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+--- Thread: Love in Japan... (/thread-3512.html)
Love in Japan... - Brittswimmer1y6 - 2009-07-16
You should probably become a slave to your crotch like venom (緊) all day before if you want to last all night on your first experience.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
*TheTrueBlue
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
Aijin Wrote:I didn't appreciate the Gaspard de la Nuit until I tried to learn it. Just listening to it, it the virtuosity isn't as obvious as it is in something like the Études d'exécution transcendante.No, if she's the girl for me (details previously posted), then there'd be no more practice. This practice thing is something I'm trying to take from my experiences now to hopefully benefit me later.
I'd rather listen to a Rachmaninoff concerto any day of the week though
Well, maybe TrueBlue can find a kama sutra teacher, and he and his future wife can practice etc before they do it. Mock sex, if you will, kinda like people practice CPR on plastic dolls before they do it to real people.
Ice Cream Wrote:It's like speaking to a 7 year old about Kant or Hegel.Thank you for comparing me to a 7 year old. My categorical imperative to do all I know how to for the sake of my (and my spouse's) future happiness is something I do, as I believe all should do.
Ice Cream Wrote:And if it doesn't work out, it's not necessarily your fault, like you were saying.Actually what I wrote was that it very possibly was my fault, for doing or not doing the wrong things or for committing to the wrong person, and that I'd try to learn what I can from the experience.
Love in Japan... - blackmacros - 2009-07-16
QuackingShoe Wrote:*TheTrueBlueThere's a lot of name-confusing and gender discovery in this thread isn't there?
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:To be honest, we did some foreplay and other stuff. So I wasn't totally inexperienced coming to our first time together, なんて言うか。。。練習。。。かも。。。な？（笑）. But I just didn't want to have my first experience with them. Instead, as things progressed, I just thought "You know, this girl, she's not the one, I can't do it." and I didn't.That doesn't seem so creepy. It also doesn't seem so honest. You've stated very clearly that these girls were intentionally practice dummies, not people you got involved with and then decided 'Oh, maybe she isn't the one' as 'things progressed,' and then broke it off.
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
Can there now please be moar tips on how to meet girls in Japan?
TrueBlue-bashing has run its course, huzzah! (strikethrough this line)
@quackingshoe
Maybe I miswrote what I meant, but I believe I also wrote that I didn't know going in, whether she'd be someone I'd fall for at some point, but that more likely than not, based on my previous experiences with her before now, she really wouldn't be.
Did I stop the instant I knew it wasn't going to happen? No, but I'm not looking for guinea pigs, I'm exploring and living life like anyone else.
Love in Japan... - kazelee - 2009-07-16
Aijin Wrote:I didn't appreciate the Gaspard de la Nuit until I tried to learn it. Just listening to it, it the virtuosity isn't as obvious as it is in something like the Études d'exécution transcendante.So you're a pianist as well? And you tried to learn it? The closest I've come to virtuosity is Chopin's 10-1 and Gnomenreigen. To the 10-1 I say, never again.
Aijin Wrote:I'd listen to a Rachmaninoff concerto any day of the week thoughAmen to that.
Aijin Wrote:Well, maybe TrueBlue can find a kama sutra teacher, and he and his future wife can practice etc before they do it. Mock sex, if you will, kinda like people practice CPR on plastic dolls before they do it to real people.Thats uh... really thinking out of the box there. LOL.
Love in Japan... - kanjiwarrior - 2009-07-16
Aijin Wrote:Well, maybe TrueBlue can find a kama sutra teacher, and he and his future wife can practice etc before they do it. Mock sex, if you will, kinda like people practice CPR on plastic dolls before they do it to real people.Then he'll soon find out that relationships aren't all about sex, that's only a small part of it. In the beginning of course we put a magnifying glass over that part, but you can't build a relationship only on good sex, it will fall apart pretty quickly.
If anything he should be practicing relationships, because that is the hard part (although you can't really practice that because each relationship is gonna be different and each person will have their own flaws and weaknesses that put stress on things). Sex is actually the easy part. Really there isn't much too to sex, but understanding other people, building a strong relationship it takes practice and a lot of hard work.
Lastly, I swear when I was was checking into this thread a little while ago, that white phallic creature on Icecreams avatar was bleeding.
