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+--- Thread: Why didn't he open the gift? (/thread-8017.html)
Why didn't he open the gift? - Splatted - 2011-06-26
I was reading one of the pieces on this site (thanks to those who posted it here). It's a short story about a student who visits a teachers house. The student brings a gift, but when she gives it to her teacher he puts it aside without looking at it. At the end it asks the reader why he did this but I have absolutely no idea, can someone enlighten me?
Here's the story:
「つまらないものですが、どうぞ」
日本に来て初めの日曜日にパーカーさんは田中先生のお宅に挨拶に行きました。田中先生はこれから１年間いろいろパーカーさんのお世話をして下さる先生です。ふつう日本では人の家を訪ねる時おみやげを持って行くと習ったので、パーカーさんはデパートでケーキを買って、地下鉄で先生のお宅へ行きました。
奥さんが出て来て、応接間へ案内して下さいました。お茶が出されて５分ぐらいあとで先生が入っていらっしゃいました。「ああ、パーカーさん、よくいらっしゃいました。遅くなってすみません。電話をかけていたものですから。」と先生がおっしゃいました。パーカーさんは、「先生、これから１年間いろいろお世話になります。どうぞよろしくお願いします」と挨拶をして、「これ、つまらないものですが、どうぞ」と言って先生にデパートで買ったケーキの箱を渡しました。先生は、「これは、どうもありがとうございます」と言ってケーキの箱を自分の横に置いてしまいました。先生がすぐケーキの箱を開けてみるだろうと思っていたパーカーさんはびっくりしました。どうして先生はケーキの箱を開けなかったのでしょうか。
a.パーカーさんが何を持って来たか分かっていたから。
b.ケーキを開けるより話がしたかったから。
c.おくさんが来たら開けていっしょに見ようと思ったから。
d.日本ではお客の前でもらったものをすぐ開けない習慣だから。
Thanks for any help.
Why didn't he open the gift? - IceCream - 2011-06-26
the answer's d. It's not usual to open gifts in front of the person who bought it... i was really surprised the first time this happened to me too! But some people do, if they know western customs better...
Why didn't he open the gift? - Splatted - 2011-06-26
Thanks IceCream, any idea why this is? The only reasons I can think of are that it makes it easier to hide your dissapointment, or maybe by showing less interest in the gift it makes it seem like your more interested in the person themselves?
These stories are surprisingly interesting; they're full of unexpected cultural differences. It's not just the Japanese; Americans are wierd too.
Why didn't he open the gift? - arch9443 - 2011-06-26
Wow I haven't seen that site before. Thanks for linking it. I could actually read that which made me feel like just a little less stupid. lol.
And that is pretty interesting. I like learning about cultural differences.
Why didn't he open the gift? - radical_tyro - 2011-06-26
cool site. am i the only one that has a blank 単語リスト at the bottom of the page even after clicking words? i tried it in 3 browsers so maybe it's just busted
Why didn't he open the gift? - Tzadeck - 2011-06-26
Splatted Wrote:Thanks IceCream, any idea why this is? The only reasons I can think of are that it makes it easier to hide your dissapointment, or maybe by showing less interest in the gift it makes it seem like your more interested in the person themselves?I think it's a mistake to think that cultural difference happen for particular reasons. If you ask people, they will come up with reasons, but usually it's just because that's how it is.
For example, ask people in Japan why it's rude to eat while walking. You'll get a bunch of different reasons from different people.
As for myself, I've been living in Japan for three years. Now when I see people eating and walking it really annoys me. Why? Because nobody usually does it, and for some reason it just becomes annoying to see people do it. And, to top it off, the type of people who seem to do it are always little shits--usually young guys who think they're badass.
I'm guessing that other people are annoyed by it for the same reason I am--because it's breaking a cultural norm. There's no real reason for the norm, but for some reason it sticks and works.
Why didn't he open the gift? - jishera - 2011-06-26
@arch9443 - Here's more reading practice websites like that one:
http://forum.koohii.com/showthread.php?tid=8005
Personally, I will open a gift if I am alone with that friend and if they seem excited about the gift. If there are tons of people in the house, then I wait until later to open it (especially if I didn't expect people to bring gifts and only a few of my closest friends did).
