have to actively try to read it. It's not a difficulty factor, as I get this with pretty much anything. Having to strain makes tasks like going to the supermarket take up quite a bit of time ^^'. I also get the "in through one ear and out the other" effect a lot. I also get it with academic texts in English sometimes, so it's definitely linked to my expectations from the text. One notable exception is poetry. I can read poetry quite well still <3.

But yeah, I've had some people claim to have similar experiences when having to read in English, particularly when its their teacher forcing them to read English books despite it being a Japanese programme. Japanese language wise, a lot of the students here don't have a problem with reading per se, but I've noticed that blocking out and asking someone for a summary later is the norm. Maybe we're all just terrible underachievers.

Sounds like me and any kind of mathematics. ;-)

So now deep down Japanese is kind of linked to stress and anxiety, and of course we want to avoid those things. Hmmm. Maybe this is something worth looking into in the broader web more generally? I mean, I'm sure there must be lots of people who have had negative experiences which led them to have difficulty coming into contact with all kinds of things beyond foreign languages. But even just foreign languages in general, you might be able to discover some relevant advice.

Now, I have no bloody intention of learning mathematics again. But if I were? I guess I would set my expectations to ultra low and go very gradually from there. Simple stuff. And take a break the moment I start to feel a bit grossed out.

Was there anything you find particularly comfortable reading wise that you can get back into?

Zgarbas, do you wear glasses? Have you gotten new ones recently?

Vision problems can start to cause a lot of strange systems due to the strain and stress put on your eyes/brain from trying to make sense of the world. You might consider getting an eye exam again to see if maybe you need glasses or new lenses. Your eyes change over time as you get older, unfortunately.

As well, how is your health in other areas? Are you sleeping properly? Are you getting enough physical activity? Are you eating properly?

I'm not saying you have to become a peak physical and mental specimen in order to study Japanese or anything, but that it's a lot easier to concentrate when you're feeling well.

So this might be less of a Japanese problem and more of a lifestyle problem. I'm not certain how old you are, but it could just be that you're living a lifestyle that's not appropriate for your body at this age. I notice as I've gotten older that I am much less able to cope with not sleeping properly. You might be in a similar situation.

[s0apgun]

I've got a friend that has issues with seeing too much text at once so he usually reads on tablet with spacing and zoom on to help. He was able to read Atlas Shrugged all the way through no problem like that. Obviously not the best solution but maybe if you start reading again with small chunks you can gradually work back into normal font size.

I agree with getting your eyes checked I've been meaning to do the same since I started learning Japanese. It puts a lot of strain on your eyes.

My other suggestion is meditation and mindfulness to ease your anxiety... check the thread we have on here. http://forum.koohii.com/showthread.php?tid=11445

My problem has been for a while that every time I study I get tired and will fall asleep no matter what time of the day. So yeah... Japanese makes me sleepy. Hopefully I don't goto Japan and turn into a narcoleptic lol.

erlog Wrote:I notice as I've gotten older that I am much less able to cope with not sleeping properly.

I second this; I've always required a lot of sleep to function properly (which made college just fantastic...), but everyone requires approximately eight hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation messes with your concentration, memory, physical and mental energy, digestion, and pretty much everything else.

I still have this problem with large Japanese texts and it's the only reason I never finished The Lord of the Rings trilogy as a kid. Like others, I've also found that decreasing the amount of text on a page helps. If you use a reader, mess with the font size so that less text appears on the screen; the larger font should also help with eye strain, if that's a problem.
This is the only way I can bring myself to read Japanese novels at the moment.

If you like VNs, you might try getting back into reading by playing one. The text on one screen is just right for keeping a brain happy (lots of 'page turns' over a short period feels like more of an accomplishment than it is).

As for remembering things... Maybe try writing short summaries of things you've read recently. Perhaps one paragraph on a news article or lyric poem, or up to a page for short novels (or whatever, really). By recalling specific details of the passage for your summary, you should improve your ability to recall details in other Japanese passages (or you'll just remember, for far longer than necessary, that Han knew he wanted his wife to die, but was still unable to tell the court whether he actually tried to kill her or not. This and other English assignments are why I'm suggesting summaries as a possible tactic).

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[Zgarbas]

Wow, that's thorough. Thank you for the input, guys =).

The weird thing is that barring this weird episode that's been lasting for about 2 weeks now (needless to say, this amplified the Japanese => headache problem. Today, after getting particularly worried about something, I went into class and had to excuse myself since just reading the choukai test gave me an awful headache.), I'm fairly sure I've never lead a healthier lifestyle than my first 3 months here.

Eating right, doing light exercise whilst getting some sun (moving to a huge city => walking 1-2 hours a day; not exactly exercise but quite a contrast to my previous hikkikomori lifestyle), sleeping every night for 70 nights in a row (a few I've not done since primary), the works. I do wear glasses, and changed my prescription quite recently, in November - nearsighted, but not extremely. Due to the depressive episode I'm sleeping too much lately, otherwise I was averaging a good 7-8 hours a day. This is following a semester which was essentially nothing but partying (and "pre-moving to an unknown country for the first time...maybe" anxiety). I'm still a research student, and my classes aren't really that demanding - sort of. Not doing well in class is most definitely depressing, and obviously, due to the becoming unable to read they can be quite a chore... I have to improvise quite a lot. However, I got really lucky and teachers are very lax with research students who are already 上級. They're quite understanding, and I didn't get any nightmare-esque experiences like the ones I heard about from some of the lower levels/other schools. I've not really faced much gaijin discrimination, either. Nor isolation. I was really prepared for them, too =/

I did hit a wall a few weeks ago, completely randomly, which slowed down my progress with my thesis, but until then it was doing pretty well. As far as I can tell, I should be doing great. I'm not exactly sure why such a troublesome problem decided to show up exactly when I am at a peak, and when I need Japanese the most (classes in japanese, next year's entrance exam in Japanese, have this huge amount of Japanese books readily available, etc.). Really, my most stressful factor atm is the fact that I'm stressed out.

