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Love in Japan... - FutureBlues - 2009-07-16
Oh man. Alright, a couple of things. First, high five to Jarvik. We need to get together for a beer sometime. Hahah.
As for TheTrueBlue, I want to just beam things into your brain because you've spent so much time building this fantasy up in your mind that you've missed the forest for the trees. You're not a knight in shining armor. You're not here to save a beautiful maiden from the poverty and shame of a lesser man. Girls don't want that. If anything, the current generation is sort of departing from traditional gender roles. A lot of girls are trying out this "parasite single" thing where they live with their parents and shun relationships so that they can buy clothes and vacation with their girlfriends. Why? They don't need a knight in shining armor to save them from the pitfalls of modernity. They have credit cards and vibrators. In this day and age, relationships are pretty much optional unless you want to have children. Go there, and well, children don't really jibe with this eternal honeymoon thing you've got going on here, so let's talk.
So let's see here... I've already said this, but let me reiterate it: the first time you have sex is nothing special. No matter how many mannequins you've practiced on, Kinsey Institute research papers you've read-- despite the knowledge you may or may not have gained from browsing Wikipedia and the Kama Sutra, the first time you have sex, it's going to be a humbling experience. It may be good, it may be bad, but the point is, it's not going to be this prefect construction you've laid out in your mind. You're not going to remember it forever, or write about how perfect it was in your journal that you keep in a locked steel box.
Tell me, have you ever taken a really, really good nap? Eaten shaved ice so thin it looks like folded silk on a hot summer day? Been snowboarding? Taken an amazing picture at sunset? Won a contest that you were sure you had no chance of winning? In doing any one of these things, or anything like it, did you put it off and put it off because you wanted the first time to be "special"? No, of course not. Snowboarding is fun as hell the first time, but you're going to fall on your ass over and over; at the end of it all, you're going to be so sore you can hardly move in the morning. The more often you do it, the more fun it gets, because you're not falling over every time you get off the lift. And shaved ice? Of course you're not going to wait and wait and wait-- it's a snow cone, what's the big deal? The sunset landscape? You go out there every day and shoot and shoot and shoot and eventually you come back home with a winner. I take naps all the time, and they are GREAT, every time. But I don't obsess over them, staying awake so that I can one day take the perfect nap! My point is that sex (for the first time) only seems special and different and important because you've placed so much artificial importance on it.
Sex, however, isn't about you. It's not about fulfilling your prefect fantasy that you are projecting onto your future mates. It requires a partner who is another person, who probably has a completely different thing they want. You can put off snowboarding for the first time as long as you like, because the only thing that matters is that it's your first time. With sex, you don't get the luxury. I say girls here, but really, people in general do things on their own. What if I told you that there was a girl in Japan who was involved in her own business, looking to come to America and sweep a man off his feet so that she could provide and care for him for the rest of his life. The whole concept is absurd, and somewhat silly, don't you think? Are you going to go to Japan and ask girls you meet if they've ever had sex before? Is that really what matters to you? Not to be snide, but your posts sounds like you want your life to end the way Japanese dating sims end-- meeting the perfect girl randomly, gaining her acceptance with gifts and sweet nothings, proceeding through a series of dates that start innocent and eventually get more intimate, and then sex for the first time together where both of you cum at once under a shower of rose petals. The challenge and narrative can be fun in a game, but that's not life, man. There's no infinite honeymoon because real people with real feelings don't want to dote around in love 24/7. They have goals. They want to get things done. They want the latest iPod and that cute new dress they saw. Or that promotion at work. I mean look at us. Here, we want the kanji.
If someone came into your life, right now, and said, "TheTrueBlue? I love you. I have money and a future. I'm going to take care of you. You can sell off your assets and the business you're involved in and forget about Japan because you don't need all that with me." Would you take them up on their offer?
It's actually kind of funny, though, really-- comical! Imagine if someone told you that they wanted to, say, eat mayonasie, mutually for the first time, together. That they'd been saving their tastebuds for that one, perfect first taste. Isn't that a little odd? How is sex any different? (If your argument is something like "Oh, well sex is this religious thing between..." well, I can't help you, other than to say that sex is no more religious than taking a piss-- your privates are exposed and you have to clean up afterward, in both cases.)