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
kanjiwarrior Wrote:I never wrote that relationships are all about sex.Aijin Wrote:Well, maybe TrueBlue can find a kama sutra teacher, and he and his future wife can practice etc before they do it. Mock sex, if you will, kinda like people practice CPR on plastic dolls before they do it to real people.Then he'll soon find out that relationships aren't all about sex, that's only a small part of it. In the beginning of course we put a magnifying glass over that part, but you can't build a relationship only on good sex, it will fall apart pretty quickly.
If anything he should be practicing relationships, because that is the hard part (although you can't really practice that because each relationship is gonna be different and each person will have their own flaws and weaknesses that put stress on things). Sex is actually the easy part. Really there isn't much too to sex, but understanding other people, building a strong relationship it takes practice and a lot of hard work.
Lastly, I swear when I was was checking into this thread a little while ago, that white phallic creature on Icecreams avatar was bleeding.
My going out with girls as I continue to humor my well-meaning friends and do, should constitute a kind of relationship experience, I believe.
I disagree that "really there isn't much too to sex" as you write, but of course this is my own opinion- that there can be quite a lot to sex, and that sex can be incredibly fulfilling and endearing to both members of a couple. Again, I'm not stating that it is or should be the central or only part of a relationship.
Yes Ice Cream's little munchkin was bleeding, now it's green.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
kanjiwarrior Wrote:Lastly, I swear when I was was checking into this thread a little while ago, that white phallic creature on Icecreams avatar was bleeding.Obviously you're going insane.
(And also she changed it)
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
What can a person do to be a better お見合い candidate?
Is there a Japanese equivalent to girls saying "I need to wash my hair that night a.k.a no"
And please don't say that it's simply ”ちょっと”。
Are 祭りs a good place to look for love?
Would going around in a limo be really off-putting to many Japanese folks in the 田舎？
@Ice Cream
Oooooh! An Ice Cream! Now I see it. I thought it was CSI:Tokyo or something. But it's gone now.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
Is this new avatar some kind of bear with a dildo?
Love in Japan... - Ampharos64 - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:You can be with someone you love and have the kitties and the books too!Bah, they'd be certain to get in the way, and interrupt just when I'm getting to the good bit.
Anyway, from your last couple of posts I think I understand what you meant better now, it was perhaps just the way you expressed yourself.
By expectations, I don't mean so much how you expect her to behave, really. It's that, well, it could be difficult to be so much to someone. Most people might wonder at least sometimes if they can live up to that, and fear letting the other person down.
Hmm, girls are surely not hard to meet. I don't know how old you are, and if you've been/are going to University? You might meet someone there, a lot of couples do (as regards Japan, sometimes there's the option of a year abroad). Or maybe someone at work, if you work in Japan at some point, I guess. So, not just hanging around bars in the hope the girl of your dreams will walk in (well, you can try that, too).
Anyway, now I'm really going to learn some more Kanji...the night is young! (but I'm slightly frazzled, so excuse me if I'm not making much sense)
Love in Japan... - kanjiwarrior - 2009-07-16
IceCream Wrote:ITS AN ICE CREAM!!!!あ！ごめんなさい。 ほら、これを見てください。 アイスは怖いですよ！
... oh forget it. i give up.
http://nocturnal-devil.deviantart.com/art/Icecream-print-26721624
Love in Japan... - danieldesu - 2009-07-16
IceCream Wrote:When I read that, I remembered her talking about her books, so I imagined her getting to the good part of a romance novel or something... and of course, what follows from thatQuackingShoe Wrote:TheTrueBlue wrote:Either you are very tired or i am cos this sentence has waaaay too many interpretations
You can be with someone you love and have the kitties and the books too! smile
Bah, they'd be certain to get in the way, and interrupt just when I'm getting to the good bit.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
IceCream Wrote:I was of course just messing with youi think i like the connotations of the ice cream better...
That second quote has my name on it incorrectly, btw.
Love in Japan... - Brittswimmer1y6 - 2009-07-16
Creepy looking ice cream:
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Gross/scary-ice-cream-faces.jpg
Love in Japan... - Jarvik7 - 2009-07-16
This thread really reminds me of the movie "The 40-year-old Virgin". Somebody is putting something on a pedestal and is bound to get disappointed.
Love in Japan... - Ampharos64 - 2009-07-16
>_< I must be tired (nearly four in the morning here), as a English Lit. graduate I ought to be aware of all the possible 'interpretations'. Especially in a topic like this.
