IceCream Wrote:Here's how to turn negative thoughts into positive, but realistic thoughts:

* I just don't know what to do, which direction to go in my life.
-> i'm not sure what i want to do with my life yet, so i'm going to go out and try a bunch of different things until i do know what i want to do.

*I've studied economics, finance and accountancy, but I've forgotten a lot
-> i have a good, useful degree, so i always have that to fall back on if i need a job. I just need to brush up on some stuff i can't remember right now.

*I wanted to be an astronomist / cosmologist, but I'm not good enough in maths / physics
-> i wanted to be an astronomist, but i haven't learned maths and physics well enough yet. So, i'm going to start off learning these right from the basics, and make sure i have those solidly down. Then i can pursue this in the future.

*I'm also interested in IT, with which I might actually be able to make a living, but right now I'm at home with my parents...
-> I'm interested in IT too though, so if astronomy doesn't work out it's no big deal. I'll research what skills i'll need to get an IT job, then start applying. Luckily, I'm at home with my parents right now, so I have all the time I need to do that kind of research.

* I have to come up with a plan and real soon, because I have to move.
-> I'm really lucky to have parents who care about me and want me to be happy, and give me the time I need to decide what I want to do in the world. But I also want to live independantly, so i'll do my research as quickly as I can.

*Being a physicist is too far fetched (I'm 27 already) besides I don't want to study full-time again - it just doesn't feel right (and I also cannot afford it).
-> I know i can achieve whatever I want to, but I have to be prepared to work hard for it. Right now my priority is to get a job though, so i'll continue studying those things I love in my spare time. That way, I can get to the level I need to be at, while saving some money. Being able to afford study can be difficult, but i'll just have to try my best to get a scholarship. If I can't get one now, I'll find out what would improve my chances and try again later. etc.

*I'm attracted to big cities, and big things in general (macroeconomics, cosmology, ect) but also interested in programming. But I feel lost.
-> i have a general idea of where my interests lie, and it's quite a wide area, so there's probably tons of jobs i'd be interested in! I'll have to try more things in real life before I can really decide.

* I just feel it doesn't matter what I choose it WILL be the wrong decision, so I'm afraid to chose, to move out...
-> it doesn't really matter what I do, or what happens, as long as I try my best, try to make the most out of every opportunity and learn from things that go wrong, or that i end up not enjoying.

* in my past all my decisions since the university were mistakes....basically all of them. No, come to think of it since choosing what to stuy, all my choices were mistakes.
-> well, i haven't been too happy with some of my previous decisions, but there's no real point in regretting the past, because everyone can only make decisions based on the information they have at the time. Anyway, I always learn from whatever i do in the world, good or bad, so it's no big deal.

* i'm such a loser, i missed an opportunity to cheat today.
-> hey, cool, i'm not some scummy mf who wants to win by cheating. If that's what they expected of me, that company is clearly going to suck to work for anyway, so, whatever. Other, better opportunities'll come along.

*Hahahahaaha riiiiight. I've been bouncing my head into the wall for the last 20 minutes, pretty sure the bitch has to do something with me getting to psychiatria. Seems like I have some god damned emotional turmoil, when I saw her relationship status, my heart was bouncing.
-> damn, the girl i liked is in love with someone else. I feel a bit rubbish right now. But i spent a lot of time with her, and liked her a lot, so it's pretty normal that i don't feel so good about it. Just gotta ride it out. It's not her fault, really.

* Seems like I have a bad habit of not being able to get over things. How do you do that? Yes I can forget, but sometimes it reoccurs, just for a second / minute, and then fades away.
-> This hurts a bit cos i really liked her. That's actually normal though. Just gotta ride it out.

* Damn, I'm sorting my files and I came over an email (saved in doc format) I sent to that.....person. Damn....If only I could go back one year before....if only......just one year....
-> ah man, sorting my files and reading stuff i sent her a year ago probably isn't going to help right now. I'm gonna go outside and take a walk for a bit. Ah well, there's no point in regretting the past. Sometimes things just don't work out, and people you fall in love with don't love you back. It hurts, but it's the way it is. I'll probably find someone who i get on better with and who really loves me in the future sometime.

etcetcetc.

Do you see? It IS possible. Every negative thought you have, you need to think about it, try to put it in some perspective, and then you can learn to think about it differently.

IceCream Wrote: llolol. that's better!!!

hahah that video is great

Blahah Wrote:Actually Reschaverak it sounds like you're not doing too badly for someone of 27. I'm 26, and just finishing my batchelors degree in a few months. Until I was 23, I basically had done nothing positive with my life and was on a very dark path. I had a big wake-up call, and that coupled with meeting my gf helped me start putting my life on the right track. You at least have your accounting/financial education behind you.