Love in Japan... - jonjimbo2000 - 2009-07-16
Well I must say this has been a very interesting read (some very insightful comments and some not so!!!). I enjoyed the discussion about monogamy in particular.
In my opinion life is for living and not for reading about in a book. I will briefly tell you my experiences of Japanese women (or one woman). Im afraid I dont recognise her from chorismos' description of the JW but I must be one of the lucky ones. I had been backpacking around the world and when I was in Australia I decided to go somewhere different - Japan. I was 29 at the time.
When I came home I did some research and applied for the JET programme. Around the same time I met a Japanese woman who was studying English. She is the same age as me (well 2 weeks younger). I actually met her in a library discussion group. After about 3 months we started a relationship so by the time I was moving to Japan we were pretty close. She had just moved back to Japan shortly before I moved there. I was placed, as requested, in her home prefecture (not a big city) about 3 hours drive from her home.
After about 5 months of meeting on most weekends she moved in with me. We lived together (living "in sin" as my mother used to call it) for 3 years before we got married earlier this year. We still have fights - some caused by cultural differences but most probably caused by me!!!
TheTrueBlue
My main point is that I didn't plan all of this. It's not really how I like to live my life -which has its good points and bad points. So my advice to you is just live your life and see where it takes you. You seem to have a very specific goal in mind and in my opinion are setting yourself up for disappointment. I wish you all the best in your plan and hope you find love like I did.
I think one of the main factors in our relationship is that she spent almost a year in my home country. So we have a lot of things we can talk about. I don't know if it would have worked out so well if she had always lived in Japan.
Love in Japan... - theasianpleaser - 2009-07-16
Jarvik7 Wrote:Yes, oh yes, some of them do.dat5h Wrote:It always seems like the girl is uncomfortable and being dominated (or worse). That just isn't fun to watch ... I feel bad for the girlsSome girls like being dominated.
Love in Japan... - Jarvik7 - 2009-07-16
Yes, beers are good. I can't wait to do some 飲み放 when I get back to Japan in a few weeks. Unfortunately my best drinking buddy (Osaka girl ftw) is in Korea doing 留学.
Personally I'm saving watching Yakuza movies together until me and my gf are married. I want it to be special. We have watched some 時代劇 together (she likes them more than me I think!), so that's like 2nd base or something.
Love in Japan... - dat5h - 2009-07-16
Vocab word of the day: 飲みニケーション（ノミニケーション）
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
FutureBlues Wrote:Oh man. Alright, a couple of things. First, high five to Jarvik. We need to get together for a beer sometime. Hahah.Thank you very much for your input FutureBlues. As you write I am indeed no knight in shining armor.
As for TheTrueBlue, I want to just beam things into your brain because you've spent so much time building this fantasy up in your mind that you've missed the forest for the trees. You're not a knight in shining armor. You're not here to save a beautiful maiden from the poverty and shame of a lesser man.
FutureBlues Wrote:Girls don't want that.Because you know all girls and what they want, irrespective of culture, socio-economic upbringing, etc.
FutureBlues Wrote:If anything, the current generation is sort of departing from traditional gender roles. A lot of girls are trying out this "parasite single" thing where they live with their parents and shun relationships so that they can buy clothes and vacation with their girlfriends.And a lot aren't, because they aren't all unromantic materialists like the stars of Sex in the City. There are liberal girls and traditional girls, empowered liberated women, and conservative women. This is exactly the sort of disgusting bullshit I see so much of and hate in New York women. Yes it's everywhere, but it exists more in some places (e.g. the city), than in other areas.
FutureBlues Wrote:Why? They don't need a knight in shining armor to save them from the pitfalls of modernity. They have credit cards and vibrators. In this day and age, relationships are pretty much optional unless you want to have children. Go there, and well, children don't really jibe with this eternal honeymoon thing you've got going on here, so let's talk.Based on the pressures to get married that still permeate Japanese society, your assessment of marriage as "optional" seems dubious. Maybe a great number of girls don't want to fall in love, but to say that there aren't many who do would be myopic in the extreme.
FutureBlues Wrote:So let's see here... I've already said this, but let me reiterate it: the first time you have sex is nothing special. No matter how many mannequins you've practiced on,For the record, I haven't practiced on any mannequins, I just like to be informed before I take important steps in life. And let me reiterate, it sucks to be one of those unfortunate people who didn't have a memorable first time, maybe they just got drunk and gave it up, but like getting married, there are people who plan and make special what they will do together and with one another and it ends up being one of the important things in their lives.