I didn't really think about the thinking in Japanese aspect. Thinking in different languages always came pretty natural to me, and I'm in such a supportive environment that I don't care much for mistakes so long as the meaning goes through (not always the case). I do find my English getting worse for some reason, and have what I like to call "bad language days", when communicating in either English or Japanese is pretty much impossible (I never use Romanian anymore outside Facebook, so let's not even get into that).

@aging: I'm only 24, guys! I'm still too young to worry about aging... right?

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I tend to get really sleepy when reading in Japanese... something I don't experience in German or English (3rd and 2nd langs) unless I'm really sleepy.

Maybe it's because I read jp on my tablet or phone, which I previously used when reading German in my bed before going to sleep?

It's not you, it also happens to me. You get sleepy because you are straining your brain trying to read unknown symbols as words, and there is a point the brain throws the towel and shuts down, because concentration is a limited resource (it has been measured on competitive chess players) and you exhausted all. Once you become familiar with words you no longer feel as tired as the stress in your brain is greatly reduced.

I got accustomed to read japanese texts when I want to sleep, though is getting less effective nowadays.

Looks like others beat me to it, but definitely check out your eyes. I have friends who were getting headaches, thought something was wrong with them, and then it just turned out they needed glasses!

I still don't know much Japanese, so take my opinion here with a grain of salt, but is it possible you are more fluent than you think you are? Isn't it a good thing that you don't have to analyze grammar or remember the last word in a sentence? Do you do that in English? I would have to force myself to remember the last word someone said. If you can get the gist of what people are saying without thinking about it much, I'd say that's actually a good thing :-).

I also get tired when I read Japanese sometimes. It depends on the time of day and often the tiredness goes away after ten minutes or so. I think it's because I'm using my brain differently than what I normally do all day so it protests a bit.

Actually...I think I may need to get my eyes checked too because recently I have needed to sit closer to the TV when playing videogames. Granted, there are so many details now in HD games that my eyes try to focus on everything. Playing older games is easier on my eyes!

Good luck! I'm sure you'll figure it out.

My guess is that you are experiencing headaches because you are immersed in an environment that is relatively new to you and your brain is running on the highest revs - even when you are not consciously trying to make sense out of what you hear/see.

This is a common phenomenon between people who move out of their home country and try to function in their new surroundings. The same thing happened to my French friend when he visited Poland, it happened to me when I moved to Australia.

This headache is not going to last forever, so 頑張れ…

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Getting your eyes and physical health checked is a good idea, but you might want to consider some counseling for stress, as well. I don't know how good any facilities would be in Japan, though.

A little tidbit, just thought I'd share (to build on bertoni's post)
Fairly unrelated to o.p./subsequent posts

From the source:
"They then showed that the increase in well-being from an £800 course of therapy was so large that it would take a pay rise of over £25,000 to achieve an equivalent increase in well-being." Science Daily

/back on topic
Not sure how the logistics work, but when a person focuses on one area too much and neglects other areas, disharmony begins to surface in the form of physical pain.

For example, someone exercises too often, tears a muscle; during that time he neglected rest and recovery. Recovery allows one's muscles to grow post-exercise, as opposed to continuously being torn down by repeated movements. In Zgarbas's case, maybe the area of over-exertion is in studying/learning. Maybe have a few incredibly relaxing days to relax your mind, or perhaps find a relaxing activity you can do once a week / once a day. (Any approach that would help "recover" your mind -- cups of earl grey, walks by a pond, visits to a Japanese bath, whatever fits you. Or any of the above suggestions, if they sound like they could work.)

I'd check that you aren't having sleep apnea or something, since you say you're sleeping a good amount of hours, check that it's good sleep.

starting college is stressful. moving to a new country that is 'unique' like japan is stressful.
get a massage, and do something that you like / makes you feel good.
try to pull through for a few weeks/ a month and reassess.
I got huge homesickness the first couple months in college and after I made some great friends and started having a great time I forgot all about it.
I have a hunch the same will happen for you.

I had a similar experience. I came to Japan and gradually stopped using anki. I think that it was because "I know japanese" and have no problems. My classes are all in japanese and I speak japanese every day. I guess that, because I'm already here and already practice it, I lost interest. I wouldn't say burnout, but more like of a cultural burnout.

I also stopped using japanese media completely. I guess that I "need" someone more familiar to me, to what I was used to before. Actually before coming to Japan I spent around 2 years immersed in the language. I came here and started watching TV shows I used to watch before my japanese immersion.

I'm getting back at it now. About 1500 reps to go down, and after that I intend to getting back to normal. I was kind of scared because despite being able to read and stuff, because I haven't been ankiing for the past year on a regular basis, that I've been forgetting many words when I talk. So I'm back to ankiing in　朗読 mode