[Zgarbas]

(2016-01-07, 8:07 pm)afterglowefx Wrote:

(2016-01-05, 2:29 am)Zgarbas Wrote: I don't really hang out outside campus, but every now and then I find myself interacting with expat bubbles and it's always interesting for me to see their idea of Japan and Japanese.

I'd be interested in hearing your take on the same, given you live in what is essentially just another type of bubble. No offense taken or meant, honestly curious. Although definitely a subject for another thread.

So this is something that I've been wondering about a lot lately.

I think that people inevitably end up in bubbles. It's simply how human relationships work, you end up hanging out with people of similar interests, education level, and class, and that inevitably ends up painting your image of society. For example, my impression of Romanian society has changed drastically since I've left, since I was living in a pretty comfortable bubble over there, and now I read more news and get more exposed to society as it is in general.

And it's the same with universities. I live in a bubble that is not particularly a gaijin bubble, though it definitely features many foreigners. However, it doesn't *feel* like one. One is the rather racist assumption that relates the term 'foreigner' to Caucasian, as my Chinese friends sometimes remind me that 'Hey zgarbas you're not the only foreigner here, we're *all* foreigners' - though of course, since they're Asian and I speak to them in Japanese I don't acknowledge that subconsciously. It doesn't feel like a gaijin bubble even when it is because I know that almost all of my friends can get by in Japanese if they wanted to... but every now and then I do get hit by reality when I try to introduce people from different circles of friends to one another, and my Japanese/Chinese friends have to switch to English and be uncomfortable, or my other friends use Japanese and are obviously in 'omg talking in Japanese let's not be comfortable because we worry about the language' mode. This is also known as 'Zgarbas discovers that once you get used to speaking to a person in one language, switching becomes really difficult, so they find themselves being 'that guy' who makes group conversation difficult'.

I guess for me living in Japan is just kind of like living in any other country. I don't know, it's not something that I would classify as a unique experience; maybe it helps that I know I'd be a minority anywhere I'd go. I have social anxiety so I'm used to feeling out of place and shy around strangers, so maybe that helps as well. On some level I am still really shy about being in a room where I'm the only non-Japanese, but I couldn't say how much of that is me and how much of that is the expectations built around the idea; often, harder than actually being in Japan is the fact that I have all these ideas about how it should be. I'm also shy if I end up in a room full of native English speakers, as I've found out on a couple of occasions (compliments on your English sound a lot like '日本語は上手ですね').

In many ways, I find it a lot easier to be myself here than in Romania. So that's nice. But again, the people I tend to hang out with are grad students, or people I meet at gay parades, volunteer events, and punk concerts, so maybe that's why. The fact that I mention this is in itself a consequence of the stereotypical idea of Japan: not like I meet anyone outside these circles in other countries; I mean, if I were to go to a gathering of unknown businessmen in Romania I wouldn't be disappointed if I didn't bond with anyone instantly because duh but somehow when that happens in Japan it does get to me a bit.

So what does it mean for me to live in Japan? I'm not really sure, it definitely doesn't seem to match up with any general ideas. My Japan is quite multicultural, and people are really open. Even that's an exception for some reason, since many of my colleagues (living in the same area, same conditions as I) complain about things that almost never happen to me*. And of course, coming from Eastern Europe tends to give you much lower standards for society in general, so again that probably helps.

Language wise, again, I am really comfortable, but at the same time I know it is accommodated comfort... but it would be the same in English, since most people don't understand my accent. I feel much better speaking Japanese than English, which surprised me. It's like, I'm aware that I make a million mistakes, but no one cares so I don't, so long as I can say what I want to say**. There's just a complete lack of expectation from you in Japanese, and that makes it easy for me. English is complicated and people have different levels and accents and there's this sense of expectation about it that makes it difficult for me to talk to people, so even though it's the only language I'm fluent in, I tend to avoid it; even in Korea, I only used Japanese, since it just didn't come as naturally for me to use English. I think it's because since I'm the one with the bad Japanese, people accommodate me, whereas in English I'm the one who ends up having to change accents, talking unnaturally and choosing words carefully in order to be understood.

*I have no idea why, but it seems like there are some really arbitrary conditions for people talking to you in Japanese. I went to a restaurant last week with a friend with whom I am virtually identical with, traits wise: same skin tone, same build, same height, same eye colour, similar clothes, similar haircut. The waitress comes up to me and asks me for my reservation in Japanese, but asks them about theirs in English. Blew. my. mind.

**When I can't, I get the reminder that I'm not really fluent. Frustrating when it happens, but somehow it doesn't really get to me. Keeps me humble, though.

Man, this turned into a really long post that in the end doesn't really say much. Sorry.