FutureBlues Wrote:it's going to be a humbling experience.I pray so.
FutureBlues Wrote:It may be good, it may be bad, but the point is, it's not going to be this prefect construction you've laid out in your mind.If you meant "perfect", then I've written numerous times that I don't expect it to be perfect or exact.
FutureBlues Wrote:You're not going to remember it forever, or write about how perfect it was in your journal that you keep in a locked steel box.I will remember it forever, because I'm not going to be one of those sorry losers who miss out on and just go 'whatever' with this important step in life. You're either in the driver's seat, or you're getting taken somewhere. Make plans, seek goals, don't just float along like all the other mediocre, normal, idiots, who wonder why they're depressed and have mid-life crises. It generally sucks to be normal, that's why so many are running the rat race or worship celebrities or sports stars. Again, this is all speaking generally.
FutureBlues Wrote:Tell me, have you ever taken a really, really good nap? Eaten shaved ice so thin it looks like folded silk on a hot summer day? Been snowboarding? Taken an amazing picture at sunset? Won a contest that you were sure you had no chance of winning? In doing any one of these things, or anything like it, did you put it off and put it off because you wanted the first time to be "special"?Do any of those things compare to one's wedding? Would you plan your wedding? Well maybe not, but many people would, and a great many also place great value on their first experience as well.
FutureBlues Wrote:My point is that sex (for the first time) only seems special and different and important because you've placed so much artificial importance on it.I counter that it only seems unimportant to you, because you've approached this part of living with a casual mentality. It's a constructed paradigm playing in your mind, as mine's is in my own. I'm not going to undervalue this experience of mine, no matter how forgettable your own experience was.
FutureBlues Wrote:Sex, however, isn't about you. It's not about fulfilling your prefect fantasy that you are projecting onto your future mates. It requires a partner who is another person, who probably has a completely different thing they want.I agree.
FutureBlues Wrote:Are you going to go to Japan and ask girls you meet if they've ever had sex before? Is that really what matters to you? Not to be snide, but your posts sounds like you want your life to end the way Japanese dating sims end-- meeting the perfect girl randomly, gaining her acceptance with gifts and sweet nothings, proceeding through a series of dates that start innocent and eventually get more intimate, and then sex for the first time together where both of you cum at once under a shower of rose petals.I'm not sure whether you're being facetious or deliberately trying to insult me, but I've already stated that this wasn't my intention in previous posts. Life is a shitstorm, I know. But not everything has to be shitty, especially if you invest time and energy into it.
FutureBlues Wrote:The challenge and narrative can be fun in a game, but that's not life, man. There's no infinite honeymoon because real people with real feelings don't want to dote around in love 24/7. They have goals. They want to get things done. They want the latest iPod and that cute new dress they saw. Or that promotion at work. I mean look at us. Here, we want the kanji.None of those things precludes being with the person you love while you do them.
FutureBlues Wrote:If someone came into your life, right now, and said, "TheTrueBlue? I love you. I have money and a future. I'm going to take care of you. You can sell off your assets and the business you're involved in and forget about Japan because you don't need all that with me." Would you take them up on their offer?If a wealthy, beautiful, young heiress to a great fortune came to me and offered me her love and to support me financially if I required, who would say no? To even a single date? I won't take her away from Japan, or from her friends, or from her business, or from her family, she can spend time with them as she wants.
You are projecting an imaginary delusion of what I mean based on your own perspectives from reading my posts. These are not my plans at all.
FutureBlues Wrote:It's actually kind of funny, though, really-- comical! Imagine if someone told you that they wanted to, say, eat mayonasie, mutually for the first time, together. That they'd been saving their tastebuds for that one, perfect first taste. Isn't that a little odd? How is sex any different?Your comparing sex to mayonaise truly astounds and saddens me. Perhaps you are a wise and jaded person who has become casual with his pleasures, but as I have written, I am young and glad that so many of the pleasures in life will be for me, the first time.
