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+--- Thread: Don't know what to do.... (/thread-9262.html)
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
kitakitsune Wrote:Where I come from that would be a good sign to hire you.Well I swear 5 more minutes and I would have it on my phone. The idea just didn't occur to me at first...only a few minutes later (after reading the whole thing). Does that mean I'm hired?
When do I start?
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
kitakitsune Wrote:Where I come from that would be a good sign to hire you.Maybe if you're looking for good little worker ants. If you want capable of bending/ignoring arbitrary rules maybe not.
Don't know what to do.... - IceCream - 2012-04-06
well, if you wanna think about it like that, he also "missed the opportunity" to break the "arbitrary rule" not to steal whatever was in the room at the time.
I can think of a lot better ways to test "thinking outside the box" or whatever company-esque bs that's supposed to be.
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
Perfect. I just found out that the girl I was after just got a new boyfriend, a lawyer. Haha, good for them.
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
just because she got a new boyfriend doesn't mean you have to stop pursuing her.
Don't know what to do.... - IceCream - 2012-04-06
then again, there is this: http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/02/21/1118373109.abstract
Quote:Higher social class predicts increased unethical behaviour.Proven, hahah.
Seven studies using experimental and naturalistic methods reveal that upper-class individuals behave more unethically than lower-class individuals. In studies 1 and 2, upper-class individuals were more likely to break the law while driving, relative to lower-class individuals. In follow-up laboratory studies, upper-class individuals were more likely to exhibit unethical decision-making tendencies (study 3), take valued goods from others (study 4), lie in a negotiation (study 5), cheat to increase their chances of winning a prize (study 6), and endorse unethical behavior at work (study 7) than were lower-class individuals. Mediator and moderator data demonstrated that upper-class individuals’ unethical tendencies are accounted for, in part, by their more favorable attitudes toward greed.
So there you go Rascharevak, you should be looking to become as low and scummy as possible, then you'll fit right in with the rest of the greedy lot.
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
Icecream Wrote:I can think of a lot better ways to test "thinking outside the box" or whatever company-esque bs that's supposed to be.If you're running a business, do you only want people who follow these kinds of unwritten rules (copying is bad) perfectly, or do you also want a handful of people who think differently and find ways of beating your competitors?
Don't know what to do.... - IceCream - 2012-04-06
Well, if i was running a business, i would prefer to have individuals who can think for themselves, of course, but still have a solid grasp of basic ethics. Logic being, they'd be less likely to ***** me over and run off with whatever they could take. Plus, if the only way to beat my competitors is by being unethical, tbh, i'm probably in the wrong sector entirely and should just get a better business idea to begin with.
I certainly wouldn't be holding it against anyone if they didn't think about cheating on a test. There's sooooo many better ways to test whether you can think for yourself than that.
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
nadiatims Wrote:just because she got a new boyfriend doesn't mean you have to stop pursuing her.Hahahahaaha riiiiight. I've been bouncing my head into the wall for the last 20 minutes, pretty sure the bitch has to do something with me getting to psychiatria. Seems like I have some god damned emotional turmoil, when I saw her relationship status, my heart was bouncing. Now it's all good. Honestly I don't know why the **** I gave even a slight damn about her, but that's ok. I new from the begginning what's happenning. I'm stupid as hell. Stupid, stupid, stupid.....stu.....bah.
Don't know what to do.... - Zgarbas - 2012-04-06
... o.O, well that's surely an interesting response to a girl just getting herself a boyfriend, right there.
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
Raschaverak, did you ever actually make any moves? ask her out?
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
Zgarbas Wrote:... o.O, well that's surely an interesting response to a girl just getting herself a boyfriend, right there.Why is it interesting? Of course it was my fault for starting even dating women. Ah, screw this, I need to do something with my time rather than sitting in front of a computer all the time, that way everything will be good.
Don't know what to do.... - Zgarbas - 2012-04-06
Nice Guys™ have always fascinated me, but that response really takes it up a notch.
Don't know what to do.... - Tzadeck - 2012-04-06
A big part of learning to pursue women is learning to not get that upset when it doesn't work out. You will meet tons of women in your life that are single and beautiful and have good personalities, and there will be a million reasons why it won't work out even if you two get along and they like you. And then there are all those times where they won't really like you. It happens to everyone. (Unfortunately, being a guy, you're often too stupid to realize when you actually don't like them either. Nevertheless, you beat yourself up over it. Guys are bad at that. Also, guys don't like to admit that they beat themselves up over things, so don't be fooled by the impression that other guys give off.)
A big part of my journey in getting better at finding beautiful and interesting women has not been becoming more charismatic, outgoing, or interesting. Rather, it's been accepting that a high failure rate is just part of the game.
(Reminds me of a line in the movie Before Sunset. The two lovers in the movie met once and had a romantic day and night together, but they didn't exchange phone numbers or addresses because they didn't want their feelings to slowly and sadly fade away. When they meet by chance eight years later, they realize it was a mistake because they've spent so much time thinking about each other. She explains why they didn't exchange numbers, "I guess when you are young, you believe that you will meet many people with whom you'll connect with, but later in life you realize it only happens a few times." It's true, you won't meet that many people in life that you really connect with.)
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
Did Raschaverak strategically ignore my question...?
Don't know what to do.... - Tzadeck - 2012-04-06
IceCream Wrote:then again, there is this: http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/02/21/1118373109.abstractIceCream, did you ever read The Inner Ring, by C.S. Lewis? This reminded me of it even though it's only vaguely related.
Quote:Higher social class predicts increased unethical behaviour.Proven, hahah.