I think there are several key reasons why you're in a good position to do something very fulfilling and satisfying with your life from here on. Firstly, you have some interests, which is an important thing many people lack. Without curiosity, and without a hobby, life lacks structure and that so often leads to depression. So it's actually a pretty good start that you're interested in big physics and programming. Those aren't just any interests either - they happen to be things very well aligned with what's important to society in general. You can harness that to turn them into a career.

There's another reason programming is a great thing to be interested in: you don't need a formal education to make a career out of programming. You can teach yourself, and experience is the key thing. You have access to the internet, so you've got access to all the best resources. If you're able to provide for your basic needs, plus a computer and the internet, you can become a very good programmer. You can make money from it with a bit of creativity.

Next, I wonder whether your interest in 'big' things is limited to big things in physics, or whether it extends to the rest of science? Because although physics is not struggling for programmers, the life sciences really are. Some of the biggest and most exciting research areas are stalling for lack of programming skills in the biological research community. You could very realistically turn your interest in programming and 'big things' to a career in bioinformatics for example. It doesn't have to be biology, but if you're not particularly fixated on cosmology etc., you could teach yourself programming and apply it in another field, which will make your skills more valuable: programming plus another (scientific) specialisation is extremely valuable in the job marketplace. If you're interested in pursuing the scientific programming thing, let's talk.

Finally, I think you need to give yourself a break about the girl situation. It's cliché, but there are 3.5 billion women in the world, and you'll meet many thousands of them in your life. Don't get hung up over one - just get on with experiencing life and you'll pretty soon find someone even better.

Also, don't forget to get regular exercise. I find long walks in particular always help straighten out my head when I get stuck in any extreme emotional rut.

Raschaverak Wrote:I want to be in loooooove

But I probably was not long ago....

Blahah Wrote:Also, don't forget to get regular exercise.

vileru Wrote:

Blahah Wrote:Also, don't forget to get regular exercise.

I can't believe that this thread reached the fourth page without mentioning this. Exercise is essential. Even if you think you have other higher priorities, put regular exercise first. If you're not convinced, Google the connection between exercise and psychological well-being.

Raschaverak Wrote:Just got a new job, startig 2 weeks from now on. It's a big IT company so we'll see...
On the other hand I need to get regular exercise

Eikyu Wrote:I hope I'm not banned for this, but I think one thing really dragging down this forum has been the horrible moderation over the years. Users who didn't really do anything wrong have been banned, threads like these are closed. I guess that's why the traffic is so low and the recent posts thing is almost empty at times. Why clamp down on interesting discussions? IMO, the best moderation is to have almost no moderation, except to restrict hateful speech, insults, flame wars, memes and spam.

Eikyu Wrote:I hope I'm not banned for this, but I think one thing really dragging down this forum has been the horrible moderation over the years. Users who didn't really do anything wrong have been banned, threads like these are closed. I guess that's why the traffic is so low and the recent posts thing is almost empty at times. Why clamp down on interesting discussions? IMO, the best moderation is to have almost no moderation, except to restrict hateful speech, insults, flame wars, memes and spam.

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Quote:Traffic is low because it is a forum dedicated to a pretty niche target.

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Anyone has any ideas about this. What I`m trying to pull off here is: to get a bsc and then maybe an msc degree in physics or at least try it, but I can only do it part time, since I have to work full time. I`m willing to relocate to any country where the circumstances are better (If I could get a grant somehow I would even become a full-time student). What I`m missing is a (or more) comprehensive site(s) where all the info is there. Randomly searching the internet did not bring anything up (eg. keywords like: part-time physics course, student loan, part-time student loan, ect.)

Raschaverak Wrote:Hi, I`ve been trying to sort out my studies in the UK. I came into contact with the open university but thay told me that since I already have a degree, I cannot apply for a student loan (WTF?) at all. I feel kind of lost here, is there no way to fund my phsyics (BSc) degree other than my own salary? Unfortunately that`s not enough, sooo I seem to have reached a money barrier.

Anyone has any ideas about this. What I`m trying to pull off here is: to get a bsc and then maybe an msc degree in physics or at least try it, but I can only do it part time, since I have to work full time. I`m willing to relocate to any country where the circumstances are better (If I could get a grant somehow I would even become a full-time student). What I`m missing is a (or more) comprehensive site(s) where all the info is there. Randomly searching the internet did not bring anything up (eg. keywords like: part-time physics course, student loan, part-time student loan, ect.)