FutureBlues Wrote:(If your argument is something like "Oh, well sex is this religious thing between..." well, I can't help you, other than to say that sex is no more religious than taking a piss-- your privates are exposed and you have to clean up afterward, in both cases.)I am not religious in any way. But to compare the act of physical congress to going to the bathroom, I'd wager greatly that those who instead see sex with their loved one as a wonderful activity that they cherish and treasure lead far more enjoyable and memorable lives.
@jonjimbo2000
Thank you very much for your input. I'd rather take the reins and try to give direction to my life rather than simply seeing what happens. But I'm glad you can testity to non-"JW"
women being available in Japan. I will endeavor to moderate my expectations as you've advised, and as I've written all along that I try to do. Also your spouse's experience with your culture is a fascinating point to consider. You sound like a truly good person, and I wish you and yours the best.@Ampharos64
Thank you for your words Ampharos64. Your point about handwriting is interesting, but kind of alarming. ^_^;;
Ampharos64 Wrote:but if she's fairly inexperienced I imagine that all the thought you're putting into it (especially about all that plumbing...) might scare herYes the dreaded coming on too hard phenomenon. I will try to be ever vigilant of it.
Ampharos64 Wrote:I like your mention of Don Quixote, just be sure not to forget that his Dulcinea didn't really exist as he imagined her.Hmm, I'm going to dig up my copy of Don Quixote and try to figure out exactly what you mean. Thanks again.
Love in Japan... - welldone101 - 2009-07-16
Is this some sort of record for the longest post Kazelee has ever made? Just looking for some verification.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
welldone101 Wrote:Is this some sort of record for the longest post Kazelee has ever made? Just looking for some verification.I don't think you've read enough of Kazelee's posts.
...or... maybe you have.
Love in Japan... - FutureBlues - 2009-07-16
So the lifestyles of liberal and empowered women are bullshit? I mean, my problem with the parasite single thing is that living with your parents your whole life means you never get to experience REAL LIFE out on your own, which makes you a boring person. And telling your date she can't come in because your mom and pop have already gone to bed is a great way to fail at life.
However, smart, empowered women who know what they want and work towards their goals are pretty sexy, as far as I'm concerned.The girls you date may or may not fall in line with these girls who feel pressured to marry. Think about it, if your family is pressuring you to marry someone (conservative values), then it's likely that they're also pressuring you to marry Japanese. Matchmaking services (in Japan) are still pretty profitable, in that there is no shortage of customers, as far as I know. Article here: http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/nn20090114f1.html
Have you ever seen the movie "ワンダフルライフ"? It's a Japanese movie about what happens after death. Basically, people get to choose one experience from their life and a group of employees in purgatory make a film out of that experience and then the person watches it and gets to live forever in that one experience. One of the people, an older guy, spends most of the movie talking to his counselor about how any man in the world, no matter what his situation, will undoubtedly choose sex as their memory. It's not completely clear which memory he eventually chooses, but it's hinted that he went with something far more mundane-- eating porridge with a woman he knew in Aomori.
I'm neither jaded nor unhappy. What I have is perspective.
A friend of mine recently met a girl he loved. They had a ton in common and she was cute, energetic, coolest girl he ever met. However, he mentioned something randomly about wondering what might happen to their relationship when he would have to move in two years and they went out a few more times and then she cut things off, because she felt confined and weirded out by the fact he was talking about the distant future so soon into the relationship. All this talk and planning about marriage and providing for your girl and whatnot might, in fact, freak her out. Point to ponder.
I want to say that you should quit trying to plan every step of your life out and go date somebody. Some experience and hindsight will cure of your delusions far more effectively than any one post on this forum will... But ultimately, in this thread, as in the other one (about the guy coming to Japan because he felt it was his destiny to live here), I want to ask this: Why Japan? Why not Spain or Taiwan or Australia? What makes you think you're going to find the perfect woman in Japan when you live in New York, one of the largest, most genetically diverse cities in the world with people of all shapes, sizes and sorts and you can't find a single woman that matches any of your criteria?
Love in Japan... - Musashi - 2009-07-16
TGWeaver Wrote:Ah?! How does that make it different? First of all it DOESN'T say American woman or black woman or any other. You can say what you want, that post was specifically targeted, hence the JW at the beginning.Musashi Wrote:nope. not blind.TGWeaver Wrote:one final point: nothing in his post was racist. careful how you use that term. he spoke about culture, but i didn't get the sense that race really entered the picture... unless of course you view japanese people as a race. which i don't.Not RACIST?! FYI! In case you missed the 'JW' written at the beginning of every point he wrote. U blind or sumting??
do the following: change every "JW" in his post to "American woman." does you still feel it's racist? my guess is that you don't. next, change it to "black woman." suddenly it feels a little different, doesn't it?