My idea of a Romance is the medieval kind with knights, lots of battles, and quests for the grail. The occasional damsel in distress, I guess, but those are fairly boring (Guinevere however is hilarious in Malory, you can't but feel sorry for Lancelot since she quite literally drives him mad at one point). That's where the modern connotation of romance comes from, from the courtly love ideals often present in the medieval texts (they were called 'romances' because they were written in the vernacular, and not in Latin)...ok, I'll shut up.
Love in Japan... - TheTrueBlue - 2009-07-16
Jarvik7 Wrote:This thread really reminds me of the movie "The 30-year-old Virgin". Somebody is putting something on a pedestal and is bound to get disappointed.Except I'm 23, not poor, don't own any figurines, don't live with my parents, could have chosen to not be a virgin already, don't freak out in intimate situations, am putting something on a pedestal that deserves to be on a pedestal (one's first sexual experience), and am not fatalistically bound for anything.
Love in Japan... - dat5h - 2009-07-16
Jarvik7 Wrote:This thread really reminds me of the movie "The 30-year-old Virgin". Somebody is putting something on a pedestal and is bound to get disappointed.I dunno, it reminds me of 始
Love in Japan... - Aijin - 2009-07-16
kazelee Wrote:So you're a pianist as well? And you tried to learn it? The closest I've come to virtuosity is Chopin's 10-1 and Gnomenreigen. To the 10-1 I say, never again.I used to be
sadly I had to give it up due to an injury. Quote:am putting something on a pedestal that deserves to be on a pedestal (one's first sexual experience),You say that it's fine if sex hurts her and you have to call it quits...but wouldn't that ruin your ideal first time? Two minutes of awkward, painful thrusting followed by a, "let's not do this" isn't exactly the most magical of moments.
I just fail to see why you have to have a virgin though. My first time was with another virgin, and I definitely understand that it feels great knowing that physical intimacy is something you've only shared with each other, but that didn't necessarily make it more meaningful than sex with other partners afterwards.
I'm just saying, don't get your hopes up too high. I've met quite a few American guys who feel socially awkward, have difficulty finding the right girl in the states, etc, and think that if they just move to Japan a lot of girls will fawn over them, that their romance will be like all the blushing innocent, naïve anime romances they watch.
I'm not by any means saying that you're like that, just that it's something I see often, and that it never works out well.
Most marriages where an American guy goes to Japan and marries a Japanese girl, it's because the girl wants to live in the states and is using her husband as a means to it. That doesn't mean that their isn't affection involved, just that it happens a lot. It's much rarer for a girl to marry a westerner who wants to live in Japan with her.
I mean, my life experiences are by no means empirical data, but a lot of girls will date an American guy if they find him attractive, but marriage is a whole different story. Especially if you want to find a girl in the more rural areas, which I think you mentioned. There's still family pressure to not marry foreigners in the culture, etc.
You really need to stand out to get a girl to fall in love with you enough to marry you over the countless Japanese men who she can communicate better with, whom would fit better into her family, etc. And unless you're wealthy, dashingly handsome, or have a superb personality, you might find some difficulty finding that 'ideal girl'.
I'm not saying it's impossible, as it definitely occurs, but you really need to not have such high expectations.
Love in Japan... - Jarvik7 - 2009-07-16
There is no reason for one's first sexual experience to be on a pedestal any more than one's first time eating mayonnaise.
The "importance" of it is entirely a socio-religious construction.
While I like to pretend in my head that my gf is a pure untouched flower, I'm glad that she isn't. Dealing with her awkwardness & shyness, and her not knowing what she wants (in a relationship, in a partner, in bed, etc) is a pain in the ass.
Love in Japan... - activeaero - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:, am putting something on a pedestal that deserves to be on a pedestal (one's first sexual experience), and am not fatalistically bound for anything.Sorry but you've already admitted to having your first sexual experience and are simply choosing to ignore it because you are clearly delusional and looking for something that doesn't exist the way you want it to.
Love in Japan... - QuackingShoe - 2009-07-16
TheTrueBlue Wrote:Except I'm 23, not poor, don't own any figurines, don't live with my parents, could have chosen to not be a virgin already, don't freak out in intimate situations, am putting something on a pedestal that deserves to be on a pedestal (one's first sexual experience), and am not fatalistically bound for anything.It's a valid comparison; everything else was fluff. The singular point of the movie, which it explored in different ways with different characters, was that putting sex on a pedestal was ridiculous and damaging to our entire culture. It's why it was a good movie.