I don't eat very much while walking, and when I do, it's normally a snack bar or a drink. Would that still be considered rude in Japan? :-)
Why didn't he open the gift? - bodhisamaya - 2011-06-26
Breaking social norms is not a bad thing if there is no logical reason for them.
I tell Japanese people the reason I do not eat while walking is a thief on bicycle might whiz by and steal my sandwich right out of my hand.
It is much more annoying walking behind three teenage girls, obaasans or businessmen who are at a snail's pace and making no room to pass. I encounter this everyday walking to work. What can be more rude?
Why didn't he open the gift? - vinniram - 2011-06-26
I think if you're a foreigner and go to another country wherever it may be (not necessarily Japan), you have to make every effort to follow the customs there. If you don't, and are one of those brats who continuously complains about the way things are, criticizes things, and makes no effort to fit in, you should just leave. That's the mindset I'll have when I go to Japan, whenever that may be.
Why didn't he open the gift? - bcrAn - 2011-06-27
@Tzadeck Sometimes you have to move between distant locations and don't really have the time to do otherwise. It has happened to me and I don't consider myself a badass guy.
I agree with @bodhisamaya's "Breaking social norms is not a bad thing if there is no logical reason for them.", unless it could get you in trouble of course. However @vinniram's "make every effort to follow the customs there" is also a wise piece of advice.
Why didn't he open the gift? - Tzadeck - 2011-06-27
bucaran Wrote:@Tzadeck Sometimes you have to move between distant locations and don't really have the time to do otherwise. It has happened to me and I don't consider myself a badass guy.I'm confused--are you Japanese? Much like the Japanese, I don't really expect non-Japanese people to act all that Japanese.
Why didn't he open the gift? - nadiatims - 2011-06-27
vinniram Wrote:I think if you're a foreigner and go to another country wherever it may be (not necessarily Japan), you have to make every effort to follow the customs there. If you don't, and are one of those brats who continuously complains about the way things are, criticizes things, and makes no effort to fit in, you should just leave. That's the mindset I'll have when I go to Japan, whenever that may be.Do you follow every stupid cultural rule in your home country too? Not every Japanese person has the same opinion on everything so you don't have to either. I hear what you're saying about whingers but I dislike this notion that foreigners should be disallowed from making valid criticisms. I don't wolf down fast food while walking, but I frequently drink canned coffee/juice and sometimes eat fruit while walking.
related
Why didn't he open the gift? - Hashiriya - 2011-06-27
Well it really annoys me when my wife says "Japanese do this/don't do this because that is what Japanese people do." It sounds like the Japanese people all think and do everything the same. Not much room for originality there.
Why didn't he open the gift? - Splatted - 2011-06-27
Tzadeck Wrote:I think it's a mistake to think that cultural difference happen for particular reasons. If you ask people, they will come up with reasons, but usually it's just because that's how it is.I get that it's often impossible to tell how and why customs came about, but it's still interesting to hear how people explain them.
@radical_tyro: The word list doesn't work for me either.
Why didn't he open the gift? - IceCream - 2011-06-27
well, i think Tzadeck's totally right, cultural things are more tradition than reason.
i honestly haven't got a clue what reasons Japanese people might give, so i can only speculate... but i think it has to do with the givers wishes more than the receivers. (so, not so you can hide it if you dislike it.) Perhaps it's a bit embarrassing usually for the giver to see the present opened.
Anyway, the reason i think that might be it is that those people who do know that westerners usually open presents when they get them usually say 「開けてもいい？」 or, "is it ok to open this?" before they unwrap it.
... i dunno if that really means anything though...
Why didn't he open the gift? - kainzero - 2011-06-27
when i visited there i sometimes ate while walking, but then i was really pissed off because there's no trash cans anywhere and i hate carrying trash in my pockets so i stopped doing that.
also remember that if you get a present from a japanese person, take care when opening it. the western style of ripping open everything with wanton desire is actually kinda rude in their eyes, haha. =)