TGWeaver Wrote:what i'm trying to say is this: japan is a country, not a race. japanese people are a group of people that have common laws and culture, not a group of people sharing the same genetic imprint (though some like to think so).And writing JW means the country right?
way to go you (NOT)
Love in Japan... - nadiatims - 2009-07-16
To TheTrueBlue:
You can read all the books you like, but you need to get your feet wet. None of that knowledge means shit until you have some experience to put it all into context. Being a noob isn't optional. You can't bypass that stage. But it's not something to be ashamed of either.
Also, what happens if(I should say when) you find some girl and everything is going well, and then you find out she's (shock horror) not a virgin? Because it's 99% likely she's not. Are you going to ask girls when you first meet them to avoid wasting your time? seriously man wtf?
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
FutureBlues Wrote:So the lifestyles of liberal and empowered women are bullshit?No, but "unromantic materialism" as a way of life, which is what I actually indicted, comes close.
FutureBlues Wrote:However, smart, empowered women who know what they want and work towards their goals are pretty sexy, as far as I'm concerned.Smart, empowered, goal-oriented women are great. I'd be blessed to network with any such a capable and accomplished woman. They might be sexually appealing to certain persons, but I'll quote Stephen King here and say: "Different Strokes for Different Folks."
FutureBlues Wrote:Think about it, if your family is pressuring you to marry someone (conservative values), then it's likely that they're also pressuring you to marry Japanese. Matchmaking services (in Japan) are still pretty profitable, in that there is no shortage of customers, as far as I know. Article here: http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/nn20090114f1.htmlThis is a great point, I'm not sure how well they'll take a "halfer" / "halfling" or whatever I'd be called, since my mother is Japanese but my father is Chinese. But my money and rigorous study of omiai etiquette plus ample gifts will serve to alleviate any strong anxieties.
But maybe an Omiai with some younger girls could work! Wow, thanks for this train of thought FutureBlues, I will definately look more into Omiai options for young people. This could certainly be smoother and more efficient than running around the countryside with my Japanese friends simply looking for love.
FutureBlues Wrote:Have you ever seen the movie "ワンダフルライフ"? It's a Japanese movie about what happens after death. Basically, people get to choose one experience from their life and a group of employees in purgatory make a film out of that experience and then the person watches it and gets to live forever in that one experience. One of the people, an older guy, spends most of the movie talking to his counselor about how any man in the world, no matter what his situation, will undoubtedly choose sex as their memory. It's not completely clear which memory he eventually chooses, but it's hinted that he went with something far more mundane-- eating porridge with a woman he knew in Aomori.That sounds like a superb movie to check out. I'll be googling it ASAP tomorrow. Thank you for bringing it up.
FutureBlues Wrote:I want to say that you should quit trying to plan every step of your life out and go date somebody.I've been on my share of dates already, but I do appreciate the importance of these specific experiences.
FutureBlues Wrote:Some experience and hindsight will cure of your delusions far more effectively than any one post on this forum will...I should like to believe that my goals aren't as fantastical or as magical or only loosely tied to reality as some of the previous text may have indicated. When I volunteered at a Hospice center in Brooklyn during High School summers, I talked to many dying patients frequently about death. And that in-field actually-there experience was indeed, beyond the powers of books or forum posts to fully prepare one for. But the course on Hospice work that was tied to this summer program gave me preparation for the Hospice center. Jumping into that situation without studying it beforehand could have been disasterous. Both had merit and value.
FutureBlues Wrote:But ultimately, in this thread, as in the other one (about the guy coming to Japan because he felt it was his destiny to live here), I want to ask this: Why Japan? Why not Spain or Taiwan or Australia? What makes you think you're going to find the perfect woman in Japan when you live in New York, one of the largest, most genetically diverse cities in the world with people of all shapes, sizes and sorts and you can't find a single woman that matches any of your criteria?Because from the information I've garnered, there appears likely to be a high number of girls with the traits I'm looking for in Japan. I also admire Japanese culture and history. It's not my destiny, it's what I'm planning.
