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+--- Thread: I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text (/thread-11653.html)
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - learningkanji - 2014-03-02
I'm trying to get into reading more and this seems like a good book because the translation is right there and it tells you what all the words mean. But the translations seem a bit weird. For example:
女は長い髪を枕に敷いて、輪廓の柔らかな瓜実顔をその中に横たえる。
From that I get the gist of "Her long hair pillow on spread out, outline's soft oval face, in that lie down." based on the definitions that were given for those words.
The translation though is "Her long black hair spread out fanlike over the pillow, framing the soft outlines of her oval face."
So my confusion is, where does fanlike and framing come from? What does "その中に横たえる。" mean in this sentence?
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - Fillanzea - 2014-03-02
'Fanlike' isn't really in the original; possibly the translator just wanted to give a bit more nuance to 'spread out.'
The issue in the second half of the sentence is that 輪廓の柔らかな is a phrase that modifies 瓜実顔. の isn't being used as a possessive, it's being used as part of a relative clause.
Have you seen this pattern before?
髪の長い少女・髪が長い少女 'the girl with long hair' (There are certain differences between の and が in where they can be used and where they sound natural, but they have the same function in sentences like these.)
This is the same pattern - "The oval face with soft outlines."
The topic of the sentence is 女は, so the woman 'spreads her long hair on the pillow' (1st phrase) and 'lays (横たえる) her oval-face-with-soft-outlines down in the center.' (2nd phrase.) 'Framing' is just how the translator chose to convey in English that idea of the face in the center, and the hair spread out around it.
You can see why the translator rearranged that somewhat to be more elegant in English.
By the way: If you are just getting into reading authentic Japanese texts, I really urge you not to get that particular book. The person who compiled the book needed to use sources that were in the public domain, which means sources that are mostly about 100 years old, and they're much more challenging than reading something by a more contemporary author, both in the grammar and in the word usage.
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - sparky14 - 2014-03-02
I'm not that experienced, but I'm pretty sure the translations aren't very literal. The translations are much more "literary" or "artsy" if that makes sense? Could be totally wrong though... better wait for someone with more experience
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - fzort - 2014-03-02
長い髪を枕に敷いて → literally "her long hair spread out on (に) the pillow"
輪廓の柔らかな瓜実顔 → here 輪郭の柔らか works like a single adjective modifying 瓜実顔, that's why it's "soft outlines of her oval face"
その中に is saying where her oval face is lying down: in the middle of that (hair). That's why her hair is "framing" her face.
By the way, I have that book and I like it a lot (my copy is all dog-eared and worn out), but I wouldn't recommend it if you're at a lower intermediate level and just looking for something to practice your reading and pick some vocabulary. I think that the preface says something like "take the reader from the humdrum world of magazine articles to the exciting world of Japanese literature", so it's really meant for someone who can already read some Japanese. The stories are all pretty old and full of archaic vocabulary and kanji usage (for instance: 輪廓 in that sentence is more commonly written 輪郭). Also, as you already noticed, the translations are more on the literary side (I'm cool with that, though; I love Miller's translations).
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - learningkanji - 2014-03-02
Fillanzea Wrote:'Fanlike' isn't really in the original; possibly the translator just wanted to give a bit more nuance to 'spread out.'I kinda figured he might be changing it a bit to be more elegant in English but wasn't sure. If that's the case then I would prefer reading something else. Any recommendations?
The issue in the second half of the sentence is that 輪廓の柔らかな is a phrase that modifies 瓜実顔. の isn't being used as a possessive, it's being used as part of a relative clause.
Have you seen this pattern before?
髪の長い少女・髪が長い少女 'the girl with long hair' (There are certain differences between の and が in where they can be used and where they sound natural, but they have the same function in sentences like these.)
This is the same pattern - "The oval face with soft outlines."
The topic of the sentence is 女は, so the woman 'spreads her long hair on the pillow' (1st phrase) and 'lays (横たえる) her oval-face-with-soft-outlines down in the center.' (2nd phrase.) 'Framing' is just how the translator chose to convey in English that idea of the face in the center, and the hair spread out around it.
You can see why the translator rearranged that somewhat to be more elegant in English.
By the way: If you are just getting into reading authentic Japanese texts, I really urge you not to get that particular book. The person who compiled the book needed to use sources that were in the public domain, which means sources that are mostly about 100 years old, and they're much more challenging than reading something by a more contemporary author, both in the grammar and in the word usage.
I'm checking out a preview of Seven Modern Classics in Parallel Text - Fillanzea - 2014-03-02
I recommend the Read Real Japanese books and the Japanese Graded Readers (レベル別日本語多読ライブラリー) (probably just the highest level of those); and then, I would try contemporary novels, short stories, and essays. I was reading contemporary Japanese literature for a couple of years before I really had the language skills to be comfortable with authors like Soseki, even with glosses.