Seven studies using experimental and naturalistic methods reveal that upper-class individuals behave more unethically than lower-class individuals. In studies 1 and 2, upper-class individuals were more likely to break the law while driving, relative to lower-class individuals. In follow-up laboratory studies, upper-class individuals were more likely to exhibit unethical decision-making tendencies (study 3), take valued goods from others (study 4), lie in a negotiation (study 5), cheat to increase their chances of winning a prize (study 6), and endorse unethical behavior at work (study 7) than were lower-class individuals. Mediator and moderator data demonstrated that upper-class individuals’ unethical tendencies are accounted for, in part, by their more favorable attitudes toward greed.
Normally I wouldn't really recommend anything by Lewis, but I always thought that this was a well given and insightful speech. Here it is:
http://www.lewissociety.org/innerring.php
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
Seems like I have a bad habit of not being able to get over things. How do you do that? Yes I can forget, but sometimes it reoccurs, just for a second / minute, and then fades away.
Damn, I'm sorting my files and I came over an email (saved in doc format) I sent to that.....person. Damn....If only I could go back one year before....if only......just one year.....
Don't know what to do.... - Zgarbas - 2012-04-06
How about not instantly deciding to unperson and label people as bitches just because they did not perform as you wanted them to? You'd be surprised how much that helps with girls*.
Maybe a livejournal would better serve for this particular purpose?
*if you're into the kind of girls that would only date someone for their proffession then your taste in women might need some rethinking. If you're just assuming that that person went out with that person for his profession then you might want to rethink your view on women. We have magical instincts that can feel that and get instantly turned off by it you know.
Don't know what to do.... - nadiatims - 2012-04-06
Raschaverak, do you consider yourself unlucky?
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
Zgarbas Wrote:How about not instantly deciding to unperson and label people as bitches just because they did not perform as you wanted them to? You'd be surprised how much that helps with girls*.Please, please don't get me the wrong way, as a childish woman-hater idiot. Nope. But, I was nice to this girl always, but she treated me like garbage....and I till continued to chase her.....love? Maybe. Yes I feel myself unlucky......the last 6 months have been the worst of my life sitting home here, taking medication. There is only one person to blame: me, nobody else. But still if I haven't ever met her, this probably never would have happened....so...yes. I want my lost year back.....
Maybe a livejournal would better serve for this particular purpose?
*if you're into the kind of girls that would only date someone for their proffession then your taste in women might need some rethinking. If you're just assuming that that person went out with that person for his profession then you might want to rethink your view on women. We have magical instincts that can feel that and get instantly turned off by it you know.
Don't know what to do.... - IceCream - 2012-04-06
Raschaverak... sorry, but you're coming off as completely crazy right now.
For one thing, for the whole of the 2(?) years you've been saying "these last few months have been the worst of my life", so i don't think it has much to do with this girl. Or having a job. Or not having a job. Or missing opportunities. Or whatever.
Go and take a walk outside, then come back and reread the kinds of things you've been writing, as if you were someone else reading them. What would you say to someone else with the same problems as you? What advice would you give them? Hopefully you'll get another perspective...? Because it's your perspective on everything in life that's causing you problems, not external circumstances.
Obviously the medication isn't working, so you need to either try another type, or, since i think you're not going to do that, work very hard to stop thinking about everything in such a negative manner. And no, you don't need money or a psychiatrist to be able to do that. Just change your perspective on things. That's all that's necessary.
When you notice that you're having a negative thought, stop, and think really hard about whether that thing is actually negative, or whether you're just thinking about it badly. Because pretty much everything you're getting upset about is coming from your own head, and your own perspective on things.
***
@tzadeck: that really is a beautiful speech... i hadn't read it before, so, thankyou!!!
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
IceCream Wrote:Raschaverak... sorry, but you're coming off as completely crazy right now.Well I'm still taking the meds, and they are working, but they cannot change the way I think...so yeah. It might seem crazy what I've written..haha, I know. And I probably have the wrong perspective on the whole thing as well. So I will try not to think negatively at all....but right now I'm emotionally a bit unbalanced. Maybe I will jump into a pool to cool myself down a bit
For one thing, for the whole of the 2(?) years you've been saying "these last few months have been the worst of my life", so i don't think it has much to do with this girl. Or having a job. Or not having a job. Or missing opportunities. Or whatever.
Go and take a walk outside, then come back and reread the kinds of things you've been writing, as if you were someone else reading them. What would you say to someone else with the same problems as you? What advice would you give them? Hopefully you'll get another perspective...? Because it's your perspective on everything in life that's causing you problems, not external circumstances.
Obviously the medication isn't working, so you need to either try another type, or, since i think you're not going to do that, work very hard to stop thinking about everything in such a negative manner. And no, you don't need money or a psychiatrist to be able to do that. Just change your perspective on things. That's all that's necessary.
When you notice that you're having a negative thought, stop, and think really hard about whether that thing is actually negative, or whether you're just thinking about it badly. Because pretty much everything you're getting upset about is coming from your own head, and your own perspective on things.
***
@tzadeck: that really is a beautiful speech... i hadn't read it before, so, thankyou!!!
Don't know what to do.... - Zgarbas - 2012-04-06
Man, medication doesn't solve stuff like this.
Don't know what to do.... - Hashiriya - 2012-04-06
If it makes you feel any better I'm 28 and am on track to finish my bachelors degree when I am 29.... I totally agree that the job market is horrible. It looks like I'm going in the military as soon as I graduate.
Don't know what to do.... - Raschaverak - 2012-04-06
Hashiriya Wrote:If it makes you feel any better I'm 28 and am on track to finish my bachelors degree when I am 29.... I totally agree that the job market is horrible. It looks like I'm going in the military as soon as I graduate.Huh...the military...that's not for me... well hopefully I will get a job sooner or later