Why not Taiwan? Because it's a small island, I might as well just go to China if that. I speak fluent Mandarin and I love Chinese history, but I'm not into the trends in entertainment or events on the mainland as I am with Japan.
Why not Spain? Even though I've taken 5 years of Spanish, I would be culturally lost in Spain. I don't any know of the TV shows, or slang, or youth culture, or political climate, etc. of Spain as I do of Japan.
Why not Australia? Ditto above.
Why not stay in NYC? Well again, this is of course only my own take on it, but I'm sick of going on blind dates or friend's recommendations girls' who end up with none of what I'm looking for. And (unfortunately) what I look for isn't common in NYC.
@nadiatims
Of course I won't ask directly, but there are ways to pose the question that won't offend. Such as laughingly: "It might sound kind of embarassing but I'm still a virgin." Then elaborate and joke about it and ask her for her take on it, at some point, and this is only our skills as a speaker being tested here, you can get the information you're looking for.
If she's not, then it's cool, we can be good friends. There plenty of other fish in the sea for both me and her. I do of course acknowledge but fear the possibility that I'll be so head-over-heels in love (as people are apt to fall into) that I won't care either way.
But that's not what I'm planning and I certainly hope it's not what ends up happening. Although of course, again, nothing in life turns out 100% exactly as we plan it.
You can't perfectly prepare an army for a future battle, but you can drill them and train them and devise battle strategies. All of that practice and strategizing won't be for nothing.
Love in Japan... - Musashi - 2009-07-16
nadiatims Wrote:To TheTrueBlue:TheTrueBlue=バージンでしょう？
You can read all the books you like, but you need to get your feet wet. None of that knowledge means shit until you have some experience to put it all into context. Being a noob isn't optional.
*giggle
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
Yes Musashi.
わたしは童貞です。
Although I'm confident that I defy most conventions regarding the kind of person a virgin is thought to be. I've been in bed with probably as many women now as the average joe has serious relationships with his whole life. And as to how I'm still a virgin, please refer to previous posts, it was mostly "petting." And I surreptitiously reframed from kissing them on the lips, and of course I did not engage fully. I always got overwhelmingly positive feedback though from the girl, until I got a "cell phone call" or remembered an "appointment" and got the hell out of dodge.
It wasn't forced, I really had no interest in full-blown sex with this girl given what's at stake and my own views on what great sex can be. I don't want to go through this experience in my life and have it be just with some random hot girl I met 2 dates ago.
You can plan your marriage, or just elope. You can plan for your kids' college education, or you can sit back and hope it will somehow work out. With milestones in life, what you reap is often what you sow.
I want to cross this threshold as best I know how.
Love in Japan... - Musashi - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:Yes Musashi.あっ、ごめね、別に。さっきのは冗談だっただけ。刚才只是跟你开玩笑啦，没什么得别意思，请不要见怪
わたしは童貞です。
Although I'm confident that I defy most conventions regarding the kind of person a virgin is thought to be. I've been in bed with probably as many women now as the average joe has serious relationships with his whole life. And as to how I'm still a virgin, please refer to previous posts, it was mostly "petting." And I surreptitiously reframed from kissing them on the lips, and of course I did not engage fully. I always got overwhelmingly positive feedback though from the girl, until I got a "cell phone call" or remembered an "appointment" and got the hell out of dodge.
I don't want to go through this experience in my life and have it be just with some random hot girl I met 2 dates ago. You can plan your marriage, or just elope. You can plan for your kids' college education, or you can sit back and hope it will somehow work out. With milestones in life, what you reap is often what you sow.
I want to cross this threshold as best I know how.
Love in Japan... - Jarvik7 - 2009-07-16
In my experience, only those with zero prospects go for omiai in modern times.
Omiai is more to make kids & a family than it is to find love. That is why career/money plays the largest role in the proceedings.
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
＠Musashi
いえ，大丈夫です。Musashi はクールな方ですから。 ：）
没事, 我读那句话的时候，我的判断已经告诉我了，这可能是个玩笑吧．．．
请 Musashi， 要是以后您可以不要去狠狠得抠那些特别敏感还是粗鲁的 ＲＴＫ 同学们那就可能这里会平安一些． 多谢．
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
Jarvik7 Wrote:In my experience, only those with zero prospects go for omiai in modern times.しまった！ But there's even young people in omiai circles, not just Japanese women turning 30 getting dragged into it because she owes her parents a favor or something. I must not lose hope and seek out the rarer kinds of omiai.
Omiai is more to make kids & a family than it is to find love. That is why career/money plays the largest role in the proceedings.
Love in Japan... - blackmacros - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:＠MusashiHang on a second...that doesn't look like Japanese...
いえ，大丈夫です。Musashi はクールな方ですから。 ：）
没事, 我读那句话的时候，我的判断已经告诉我了，这可能是个玩笑吧．．．
请 Musashi， 要是以后您可以不要去狠狠得抠那些特别敏感还是粗鲁的 ＲＴＫ 同学们那就可能这里会平安一些． 多谢．
I was wondering why I couldn't read it.
Love in Japan... - Musashi - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:＠Musashi咳，这里每次都这么乱的，所以大家写的东西你就当随便读读而已。其实我没有读你写那些东西但我看到那么多人向你写我才读后面那些。我也不知道你们之前到底在谈什么，写到那么长，我都头晕啦。这里有些人空时间实在太多了，乱来乱写，一眼开一眼闭吧，哈哈。
いえ，大丈夫です。Musashi はクールな方ですから。 ：）
没事, 我读那句话的时候，我的判断已经告诉我了，这可能是个玩笑吧．．．
请 Musashi， 要是以后您可以不要去狠狠得抠那些特别敏感还是粗鲁的 ＲＴＫ 同学们那就可能这里会平安一些． 多谢．
Love in Japan... - Jarvik7 - 2009-07-16
Probably only young people who cannot find a mate any other way due to undesirable looks or a horrific personality
or gold diggers who want the shortest path to money and are willing to marry someone older to get it.
Either way, I'm not a fan of it. I doubt you'll find much success anyways if you plan on bringing your omiai bride back to America. The parents would never have it (they tend to control omiai proceedings). You also wouldn't have much to bring to the table, being a foreigner (omiai is a very traditional institution) and not having your parents and koseki there to speak for you. Omiai is nothing like a dating service.
Love in Japan... - strugglebunny - 2009-07-16
This thread is such a train wreck. Love is the same everywhere: terrible.
And to derail this thread even further, genetically, yes, the modern Japanese are a race...of island locked Koreans.
Blah. Can't we go back to kanji and weird J-pop covers of punk songs?
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
@Musashi
了解しました。
Jarvik7 Wrote:Probably only young people who cannot find a mate any other way due to undesirable looks or a horrific personalityI don't plan to bring her back to the U.S. But don't money, looks, charm and prospects count for anything? My half-Japanese Nisei status is worthless? しくしく。。。
or gold diggers who want the shortest path to money and are willing to marry someone older to get it.
Either way, I'm not a fan of it. I doubt you'll find much success anyways if you plan on bringing your omiai bride back to America. The parents would never have it (they tend to control omiai proceedings). You also wouldn't have much to bring to the table, being a foreigner (omiai is a very traditional institution) and not having your parents and koseki there to speak for you. Omiai is nothing like a dating service.
Love in Japan... - strugglebunny - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:@MusashiOmiai? Seriously? Have we reverted back to the feudal times? Is that thar a drakon in those hills?
了解しました。
Jarvik7 Wrote:Probably only young people who cannot find a mate any other way due to undesirable looks or a horrific personalityI don't plan to bring her back to the U.S. But don't money, looks, charm and prospects count for anything? My half-Japanese Nisei status is worthless? しくしく。。。
or gold diggers who want the shortest path to money and are willing to marry someone older to get it.
Either way, I'm not a fan of it. I doubt you'll find much success anyways if you plan on bringing your omiai bride back to America. The parents would never have it (they tend to control omiai proceedings). You also wouldn't have much to bring to the table, being a foreigner (omiai is a very traditional institution) and not having your parents and koseki there to speak for you. Omiai is nothing like a dating service.
Love in Japan... - theBryan - 2009-07-16
A Japanese girl once had this to say about the topic of love and relationships in general.
Quote:恋愛はいいけどand her friends nodded in agreement (of course)